Would’ve done it sooner but had to wait on SCOTUS! 🥂

Well, basically what the title says. So husband’s priority was always his friends and doing things alone and having his own individuality. Awesome, right? Except no effort in romance or the relationship whatsoever. I was always chasing him. Until I decided to start my own life without him, at first I tried to find the spaces where he was already doing something else, then it hit me I was just accommodating to him, and started just going around with my new hobbies and stuff.

Now we absolutely don’t have a marriage and things are probably ending soon, for a lot of other reasons too, but this one hurts so much.

ETA: 8 years together, 34M and 37F, blessed that I didn’t have children with a man who didn’t have empathy or consideration towards me

ETA2: I didn’t do this on a first instance for gods sake. I communicated my needs for years on end, we went to therapy, and ultimately there were so many other instances where I was verbally insulted and threatened with divorce over small things. I loved this man with all my heart and I don’t want to love another man again. Thanks.

ETA3: he recently said to my he doesn’t even want to spend time with me, and is unsure whether he wants to fix this or not, then left on Saturday at 11am and returned at 1am.

Im not sure how to help my marriage.

My husband and i have been together a total of 13 years. Married for 3 and have a 10 month old.

When we were dating he mentioned he wanted to do an ironman in Hawaii because his father did it. Mind you this was the 80s and he was single in his early 20s and anyone could sign up and go. Now you have to compete and qualify to be able to go to Hawaii.

After we got married my husband decided to start pursuing this dream. I was all for it until i realized how much time and money this costs. He has done 5 ironman races now and is no where close to qualifying for Hawaii and he is now in his mis 30s and a father.

I have sacrificed my body, sleep, and hobbies to be with my baby all day and night and keep our house in order while he keeps training but I am so sick of this. He is beating his body up and barely finishing these races because he is throwing up and falling over and miserable for days after. I am worried about his health and I tell him i cannot support this hobby of his if it’s ruining his body. It causes fights constantly and i cannot take it anymore.

I am 62M and my wife is 64. I have had a fantasy since puberty of someday having an uninhibited woman who would be nude or nearly nude at home.

After 10 years of marriage I just asked. All I can say is I wish I would have asked sooner. She loves it. She loves my admiring gapes I guess.

She just does it now. She sleeps nude and makes breakfast the same way. It’s usually well past noon before she bothers dressing. We just giggle and grope and have fun.

Is this unusual at our age? I feel very fortunate.

I found out I was pregnant on Oct 4th. That morning, I was so excited to tell him but he was still asleep. I decided to write a note that says "good morning, daddy!" and the look on his shocked and smiling face was priceless.

Last night I was getting ready for bed and he was laying down waiting for me, he said "you know what I'm really excited about?" And I said, "what are you excited for?" And he said, "a new best friend!"

My heart melted instantly and I gave him lots of cuddles and kisses. I think he will be an awesome dad. That comment will probably stay with me my entire life. I saw in my mind's eye our child's whole life in a split second and it was all good memories with their dad. He tells me about all the plans he has for raising our kid and he's working extra hard at his job and at home too. I feel really blessed 🥰

Does anyone else’s husband get mad when they start their period? The second he gets home from work and sees a box of tampons sitting on the counter, it’s like a switch flips and his whole mood changes. Suddenly he’s mopey, pissy, and giving off this vibe that something is wrong, but if I ask him about it, he denies, denies, denies that anything is wrong. It literally gives me anxiety because I feel like I have to walk on eggshells in my own house, trying to figure out what I did wrong when I haven’t even done anything.

And the thing is, he won’t actually SAY he’s upset about it, so I’m left feeling the tension and questioning myself. Then he wonders why I don’t feel like doing anything or why I’m not in the mood when I’m on my period. Like, I’m already dealing with cramps, bleeding, and feeling like crap. Now I have to deal with your attitude, too?

I genuinely want to know if anyone else deals with this because I feel crazy even typing it out.

I’ve laughed more in the last 3 years than in the 12 before I met her

That’s all. Just wanted to let everyone know.

My husband is out of town, he works all week out of state and gets to be home on the weekends as of right now.

He works very hard and long hours. Dangerous job. Our life outside of that hasn't been easy lately. The kids are busy with their extracurriculars and the normal every day drama that comes with having a teen and pre teen. Very dear family members are in the hospital, and its also a rough time because it has been a year since his only parent died.

I'm also not doing well mentally emotionally or physically. Very stressed. And I know he picks up on it and it probably effects him more than he lets on.

So I decided today that I am going to surprise him try make sure the house is absolutely spotless, and get all dressed up Friday night, I made arrangements for the kids, and I'm planning on cooking a special dinner, maybe steak?

I guess my question is, guys, what would be your dream date at home? Any dinner ideas? I was thinking maybe we could watch some movies on the couch but are there any other fun activities(other than the obvious haha) that I could plan to do?

I just want it to be special and show him how much I appreciate him, give him a night just for him just because. I don't want to mess it up.

