I don't really know how to write this, but I guess I just need to get it out somewhere.

I'm 25, from India, and lately it feels like everything in my life is falling apart at once.

My parents' relationship is a mess, there's constant fighting at home, and now my dad has apparently considered throwing me out. I don't have much money of my own, I'm financially dependent on my family, and I honestly have no idea what I'd do if I suddenly had nowhere to go.

My education hasn't gone the way I planned either. I started engineering, struggled and dropped out, then went back to college to study History. I'm now in the fourth year of my degree, but I still have no clear idea what I'm going to do afterwards. I'm scared of graduating and finding myself with no decent job, no financial independence and no real direction.

Meanwhile, it feels like everyone around me is moving forward. People I went to school with are working, earning, pursuing their ambitions and building their lives. I'm still trying to figure out how to get through my days without feeling like a complete failure.

I've become so isolated that even replying to people who reach out to me feels difficult. I have friends I could probably talk to, but I've withdrawn from them so much that I don't know how to explain what's going on anymore. I spend a lot of time at home, but home doesn't feel peaceful either. Going out and doing things costs money I barely have.

I'm tired. Not just physically, but in that deeper way where even thinking about the future feels exhausting. I've been having suicidal thoughts, and there are days when I genuinely struggle to see a reason to keep going. I'm not saying this for attention. I'm saying it because I don't know how to carry all of this by myself anymore.

I know people have problems far worse than mine, but that doesn't make what I'm experiencing any easier to deal with. I'm tired of comparing myself to others, tired of feeling like a disappointment, and tired of pretending that I have some plan when I really don't.

I don't need someone to tell me to work harder, become successful, find my passion or remember that I'm still young. I hear enough of that already.
I just want to hear from someone who has been in a really dark place and somehow found their way through it. Maybe your circumstances didn't magically improve. Maybe you started with nothing. Maybe you spent years feeling lost before things finally changed, even a little.

Tell me about it. Tell me what helped you hold on when you couldn't imagine a future you'd actually want to live in. Tell me about something small that made life feel bearable again.

I don't expect a stranger on the internet to fix my life. I think I just need to be reminded that a terrible period of life doesn't necessarily have to be the whole story, and that people can find some stability, connection or peace even after years of struggling.

If you've read this far, thank you. Even that means something right now.

I have been struggling a lot with my mental health as of recently. I'm struggling to find peace and enjoyment in myself by myself not around others.

I'm very lonely. I have about two friends I talk to daily, not even in person. I go to a school I'm not supposed to be at so I don't know anybody and I lost connection with my in real life friends. it's been weighing on my heart a lot recently that I am lonely.

I feel like I'm falling behind as well. I try to stay active, practice a new skill every month, eat clean, socialize, sleep enough, and stay disciplined, but the second it falters I get such a huge cloud of dread around me. I'm so miserable.

I can't go back to therapy so all I have are my meds, my small group of people, and myself. I don't know what to do. I am so lost and hurt. I feel like everyone is judging me and they think that I'm so far behind in life.

I've always been interested in neuroscience so I've tried multiple tactics to boost mood based on studies but it doesn't work. none of it does.

I take my anxiety/sleeping medicine a lot more frequently now. I'd rather be asleep than awake because everything is so god awful when I'm awake. I used to only take the medicine a few times a week after stressful days to help me wind down and I would take some before I left the house sometimes at a lighter dose so I wouldn't freak out because of being in public but I take it for sleep nearly every day now. I'm trying to not get dependant on it but it is very difficult not to because of how nice it feels to just let me brain rest.

I'm also very unattractive to my standards so it makes me think I need to try harder. lose the weight and look prettier before I make more friends. and so many people around me assure me that I'm beautiful, but I can't bring myself to see it.

I'm worried that I'll never be able to get to my full potential because of so many set backs out of my control.

I want to be a surgeon. I'm so smart and I want to help people, but every time I think of future me I just don't see myself where I want to be and I start to panic and spiral. I try really hard to calm myself down in these moments but what's the point in even trying anything if I don't end up where I want to be?

I look down on myself so often it's nearly impossible to catch me talking nicely about myself anymore. when I'm around other people I try to stay happy and mask what's really happening because I hate burdening people with my issues.

my favorite games are even becoming so boring to me I'd rather sit an stare at a wall because that'd be more entertaining than the game I was obsessed with not even three weeks ago.

sometime I get so jealous of people and their lives I cry for upwards of an hour. it just feels like something is ripping at my throat and heart.

and these headaches I've been getting jesus fucking christ. they're right at the front between my eyebrows and goes up into a tree pattern with branches. sound makes it worse so I have to turn off my devices and just sulk.

