It happened a month ago, in September, I was out at a bar with my friend (with whom I'm no longer as close with). A couple of nights before we met these guys at the same bar, one of them looked like a tv show character I don't know, let's call him a tv man, but my friend seemed to be very into him just because of that. They invited us to join their table with 2 other people, we had drinks and had a pretty fun time. Whenever I'm drunk I never want the night to be over, so l suggested to go to some other place that's open, and I really regret that now. Two other people and Tv man's friend left early, so it was just me, him, and my friend. We Ubered to another bar, but it was closed too, so we ubered to my house so I could grab some leftover booze, and my stupid self suggested to go to someone's house so "we could watch a movie and play cards!". The tv man suggested his house, as we arrived there his friend and the girl who was at the table with us were sitting on the couch, and seemed very against me and my friend being there, mostly because of the age gap (I'm 20, my friend is 19, the guys were 25-26). Me and my friend spoke in private and decided to leave, but right before we did the Tv man's friend and the girl left. I can't remember but by the elevator the Tv man looked at me and winked. I winked back not thinking much of it, l was a bit attracted to him, but I remember saying very loudly (while his friend was still in the apartment) that I am a lesbian (I am bi, I don't know why I said that at all), fast forward the other people in the house were gone. We were sitting on the couch, it gets very blurry starting from here (I had 3 shots, two double cocktails, and whatever was left in my bottle of vodka that I brought from home) and he gave me a beer. I suggested to watch Rick and Morty, he brought us a blanket and I snuggled near him.
He was showing us pictures of his nephews, and I felt him touching my knee. At the moment i thought oh what the hell ok, and didn't think much of it, but it started getting more aggressive and him grabbing my thigh. Now imagine how I felt like, knowing that my friend is into him, and he is secretly doing that. I felt terrible but because I was overly intoxicated I didn't do anything. I don't remember what happened but at some point I got up, because my friend noticed that he was into me, and she went into the bedroom and started crying. I followed her and was in a way relieved that it gave me the opportunity to get up, so l followed her into the bedroom and begged to call an uber. She refused to and kept crying and saying that l'm a bad friend. I wanted to leave but my phone was dead, I couldn't call anybody. I grabbed her phone and tried to log in into my socials to text my friends, then I heard a door open. He raised his voice at my friend and said that she's being very manipulative, I regret that I stayed silent but I was in a strangers bed with a dead phone, and my friend wanted to sleep there, I didn't want to leave her there alone. He said it's freezing out there (he stayed on the sofa) and said he's gonna grab a blanket. He didn't grab a blanket, it was all a lie, instead he got into the bed with me and started inappropriately touching me, trying to wake me up, I pretended to be asleep, and then my friend left the room, that was honestly the the scariest feeling, knowing that l'm all alone in a bedroom with a 6'2 guy that I know for a fact I could never fight off, so my only option at a time was to pretend to be sleep. He fell asleep eventually (i figured since he started snoring). It felt like hours and hours, eventually i finally got the courage to get out of bed. The second I left the room l immediately looked at my friend, and that's when she realized what was actually happening. We grabbed our stuff, and I don't think l've ever had such a bad panic attack in my life. Was me winking back giving him consent? I really don't think so. After that I couldn't sleep, I couldn't forgive myself that my friend was in the same room with me while it was happening. I know I did all I could at the time, and now a month later I see things more clearly, I no longer blame myself, at least I try not to. I did text him after asking if I left my lipgloss at his apartment, I know how it looks, I really wanted to rewrite the story in my head. I don't think about it often, but we live in the same city, I already saw him twice on my way to work, and as if it's not bad enough already there was nobody else but us. We just walked past each other, I do think he knows what he's done is wrong, he wouldn't look at me, and started speed walking. Ever since that happened I'd drink daily, would never be home alone with my thoughts, and even went back to that same bar multiple times god knows why. I know I'm not a perfect victim. I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance. Even though me and my friend have spoken about this terrible experience, I feel like a shitty friend. I'm doing better now, I haven't drank for 21 days now. I just hate how one bad event made me so anxious in public that I feel like vomiting. Just wanted to get this off my chest, and maybe some advices. Maybe some positive feedback idk.

