Granted, I'm 41, but I feel like what I need is wisdom, not my thoughts.
I'm struggling with a decision that has shaken my sense of self. Ruminating thoughts, anxiety, and regret. My husband and I recently walked away from a beautiful home in a wonderful neighborhood with an incredible interest rate. It was an amazing financial opportunity and something we'd worked toward for years. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something did not align and our marriage felt precarious; I convinced my spouse to walk away, even though he wanted the house. Something wild happened. Almost overnight, our marriage transformed. Years of resentment were erased, and a deeper capacity for love emerged; it was as if our decision allowed me to finally surrender and feel safe. We have a young daughter, and our family feels genuinely happier and more connected. Yet I'm consumed by regret over the house. I've always been ambitious and someone who accomplishes my goals. Walking away from homeownership feels like a betrayal of who I am. I'm terrified we've missed an opportunity we may never get again, and that I've financially sabotaged our future. My spouse feels like it was a great opportunity but that there will be another one. I'm also navigating perimenopause and anxiety, which makes it difficult to trust my own judgment. The irony is that I finally have the loving marriage I've wanted for years, but I'm struggling to enjoy it, or anything, because I'm obsessing over what we gave up. It's done, but I don't understand it.
For those with life experience?
Have you ever walked away from a major opportunity? Did time change your perspective?
And how do you stop fearing that your best opportunities are behind you? Or is my current perspective more damaging than the actual decision?
I'd really appreciate any nugget of wisdom or insight.

TL;DR: At 41, I walked away from an incredible homebuying opportunity because I doubted my marriage. Unexpectedly, that decision transformed our relationship and brought our family closer than ever. But instead of enjoying it, I'm consumed by regret and fear that I've sabotaged our financial future and was short-sighted. As an ambitious, goal-oriented person navigating anxiety and perimenopause, I'm struggling to trust my judgment. I'm looking for wisdom on how to move forward and any insight.

I want you to imagine that your life has passed, and now you’re on your deathbed
how would you see your past life?
based on this, answer the main question: If you only had a short time to live, what would you do? would you really be more daring in your life? or would you continue doing what you’re doing now?

All my friends just want to talk about memes, video games, or school. Sure, we talk about life issues sometimes, but they usually end up shrugging off deeper questions. Also, nobody seems to understand nuance or the idea of personal growth anymore; someone can hold contradictory emotions and people can eventually change themselves. They aren't their past. I just want someone who will look at the world, acknowledging its imperfectness, yet choosing to face it head on anyways.

27 F works at a pizzeria. He’s 48 m and what’s weird is he would playfully flirt with me most days, I thought he was a cool older guy but I know he wasn’t serious. All play, however there’s been occasions where he’ll become randomly rude to me.. I’ve moved past it those few occasions because a few moments later he’d be fine like he just wasn’t being weird.. however, a few days ago he name called me and I confronted him when the few other times I never did… I let the anger go in my heart and I no longer talk to him unless it’s work related. I have no hard feelings towards him but it seems like he does.. when I talk to him about an oder he won’t look at me, he’ll have an attitude when I walk by his area and what blows my mind is HE STARTED THIS…. I’m not even mad anymore and he called me a name but he’s mad????? He continues to do passive aggressive things towards me and i ended up wrapping my day up early today but I felt myself becoming angry and I didn’t want to react emotionally.. anyone deal with anything similar and know why this could be happening? I truly don’t think it’s because he genuinely liked me.. it feels like something else idk.. also like to mention I am a manager so there’s really no higher up to go to besides my boss. I talked to my boss about this already and my boss said when your manager things like this happen and you’ll be alone. Managers don’t have “friends”… I agree to some extent but also don’t think I should be bullied and no one’s correcting the behavior…. Looking for advice on how I should handle this so I’m at peace.

Hi I always wonder that if certain people are born with absolute luck. I don’t feel jealous but when I see others thriving in friendships, relationships and other things, I feel as if I wasn’t meant for those. I have struggled with severe anxiety since childhood and even depression was intense but now it’s better. But I try to put in efforts to make friends, talking stages and it seems like nothing actually happens. It’s like everyone has something I am missing. I mean I try to love myself more everyday but at the end of the day we are humans and need a close person who can get us. I don’t know if this is because I feel very deeply and sensitive or I was actually not born with any good luck.

Life has been downhill since 2020 and my optimism is running thin. I'm 40 now. I was 33 in 2020. I feel like I was never able to live my 30s. I've just been on survival mode the whole time. It's just been setback after setback since 2020. I wish I could rewind time. My mental state is not the same. My financial state is not the same. My whole life is not the same. I can't believe it went from "2 weeks to flatten the curve" but then the world never really went back to normal (at least my world). And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I fear I will get laid off soon because of AI. I just can't catch a break it seems. I miss 2019. I miss 2018. I miss 2017. And so on.. Didn't know how good I had it.