I have tried weed a few times. all very spaced apart instances, but it got me very calm. like so calm I felt like everything was great. I have never experienced my brain being so so so quiet all at once. it was so peaceful. I don't plan on using weed again anytime soon. I've seen how it can ruin someone's life and I'm not risking it. though it's very wonderful, I think I'd rather keep it very spaced out between uses.

I've been through a lot of shit and I survived, barely, but I did it. so maybe with the right words of encouragement and enough discipline I can fight through this and win.

everything is very hard for me right now though and I'm not sure what my next steps should be. I'm so miserable and always asleep. I sleep thirteen hours a day if I can at this point. I'm going to try and ween off of so much sleep soon. it's making me feel worse I think.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have a plan in place or anything. I'm just lost (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

I feel like a child throwing a tantrum because “I wanna I wanna I wanna”, but is it too selfish and immature to ask for affection? Sometimes life feels like that meme where someone tries to turn all three sliders on but only two can be on at a time and as soon as they try the third turns off.
Family, friends or a couple, choose two. Whenever I feel I’ve struck a balance between all three something happens, a friend group that blows itself to pieces, another almost-divorspce or just me getting on my own way. I know I sound ungrateful because there’s people with not a single one of the three, let alone two, but does wanting something make me a bad person?
What frustrates me the most isn’t that this is an impossible scenario but rather something I’ve almost been able to reach more than once but as I said before, shit happens.
Was Icarus always meant to either fly to close to the sun or the sea? Why can’t I be Dedalus for at least a moment? I’ve learnt my lesson long ago, why can’t I just find balance? Or at least feel at ease for once?

So in the past one of my former friends kept on sending me music that they know I do not like. They will also pressured me to listen to that same music.

So, fellas, I'm from a small Tier-2 town in Odisha, and I was part of a small Bengali temple group.

(15M)

Recently, my dad has been facing multiple serious, life-threatening health problems, which have already left me mentally disturbed. Naturally, I wasn't in a position to dedicate much of my time to seva or volunteering.

I also have four cousins who knew about my family's situation. Despite that, my cousin sister accused me of making bahana(excuses) for every single problem I faced.

She even questioned my integrity because I attended an MUN on a Sunday and was available online or active at other times, but wasn't available during seva. While questioning my availability itself might have been understandable, she went a step further and removed me from the social media group without informing me.

I didn't know how to respond, so I simply explained my situation to everyone. Instead of understanding my circumstances, I felt roasted and disrespected by her. She said, "If I could, I would've removed you directly. I don't need your ideas I need physical work. You always make excuses."

I response, I said that if I was becoming a burden to the group, I'd simply leave. And that's exactly what I did.

A day later, my eldest cousin added me back to the group, but I didn't even receive a notification about it. I was already feeling disrespected, so I stayed in the group for only four or five minutes before leaving again, especially because nobody had bothered to explain anything to me.

Yesterday, my brother told me that I was being too egoistic and even threatened to beat me. However, I don't consider the threat itself to be the main issue here. What really messed me up was that he forced me to apologise to his sister, even though I felt that the whole problem hadn't even started because of me.nor THE MATTER OF FACT I CARRIED A SINGLE STRAINE EGO

I just failed my skills test for driving again and I just feel stupid cause this time my nerves got to me and made me do a dumb mistake that instantly failed me. I feel like I’m just a burden to everyone around me now cause I still have to rely on them to drive me to places and losing another 50$ isn’t that fun either

36M autistic, I turn 37 exactly one week from now on Saturday the 24th. This year has been the worst year of my whole life, and the stress and depression has been unbearable.

I am not sure what to do. Maybe just want to talk. I feel like not wanting this birthday and do not want to live through what is likely to be the worst birthday of my life.

Life is genuinely so hard. I’m so tired of people telling me things will get better because when? I’m so, so exhausted. I’m tired of living in this constant cycle of pain, loneliness and heartbreak. Everyone leaves me. I have absolutely no one, and I genuinely feel like no one likes me. No matter how hard I try, I always end up alone. People say the most horrible things about me, to the point where sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house. I constantly question what’s so wrong with me and why I’m never good enough for anyone. I’m tired of crying, overthinking and feeling this constant heaviness in my chest. I just want to feel loved and wanted for once. If it wasn’t for my faith, God knows where I’d be right now. I’m genuinely so tired of everything. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I guess I just want someone to hear me because I have nobody.

