i dont see myself being able to quit, im 21 and have been on and off drinking since the age of 17. there has been periods where ive been sober for around 4-5 months and ive not done too bad in those times but at the moment i feel my outlook on drink is worse than its ever been. i have a partner who i have been with for over a year now and its affecting our relationship heavily. i have tried quitting alcohol for our relationship but its always ended with me back drinking. at the moment im living day to day waiting for each day i am able to drink, im miserable and dont want to do anything other than sit and wait until i can drink. im unable to bring myself to eat properly on the days im not drinking and the days i do i subconsiously have to wait until im drunk enough that i will eat. to me life is worth living when im drinking but when im not drinking nothing is worth anything. ive been through drug and alcohol services countless amounts of times and they have never really helped me, the times ive been sober have been on my own accord but at the moment it feels as if i genuinely see no light at the end of the tunnel if i quit drink. to me if i quit drink i lose all my intrests and everything else with it.

"Is this it now?"

When you remove alcohol, you remove the shortcut your brain was using for stimulation and relief. While your dopamine receptors recalibrate, everyday life can temporarily feel flat, dull, and empty.

The trap is waiting until you feel motivated to do something about it. You can’t instantly change how you feel without a substance, and shifting entrenched thought patterns takes time—but you can change your behaviour immediately.

Start small: build simple daily structure, movement, connection, and achievable goals. Action comes first; the feeling—and your natural reward system—catches up after.

Good afternoon Family today I would like to share the rollercoaster week I have had since my milestones achievement.

It's been almost 5dys since I've been totally been in the dumps. I was so excited and ampt up during and a few days after my achievement then I started waking up unmotivated and depressed.

I was told it's milestones hangover because I been feeling like I just quit drinking and drugging again. Also I live in Boston Ma and the weather change also plays a role in my seasonal depression. It also reminds me of many relapses that always seem to come around this time of the year so I'm reminded of that as well.

I'm trying so hard to do better and stay positive but after always failing I have trained my mind to eventually fail at some point. So it seems like auto pilot.

So this go around I'm trying to stay fully aware of my state of mind and try the pivot to thinking positive. Because I assume that if I work on telling myself positive affirmations it will begin to automatically think positive when im starting to think negative something like counter punching instead of getting hit.

I know I feel great when I'm positive but for me it's so easy to derail me because I tend to dwell a lot on the past.

Well I'm wondering if anyone else has or had similar experiences?

Thanx for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

I am in recovery for over 9 months after going to treatment for 3 months and a transition house for 5 months. When I was in transition we had to go to a meeting every day and the word anonymous didn't mean a thing to that group. Everyone talked behind each other's back, had rows before and after the meeting and spoke about things that were shared. It completely turned me off AA and lately I have tried other meetings but I just leave feeling depressed. I'm in recovery to enjoy my life after too many years in addiction. I'm now in university studying addiction because I want to help others in the future but AA for me now is something that I will avoid from now on.

I know, it's not easy- bad to no insurance, no time or work won't let you take half a day off to see a doctor. And once you see a doc, you get prescribed basically permanent medication for pretty much rest of your life. I put it off for a decade, finally went and got goid news and bad news. Good news is I may have bought myself an extra decade or so, and the bad news is that 20 plus years of chugging everything alcoholic beverage in sight down doesn't come free. If you can, if you still have the will or a reason to pull through, if you can, then absolutely go get basic blood tests done after seeing a doctor.

My eyes are so bloodshot that there's more red than white. My lips are dry red and cracked. My skin is flakey. Covered in small bumps and scratches from moving around drunk & clumsy like a mad woman. Moon face yet somehow I look sunken. I am one of those who gets extremely red and flushed with alcohol. I look red and blotchy. Look diseased.

I can't sleep. I have done humiliating and impulsive things socially. My baseline is antisocial and not at all flirtatious, so it's like a Jekyll and Hyde situation. I've been arguing with randoms. Just being fucking stupid. I need my phone taking off me (so I can stop ordering vodka from Amazon too)

I ran out of drink last night, it's near 6:30 now. Feel like I have the flu and look shit. Probably still drunk.

