I was at an art market where ppl pay for they're stuff to be in stools but no one is there as a shop keep apart from cashiers at the front, I saw one of the stools and it was all trans art and stuff and one of the art posters was a picture of big breasts and stomach and vagina with the words " this is still a man" and next to it just a drawing of an erect dick in women's underwear with the text " this so still a woman" and there were more art of women's bodies with bottom growth and idk. Is this chaser vibes? I feel like I don't actually know how to spot a chaser but this was weird cos they made NO art of trans men with top surgery/bottom surgery/hair or mens bodies just featureless female naked bodies. Felt like I was being called a girl who believes she's a man and not just some bloke. Also, with the rise of " trans women are just men in women's clothes" having trans women be represented as hard cocks in women's clothes felt a bit yuck? . Like I don't know any trans men who would want stickers of this. Maybe I'm just insecure but is this gross ?

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation over something I had a bit ago that bothered her. Essentially, what I had said was that if she wanted to hook up with other men then I was fine with it. Well she wasn't fine with it so we talked about it.

Numerous times she has said she is fine and accepting of me being trans. She would love me whether I was trans or not. So it bothered her that I would suggest such a thing to her.

We talked and I discovered that the reason why I had said that was because I worry I am not enough. Not for her, but rather that I'm not enough for myself. I believe this insecurity stems from my internalized transphobia and possibly the toxic masculinity mindset that I've been fighting with since my adolescence.

I like my personality. I am confident in myself. I have a healthy self-esteem. The only thing that I truly do not like about myself is that I am trans. The reason why I don't like being trans is solely because of the transphobia I have experienced, both directly and indirectly.

What I'm wanting to know is what are things that have helped you love your trans identity or even just be at peace with it? Yes, I do plan to start going to therapy again since I believe that will help me the best. For the time being, I would like to know what helped you guys.

Context: my brother was mocking the way I walked after I got a leg injury, he mocked me by doing the most gay-homophobic caricature of a walk possible, swinging hips limp wrist and all. It was a shit joke, not funny at all, but in good humour I responded "haha, just call me a f*g why don't you"

Well anyway, apparently that was a step too far. I'm not "enough of a man" to be able to say that word, or I'm not allowed to. Mind you he's racist, uses the n word and is very much white. So who is he to get on a high horse?

33, on T for 11 years, never had any know issues but I've only gotten access to my results in the last 3 years since moving to PNW....

HELP NEEDED: My blood work is all over the place and showing signs of severe iron deficiency without anemia (for now). I have had severe and chronic nosebleeds my entire life but had a pretty bad one last year in Sept that ended in the hospital and with me passing out. Doctor did not do a transfusion. In November I had my hysterectomy. In January I started having breathing and exhaustion issues that are still going on. Doctor says it's probably from T and might need to change my dose.

Has anyone experienced iron deficiency due to T? I've never heard of this and I'm worried she's ignoring other issues and blaming T but she specializes in Trans health care so I dont have a reason to not trust her...she, however, has stated that she hasnt seen it so more reason to worry....

I’m in the absolute pits of hell with my dysphoria and it might be that making everything feel 100x worse.
I’m 20 and still live with family, they still call me she, sister, daughter, girl etc. I’m nearly a year on get and I’m looking into getting surgery.
One person I live with (who isn’t related to me) refuses to refer to me as male because I was born as a female and “you can’t argue with biology” and it’s “my right to refer to you as what I see you as”
I feel deeply uncomfortable when I leave my room and I find I heighten my voice when I talk around them (them not referring to my whole family) I cover every inch of my body that I can because my body hair is disgusting to them. I shave all my facial hair off because it doesn’t look good/is gross to them. I’m terrified of cutting my hair into a more manly cut because they say I should leave it because I looks better long.
I’m turning down amazing job opportunities where I would have to work with them because I’m truly terrified of being outed, I’m tired of being the trans guy at work, it makes people feel like they can ask me personal questions about my medical history and genitals.
I’m tired of keeping having to remind them and having uncomfortable conversations that make me feel so dysphoric because all I can think about after is the fact I’m trapped in my body and situation. I almost physically vomited a few days ago from looking at my body. Most days I feel completely repulsed thinking about it.
I’m at the point now where I genuinely don’t think I’m going to live to 25, I guess I’ve just come to the realisation that I’m trapped in my situation, I can’t leave no matter how hard I try. I have nobody to talk to about any of this who understands.
I don’t work, I don’t date, I have no friends I can talk to about any of this, my doctors can’t help me and I’m terrified of telling them how bad things have truly gotten because I don’t want to be put on a female hospital ward.
I’m tired of having to have the same painful conversations that make me feel so shifty and why people feel the need to constantly remind me that I’m in a female body. I’m tired of waking up just to exist miserably every single day. I seriously just want an escape from this hell hole of an existence one way or another

