Hello, I want to do body masculinization surgery, possibly in Spain where I live. I tried everything else I could but my body doesn’t collaborate in the lower part. I’m working out a lot and I grow a lot my upper body, but I want to change the lower body appearance so bad. I searched a lot online and I found that the best surgeons could be dr. Brasó, dr. Lago, Moscatiello and Im gender clinic. Does someone has some advices about these surgeons? Someone had experience with them? Please, I need help, since I already had really bad experience with doctors, surgery, treatment etc… and my dysphoria is really bad. I don’t want to make another bad choice, I don’t want to trust the wrong person again. I need someone really trustful and that cares about their patients and understand trans issues. Thanks

Straight guys who have success with women, do you have advice for approaching/flirting/making your intentions known without coming across as creepy? Recently moved to a city where I’m stealth for the first time (but I’ve been told I seem gay). I’m mostly interested in cis straight (or classically feminine) girls. I’m a bit worried that I make women uncomfortable approaching even with the intention of friendship. I really want to try to start dating again and I’m 75% sure that its more my personality then my looks which hold me back. Would love specific examples of what worked for you. Should I just go to non-trans related subreddits for this?

I (21 ftm) am a straight binary trans guy. I don’t like guys at all and I don’t pursue straight women. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice in this field.

I’m a pretty introverted guy and on top of that I also have a physical disability that makes me wheelchair bound. I live a fairly normal life just with a caregiver (doesn’t live with me just comes daily) and I am interested in dating since having a hysterectomy. I’m finally confident in myself and actually WANT to be with someone for the first time in my life. In the past I haven’t been interested in dating because of dysphoria.

I guess I’m just kind of lost because I feel like being trans is one thing but adding the disability on top just feels like a burden to put on anyone. Does this feeling ever go away? Like feeling that it’s hard to love somebody like me?

Not looking for sympathy just genuinely looking for insight and advice on how to get over this barrier.

I’m 17 and pre t, but outside of work I pass probably 90% of the time. I think my most clocky feature is my voice. It sounds prepubescent to me tho, not feminine. I wear a name tag, maybe I should put my pronouns on it?? I know most people won’t read it, I just don’t know what to do. I will be starting T within the next month so i probably won’t be dealing w this as much after my voice drops, but the misgendering hurts me a lot and throws me off what I’m doing. Does anyone have more niche tips?? I feel so lost and hopeless.

(Just a disclaimer, my mum has autism and a few other disorders so she probably didn't intend anything bad by saying this. Also NSFW warning)

Yesterday I was making a bit of coffee in the evening and my mum came in to take her medication, said hi to her and all was normal. Finished making it and before I went to leave she said to me "Wow, smells like you masterbated! Fishy." Just... Wtf? First of all, generally a weird thing to say to anyone especially your kid especially considering I'm 18 so it's not exactly uncommon anyways?... Second, holy the dysphoria. Worst part is I did NOT do anything beforehand.

Now I'm hyperaware that I don't have a dick whereas before I'd kinda get on with my day. Just great, another thing to be constantly dysphoric about. Luckily I have a few packers already to calm it down but doesn't help honestly.

This is weird right? She definitely didn't have intent behind it, she just speaks her mind. She did similar things to my brothers too, whenever she walks in on them accidentally she'll announce it to the whole house. She needs to learn to control herself honestly.

It’s not entirely a vent, it’s also asking for help or suggestion.

So for background; I’ve sexual trauma, which generally I don’t have any issues with anymore. Before srs I rarely participated in intimacy as my dysphoria was way too severe for that.

Now I had meta back in 2024, and had my balls June of this year.

Orgasming on my own isn’t an issue at all. I enjoy it a lot etc. But when I’m with someone else, about half of the time I just block and my body can’t even get close to orgasming. Like it doesn’t allow me to. I know what I enjoy, and maybe the bed partner isn’t just doing it well or my brain/body just shuts off.

It’s rather frustrating as I hoped that after my srs I would finally be able to enjoy those things. It just makes me feel… worthless.. the very few bed partners I had I do really wanna please me and try their best, but it’s just not happening and it’s soo frustrating as I want to.

I hate faking it, so I will just tell them it’s not happening for me tonight. And I wish it was different…

Idk if anyone has the same issue or had the same issue. Maybe someone provide me some help as I’m just uffff lost.

I don’t think people who haven’t faced dangerous situations understand what counts as outing. People seem to think it only entails going to bigots and announcing someone is trans or gay or bi or anything under the sun, knowing it would get them in trouble. It doesn’t.