i really miss enjoying something i love without all the baggage attached to it. i've been a fan of a certain celebrity for years, and recently i came across someone STILL openly hating on this person in 2026. they were basically saying they wished this person wasn't even part of the group so they could enjoy everyone else, while downplaying their skills and contributions 😭 like i genuinely thought things had gotten better, so seeing people still talk about someone i care about like that still kinda hurt. idk if it was rage bait or what, but even though i've been trying to detach and move on, i guess i'm still emotionally attached and my feelings about the whole situation are so complicated.

i've actually been trying to give the group another chance and become more open-minded about everyone. there's even one person i used to dislike who's suddenly growing on me, and i thought maybe i was finally starting to enjoy everything again 💀 but there's still someone i can't seem to warm up to, no matter how hard i try. i've even tried to let go of my resentment towards certain people connected to my fave, but tbh i still struggle with it. i hate how the public sometimes treats famous families like they're some kind of dynasty, especially when the person at the center of everything seems pretty private. i know none of these people have personally done anything to me, and i can't control their lives or careers, but i still get irrationally frustrated whenever the topic comes up.

there were even times when i wished things had turned out differently so i could just enjoy being a fan in peace. looking back, i know my resentment got out of hand and i ended up saying hurtful things and taking my anger out on innocent people. i'm not trying to justify that behavior at all, but a lot of my frustration came from feeling like my fave wasn't being treated fairly while other people connected to him seemed to benefit from all the attention and ngl, getting revenge felt satisfying in the moment, even though i knew i'd just end up feeling guilty or getting attacked for it afterward which literally already happened lol.

i've also had questions about how someone connected to my fave entered the same industry in the first place, especially when it comes to the differences in talent and experience compared to others working alongside them. sometimes it feels like certain people rely too much on that connection instead of building their own identity, and it frustrates me when any discussion about their opportunities or careers immediately gets dismissed as hate. i understand that they've received actual hate too, and obviously that's not okay, but i don't think every criticism is automatically malicious either. the problem is that these conversations can get so emotionally charged that it's almost impossible to discuss anything without someone getting defensive.

and honestly, i think the whole experience became much more personal than i ever expected. it even affected an online friendship i had, i constantly felt like my thoughts were being dismissed or invalidated, and whenever i shared my opinions, it seemed like there was always a reason to shut me down. even during normal, everyday conversations about our personal lives, i had this uncomfortable feeling that something was off. to be fair, maybe there were things i did that she didn't like too, and i'm not gonna pretend i was always easy to deal with, but we just had totally different opinions on things. the whole dynamic left me feeling so anxious that every time i sent a message, i'd literally sit there dreading her reply because i already knew how it was gonna go. it made me feel so uncomfortable to the point where i now sometimes just want to avoid making online friends altogether. i hate that things have gotten to this point though, because i really don't want to be scared of connecting with people just because of what happened in the past.

i also know i wasn't always right in how i handled things. i look back at some of my past behavior and genuinely regret it. the guilt is still there, and i've realized that my resentment became way too personal. i'd get so overwhelmed and angry over people who don't even know i exist, and i'd spend so much time thinking about things i had absolutely no control over. i don't want to keep being that person anymore. i want to grow, take accountability for the things i've done wrong, and learn how to deal with my emotions without letting them turn into something hurtful.

but at the same time, i don't think becoming a better person means forcing myself to like everyone i've had issues with. i can acknowledge that my past reactions weren't always fair without pretending that all my feelings came from nowhere. sometimes frustration builds up over time, especially when u feel like no one understands where you're coming from, until it's hard to separate the original issue from the people involved. i think that's what happened to me, and i'm still trying to figure out how to let go of that resentment without pretending it never existed.