Completely spiralled. It's very obvious to anyone who knows what to spot appearance wise, I am an alchy. I live in various degrees of agoraphobia. My alcoholism is hidden and my family who I don't see much - have no idea.

I can't believe how fast it changed after a week of relapse.

29 months sober!

I still can't even believe that I have made it this far. Like holy shit. I'm 31 years old and I still can't believe that I almost died from drinking so much.

I drank every single day for 9 years and from 2022-2024 I was going through a handle of vodka every single day. I drank from the second I woke up, until the minute I went to bed. My shakes started to get really bad in 2023 so eventually my alcohol addiction was so bad my dependency would wake me up at 5am and I would have to take a few swigs to prevent a panic attack. I went into the hospital I was fully functional with my BAC at 0.491, and the doctors informed me that I had cirrhosis of the liver, kidney disease, and I had pancreatitis. I went into the hospital because I could no longer swallow without throwing up and my body had massive bruises all over the place. I detoxed for 4 days in the ICU I had 2 seizures, pissed my pants 4 times, hallucinated, sweat through 6 sets of sheets and had panic attacks the entire time. But when it was time for me to go home, I made a quiet promise to myself that I was done. And I did it. I didn't go to AA (I went one time on my 30 days and I couldn't wrap my head around it) my family was still drinking all the time around me, and my family doubted me, provided zero support and told me constantly that I was going to fail. I rewired my brain, constantly kept myself busy, and spent a lot of time alone to process every emotion.

2 years and 5 months later I am still noticing small positive changes mentally and physically.

• My cravings for sweets have finally passed.

• My cognitive behavior and thought process has improved a lot

• I am taking a ton of daily vitamins which have dramatically improved my liver/kidney/hormone balance.

• I rarely have anxiety about anything.

• My skin has cleared up.

• I don't procrastinate about the "adult" tasks anymore.

If you're newly sober I promise you it DOES get easier. It takes time to heal. You've just gotta want it. Find power in your self control and be kind to yourself.

i’ve never posted in here before, i’ve always just been a lurker, but i’ve been feeling pretty anxious today and thought i’d post for some encouragement.

i find it really hard to stay sober when things go wrong in my life. all i want to do is drown myself in a bottle because that’s what i’ve relied on for so long. i end up going on binges (literally like going through 15 1.75ML bottles in the span of 3 weeks) and then spending the next few weeks hating myself for it and thinking of all the horrible shit i’ve done (i’ve been hospitalized 6 times this year just because of how terrible the withdrawals were)

drinking has cost me countless relationships, made me incredibly violent and mean (without even realizing it), and pushed me to do so many risky things just to get alcohol. it stopped being fun a very long time ago and just became a horrible cycle.

i’ve been to rehab and done IOP before, and i managed to stay sober for about 9 months, but after my breakup, i fell back into drinking heavily. now i’m wondering if i should try IOP again.

how do you deal with the urge to drink when life gets overwhelming? i really don’t want to keep repeating this cycle, losing people i deeply care about because of my own horrid actions, and becoming someone i don’t recognize. i just want to become a better person.

I have 110 days no alcohol, and as is expected, I have a pretty bad sugar addiction now. Instead of losing weight, I think I may have gained a little! I really want to curb the cravings and get healthier. How have y’all been able to get better about your sugar intake after quitting drinking? The cravings are STRONG, especially at night after dinner. It’s definitely a dopamine hit sitting on my couch with a pint of ice cream and watching my favorite shows.

We do recover.

I’m dealing with a friend who abuses
NyQuil and alcohol. It’s tricky because I don’t see her all the time, and when I do, she hides it pretty well. Im worried for her. Her living space is a pit and she doesn’t bathe. Also worried mental illness might be in play. I’m detaching with love, but it’s hard. Can this type of substance abuse damage memory? Or maybe she’s just impaired when things happen and doesn’t remember anything the next day.

i drank vodka and beer mix (3 shots), in the morning my legs(especially glutes), lower back and left arn were sore with migraine ofc.