Edited to say: I'll take advice from the ladies too 🥲

When I came home from the gym today, the kitchen smelled great and she smiled and said that she made me cookies. She did this just for no reason other than she wanted to do something nice for me.

This is a debate I’ve had with other married people. Obviously appearance cannot be everything and there must be more to a marriage than that. I’m not trying to downplay the importance of personality and compatibility.

I simply think my wife is gorgeous and that is something I think of often and it makes up a not insignificant portion of how much joy I get from my marriage. To say it is just a “bonus” or something I don’t care that much about even after 14 years together would be a lie.

My husband called me out of my name this morning and I’m having a hard time getting over it….

He called me a bitch and an ignorant idiot.

I don’t think the context is super important, but I was getting ready for work and he was upset because our cat had peed on something (I clean the litter box multiple times a day, she’s been checked for UTI and she’s fine). Anyway, he accused me of not caring that she peed on something. Which is not true at all. Again, I clean her litter box multiple times a day.
Also, to put into perspective we moved and he hasn’t had work in 3 months so he’s home. So…. He could clean her box too?

I just… can’t get over being called those names. I don’t even want to be around him… I’m actively avoiding him at the moment. Is there something I can do/say?

Hi, I'm 25M

and my marriage has recently taken a struggle because my wife has decided, all of a sudden, that she wants male friends. Now, I'm okay with that, but to a certain point.

Little introduction, we have a daughter together, which is the joy of our lives and we've been married close to 2 years, 4 years together. We enjoy life together and occasionally away from each other with our friends, different hobbies, etc.

We've had issues before, which we've worked and pulled through, that have brought us closer. However her view of life has recently changed to a more "I want to live more", which includes spending more time 1-on-1 with male friends, in the middle of the night, which I don't really approve of and have talked to her about several times. There have been mishaps from her side with other men around her in our relationships (sexting, naughty photos) in the past, but we've moved on from that since. Because of this and other previous experiences, this has been a pretty sensitive and nerve wracking time for me.

Last night, my wife gave me an ultimatum, either I start approving of her having and hanging out with male friends, or we will get a divorce, because she wants to have freedom in the relationship. While I understand that and give her all the freedom I can give her (parties, trips with girls, etc.) while I take care of our kid, I really disapprove of this kind of behaviour.

By hanging out I mean going drinking or driving & talking sometimes till 2am (02:00) in the morning, not responding to my texts if she is okay, etc. She goes out with men that hit on her frequently and even told her directly they want to have her. Now, she hasn't cheated on me, I know that for sure, but this just feels like a direct F U from her.

I myself am in therapy and have gone through this topic before, but I haven't been able to help myself accept or justify this behaviour. I am by no means perfect, have my own flaws, my self esteem isn't the highest, but I'm no pushover either, I know how to stand my ground, but I'm sensitive when it comes to relationships due to struggles in childhood.

My question to you, people of reddit. Am I wrong for objecting my wife, that I wan't her to stop this kind of behaviour?

Men, when a woman makes more income than you, does this make you feel insecure? Less of a man? Do you tend to resent her for making more? There is a lot of dialogue I've seen about how men resent women when they make more and that it can be emasculating. I don't see a lot of dialogue with men who are with high net worth women, saying that they are proud of their wife or partner and that their income has little negative effect on their relationship. Unless I've missed it or they've chosen to stay silent.

I'm particularly interested in hearing from men who are actually living this experience rather than what people assume men feel.

Today is my (31F) husband’s 33rd birthday. We slept in this morning and woke up around 10am. When we woke up, we just stayed in bed cuddling and talking.

When I woke up, he was already on his phone responding to birthday messages and social media notifications. He rolls over and we are chatting about my belly (I am 7 months pregnant). Not even 15 min into us being awake, he’s looking at me and says “your hair is dirty” after my head wrap slipped. I said “yeah, that’s to be expected. I’ve been saying how I need to wash it.” Then he says, “your mustache is getting a little thick” and at this point, I just get quiet.

He starts rubbing his fingers on my chin and I just know he’s feeling for my chin hairs (that have been a beast to keep up with since pregnancy started).

I say “sheesh. Wake up on your birthday and the first thing you do is criticize, criticize, criticize your wife”

He asks why do I think he’s criticizing me. I just shrug it off and say that maybe that’s not the right term. I immediately start to feel myself withdrawing emotionally so I say I’m getting up to go brush my teeth and he asks what’s changed and he can feel my energy changed.

I don’t want to sulk on his birthday and now I feel like I’ve made the start of his day about me and my feelings. How do I just stop feeling like this and move on? Am I exaggerating my feelings?

Me and my husband have been together for almost 13years . I uncovered that my husband had uncovered a fetish through I'm assuming his porn watching- which to me has changed him. Let me preface this by stating people with fetishes/kinks are not bad people and this isnt Kink Shaming. I just feel that certain fantasies have the power to alter a mind and like anything in life can become an addiction/create a false reality.

Everything starter after we got married started mentioning little comments related to cuckholding.

I was immediately shocked and felt blindsided by his interest in this because being together for over a decade, this was never ever brought up.