the worst part is how much the experience has affected my mental health and the way i see myself online. i felt like i was being attacked just for having my own perspective, and over time, i started feeling like even people i used to interact with couldn't tolerate me anymore. idk if they actually disliked me or if i was just overthinking everything, but i kept wondering whether they hated me, felt uncomfortable around me, or had already formed a negative opinion of me. it made me feel like i had to constantly defend myself and prove that i wasn't a bad person.

i even started getting anxious about posting something as harmless as an appreciation post for my fave bc i was so worried about how people would perceive me. i used to be much more confident about expressing myself, sometimes to the point where i probably came across as arrogant, but now i'm hyper-aware of everything i say and do. i'm scared that people will interpret my intentions in the worst possible way, and it's exhausting to feel like i have to prove i've changed to people who might have already made up their minds about me. i know i can't control what people think, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting when i feel misunderstood by people i once felt comfortable interacting with.

and the frustrating thing is that i can understand why some fans become defensive or aggressive bc i've acted that way myself before. i know how easy it is to become so emotionally invested that every criticism feels personal, especially when u already feel like your fave is being treated unfairly. but understanding where that behavior comes from doesn't mean i want to keep participating in it. i'm tired of the arguments, the resentment, the guilt, and the constant feeling that i have to explain myself to everyone.

i think i'm finally realizing that i might need to step away from the community completely for a while. maybe i don't have to keep forcing myself to like everyone or work through every single feeling until i'm magically okay with everything. maybe i can still appreciate the things that made me happy in the first place without being involved in every discussion or keeping up with what other fans think and maybe it's okay if i never feel the same way about the whole group again 😭

i still care about my fave, which is probably why letting go feels so difficult, but i don't want that attachment to keep me stuck in a cycle of anger, guilt, and anxiety. i also keep worrying about whether my fave would be uncomfortable if they ever found out about some of the things i've said in the past, and i know i can't change what's already happened. all i can do is acknowledge it, learn from it, and stop repeating the same behavior. i want to move forward without constantly punishing myself for who i used to be.

has anyone else experienced something similar? like, when something u genuinely love becomes associated with bad experiences, online arguments, or friendships that left u feeling misunderstood? how do u move on when u still care about the thing itself, but the community surrounding it has made it difficult to enjoy? how do u stop worrying about what people from your past online circles think of u, especially when u feel like they've already decided what kind of person u are?

i don't expect everyone to agree with me, and i'm not trying to excuse the things i've done wrong. i just want to learn how to take accountability without hating myself forever, and how to enjoy being a fan without carrying all this negativity around. i miss when something i loved could just make me happy without making me overthink my relationships, my opinions, and how other people perceive me. i want to get to a point where i can finally let all of this go and feel at peace with myself again.

also 😭 completely unrelated, but why do some people care so much about how other people type? lowercase is literally muscle memory for me at this point. it's just how i naturally type when i'm chatting casually, i'm not doing it to look "aesthetic" or seem cool lol. i just don't like using capital letters all the time. why is that even something to complain about 😭

how do you move on from your past without feeling like you've wasted years of your life?

i've been feeling so emotionally exhausted lately bc i've been reflecting on my past self, the ppl i've met online, and some of the experiences i've had in kpop fandoms. i've been wondering if some ppl i used to know eventually got tired of me or became uncomfortable w/ me, and i keep looking back at old interactions wondering where things went wrong. ik i've made mistakes and there are things i need to unlearn, so i'm not trying to act like i did nothing wrong or blame other ppl for everything. i genuinely want to take accountability and become a better person, but it's hard when i keep cringing at my past behavior and overthinking how others might remember me 😭

this year has honestly been rough compared to last year, which was one of my happiest. i feel like i've lost a part of myself, and even some of the things that used to make me happy don't feel the same anymore bc they're now associated w/ bad memories, friendship breakups, fandom drama and ppl i met through online communities. it's such a weird feeling when something you genuinely loved starts reminding you of experiences you'd rather leave behind.

