I have been struggling a lot with my mental health as of recently. I'm struggling to find peace and enjoyment in myself by myself not around others.

I'm very lonely. I have about two friends I talk to daily, not even in person. I go to a school I'm not supposed to be at so I don't know anybody and I lost connection with my in real life friends. it's been weighing on my heart a lot recently that I am lonely.

I feel like I'm falling behind as well. I try to stay active, practice a new skill every month, eat clean, socialize, sleep enough, and stay disciplined, but the second it falters I get such a huge cloud of dread around me. I'm so miserable.

I can't go back to therapy so all I have are my meds, my small group of people, and myself. I don't know what to do. I am so lost and hurt. I feel like everyone is judging me and they think that I'm so far behind in life.

I've always been interested in neuroscience so I've tried multiple tactics to boost mood based on studies but it doesn't work. none of it does.

I take my anxiety/sleeping medicine a lot more frequently now. I'd rather be asleep than awake because everything is so god awful when I'm awake. I used to only take the medicine a few times a week after stressful days to help me wind down and I would take some before I left the house sometimes at a lighter dose so I wouldn't freak out because of being in public but I take it for sleep nearly every day now. I'm trying to not get dependant on it but it is very difficult not to because of how nice it feels to just let me brain rest.

I'm also very unattractive to my standards so it makes me think I need to try harder. lose the weight and look prettier before I make more friends. and so many people around me assure me that I'm beautiful, but I can't bring myself to see it.

I'm worried that I'll never be able to get to my full potential because of so many set backs out of my control.

I want to be a surgeon. I'm so smart and I want to help people, but every time I think of future me I just don't see myself where I want to be and I start to panic and spiral. I try really hard to calm myself down in these moments but what's the point in even trying anything if I don't end up where I want to be?

I look down on myself so often it's nearly impossible to catch me talking nicely about myself anymore. when I'm around other people I try to stay happy and mask what's really happening because I hate burdening people with my issues.

my favorite games are even becoming so boring to me I'd rather sit an stare at a wall because that'd be more entertaining than the game I was obsessed with not even three weeks ago.

sometime I get so jealous of people and their lives I cry for upwards of an hour. it just feels like something is ripping at my throat and heart.

and these headaches I've been getting jesus fucking christ. they're right at the front between my eyebrows and goes up into a tree pattern with branches. sound makes it worse so I have to turn off my devices and just sulk.

I have tried weed a few times. all very spaced apart instances, but it got me very calm. like so calm I felt like everything was great. I have never experienced my brain being so so so quiet all at once. it was so peaceful. I don't plan on using weed again anytime soon. I've seen how it can ruin someone's life and I'm not risking it. though it's very wonderful, I think I'd rather keep it very spaced out between uses.

I've been through a lot of shit and I survived, barely, but I did it. so maybe with the right words of encouragement and enough discipline I can fight through this and win.

everything is very hard for me right now though and I'm not sure what my next steps should be. I'm so miserable and always asleep. I sleep thirteen hours a day if I can at this point. I'm going to try and ween off of so much sleep soon. it's making me feel worse I think.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have a plan in place or anything. I'm just lost (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

I feel like a child throwing a tantrum because “I wanna I wanna I wanna”, but is it too selfish and immature to ask for affection? Sometimes life feels like that meme where someone tries to turn all three sliders on but only two can be on at a time and as soon as they try the third turns off.
Family, friends or a couple, choose two. Whenever I feel I’ve struck a balance between all three something happens, a friend group that blows itself to pieces, another almost-divorspce or just me getting on my own way. I know I sound ungrateful because there’s people with not a single one of the three, let alone two, but does wanting something make me a bad person?
What frustrates me the most isn’t that this is an impossible scenario but rather something I’ve almost been able to reach more than once but as I said before, shit happens.
Was Icarus always meant to either fly to close to the sun or the sea? Why can’t I be Dedalus for at least a moment? I’ve learnt my lesson long ago, why can’t I just find balance? Or at least feel at ease for once?

So, fellas, I'm from a small Tier-2 town in Odisha, and I was part of a small Bengali temple group.