Hi everyone,

I have been feeling a bit miserable lately, I live in the UK and I would like to go back to Italy which is my original country. I am working here as a physio and the recognition process seems to be very long and complicated. I also have a boyfriend here and he’s from the UK, so if I decide to move back our relationship would inevitably end.

Any suggestions on what to do?

I was seriously contemplating this, this past week. Many people seem to think its Stoicism, I am more of a pragmatic nihilist myself. I am simply not calm enough to be a stoic 😝. I was curious to know what many of you think is the most suitable considering the challenges of our times? I also integrate buddhism, christianity and at time epicuruan elements. I definitely think all have some valid basis, but ofcourse one must try and see which is perhaps the most suitable for human beings collectively? Would love to know your thoughts, thank you!

I had a bad childhood and would troll and take my anger out on people when I was younger. Just haunts me you know? Like why did I say or do those things? Often feel like karma is going to get me back if it already hasn’t.

I’m turning 27 and I’ve never had a stable job. I landed one this year and the fear of committing to it weighs over me. I’m from Australia so we’re very far from all the countries people choose to live in. I spent my 20s in unhealthy relationships, bouncing from job to job, undiagnosed and unmedicated adhd (until recently) and dealing with mental health issues, combined with overall low self worth. I’m in a healthy relationship now with my boyfriend who I absolutely adore and means the world to me but I keep thinking about how I haven’t been able to live overseas like I would have wanted to. I hear alot of people saying it’s something you should do and gain life experience while others say to build your career etc. I’m in the weird age where I feel like it’s time to start taking life seriously since where I’m from (Australia) the cost of living crisis is cooked. I know my boyfriend wants to buy a property together before things get more expensive but I’m afraid I’ll be locked in to something and won’t be able to be flexible. I don’t know how to navigate this time in my life. My mind constantly goes from: move out of your parents house where the trauma happened, see how you think and where your head is at when you’ve left and have your own space to just travel now while you’re young with no responsibilities

I've [ 20f ] been at home 24/7 ever since my cancer has worsened and I feel so anxious and stressed everyday without rest.

Two weeks ago I found a Karaoke bar that I really liked and wanted to go visit after feeling horribly lonely singing on my own everytime I go karaoke. But then as I planned to go today, all I felt was dread and resistance to even step outside or even get ready. My lunar cycle has just started as well, with today the first day ; lasting for the usual five days.

Even now I feel the urge to delay, delay, delay. To wait till the end of the month to even try going outside at all. Or to stay indoors and not even try.

I thought I no longer had these "Hikikomori" habits but it seems that they're back with full force. . .

Do I even try ?

It seems I don't know anymore.

- Leo

​

Sometimes I feel like life is moving so fast, and I'm still trying to understand what I'm doing with mine. There are so many things to think about, decisions to make, and goals to reach, but not everything becomes clear right away.

I guess growing up means learning things one step at a time, even when you don't have everything figured out yet.

For those who are also figuring life out, how do you deal with the uncertainty about the future?

The older I get, the more I realize that some of the things people want most have nothing to do with money.
Peace of mind, genuine friendships, good health, time with loved ones, and the ability to sleep without worrying about tomorrow.
If you could have more of one thing in your life right now, what would it be?

I think most people experience this dread and hope i feel right now when leaving their hometown. I know the ins and outs of this small city and next summer I’ll finally be leaving it. i’m moving to amsterdam next summer which is 3x bigger than my current city.

I’ve grownup here my entire life, my family and friends life here. I have very fond memories here but at the same time i have alot of memories and people i want to leave behind, and never see, hear or speak of again.

I’m eager to leave this horrible city behind and leave those horrible people with it. I want to start fresh with new people and a new environment. I’m moving in with a close friend who lives in Amsterdam so i wont be completely alone in a new city, luckily.

But it feels bittersweet to hate a city i have spend my whole childhood in.

I was just thinking back on how I broke up with my ex just before we got our home and it was immensely heart wrenching at least for me to lose it and what could have been our future, but looking back now, it was a blessing in disguise as I realise that we weren't ready, financially and emotionally, but also that personally, I wanted to escape my own home and used my ex as a means to an end...

So I was just curious as to what were some things for you that was painful or didn't make sense back then, but retrospectively, was a blessing in disguise...?