i've been a kpop fan for years, and tbh, it brought me happiness during times when things irl weren't going so well. i've spent money on merch and even tried paid fan messages once just to experience what it was like, and i genuinely enjoyed it. i used to feel jealous of other fans who could afford merch or go to concerts bc i couldn't really do the same, and even now that i have my own adult money, my budget is still limited bc i have bills and other things i need to prioritize. sometimes i look back at the money i've spent and wonder if i should've used it differently, but i also don't want to regret every little thing just bc my circumstances have changed or i've had some bad experiences along the way.

i think part of what makes this so difficult is that i got too caught up in the negative side of fandom culture, esp fanwars and all the drama. looking back, i feel like i wasted so much time worrying about things that weren't even good for me, and there are situations i genuinely regret the way i handled. i hate knowing that my anger sometimes got the best of me, and i wish i could go back and handle certain things differently. i'm not saying the entire fandom or anyone else is responsible for my mistakes, bc i know i have my own things to take accountability for. i just wish i could acknowledge what i did wrong without constantly hating myself for it.

sometimes i even question whether all those years of supporting an artist or a group were worth it, and it makes me sad bc i know i genuinely loved being a fan. i don't want a few bad experiences, fandom drama or my own past mistakes to make me feel like everything was a waste. those years still had good memories, and the things that made me happy back then were real. i just don't know how to separate those memories from everything that happened afterward when they all feel so connected now.

i've already blocked certain ppl for my own peace of mind and deleted old social media accounts and apps that bring back bad memories. i want to stop checking up on ppl from my past and finally leave those experiences where they belong. but even when i'm on other platforms, my algorithm keeps showing me posts that feel way too relevant to what i've been going through, and then i start overthinking all over again. i worry that ppl from those old fandoms or communities might see something i post, interpret it in the worst possible way or use it against me. ik everyone has different perspectives, but i'm tired of feeling like i have to be careful abt everything i say online or constantly worry abt how other ppl perceive me. sometimes i feel like i'm always the misunderstood one, and i just want to stop explaining myself to ppl who've probably already made up their minds abt me.

part of me really wants a fresh start. i want to be more private, explore new interests and meet ppl who don't already have an idea of who i am based on my past. i've even thought abt avoiding social media altogether bc i don't want to keep getting pulled back into feelings i'm trying to move on from. i want to enjoy kpop and my other hobbies again without every little thing reminding me of old friendships, arguments or the person i used to be.

i've also been wishing i had a stable job or something to keep me occupied. maybe if i had more things going on in my life, i wouldn't spend so much time doomscrolling and overthinking everything 😭 sometimes i end up deep-cleaning my room just to keep myself busy, but rn i can't really find a hobby i'm genuinely enjoying. i miss having things to look forward to without feeling guilty or connecting them to bad memories.

i know i can't change the past, and i don't want to pretend it never happened either. i want to learn from my mistakes, recognize the things i need to change and make sure i don't keep repeating the same patterns. but i also don't want to spend the rest of my life punishing myself for who i used to be. there's a difference between holding yourself accountable and constantly reminding yourself of your mistakes until you can't even enjoy the things you once loved anymore, and i feel like i've been stuck doing the latter.

has anyone else gone through something similar? how do you move on from past mistakes and bad experiences without feeling like you've wasted years of your life? especially when it comes to fandoms, how do you separate the good memories from the negative experiences and learn to enjoy things again without constantly cringing at your past self? and how do you find new interests or keep yourself occupied when nothing really feels enjoyable rn?

i just want to find myself again, grow into someone i'm actually comfortable with and finally have some peace. i want to be able to look back at my past without letting it define me forever, and remember the things that once made me happy without feeling guilty abt any of it 💔