(15M)

Recently, my dad has been facing multiple serious, life-threatening health problems, which have already left me mentally disturbed. Naturally, I wasn't in a position to dedicate much of my time to seva or volunteering.

I also have four cousins who knew about my family's situation. Despite that, my cousin sister accused me of making bahana(excuses) for every single problem I faced.

She even questioned my integrity because I attended an MUN on a Sunday and was available online or active at other times, but wasn't available during seva. While questioning my availability itself might have been understandable, she went a step further and removed me from the social media group without informing me.

I didn't know how to respond, so I simply explained my situation to everyone. Instead of understanding my circumstances, I felt roasted and disrespected by her. She said, "If I could, I would've removed you directly. I don't need your ideas I need physical work. You always make excuses."

I response, I said that if I was becoming a burden to the group, I'd simply leave. And that's exactly what I did.

A day later, my eldest cousin added me back to the group, but I didn't even receive a notification about it. I was already feeling disrespected, so I stayed in the group for only four or five minutes before leaving again, especially because nobody had bothered to explain anything to me.

Yesterday, my brother told me that I was being too egoistic and even threatened to beat me. However, I don't consider the threat itself to be the main issue here. What really messed me up was that he forced me to apologise to his sister, even though I felt that the whole problem hadn't even started because of me.nor THE MATTER OF FACT I CARRIED A SINGLE STRAINE EGO

I don't really know how to write this, but I guess I just need to get it out somewhere.

I'm 25, from India, and lately it feels like everything in my life is falling apart at once.

My parents' relationship is a mess, there's constant fighting at home, and now my dad has apparently considered throwing me out. I don't have much money of my own, I'm financially dependent on my family, and I honestly have no idea what I'd do if I suddenly had nowhere to go.

My education hasn't gone the way I planned either. I started engineering, struggled and dropped out, then went back to college to study History. I'm now in the fourth year of my degree, but I still have no clear idea what I'm going to do afterwards. I'm scared of graduating and finding myself with no decent job, no financial independence and no real direction.

Meanwhile, it feels like everyone around me is moving forward. People I went to school with are working, earning, pursuing their ambitions and building their lives. I'm still trying to figure out how to get through my days without feeling like a complete failure.

I've become so isolated that even replying to people who reach out to me feels difficult. I have friends I could probably talk to, but I've withdrawn from them so much that I don't know how to explain what's going on anymore. I spend a lot of time at home, but home doesn't feel peaceful either. Going out and doing things costs money I barely have.

I'm tired. Not just physically, but in that deeper way where even thinking about the future feels exhausting. I've been having suicidal thoughts, and there are days when I genuinely struggle to see a reason to keep going. I'm not saying this for attention. I'm saying it because I don't know how to carry all of this by myself anymore.

I know people have problems far worse than mine, but that doesn't make what I'm experiencing any easier to deal with. I'm tired of comparing myself to others, tired of feeling like a disappointment, and tired of pretending that I have some plan when I really don't.

I don't need someone to tell me to work harder, become successful, find my passion or remember that I'm still young. I hear enough of that already.
I just want to hear from someone who has been in a really dark place and somehow found their way through it. Maybe your circumstances didn't magically improve. Maybe you started with nothing. Maybe you spent years feeling lost before things finally changed, even a little.

Tell me about it. Tell me what helped you hold on when you couldn't imagine a future you'd actually want to live in. Tell me about something small that made life feel bearable again.

I don't expect a stranger on the internet to fix my life. I think I just need to be reminded that a terrible period of life doesn't necessarily have to be the whole story, and that people can find some stability, connection or peace even after years of struggling.

If you've read this far, thank you. Even that means something right now.

So in the past one of my former friends kept on sending me music that they know I do not like. They will also pressured me to listen to that same music.

I just failed my skills test for driving again and I just feel stupid cause this time my nerves got to me and made me do a dumb mistake that instantly failed me. I feel like I’m just a burden to everyone around me now cause I still have to rely on them to drive me to places and losing another 50$ isn’t that fun either