The moment I started medically transitioning, I started noticing it more. People just casually mentioning someone’s status to their friends or to “safe spaces” - including their name and sometimes even publicly introducing them that way. In their eyes, the people they told couldn’t possibly be bigoted, so why does it matter? There’s no pause button. There’s no thought of “this isn’t mine to tell”.

“Well, we want to normalize it. People shouldn’t have to hide it. It’s not a big deal.”

Yes, it is. It’s private information. Just because you think you know someone’s stance doesn’t mean you can’t be wrong. And you can’t control who they tell, who could find out. You have no idea.

Some obvious examples that most people would consider outing:

1. I came out to my youth pastor when I was a teenager (I was naive). I trusted he would be private about it. He never gave me the impression he wouldn’t be. Guess who he told? My bigoted parents. Guess who else he told? The conversion therapy advocate who he invited to our church in response to me (a leader in the student ministry) and another youth leader being trans. He admitted that fun fact to me later.

2. Adding to the conversation he had with my parents, I found out they outed my best friend as being gay to try to argue why I shouldn’t be kicked out of my leadership position. He was not out to his family or acquaintances or church. He had no intention of telling our pastor. Maybe five people knew and he was very selective about it. He was lucky our pastor did not out him to his parents. They didn’t think it was a big deal to do that to him in order to help their kid, despite knowing he was closeted.

Now, some examples that I think people don’t take seriously enough that also count as outing:

1. One of my managers told me an ex-coworker’s trans status AND deadname. This coworker had been called a slur by another one (but without their name being disclosed), and this manager saw fit to offer and then proceed to tell me who it was. They then listed off all these other ways they knew besides having access to this person’s private information (they unfortunately had not changed their legal name yet). This manager is an older Gen X person, but I feel like they really should have known better even though it was obvious they had no ill intent and had been disgusted by what happened.

2. When I mentioned the incident - without names or pronouns - to a separate coworker who was part of the LGBT+ community (and said that phrasing in response), they immediately blurted out the person’s name. In public. Where anyone could have overheard it. This ex-coworker was clearly stealth. Anyone could have been listening and they definitely could have gotten a job in the same industry where one of our customers would run into them again. Other coworkers who implied they may know who it was did not share or push for confirmation on a name, unlike this person. This person did not have ill intent, but I felt sick seeing how little thought was behind it. They knew I was in the LGBT+ community - I told them I was gay - which I think contributed to why they felt so comfortable telling me this information.

3. I had a roommate who would jokingly call me “gay jesus” (don’t ask lol) and introduce me as such to his friends and acquaintances (of which he had many). He did so very loudly in crowded places. I had to pull him aside and tell him to stop doing it because he could never know who was listening and could paint a target on my back in the area we lived in. He argued the people he told were chill and not like that. I countered that he had no control over who they told or who could overhear. I tell people I’m gay pretty openly and don’t mind it being shared most of the time, but this was excessive and I have had to lie plenty of times to protect myself in situations around here.

4. I found out my brother was telling all his online friends (who became irl friends) about his “trans brother” and referred to me as such. I had to sit him down and tell him to please stop calling me that. I didn’t know his friends (still don’t) and I didn’t like strangers knowing I was trans. He was surprised because he wasn’t ashamed of me and clearly didn’t think his friends would care. At least one was trans themselves.

5. People have outed me before to other trans people in casual conversations. Those trans people then outed me to other people and got offended that I was upset. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of being trans. Don’t hate yourself.” My relationship with being trans is complicated and painful. I choose to keep it private nowadays. That’s my right. I don’t care if your friends are trans men too. I don’t know them. Don’t tell them without asking me first.

I get that the world is “more accepting” in some aspects, but when you tell someone without my permission that I’m trans or gay, that is outing. People get to choose who knows. Some people say they don’t care who knows. Others are super private. Please don’t take your friends being accepting as permission to tell them something private about me. Please don’t take being part of the LGBT+ community as permission to talk about other people’s privacy to other LGBT+ people. It is outing and it’s not okay.

[TLDR; People have forgotten that certain things aren’t theirs to tell unless someone has said they can/they don’t mind. Being someone in the LGBT+ community doesn’t give you permission to share a trans (or any LGBT+) person’s status even if it’s to another person in the community. That especially goes for other trans people. Being around accepting people doesn’t make it okay to share private information, whether you think they’re safe people or not. That’s outing. That’s not okay.]