(Pre everything, 16)

I was at the beach today and after some swimming and snorkeling I felt disgusting. I was covered in sand and dirty water, so I decided to try using a communal shower (I have OCD and can't stand being dirty).

I got to the men's showers and there were two layers of curtains to draw. I hung my bag (with my spare binder, packer and clothes in) and my towel on the hooks at the side and stepped in.

Despite my initial anxiety about being clocked or seen, I completed the shower and got changed.

Honestly, the worst part of it was not having any conditioner in the stall.

Thanks for reading! I just wanted to celebrate.

Hi all,

So here’s my problem. I have a date half-planned for Friday, and I have not yet told my date that I’m transsexual. It’s not a big part of my identity and I was planning on telling him after (it’s a first date, we’re just going for food) maybe over text, but it feels different this time than the others times I’ve had to disclose.

I am very nervous usually, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it during the date or if I even feel safe to do so, especially as we will be in public and I would prefer it to not be overheard.

I would have told him already, but I have spoken to all of my past dates on Snapchat (I know) and I would be able to see if they screenshotted it. This is not the case this time, and the idea of it getting out more than it has (mostly from people that knew me pre-transition and think it’s their business to spread) really scares me. What do I do?

Dysphoria warning: discussion of genitals and sex

I feel like I've put a lot of work into trying to make sex feel better and less dysphoric, but I still haven't really figured it out. I've tried 5+ dildos and 3 packers so far, and none of them made me feel good about my body or sex. It's just a piece of rubber hanging off of me, and there's no point to it bc I don't get off anyway...

Being touched on my genitals makes me feel insanely self conscious. Sometimes I can get in the mood for a while and ignore the bad feelings for a few minutes? But they always come back anyway and I feel horribly embarrassed that someone saw/felt me like that.

I want to have a long-term relationship, and I know that coping out of sex is not conducive to that. I tried getting bottom surgery, but my insurance is refusing to cover things, and I don't have the hours required to fight them about it. I'm locked into my current contract for another two years, and even then, I know that getting phalloplasty takes YEARS of fighting and work.

Hey friends. I just put in my requests for a couple of phallo consults and my daily packer has just started to rip(he's old and tired anyways lol). When shopping for a new packer I had a thought to get one a bit larger than usual to be *presumably* closer to my post op phallus in size and shape. Although I'm still tossing up the idea of RFF or ALT until I talk to the surgeons, I'm leaning towards ALT which tends to have a fairly large size, especially prior to any potential debulking. I'd be lying if the prospect of having a sizeable member full-time wasn't a little daunting, especially as someone who is very active.

Did anyone else pre-phallo "work themselves up" to a larger packer size to prep for learning to live with a large bulge? How does the "packability" of a large packer and a similar sized phallus compare? Thanks

Hey all. This is day 12 of testosterone gel for me. Normally I apply between 6am or 7:30am. But this morning, because my unsupportive stepdad has decided to be a prick, he's decided to take his shower around 7 or 8am, and because he apparently doesn't realize people take quick showers that don't use that much hot water, I'm not allowed to shower until well after 8am, probably somewhere near 9am for my own safety and ability to live in this house. I don't know if this wait is safe or not, I really need a shower so I can't exactly do a quick washcloth wash. I'm sitting here terrified that I'm going to screw myself up or crash. I can't find anything about any sort of grace time and that just makes me even more terrified. 😰

Wondering if this is worth the risk. Need to book a flight to Asia for the end of November (for a hair transplant lmao), and all flights not through the UAE are significantly more expensive.

