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I think many of us grow up believing that being a good partner means working hard, providing support, and solving problems.

Those things matter, but relationships also require patience, listening, honesty, and emotional availability.

Sometimes, the other person doesn't need us to solve their problem. They just need us to understand why something is hurting them.

I've come to appreciate the idea that being strong doesn't mean never showing emotions. It can also mean being honest, taking responsibility for mistakes, and learning to communicate better.

What's one lesson about relationships that experience taught you?

I’m a gay man and I find that male straight friends act differently with me than other guys. They like to hug, flirt and be touchy. This is a generalization of course but I’m curious if others notice this and if you do this, why ?

I swear texting women is so cooked bro. I used an emoji and felt the whole conversation shift.

Like, do I have to pretend to be some disinterested, stoic guy to keep her hooked? It feels like the moment I show personality through text, or use an emoji, or whatever, they don’t want to talk anymore.

It’s annoying.

How do you keep her engaged while being yourself?

Is there hope for this?

Assuming normal wear without any sloppy accidents, how many days' wear do you get from a suit before sending it to the cleaners'?

I work in a place and I have one coworker with I always joke with. However sometimes he ask me question about where's my wife,children,etc. I always just brush it off. I never told him im gay cause I feel like he will stop talking to me. What should I do? Should I tell him?

I feel this is a bit different than the overpacked “what happened to the smartest person/most popular person” question. But there are some people who just sort of come across as “cool”. This can manifest as the top athlete or smartest person, but also could just be that one person who is friends with everyone and whom other guys want to emulate. Think the cool theatre kid, or the cool musician or the cool student council president.

My example is a rather tragic one… I went to school with a guy who was big into theatre, was a football player and had a rock band. Sort of effortlessly cool and popular across all groups, and was the guy you could tell the principal even liked talking to. He had a freak stroke during his first year of college and just never recovered, and it sort of makes me sad when I run into him when I return to my hometown.

Any… non tragic examples? Did that aura of cool follow them outside of high school?

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I had a manager at my previous job who seemed determined to cause problems for me. Eventually, things escalated to the point where the company started taking action against me, and it felt like he was trying to build a case to get me fired.

I managed to find a much better job, so things worked out for me career-wise. But my old company is a major player in my industry, and because of what happened, I feel like I've ruined my relationship with a company that could have been important for my future.

That's why I still feel angry and want revenge. It's not just about having a toxic boss. I feel like he damaged something valuable in my career, and he gets to walk away without any consequences.

For those who've been through something similar, how did you move on? Does this feeling eventually go away?

Though this will sound weird hear me out. I used AI to improve one part of my yesterday and uploaded that pic to my dating app (I’m not going to go on dates, just as an experiment It will very embarassing to catfish).

What I did notice however was that now on my profile I didn’t have to “perform”. I didn’t have to say I was an analyst, I wrote labourer, I didn’t feel uneasy about who I was, all because I used AI to improve one part of me.

This sounds pathetic but I discovered that simply just improving one part of my looks really changed the way I perceived myself. I have low self esteem not just in looks but in social value, and I tend to not be honest about my life.

i figure Id ask, because the feature i used to chsnge on AI isn’t one that be changed unless for cosmetic surgery. Yes I know it screams insecurity In aware of that, but then, how do I genuinely rid myself of insecurity and actually feel it deep within my bones rather than as a performative act?

I really wanna get to know this girl, and have had this thought for about a year now.

She followed me one day on social media, and we chat on Instagram every now and then. I’ve met her in person once and found out we live in the same state. She’s kinda nerdy like me, likes what i like, and seems really cool. I just started college at MIT a couple months back which is an amazing experience but a good 5 hrs away from where we live. I’ve never felt this scared of rejection, any tips to overcome this feeling?

We’re both 17.

Is it when you’re driving and a certain song comes on, when you’re in bed ready to fall asleep, when you’re looking for inspiration and feeling horny, is it a ritual or does it come on unexpectedly?

How common is it to still reflect years after moving on/passed the person?