Just like the title says. I think my girlfriend is the best thing that has happened to me in awhile. I’m 25 and living in my hometown. Three years ago my ex and I split after a long time. I had been with her since I was 18 and it was scary, sad and disheartening to be single again after thinking she was it. I had a shitty job at a motorcycle shop that I threw myself into it after the break up. I spent a long time hating myself and my situation. Devolving more and more into drugs and alcohol. I found a life full of anger and depression. I got into fights constantly, didn’t pay my bills or give a shit about my job. I was a 24 year old pothead who just worked for a paycheck. I’d lost all interest in my old hobbies and felt like I just didn’t care about anything. I had just accepted my situation. I found myself getting more comfortable being single and went on a couple dates with no luck. After a while I had found some peace and acceptance. I felt alright. Not okay but fine. Then one day during July I met my now girlfriend. I didn’t find her stunning or “gorgeous” at first. Then we started talking and I fell for her more and more. Now a year later my life is completely different. I have a job I actually enjoy with an HVAC company and I’m going to school next year to join the seafarers international union. Working on ships all over the world. None of it would have happened without her. She has shown me how wrong I looked at life. That if you have patience and faith in yourself you will see the benefits. To slow down and appreciate the present is to be in the present. Even if it doesn’t work out, the wisdom and kindness she has shown me will be with me forever. I hope to never screw it up. If you read this know that you are loved even if you don’t feel it. Love the people around you. You never know what will walk around the corner

I was just wondering about this today. I think everyone has at least one thing in their life they wish they could change, even if they never talk about it.
Maybe it’s a decision you made, someone you lost, an opportunity you missed, or something you did that you wish you could take back.
Have you ever had a moment where you thought, “If only I had done things differently”?
I’m curious to hear your stories. What do you regret the most in your life? And does it still bother you, or have you made peace with it?
Let’s talk about it. :)

Whenever I (16m) am home I am constantly bored and I cannot focus at all. When I try to do something, I lose focus after a few minutes and get distracted by something. I also start doing other things randomly, such as aimlessly walking back and forth, throwing and catching random small objects, or brushing my teeth. Whenever I try to do my hobbies (gaming, writing, and drawing) I usually cannot focus for long and I begin to do something. I will do one, lose focus, start another, and then lose focus. I used to focus okay with music, but now listening to music whilst doing something just distracts me even more.

I barely talk to my parents, and they usually don’t seem to want to talk to me. If they do, I always feel like they’re talking to me like I’m stupid or I have done something wrong. I don’t know if they do this deliberately. I have learnt from the past that I shouldn’t talk to them about my issues or anything, even though I thought they would understand since they have both experienced their own hardships.

No one I know lives anywhere near me - old school friends, other family members, college friends - and I barely talk to them. I still think about a guy I used to have a crush on a while ago, but we haven’t spoken for a long time. I thought I moved on. I spend much of my time waiting for someone to message me. There are no interesting places to me. There’s only a few shops and that’s it. I want to go for walks so I can explore the area and get some proper exercise, but I know my parents won’t let me.

Until I find another job, I only leave the house to go to college, which is three days a week. I can actually speak to others and be more focused.

I briefly saw a counsellor earlier in the year due to other issues, but counselling didn’t help me. I have no known mental health disorders or illnesses, and I don’t really want a diagnosis at this age and I don’t want medication. I try to eat healthily and get good sleep, but there isn’t much healthy food in my house and I hate sleeping.

So I was wondering what humans really want affection , love , career , growth ? is it really about just loving thyself ?? Which might be correct but the reality is amongst all this success & achievements no matter how big or small it is , one wants there loved ones to witness it . I'll explain it with an example when I was a kid I used to make my Amma (grandmother) listen my song recordings , she use to listen them thoroughly , appreciate me & give her inputs how I can make it better that's all that mattered her loving my voice while I sing beside her and now when I look back its one of the those precious memories of us that I will cherish throughout my life. So no matter what happens in life we have to keep going not only for us but for our loved ones.

I don't know how many people will read this or if it even gets to those people who might help me navigate this tough situation that I am in rn. I don't even want to structure my thoughts and words. I'll just jot down everything on my mind.

When I was 8 or 9 my mom left the country to work abroad and I was with my dad for couple of months. My dad was having affair with another woman and when I was with him he never really cared about me. He left me with some pennues to eat for the whole day and I was the only one in this rented few rooms. I spent many days without seeing him and one day he decided to take me to my relatives in a village where I was to supposed to spend few years. They loved me like I was their own kid and never made me feel unwanted, for which I will always be thankful till my last breath. After 2 years my mom returned and things went exactly like anyone would expect. After that things have gone very ugly. My dad again left me to an organisation where I spent my entire teenage without my mom and dad. I never resented anyone but rather I was always positive and dedicated my time to make everything right. I always had the highest rank in my class for which I was rewarded with some opportunities. But it's been few years my mom has started drinking and she's been admitted to hospital many times and I can sense the money is slowly draining and I have nothing to provide. I was preparing for an exam and now my whole focus is ruined I can't sleep properly and I'm always anxious about what could happen next. I thought I had time and I'll take my time study well and make our life better but now everything seems to fade away slowly.