I've had this ongoing issue since coming out where there's a range of men (both trans and cis) who act like I have to be misogynistic now that I'm openly living as a man. It can be exhausting. It also disgusts me that this is an expected thing for some people/something that they seem to view as a defining feature of masculinity.

I've come across some trans men with an "us vs them" type mentality who've vocalized judgement about trans men who don't hold negative feelings towards women as a whole. A lot of that quickly goes downhill into the "you're not a real man if-" you're being a decent person or kept some friendships with women apparently.

The cis men have mostly been family members of mine who seem to do it as a test. There's been so many times where someone will say something around me and then stare at me specifically, as if trying to check if I'll fall in line with dude-bro locker room talk or if I'll have the "woman" response.

It's been one of my biggest frustrations lately with being out. I have a lot of guy friends who are chill too, but there's this ongoing background messaging from others of "this is how men are and how they act with men" that both feeds into dysphoric frustration and just makes me angry that men are associated with being terrible from so many different categories of people. I don't care what the statistics might be around the behavior. I'm a man *and* I want to be a decent one.

Just been on my mind a lot lately. I'm very tired.

It sucks. It hurts a lot. I am an individual who struggles a lot. I have bpd. It sucks really bad to have my feelings dismissed just because I look like a guy now. Its all I wanted, I feel more comfortable in my skin now being on t for a year and a half. But I hate that other queer people would hate me or dismiss my feelings just because of how I look and sound.

I feel a lack of support from the queer community, but I don't fit in with cishet guys either. It feels so isolating

In quotes because it is a phrase, not me declaring a side. I'm uncertain myself.

I never hear trans guys perspectives on this.

Alexandros Paporakis, age 19, attempted to shoot up a hindu temple and self identifies as a sociopathic white supremacist neo-nazi. allegedly also a trans male who will be getting continued HRT in prison. the response has been insane as expected.

I'm really not sure, so I thought I'd ask. But I'm a highschooler, dating this girl in my grade. She's a great girlfriend, and I love her, and she never makes me feel dysphoric or anything. She always calls me her man and stuff. But there's been some minor things that have worried me. The other day she mentioned jokingly that she was scared of penises, which was obviously over exaggerating, but it was within the context that she was uncomfortable with male anatomy, which made me a bit worried since I'm seriously considering phallo in the future. She also used to identify as lesbian, until about a month before we started dating, and even when she had a crush on me, before we made it official, she would repost tiktoks about lesbian culture, and always used the "wlw" tag (I think she still does use this tag on posts sometimes, not sure). But she fully identified as lesbian until we started dating, and then she started calling herself queer. A few days ago she described being a butch lesbian as being a masc who uses he/him pronouns, which I don't know much about, but she might see me this way. I'm thinking about this now because she just reposted a Tiktok about masc lesbians still being women, and how you shouldn't be shocked when they act feminine. That kind of threw me off, and made me wonder if she sees me as a masc lesbian. She doesn't express it, though, if she does. She always refers to me as her boyfriend, or husband, or her man, and everything like that, and she always sticks up for me when I don't correct people on my gender immediately. She always argues with people about my gender and stuff, she really is my biggest advocate, and one of the only people at my school who sees me as a man, at least I hope. But I thought I'd ask some older trans guys, am I being irrational, or are these legitimate concerns? I love my girlfriend, but I'm worried that she doesn't see me the way I need to be seen. I'm just a kid, so I wouldn't doubt that I'm being dramatic, but I don't know if these concerns are legitimate or not.

So. Non-op, suspected endometriosis, severe vaginismus/vulvodynia. The vulvodynia might be muscle or nerve issues but still looking into it. As part of checking that out on advice of my PT I went to a doc about it who I was told looked at this stuff on all levels despite being labelled having psychosexual expertise. She didn't examine me or anything, just had me go through my medical history and general life history, and was pretty insistent that dysphoria has me having negatively viewing my privates and that's the problem. I feel pretty hesitant though because I don't think I do, and I've always felt most dysphoric how other people treat me and not my body (I'm 5ft and babyfaced so probs for the best lol). Even my chest only sets me off sometimes. I did say it's possible I'm not actively aware of dysphoria when you've lived like this, and she pointed to that as the 'you're dysphoric and that's causing the problem' thing.