I’m really struggling right now just all together. For reference I’m 17 and a girl. I’m a junior in high school. I’m so sad it hurts so much. There’s so much damn stuff. My dad is a diagnosed anti social personality, and he treats me like it. He only has visitation these days but we talk a lot on the phone and I just even after finding out from a court that he physically can’t I just desperately want him to love me. I feel so worthless I can’t do anything to make me satisfied with me. My mom is like my best friend, she is dying from early onset dementia. She has sacrificed everything for me and I still am such a burden to her. I convinced her get some cats a while back and it’s made her living quality so bad. I’m so whiney and I get like when you’re a teenagers you’re moody but it’s so bad. I think it’s because she’s the only one I feel safe with so I like let loose around her but it of course back fires and I feel like just shit. Today I went to bed too late and she needs to go to bed at 9:30, I went to bed at 10 and she was just saying how she feels like I don’t care about her and how it hurts her feelings. She told me I’m killing her more each time I keep her up late because it’s speeding up the dementia. I can’t even be mad, it’s true. It makes me so sad. I can’t survive without her and I feel so bad. She will probably die before she gets to get out of this town she’s been trapped in because of my dad and me. She hasn’t seen her family in 10 years. I’m so devastated. I don’t have any friends besides one. That friend I’m madly in love with them but they don’t like me back and it just adds that extra layer of pain to my day. I wish I could just get over that one thing because it taints how I feel about gay friendship and it’s really e only good relationship I have left. They spend every lunch with their boyfriend anyway so I spend every lunch alone and I don’t talk in class so I basically am silent until I get home and then it’s always something. No one ever talks to me and I am the only one to blame. My heart is breaking by this whole thing. How do I stop feeling so lonely at least? Please any advice I’m so desperate.

I don't know if this'll get approved, but I really need practical advice from someone who has experienced loneliness. My life's running in a day-to-day circle: office-home, then waiting for the weekend. No social life. Tried the gym, but that didn't work out (although I wasn't very regular either).

Anyhow, I feel like it's not about the activities or financial situation, as I make a good living, but something's missing from my life, and it's making me more depressed day by day. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

What do you do when after 6 long years you still wake up every single day and wish to see her walk through the door all while you know she’s living her best life in another town?

I know there is a family cares about me, there is my friends I hang out with. But I don't have a gf and for this reason I feel lonely. And for this this reason I feel like a selfish piece of sh*t. I was left by a girl 3 years ago and for some reason I couldn't overcome this and been depressive since that day. Is there anyone who feels the same way as me?

it's so fucking annoying. and its getting worse again. comparing myself to what i used to be and ignoring the big improvements i've made.

i get into episodes of drowning myself in emotions and how bad the last few years were.

i'm weirdly not a mess right now. i'm doing everything right in my daily life. i've even started a small business and gone and started doing even more freelancing work while studying. i make a lot of money now and money doesn't even matter anymore.

but its so hard to deal with the idea that i blew it with someone i genuinely saw all the qualities i wanted in a person. its so fucking hard and it keeps popping up out of nowhere. im the kind of person who's been a loverboy, and left people when i saw no growth or improvement. being the person whose been struggling, not improving, not growing, for over a year is just so different for me. it feels like karma or that i deserve it.

i loathe myself for the last year. and i find it so weird that i can completely live my life and do well in every single aspect and still struggle because of this. a lot of my life has been struggling with the living and not struggling with relationships. relationships were always my forte. i do fully understand that i have been through hell in terms of pressure, that nearly no one my age has gone through half the things i've gone through because of my dysfunctional family. but boy oh boy does it fucking hurt like hell to know that out there, someone i've adored thinks so little of me.

i dont have to try anymore to remind myself that im not what she thinks i am, but these episodes of sadness just hit so fast and so hard when im alone again.

everything feels so weird. and i feel like maybe i shouldn't share my issues again. and sometimes i feel like i should share everything. and sometimes it feels like i should hide the stuff that isn't affecting my life anymore. i don't know right now. i'm still just all sorts of screwed up right now but i know i'll be fine. i've been talking to people in the way i used to talk. i've not been struggling with answering stressful questions about my past anymore, the way i used to last year. i'm not scared anymore. but i just feel like i don't deserve love right now. it's just a feeling and it'll pass. but it's there and i can't do anything about it but thug through it.

i'll get over it. maybe not entirely. maybe i'll never get to give the gift or have another conversation. but i'll be able to move on and tell people about her someday when i'm older. i think i'll be alone for a good while longer atleast though.