After all the time I put on making my life better seems like it's been burnt to dust. I am loosing all my hopes and feel like giving up. If you see me in person no one would think I am suffering this much within. From outside I seem like someone who's sorted but I know what mountain I carry. I don't know what to do in this situation and whom to ask for help and suggestions.

I don't even know why I'm here and what I'm doing with this long text. I might even delete this thing later. If anyone could help me with anything please reach out. Even some motivation would be a great help.

I just read the rule of this random community I picked and I don't think they'll push this. I don't even know how I unselect the community so just posting it. :)

So, this girl and I have been friends since the beginning of high school. We first met at a camp organized by our school, but we rarely got to see each other afterward because we studied in different parts of the school. Later, when I shifted to the main school, COVID happened, and eventually, we both went to different colleges and got busy with our own lives.

I got into college first, while she took a gap year to figure out her interests. During that time, she had more time for me, but I got caught up in my new life, making friends and doing my own thing. Slowly, our friendship faded, and honestly, I think a lot of it was my fault. I'm terrible at maintaining long-distance friendships, and I didn't put in the effort I should have.

We haven't spoken in about three years now.

Recently, since I've graduated from college, I've been feeling really nostalgic about everything. I've found myself wanting to reconnect with people from different phases of my life, even people I had huge falling-outs with during college. It's made me think about old friendships that I never really wanted to lose but somehow let slip away.

Here's where the situation gets a little complicated. Back in our pre-college days, we used to fangirl over the same band, and they're finally coming to our country! She's going to the concert, and I've been thinking about reaching out to ask if we could go together.

The thing is, she's still in college, has her own big friend group, and has a boyfriend. They all seem to enjoy the same kind of music, so I'm pretty sure they'll be going to the concert together. Meanwhile, I don't really have anyone in my current circle who listens to this band, so going with someone who shares that excitement would be nice.

But beyond the concert, I think a part of me genuinely wants to reconnect with her. We used to share something that I still look back on fondly, and this feels like a natural opportunity to reach out.

At the same time, I'm worried about how awkward it might be. We haven't spoken in three years, and I was the one who let the friendship fade in the first place. I feel a little embarrassed about suddenly popping back into her life, especially when she has her own people now. I also don't want to make her feel like I'm intruding on plans she's already made with her friends or putting her in an uncomfortable position.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this or if reaching out would actually be a little weird given how much time has passed.

Has anyone reconnected with an old friend after years of no contact? How did you approach it, and how did it go? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences, especially if you were the one who let the friendship fade in the first place.

We complain about over stimulation yet im sitting most days watching something on tv and on my ohone at the same time. Yes i engage with each separately too but being over stinulated seems to be the norm. Fml

Here's a short intro about me - I'm a Homeschooler and ive been homeschooling for about 4 years. the reason i homeschooled was because i play competitive chess. I travelled for tournaments and i'm a pretty strong chess player. I got my title last year and since then i havent played much due to focusing on my Exams.

I don't know how to express how i feel. I'm a homeschooler so im at home literally everyday, my routine is almost the same everyday, i wake up, study, scroll, post videos online, sleep. Life is so dead rn, i miss school, i miss hanging out with friends, i miss so many things. It's like i missed my entire highschool just to focus on a sport which frankly i dont even know if it was worth it. whenever i hear kids my age telling how much they hate school and stuff i literally think "you are living my dream" i wish i could go back to school again. You dont understand how good youve got it until you're in someone elses shoes you know?

Lately, especially this last year i feel so empty, from the outside it looks fine but inside, in my head, im like all alone. As i said in my intro, i post videos online. its genuinely one of the only things that actually make me happy. But the more i think about it i feel like its cope for what all im missing out on.
This year life has been so stressful, im forced to choose subjects for a career i dont even know if id like, im supposed to make all these big decisions, my dad keeps pressurising me. Idk man

And it doesnt help when every reel or movie or series involves kids my age in relationships and parties and really enjoying their teenage years. while im here sitting in my room doing nothing.

Why do i feel this way? how to get rid of this feeling? What do i do????

I am 31F single, how can I restart my life? Been jobless since a year feels like all my education and experience is not able to fetch me a job anymore...

Most loneliest person...I could earn a single person in my life..my phone is always silent no one wants to know if I am alive or not... family also makes me feel lonely... I literally have no one....how can I earn people and make them love me and genuinely want me..

How should I restart my life??