How do you know if you're, uh, unknowingly dysphoric? I'm doubtful but I figure if anyone could weigh in on this it would be here. Though I legit do not think that would cause intense pain for an hour from just anything brushing the urethra. I've had my share of bad times and trauma (autism/adhd so y'know) so I've def been aware of this, but I feel a little like she just slapped the psychological angle on the reason for why I have this pain and called it a day. But maybe not? Advice appreciated.

i am straight. i've been single for a few years now, and my biological urges are going hard. im not interested at all in a romantic relationship. i wouldn't lead a girl on, i'd tell her i think she's cool and want to have sex w her and Thats It. thing is, i cant imagine what scenario this would possibly happen in. i tried the apps recently and it disheartened me lol 😂

I started college this year, particularly one near a major city if that helps. I’ve done my best to join clubs and meet people and have made friends, however I still have no idea where to meet girls. Nobody really speaks to one another in my classes, people usually go to school events with a group of friends so there aren’t many chances to meet new people, and none of the clubs I’m in where I have made friends have many girls in them. I’ve also tried Taimi, however nobody really replies to messages on there. Not sure what to do

So I'm 15 years old and transmasculine living in Croatia. I am currently fully closeted to my parents/relatives because they strongly dislike anyone from the LGBT+ community (except my mom, but she still dislikes trans people) I have had talks with them regarding transgender people, and I quickly realized that they would not support me if I were to come out. I have been wondering if it is possible for me to order testosterone without struggling with shipping since most (if not all) sites I have been on either ship to the US or to Europe but with absurd shipping prices. I also noticed that said sites only take crypto so I'm not sure if I can legally buy/use crypto as I am under 16. The only way for me to pay online is with a Revolut account that is connected to my dad's so he can still see the transaction history. The shipping itself isn't much of a problem since my friend stated I can use her address if I was scared that my parents would take the package. I would greatly appreciate it if someone gives me a few tips for my situation🥹

i had a complete hysterectomy over 7 months ago (everything removed, ovaries and everything) and ever since then things have gone the exact opposite of what i expected. my body has been looking much much worse. it feels like the shots are working the other way around.

i've been on testosterone for 2 years. blood levels are fine. e was a bit high before the surgery, now it's fine.

the midsection is so bad, so much bigger, worse then even before starting testosterone even. it feels like the shots are literally doing the opposite of what they're supposed to do. like i'm taking the other hormone

a month and a half or so after the surgery things looked decent enough and i thought there was a bit of fat redistribution (i also hadn't looked at myself in a while) and then after that every shot would keep making my body fluctuate over and over again.

for a while it would start looking really bad (the middle looking bigger, feminine, gross. worse than it ever looked) then it would seem like it's getting more masculine again and it's getting better then it gets really bad again. over and over again. i was mostly on 250 mg/ml every 3 weeks at this point.

the past month and half i've been splitting the shots thinking that would help (i take 0.1 ml every other day) and the same thing is happening but it's even worse than before. it feels like i'm injecting e. i literally do not understand what is happening.

has anybody experienced this before? or has an explanation? and a solution

notes:

-about a month and half after the surgery when things were looking better it felt like things were headed in the right direction, at that point it felt like with a bit of working out things will be even better, now the midsection looks absolutely horrible in a hormone way. i don't know how to explain it but it's not that i need to lose weight or workout or something, it looks gross and looks like a hormonal thing

-blood levels are fine but when i started splitting the shots it made everything so much worse so quickly that i skipped a couple of shots but i'm back to taking it regularly, free testosterone is in the middle of the range. e is fine, not high not too low.

-this was happening for a few months before i skipped any shots obviously

-before the surgery i was on testosterone undecanoate (every 12 weeks) and the last shot caused this crazy water retention problem that felt like weight gain (whole separate problem i can't find a solution or explanation to) so i switched to testosterone enanthate after the surgery. so a shot every 3 weeks. thought it would be temporary and would eventually go back to the long acting one but i was terrified to inject something that would cause problems for that long at that point

-this started happening from the first shot after the surgery. but it kept getting much worse over time and it's much much worse the past couple of months than the first few months after the surgery

-i tried splitting testosterone undecanoate to 1 ml for every 3 weeks. it did the same thing, and it would keep fluctuating before taking the next shot

-now splitting the shot to 0.1 ml to every other day, everything is so much worse and as much as it fluctuates it's consistently so bad and never gets to a point where it feels like it's getting better like it did before (not that it mattered because it got bad again)

-i calculate when i'm supposed to take the shot down to the hour and a couple of times i messed up and took it half an hour early it made things even worse (and the water retention all over my body that feels like weight gain) so i don't even know how i could raise the dose if i needed to. because things also got bad extra quickly when i took 0.11 ml instead of 0.1 ml once

-i never had any of these problems before the surgery, things didn't look this bad (even when i didn't look, through clothes it was a million times better), nothing was ever fluctuating back and forth like this, it never felt like the hormones were working the other way around

-the last 3 week shot that i took before splitting them did this other separate problem where within days after taking the shot i felt like i was exploding and all my clothes got tighter in less than a week. so it's a bizarre version of water retention. and it's been 3 months and hasn't gone away. if anyone had similar experiences or has an idea what to do, please tell me. but i can't risk going back to a full shot because of that, even though splitting them has made things worse.