The idea of my husband getting off on another man having sex with me while watching made me feel AWFUL. In my mind (again i respect everyone's opinions on what works for them) but for me, i always viewed my husband as my protector, my safe space, and someone who would valued me enough to want me all to himself and cherish.

I would tell him i wasn't interested and he would gaslight me and tell me i was boring. He would say how we've been together for over a decade and this was a fun way to spice things up. He would state it was just fantasy.

For years this went on, and it progressed into asking me about my past boyfriends size, and mentioning there names during sex and getting off on that type of stuff etc.

He would say things like do you want to get bred, so on and so forth, which made me feel awful.

i found his reddit profile and he had hundreds of profiles/or communities he was following. I was absolutely floored by what i saw he was reading about and what he was into.

However, this fantasy of his became a complete obsession of his. It felt like every conversation we started having in regards to intimacy or being intimate in general had mentioning's of these things. We were trying to get pregnant and as you know there's certain windows where ovulation occurs and i struggled with infertilities. It felt as if i couldn't get my husband to even want to have sex with me unless i pretended i was into these things.
I know im at fault for trying to keep the peace in my marriage and try to please my husband while also trying to become a mom and try to avoid the tension in the house if i didn't show interest in this fetish for him.
However, everything changed when i tried to push the envelope with him and ask him if he really wanted to do this like for real do it, and he said yes.

I bated him into trying to find out how far he would actually go-- but i needed to know for my mental health what kind of person he had become. After he said yes, i realized that the Man that i thought i married was gone... I almost filed for divorce because the fantasy was a lie, this was real to him. However we have two small children and i feel horrible to ruin there life, and also feel bad for my husband by ruining his life and filing for divorce so i didnt.

Since then, he stopped mentioning that stuff, however i could tell he wasnt into me in the bedroom- and basically he's bored or not turned on enough.

It started creating tension between us. Months of tension led to him slipping and mentioning a few things during sex related to cuckholding again. I was very uncomfortable and realized how i feel about him has completed changed. I cannot fall back inlove with him because in my mind theres a side to him which has turned me off and changed how i feel. I just feel like overall hes a great dad and a hard working husband and i don't want to ruin his life by divorce, but i feel like he broke something in me that cant be fixed. I'm trying to pretend everything's okay for his sake and make him and my kids happy, but when i look at him, i feel broken inside and know i cant unfeel what i feel. I love him as my best friend, hes been apart of my life for over a decade- but he's not my lover so to speak anymore. i feel completed icked out by him when he tries to touch me, and i feel horrible. But i love him as my best friend.

I appreciate opinions and please be kind, my mental health with all of this is already in a tailspin.

I’ve always been curious about why couples decide to renew their wedding vows.

Is it simply a romantic way to celebrate a milestone and reaffirm their commitment? Or is it sometimes a way of starting fresh after something happened in the marriage, like infidelity or a difficult period?

I realize everyone’s reasons are different, but I’m curious what people actually think.

If you’ve renewed your vows, what was your reason? And if you haven’t, what do you think when you hear that a couple is doing it?

Do you see it as a celebration of a strong marriage or sometimes a sign that the marriage needed a reset?

Just celebrated 10 years of marriage but didn’t seem worthy to do at this point…

Me and the wife always try new things to spice it up and the other night she tried to go in for a rxm job and I kinda pushed her way idk if I should explore it with her cause she’s my wife and I want to make her happy or just tell her no

I need to learn how to talk dirty to my husband in a spicey, flirty way to spice things up. Where can I learn this without paying for a month subscription?

My wife and I fell into a routine where every morning we find ourselves being intimate. Usually starts with that hour before waking up cuddling, then a good 15 mins making use of that morning wood instead of hitting snooze.

I'm currently away for a bit so waking up alone, and realizing how much better it is to start the day with some positive love and affection and getting the body moving a bit instead of repeatedly hitting snooze. It's not just the sex, but I feels like it sets you up to have a better day, less groggy, more energetic, more loved, etc. probably because you're focused on loving your spouse first thing in the morning instead of work?

Anyone else finding this works for them?

I am curious peoples thoughts on this. I have 1 photo of my wife in her wedding dress in my desk in my cubicle. I never see photos of anyone else’s spouses really. Is it considered frowned upon? Thanks

Just as the title says.

For the husbands out there, when did you realize that your wife is the love of your life, is it before or after you got married?

Last night, I asked my husband (34M) if I (31F) am the love of his life. It’s a question that has been floating in my mind for a while just out of curiosity. His answer was that he hasn’t thought about it and explained that there are people out there who have only considered/realized that their wife (or husband) is the love of their life in the following years after getting married. To him, it’s a work in progress.

I felt hurt because to me, he’s the love of my life and that is why I married him. But, of course, we are all different. I just haven’t encountered anyone who has this perspective (i.e. realizing your wife/husband is the love of your life later in marriage). The most common situation that I have encountered is that couples consider each other as the love of their lives that’s why they marry each other.

So, I’m just wondering anyone could share their own experience and/or perspective about this. Thank you!