i stopped wanting answers a long time ago because i know my excuses and i know when ive not been heard. i know ive made it hard for her.

but i cant let myself be eaten up by this even further. im mostly happy and healthy after a really long time. and i will keep getting happier and healthier all over again, until i feel that i deserve it.

i've been on social media less, and i'll probably stop being on it altogether. making a difference locally is really just... it just fills you up with joy man. to see people doing better, doing well.

ig thats my rant, atleast the one im able to post without feeling like a hopeless jerk
i like keeping my relationships and my corny shit as private as possible. so there's that. i posted way more on some other site, where i cant get comments/messages. idek why im typing all this shit out tbh LMFAO but im gonna stop here. thanks for reading ig

There is a person who had a great inpact in my life when i was having a really bad time, he helped me so much and i admire him a lot because he reprents a lot who i want to be in life. I used to have a dependence on him because when i was with him it was the only moment i felt safe and also i learned a lot because of him, he was like my mentor. It wasnt healthy because i was always waiting to the next time i could see him and it was not good for me to do that. Last time i saw him was like two years ago because i moved to study and we stoped crossing paths, we kept talking the first months, but then not much. I still mis him sometimes and i kinda feel ashamed about it because i think i shouldnt miss him that much. I dont know if i should keep talking to them and everything, in part because i am scared of bothering him and because i dont know if its good. Now i am a lot better mentally, but i still think of him as a mentor that i admire and want to learn from. If i should forget him, is there any tip on how to do it?

I'm 25 years old (girl) a university graduate, and currently working. I live alone in a boarding place.

When I'm alone like this, I sometimes feel really low mentally. I don't have a close friend I can share my thoughts and feelings with. I don't have a partner either, and I've never been in a serious relationship.

Sometimes, I feel like people don't like me. I see my friends getting married one by one, and it makes me feel like I'm falling behind in life while everyone else is moving forward. I feel like I'm stuck in the same place while everyone around me is progressing.

I don't know what I should do. I want someone who loves me, cares about me, listens to me, and shares their life with me. Sometimes, I feel like there must be something wrong with me because I've never experienced that kind of love.

Maybe I feel these things more intensely because I'm always alone. I tend to overthink a lot, and I really want to stop feeling this way.

Are there any others who have been through a similar situation? How do you deal with these feelings? How can I overcome loneliness and stop overthinking so much?

I'd really appreciate your honest advice. ❤️

I genuinely do not know what to do.

So basically, I've recently come out of a depressive low, started doing things, living for once. I planned to tell her next week. And now I just got a text from one of my friends saying hes with her now.

I'm happy for the two, yes, but I genuinely do not know how to handle this, how to look at either of them. I dont know how im supposed to talk to him next time I see him. I genuinely feel like I was just stripped of everything.

All roads lead to the old friendships you had as a young girl. Bella was her name. Or atleast it is for the sake of this post. Self harm, disorder eating, absent fathers, jokes, and memes were all of the things we bonded over in our beautiful friendship. It felt as if I had someone who understood me during a rough patch in my life. Fast forward 7 years I still miss her. I text her and I’m left on delivered for months. I think she is on social media as often. The thing is that I’m 20 years old obsessed with a friendship that ended 7 years ago after drifting apart. And I’m probably the only person that’s is always thinking about the friendship, the connection and the laughs. I never had a friend like that again during high-school. I’m high-school I had a lot of casual friends that I talked to in school but not outside. In all my 4 years of high school I only hung out with 1 person outside of school. And she wasn’t the greatest friend at the time but I can take what I can get. I am really lonely, I have no close friends and I create imaginary scenarios in my head where I have conversations with people from high-school and middle school despite never seeing them in 2-7 years. It’s so pathetic to snap out of these and realize I’m just lonely. I think it’s a combination of not meeting the right people and being a friend to all but never having close friends. I’m so lonely. Even worse when I go out and see people with thier group of friends. That’s all I wanted.