-i literally have no idea what is happening. whatever the answer or explanation is it's not an obvious thing. so while i need help, just know that it's not like a problem of needing to work out because it's not that, that is a plan but this is not a lack of exercise problem. there's nothing drastically different about anything before or after other than this.

-since i started splitting the shot i tried subcutaneous injections, still absolutely horrible. tried changing injection sites because subcutaneous in the abdomen was extra hellish. other sites are definitely bad. intramuscular is also bad.

-i tried taking a small dose of Anastrozole, it didn't help

-i'm 33. not in great shape but not exactly overweight. i don't know if that's relevant.

-i obviously went to doctors and nobody knows anything to help. nothing that medically alarming is wrong so they don't offer any explanation even.

-please if you say anything medical (especially if it's that i'm screwed) only say it if you actually are a doctor

-anybody have any similar experiences? and an explanation? does anybody have any ideas what i need to do??

sorry if i repeated myself but things are bad and i'm losing my mind

This is likely just me being paranoid, but I wanted to get advice/support anyway. I (18m) am 5'6 and at my heaviest was 190lbs, and now I am down to 165lbs. I am looking to get down to 130-140lbs. I have been on T for 18 months. I no longer have huge hips (or hips at all) due to body fat redistribution. I also do not have a small waist. Basically, my body now looks very masculine and I pass 100% of the time. However, I am paranoid that losing weight will somehow make me look more feminine? I don't even have a feminine bone structure. I am building more upper body muscle too. Any advice or information would be appreciated.

Long story short: getting a prescription from a dictor is a tedious process I don't have the time of going through (working 2jobs, no time to take days off and stand in lines to my GP to them stand. in lines to a dermatologist etc etc) so I'm looking for treatment suggestions that worked for others in my position.

I'm on mo 4 of my transition, my T levels are just a bit above the norm (switched to longer intervals between my shots, getting my bloodwork dobe in 3 weeks from now) and E is well suppressed. Acne is starting to get really bad. It was TERRIBLE during my natal puberty, I have acne scars all over my face, chest and back, and while more scars won't change much for me, I kinda wanna keep tgem to a minimum if possible. So basically the question is - what treatment worked for you, personally? Most curious about the experience of other men from Ukraine since some medications that can be accessible abroad might be hard to find here and vice versa, but any asvice is appreciated!

I'm a bit over two years on testosterone and have had almost zero facial hair growth. I am barely able to grow the thinnest, patchiest, teenage boy stache and nothing else. My levels have been hovering the 800 ng/dL range since I started so I know it's not a dosage issue.

Anyone else pre t like to bathe in lava and now can't handle it anymore? I miss soaking my muscles in it lol just wondering if it's t related

I've been on testosterone for 5 weeks, 30mg. I had a conversation this morning and I realized I'm starting to display the stereotypical T voice. I hate to be like this but I do not want that. I've been singing all my life and singing is everything to me. It is all I'm worth and all I'm good for. If my voice gets fucked up I will genuinely end my shit. How do I make sure that my voice drops properly and doesn't end up permanently ruined? I know it's to due with the thickness and length of the vocal cords and that if they thicken but don't grow properly that causes the sound. How do I make sure they grow properly?
I've heard to go low and slow to prevent your larynx from ossifying prematurely. Does anyone know anything else about that? Should I reduce my dosage? I'm 18 for context. Also on informed consent currently, won't have access to an endocrinologist for at least another year.

I already had high testosterone levels and was a contralto before this. I'm panicked and Idk what's going on. I know that adult testosterone levels are what causes your vocal cords to set and harden, I just found that out just now. Is it possible that I've already set them and i'm permanently fucked? If i reduce my dose and do it at low for a long time do I still have a chance for them to develop properly?

Just had top surgery! Lowkey feels the same as before because of the post op binder. My dog won’t leave me alone.