I'm currently waiting on a passport renewal. I've had M on my passport for a decade now, but I'm fully expecting it to be reversed thanks to the current US administration. That, I expect, will lead to some uncomfortable questions. I've been transitioned for a while -- fully passing with a full beard, phallo over 7 years ago, etc. -- so it's not physical violence I'm concerned about. I think our invisibility compared to trans women may help. But, the potential document mismatch is a significant concern. I'm not sure if I'd be able to play off the F as a mistake, in which case I'd be at risk of deportation.

Thoughts, personal anecdotes? I'll probably fork over an extra few hundred dollars for the safer (and longer) option, but it's incredibly frustrating knowing I wouldn't have had to deal with this just a couple years ago.

Edit: Looks like there are connecting flights through Hong Kong that are only a little bit more expensive. I'll likely book those flights. So, my question is a more general: what's it like to fly internationally with a mismatched ID? Do you just have to explain that you're trans? I'm fortunate enough to have never been in this situation before, so I'm just not sure what to expect.

Hey guys! Prefacing by saying I am not located in the US, but Europe

After nearly 10 years of T, I'm experiencing a sudden loss of libido ( even though my ovarian tests and testosterone levels are normal ) I don't experience any pain, atrophy or other symptoms, but my libido has totally vanished.. and my dicklit has shrunk. My periods are also coming back intermittently when stressed

I can't even reach orgasm without intense effort anymore, which is freaking frustrating. It's weighing on me mentally, it's been months. I don't have access to other doctors or the financial means to, as I need a medical vtc to go to my appointment since we live rural and I do not drive. In my country, nobody is taking new patients

I tried Andractim cream on my dicklit to see if it would up my libido or something, but I noticed it makes me bleed, so I stopped. My endocrinologist sees everything as "okay" except high prolactin, which she's not worried about

Has anyone experienced sudden libido loss despite normal tests? Thanks yall

I’m embarrassed to ask this but I feel so ashamed and don’t know how to make myself change. I don’t want to be like this. I’ve been noticing more and more that my immediate thoughts about other trans people are very hateful and negative, even bullying which frightens me a bit, because I’ve never been the type to want to bully people.

I’m deep enough in my transition now that nobody in my immediate life knows I’m trans and I’m happy with it that way. I have friends who know but they don’t live near me. Everyone addresses me as male with no doubt, even at the pool when I have my shirt off and top surgery scars are visible. I’m a bigger guy so I think they just assume I had that male gyno surgery. What I’m saying is that I don’t have any reminders that I’m trans in my daily or even weekly life except when I take a piss or jerk off (will eventually be getting phallo). I also don’t interact with anyone else that’s trans or lgbtq except those friends who don’t live near me. I live in a small rural town now and am a drive away from everything, including any lgbt centers. But I will be honest, I have often found other people in the community to be insufferable with the misandry and never feel welcome.

I have caught myself having very dangerous thoughts lately, that almost align with right winger stuff? For instance, I saw a photo of a trans tball game where everyone was smiling and happy and having fun, with a caption that the dolls had to come out and have fun at these games. That is an objectively GOOD thing! Yes! Trans people should be happy and be allowed to enjoy their lives!

But my brain immediately reacted with disgust and a very vile intrusive thought of “‘Dolls’ but it’s the ugliest, most masculine woman you’ve ever seen”

Like wtf is that? Why am I thinking that? I don’t like that I’m thinking that and I don’t want to be thinking that. It happens when I’m presented with content about other trans men too, especially early transition, and afab non binary people especially.

I don’t know where this hatred in my heart is coming from for the exact people I should be showing love to. And I have a feeling I will be called a shitpost or something so no, this is not a shitpost. I genuinely want to know how do I tackle my internalized transphobia? How do I stop feeling such hatred and disgust for other trans people?