Hey someone wants to talk?please

Im 27y Man From Croatia in Europe i really just need someone to talk to im really thinking bad.

hi everyone I’m 23 year old woman and I want to get out of this dark hole I’ve found myself in. I’m already on medication, seeing a therapist biweekly (for the past two years), have told my mom and some friends and do things to increase dopamine (reading, weightlifting, eating nutritional meals). despite all this, I feel so hopeless that I will get better and I think the main thing I struggle with is loneliness and adjusting to my new job. I joined a company for the experience just for 3 years but after my first week I already hate it so much, it takes up so much of the day, only 5% of this intake are people of colour, and people don’t seem to understand my sense of humour so I feel like I have to dilute my personality to interact with others. when it comes to friends outside work, I have a few but they all have friends they are closer with, which isnt a problem at all and I’m grateful for them regardless. but when I constantly see them go on holiday or make halloween plans with their main friend group and I’m left with nothing to do and nowhere to go, it really hurts, especially because I’m bi and my family doesn’t know/accept it so there’s a huge desire to create found family with friendship where I can be queer and myself freely you know? I promise I’m kind, caring and don’t trauma dump at all on anyone, especially new friends, and I always try to put myself out there but I still feel like I’ve collected a few acquaintances but no one who belongs comfortable in my inner circle. It makes my heart ache realising that when my coworkers get off work they’ll have friends to meet up with or a partner to go home to and I just have to begin the process of distracting myself from mean thoughts until I go to bed. im so scared that depression will take my “best years” away from me as well and ill look back at myself now with disappointment :( but i promise im doing my best. I really want to try and beat this, but I dont know what I’m missing or doing wrong. can anyone help me find out what might make it easier, even just a mindset shift? thank you for reading!

Hello,

I'm a female, between 55 - 65 years of age, and living close to Vancouver, Canada. My main chronic health issues are depression and anxiety.

I wanted to put more effort into finding a female friend from Reddit. In the past I have tried other websites.

I tend to have low energy.

I want to set small intentions with someone, so I don't feel overwhelmed by the process of us getting to know each other and socializing.

I'm tired of not being able to express my real self to the people I interact with offline.

If you are interested, say hi here. I'm not open to DM's for now.

Thanks for reading.

How do you deal with loneliness? Specially as an immigrant that is alone and almost breaking up a 3 year old relationship. :(((

I don't know how y'all will react to this after seeing my post.

In Class 12, I was in a relationship with the serious intention of building a future together and making her a permanent part of my life. For some reason, we broke up, and now we have no contact with each other.

Whenever I try to talk to another girl, she suddenly shows up and says things like, "Yeah, go ahead! Haha, now you need a new girl."

I try to ignore all of this, but suddenly, I start experiencing severe chest pain and pressure.

How do I deal with this problem?

i’ll make this as brief as i can. about 18 months ago, i went through the worst heartbreak i’ve ever experience and although i dont like the word, caused a bit of trauma. then, in july of this year, i finally met someone who i really liked and thought it would go somewhere with him. he’s been single for 4 years and is fiercely independent. in august, he communicated that he was having a bit of a wobble about not knowing where his head was at due to being alone for so long but told me i ticked all the boxes and that i was the first person he made it past the first date with in the whole time he’d been single. i told him if he decided he wanted to continue, he could message me after his holiday but if he didn’t, i didn’t want to hear from him again as i couldn’t deal with rejection right now.

as soon as he got back, he messaged and we’d seen each other a few times and had a really nice time. i’ve now been ghosted. we were meant to have plans on the weekend and when i messaged to find out a time, i got no response and still haven’t. it’s been a week since he last messaged. i struggle with injustice anyway but this has left me with heartache, anger and anxiety to the point where my chest feels tight and i have to take deep breaths. how do i shift these horrible feelings asap? i don’t want to keep feeling like this, it makes me feel pathetic and i shouldn’t let a man make me feel like this

im starting to do better in life again. im detaching from everyone who isnt a day 1.

i keep dreaming about the love i lost now that my mind is more free

it sucks a lot but I'm getting over it

im beginning to feel happy in the fact that im studying for 8+ hours everyday without body doubling, focus timers, etc. I'm pretty much self motivating from getting the right answers now. it's amazing.