Ok, I (33M) hope the title doesn't come across as too depressing or make it sound like I'm going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, because luckily I'm not. However, with my 34th birthday coming up in about a month, and having recently returned from a solo trip where I walked several hundred miles across Spain (the Camino, yes), I've been thinking a lot about life lately and just where all of this is heading.

Two years ago, my life changed drastically. My GF of 8 years and fiancée broke up with me just a few weeks before our wedding after having an affair with her co-worker. It was the worst emotional pain I'd ever experienced, and I was devastated.

Luckily, my approach was to try to move on and rebuild my life as quickly as possible. I started therapy, got a new apartment, started working out and getting back into sports I'd kind of neglected over the years, found a new job at a new company, and even picked up a second gig alongside it.

I think I managed quite well, although looking back, I do think I could have spent more time being completely single. Instead, I started dating again after just a few months and ended up in a few short situationships. One of those I had to end just a few weeks ago because I felt really guilty about stringing along a girl I knew I ultimately didn't want to end up with. But all in all, my life is pretty good, I am healthy, doing well.

But to get back to the topic, I've been thinking a lot, almost struggling, with the question of what's all of this for?

What's the ultimate purpose in life? Is it having a family (which I have to admit I think I'd like, but after what I've been through, I'm kind of sceptical about relationships and struggle with this feeling that ultimately, no relationship really lasts)? Is it trying to maximise my career and income, moving abroad, volunteering, or simply being a good friend, son, brother, and family member?

I understand that eventually everyone has to choose their own path in life and come to some sort of conclusion (if that's even possible). And sure, from a purely biological point of view, you could argue that our purpose is simply to reproduce and pass on our genes. But I keep struggling with this whole idea of finding a goal or purpose that's bigger than just myself.

And of course, I somehow thought I'd have these big questions about life and death figured out by this age, but I don't.

So I'm curious: how have you dealt with this whole topic? Have you managed to find some sense of purpose or direction in life? Or, if you're struggling with the same questions, how do you approach them?

I have a vasectomy scheduled for Nov 10th, I don’t really know anyone who’s had one so I’m needing some insight. My hospital only offers the scalpel method and local anesthesia which from my understanding is one shot to the area. I understand there will be 2 cuts on either side where the doctor can do what he needs. So, I’ll be given the shot and then I will be given 5mg of Valium to take an hour so before the procedure.

Just looking for other men’s experience and advice. This would be a great thing for me and my wife as we have 2 kids and we don’t want more and not having that worry would be awesome for the future. But I feel like I’m freaking out a bit about it and I have no one really to talk to about it and I know there’s other methods and I just want to make sure that this method is still a good one or if I should look for other options.

I’d appreciate any advice!

I got a barber. My barber cut my hair every nicely, he’s very skilled and he made me feel handsome and taken care of, and it costs only a 7 dollar for a haircut, an 80% is just extra 5 dollars or a 100% is just 10$ it’s still 14 only and not that expensive at all. It costs me nothing and everyone is happy

I see a lot on information coming from men who have been dumped with, but not those who have been the dumpers. I’m curious to hear your stories, if you had regrets, if you missed them, just a space for honesty, no judgement, and listening/learning. Thanks!

I'm a 40s woman that is not very experienced with men or women in a dating context. I have always been told that I was wiser than my years when I was in my teens and 20s, and I do think I'm mature in a human sense, but I haven't had the level of dating and sexual experience of others my age. From the 20s men I've matched with on dating apps, a fair amount of them say they just like maturity in general and not necessarily expect sexual experience. I think it could be they are just saying that because they already matched with me and want to not immediately shut it down, for one possibility. Can you men, preferably those in their 20s let me know how much of the attraction to someone older is only based on if they had experience?

Context, 35. Has happened a couple times in life; high school, end of college, and now recently. No reason why as far as I know, no bad experiences. Usually lasts awhile before going away.

Not even just at the urinal either, I could be in a stall and same issue.

I'm not asking about the terrible trauma stuff, which if you've experienced that, I'm sorry and I hope you're healing.

I'm asking about times like when me and my best friend took the governor off his go cart and almost got hit by a truck as we went airborne crossing a street in our neighborhood...We almost died, it was fucking awesome 👌🏾