I’m not even a sex obsessed pest I barely care for the act but it’s the fact that I fucking can’t do shit even when I wanna. Basic ass animalistic shit and I’m not even allowed that much I’m fucking less than a dog.

​

So I had my latest shot today like maybe 15 mins ago and for the first time in a long time it's actually really sore after the fact.

My usual nurse (i"ll call her J) is off on annual leave this week and she was booked up all last week and doesn't return till next week. I couldn't wait till next week coz my shot was due on the 14th, so I had to take today with a different nurse.

My partner went with me and watch how she did my shot and from what I gather she did it mostly exactly the way J does. Other than sort of lightly grasped the buttcheek to check for the fleshyist part of that makes sense (made me a lil uncomfortable ngl) every step is exactly how J does it.

When J usually does my shot there's like 0 issues. No sting when the needle goes in or out, no sting or pains during or after. But today it all seemed fine till I started walking and now it hurts so much that for the first time in almost 2 years I have cried from it.

I don't get it. What is so special about J that nothing ever HURTS with her but every other damn nurse SOMETHING hurts?!

At this point I'm convinced J has superpowers

I just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone had a similar experience. I had really bad dysphoria around my chest before top surgery, and I figured I’d wake up after and just feel instantly better.

The night before surgery my dad called and told me I was making a huge mistake. My mind had already been made up, and I’ve heard it a thousand times before, but it still didn’t put me in the best mindset.

After surgery I was in a binder for 2 weeks, but took it off to shower. There was a relief that it was done, but seeing my chest with drains and surgical glue and everything felt so uncomfortable I hated looking at my body. On top of that I lost a lot of muscle and gained a little weight, and have body image stuff on top of dysphoria. Whenever my mom asked “are you so happy with your results?” Or “are you so happy you did it?” Of course I’d say yes, but I also didn’t feel happy and I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

That feeling didn’t fully go away for months. For the first month I was terrified I made a mistake, which made no sense to me because this was all I wanted since I was 13 years old, and had spent the past 6 years binding and taping and hating my chest. I started to feel little bits of excitement when I got to wear a tight tank top or low button down, but seeing the big red scars on my body just made me feel so weird.

Anyway, now I’m 4 months post op, have gotten all my strength back and am starting to make new gains, my scars are obviously still prominent, but not fresh looking, and I love my body (at least my upper body). I look in the mirror and I feel like I finally look how I am meant to.

I just wanted to write this in case anyone post op shares the same feeling, to say that it’s normal, or at least something someone else has felt, and for me at least it wasn’t something that lasted at all.

I hate that so many people call trans men like me "performative" when we act similarly to cis men, especially when it comes to struggles with toxic masculinity, typical male insecurities like the whole looksmaxxing thing and misogyny. I struggle with these, I'm not proud of it. But what sucks even more on top of all of that, is that people will come to me and say I'm just doing it and acting that way because I want to fit in with cis men. Or that I just want to pass. Why can't it just be because I am a man? Why does my transness always have to be brought up? Or they say I can't be misogynistic like a cis man because I'm born female and will say things like "you just switched from here". But I was never a woman??? But I cant escape it, people will always just see that.

And it's hard to explain but it just feels really embarrassing when people word it that way. I'm not that different to a cis man, am I? Then why is it that when I deal with the same stuff as them, mine gets called fake? Am I a fake man? Is my manhood fake? I hate myself. I already feel bad about myself and then other people say these things to me and it's like proof.

Anyone had/have parents or family/friends that technically weren't on board with you transitioning but they didn't completely stop you or throw you out. They played the more passive role of: "Well you can do whatever you want but just know you're still gonna be a woman/be my daughter etc. Etc."

I guess what im trying to say is, they don't stop you from going on T and getting surgery. They dont abuse you (physically anyway) or throw you out. But they also still see you as your birth sex and may call you your chosen name and he/him to your face but when you're not in the room its immediate deadname and misgender?