I've always managed to scrape by with exams and pull 90% but now I feel like I can get 99% and even study ahead for the next exam (I'm not in school or university, I'm preparing for an entrance exam but i meant it figuratively)

it's not disheartening anymore that im alone again, because im doing my best now for my health and myself, the way I needed to

i shouted at my dad and called out his double standards and his unreasonable treatment of me. i don't know how i managed to accumulate the vast knowledge i have in various fields despite being basically neglected and having to figure out life all on my own while my brother has support and structure.

ive been asking my dad for a year now to use one software and coordinate things he wants me to do over there.

he asked me how to use the tables.

mind you, he worked in multinational companies and governments, managing DATABASES. he works with tables everyday. it's his job.

I've been checked out ever since, autopiloting through life. I couldn't give any less of a shit.

i just realised the point of the year why my autopiloting started and when I started fucking up everything even harder.

my mind gets hit with floods of memories and promises and plans i wanted and now I'm empty inside.

i also realised that ive never had someone break up with me before. I've always been the one breaking up with people. so it feels extremely weird knowing that I became like some of the people I've broken up with and feel their pain. but it was over text. and i think that made it worse. i don't think I've ever done it over text except one time where there was some weird shit going on in my life and it was mutual.

there was this one ex who reached out to me last year in order to apologise. I've talked to her like 3 times since then but I realise that I don't want her in my life. i also don't want to be direct about not wanting her in my life because its not like there's actually anything to lose. but I know that I don't want her to be able to reach me. i broke up with her and we remained friends for 2 years until I found out about some unforgivable stuff that she did. when she apologised last year, I was already in that autopilot state. i never got the chance to explain that to my then girlfriend, now ex. and it kinda bums me out because what the hell was i thinking?? and then it bums me out even more because I wasn't even thinking at all???? ah whatever

idk, I'm just taking back control of my life after dealing with the shit my family put me through.

i deactivated and deleted most social media and ill start purging people who have no interest in my life

i want people of value in my life

i want to be seen, and i know now that people weren't willing to see me through my pain. i have started to gracefully detach from them. i enjoy small moments of calm again. there was this video which told me to try to predict my next thought. it works so well for clearing up my head that I'm basically addicted to doing it. there's also this habit of violently shaking my hands. that feels so good too. better than trembling as stress relief.

i don't watch pornography anymore either. or masturbate. i think it was a compulsive coping mechanism for the last few years. i feel good about stopping.

that's it for now, in still improving.

i love life.

I was an abuse survivor. My internal system constantly scans for threat the moment everything goes quiet and I’m sick of it. I am always have to be doing something to distract myself from the fact that there might be threats coming at me. I’m tired of always trying to distract myself and finding ways for so. Any, anyy advice on this would be appreciated. Or just a slap fact that I always will be needing to do this to survive is alright too..

Why does it have to hurt like this?

Why do I keep on allowing myself to hurt this way?

I just want to wake up and go on with my day without any thoughts of him. I just want to wipe away all the unwelcome thoughts.

I want to leave everyone's life. My family, most of my friends, my relatives, just everyone in general I only value a few people in my life and I want to forget about everyone else. But im kinda at the very beginning of all of this. Where do I start? How do I convince people that I'm slowly leaving and that I won't come back?(I also don't care about their feelings. I've been hurt throughout my childhood and I had enough.)

Hii i am here to talk about some serious issues regarding my mental health , i am searching for help online i don’t have anyone to talk .

​When I was 16 years old, my friend passed away from overdose. Since then, everything has been going downhill for me, and I can't seem to get better. I take my anger out on other people and even my family and make so many mistakes. Recently, I met a girl I felt good with she made me feel the best I've felt in a long time. One day we were out drinking; she got drunk and started laughing at me about my best friend's death and calling me weak. I tried therapy, but I can't bring myself to commit and trust it enough to let them help me.