Nothing make sense now-a-days. Nothing makes me happy Nothing makes me Sad. Working Feel alot of work and Then When I am in bed I spend 2 days straight in bed just getting out for breakfast, dinner and bathroom breaks and then not working feels alot. I don't know what I am doing to my life.

I'm going through a weird mix of sweet and sour feelings right now, and I could use some outside perspective.

I'm 22, she's 24, and she's the first person I've dated where I've started questioning whether being a good person and being compatible with someone are two completely different things.

A little background: I've already finished college, and I'm currently applying to graduate school. I'm doing a research internship, and I spend a lot of my free time reading, watching old movies, studying Latin for fun, and generally being a bit of a nerd. I'm not particularly exciting, and I'd probably describe myself as a pretty boring, consistent person. I like intellectual conversations, learning things, and being curious about the world.

She's still in university, has BPD, and is planning to spend three months in the US soon. I live in Latin America, so that's going to be another challenge for us. I also have a vasectomy and don't plan on getting married anytime soon. We've talked about this, and while she says she doesn't want children either, she does want to get married. I don't, at least not in the foreseeable future. So, realistically, I suspect we might have an expiration date, even if neither of us wants to acknowledge it yet.

But the biggest issue isn't the distance or even our different plans for the future. It's our conversations.

I feel like most of our conversations revolve around her, her feelings, her experiences, and how she's dealing with things. I don't mind being there for my partner, but she rarely asks me questions about myself, my work, my interests, or even how I think about things. I genuinely can't remember another person I've dated who seemed so uninterested in asking questions about me.

And I don't mean that she has to be interested in my research specifically. I mean that feeling of someone being curious about your inner world. Asking why you think the way you do, what you care about, what you want to accomplish, or what you find interesting about something.

Our intellectual conversations are almost nonexistent. We mostly talk about gossip and everyday drama, and honestly, I'm getting tired of it. We have great sex, so maybe that's part of why the relationship works as well as it does. We have physical chemistry, she's pretty, and there are sweet moments. But outside of that, I'm struggling to identify what makes me feel deeply connected to her.

Our interests and worldviews are also pretty different. She enjoys Fast & Furious, Bad Bunny, reggaeton, astrology, and manifestation. I enjoy some pretty different things. I'm not saying her interests are inferior or that mine make me smarter than her. People can enjoy whatever they want. But I think I'm realizing that I want a partner with whom I can share more of my intellectual interests and have conversations that make me think.

I want to feel that excitement of discovering how someone's mind works, hearing their perspective, and wanting to keep talking to them for hours. I want to admire the way my partner thinks, not just find them attractive or enjoy spending time with them.

And I don't really feel that with her.

Part of me feels horrible even writing this. I know that enjoying different things doesn't make someone less intelligent, and I don't want to become the kind of person who thinks having a good GPA, doing research, or applying to prestigious graduate schools makes me inherently better than someone else. But another part of me wonders whether I've started realizing that I need a different kind of compatibility than I initially thought.

I'm working in research with a Harvard professor, applying to graduate school, and pursuing things that genuinely excite me. I want to be able to share that part of my life with someone. I don't need a partner with the same résumé or career ambitions, but I do want someone who is curious about what I do and has a rich inner world of her own that I can explore, too.

I also catch myself thinking that I could probably find someone I'm more intellectually compatible with. And then I feel awful, because that sounds arrogant and dismissive, especially when she's not a bad person. She's perfectly fine in many ways. She's attractive, we have chemistry, and I don't want to reduce her to the things we don't have in common.

Her BPD also means that I sometimes worry about how a breakup would affect her, although I know I can't make relationship decisions solely around that fear.

I think the uncomfortable truth might be that she's a good-looking person I enjoy having sex with, but I'm not sure I actually enjoy talking to her enough to build a life together. And since we already have some pretty significant differences regarding marriage and our future, I don't know whether I'm just delaying the inevitable.

Has anyone experienced this? How do you distinguish between being unnecessarily judgmental and recognizing that someone simply isn't compatible with you? Am I expecting too much from a relationship, or am I realizing that physical chemistry and affection aren't enough for me?

Everything is so wrong