Im not trying to say 1 is worse than the other. But the toying with emotions like calling you want you want to your face but immediately deadname and misgender when you aren't there like you're some psych paitent they play along with you to avoid conflict is so..... scummy? Very uncomfortable and honestly I rather you just verbally abuse me and call me slurs to my face because at the very least I know how you think of me from the initial.

Me and my family have come a decent way. Some bumps in the road but were relatively in a good spot thank god. But just knowing there's some parents that play that implicit passive role is again, so uncomfortable and uneasy.

I'm not going to rehash a lot of the talk about phallo that happens in trans spaces. I was on an...adult website....yes....and happened upon a video that was educational about erectile pumps. it's in a foreign language, but there's an interview with the patient, some vid of pump installation and then demonstrating it. The pump works exactly like the ones trans men get for phallo. I assume they're similar, if not the same pumps. He pumped his cis penis up using a small pump behind his testes (whereas the pump is in the sack for most trans men who opt for it).

I only am putting this here because a lot of trans men mention having to pump up a penis and that being a disconnect. Well, cis men do deal with this too. This is kind of the nuclear option for Erectile Dysfunction but it is an option. I think a wellish known food reviewer opened up about having one installed due to ED from diabetes. Obviously everyone doesn't but it feels a bit less isolating to know that, yes, men have this hardware installed too. I spend time in ED forums (Yes trans men can deal with it) and it's floated around by some men who have tried most everything but the idea of penile operations usually scare many men away (rightfully so).

Just a late night rambling. I know someone's going to say "No duh". I am not eligible for phallo and can't afford it so I haven't deep dived into the specific hardware surgeons use.

For starters where I live starting T is super hard and they will decline you for absolutely anything. I'm currently going through examinations cuz I might have a brain tumor or brain cancer but they are taking super long so I might just die from that. Then if I don't have either they still would decline me because what if T makes my symptoms worse. It'll take so long that when I finally could start i'd probably be over 25 and waisted my "golden year". And not starting T isn't an option for me because I'm a fighter and I want to fight against guys because fighting girls gives me so much dysphoria. But I most likely will never see the day I get T or anything like that. Also the only times I've ever felt somewhat okay in my body have been when I've been on ecstasy.

so I struggle to do my own tshot intramuscular so my boyfriend does it the pharmacy gave us the wrong size needle and the extra half an inch made me nervous so my boyfriend said he wouldn't stick it in all the way and I looked away, after I asked him how much did he do and it was less than an inch which is usually how long the needle is supposed to be I hope that makes sense. I didn't feel the needle at all so I'm worried he injected into the fat of my thigh and not the muscle. would this cause problems? I hope this makes sense

So I'm from a country where circumcision isn't very common and so I would like an uncut 3-in-1 packer but there just aren't many. The only ones I've found are either super small, not 3-in-1s or by axolom which aren't realistic to me...

I've been thinking of getting a cut one and just buying a morme foreskin sleeve on it or something like that. Anyway if anyone has any recommendations please tell me I'm desperate. I just need the shaft to be over 5.4 inches and somewhat realistic.

I recently had a doctor's evaluation for top and hysto, and during the appointment she mentioned that it was uncommon for people to want hysto. For me it's a no brainer, the organ I have make me physically ill to think about and I live my life detached from the fact that my body is the way it is. If I can remove it, I want it out and gone. I don't need any of it.

But, since it apparently isn't that common, I'm wondering for the people that choose to not get hysto, why did not make that choice? (Not counting people who can't access hysto for whatever reason, but would want it if they had the option).

i suffer from such bad dysphoria, even 3 years on t and after top surgery. but i am so short. i cannot be found attractive by women. my face is so round. i get no progress at the gym. worst of all, i will never have a cisgender penis (if any, considering how expensive and non-common phalloplasty is in my region). how do you keep going. it feels like postponing the inevitable. i am still getting misgendered by my father and people can tell I am transgender.

I live in the Baltic states and there has been increased aggression from Russia such as drone threats. I hope every single day that nothing happens.

I’m scared of losing access to hrt. Not too many pharmacies in my area have T, there is a T shortage in my country, so I can’t usually stack up for more than 3 months worth of T.