I screwed up. I had 11 days sober, everything was going well, and then on Friday night I got off work late. I was thinking about going home and hitting the gym when the idea of having an ice-cold beer popped into my head, and I gave in.
Now I’m hungover, I’m short of breath from smoking so many cigarettes, and I woke up way too late. I honestly feel like an idiot, but oh well, we start over from zero. I just wanted to share this.

I was married to an addict. He was in recovery when we were dating. It's been a year and a half since we got married, and I'm leaving him because he keeps relapsing and with the relapses comes a lot of volatility. But I'm flooded with guilt and sadness. Alcoholism is a disease. He's been sent to rehab right now, and I'm wondering if he comes out a changed person. Will I regret my decision? We've had great times together too. Can addicts lead a normal life?

i stopped drinking September 3rd. 2026 Why? I felt i was over doing it and i wanted to test myself to see if i had a problem. prior to this i was a heavy drinker since 2009.

The pros. Im getting better sleep. I had no withdrawals, no shakes, no health issues.

the Cons. my mood, attitude and patience....i feel im angry, moody, and have a short temper when it comes to any slight inconvenience! for example, my father is 80 and he at times is hard at hearing and i have to repeat myself alot to him which make me annoyed. also, i had to set up a second opinion with a doctor because he couldn't, would not do it himself. before when i was drinking several times a week, this did not bother my as i would save the drinking for later so i had something to look forward to therefore i didn't mind inconveniences like that....without the alcohol, i get annoyed real quick!!!

its been several weeks this cant still be some sort of withdrawl is it? when will it end? becuase holidays are coming up and those are very stressful for me!

As a partner of a person who has problem with drinking ( not diagnosed alcolism) what advice could you guys give me how to handle the situation ? I feel like walking on the eggshells if I speak I wrong if I don't do anything it has some serious consequenzes. I don't want to leave but maybe there is no other option.

I just turned 18 in July and since then have begun drinking regularly.
I was drinking normally a couple times a week, about half a bottle of vodka or more. Though for about the past month I’ve only drank probably about three times (still the same amount each time).
I only drink alone and my drinking is regular on weekdays , where I have school the next morning and I usually keep it from others (family or my bf).
There’s been i think 2 times where I’ve drank the night before (gotten blackout or close) then woken up early and drank more.
I think my drinking is problematic though I’m not completely sure, especially as at this point it isn’t impacting anyone but me

I'm 14M yes i know I'm young. Since I was little, my mom was very ok with me drinking. Anytime people were over or if she was drinking, she'd gladly let me join and not just letting me have a sip or two of what she was having, but like several (usually three or four) of my own. I don't know if that has had any effect on what I'm dealing with now, but it feels important to add.

My whole family abuses substances. The majority of my family either used to be or still is using meth, fentanyl, or is a drunk. I do NOT want to be like my family, but these past few months I feel like I'm already slipping into making drinking a habit.

At this point, I haven't had a drink in about a week but I find myself constantly wishing I wasn't sober, because when I'm sober I'm just sad and anxious, i like that being drunk can just make those feelings go away. For a while, I was drinking (usually 2 sometimes 3) every night just to quiet my anxiety and fall asleep.

I'm not to the point of NEEDING to drink, but I am thinking about drinking or getting high pretty much all of the time. It's not helping that I live in a house where there's almost always some kind of alcohol around. Also, my mom doesn't know that I've been drinking on my own, and I don know how shed react since she always asks if i want to drink with her.

Idk, I just really don't want to become dependent on it i feel like I'm getting close. I want ideas, help, or just to have people know that I am trying to stop.

109 days sober then something awful happened in my family

(which I know is not an excuse) my mindset now has been drink everyday cause I already failed.

is there anything yall would advise on the best way to get back on track?

besides obviously stop drinking I know that but its my mindset.

"Streak not steak"

I don’t feel to drink at all, I don’t drink for months and even a year but if I drink I always black out, can’t stop after 3beers. don’t feel the need to drink after waking up. am I an alcoholic?

I used to do several things that involved alcohol, both outdoor activities and indoor, like gaming and cooking etc. This stuff gets intertwined in your mind and I'm struggling to enjoy those activities now without it. Anyone else have this issue and did it dissipate?

Edit:

Why did this post get greyed out? I'm genuinely looking for information.

Me and my girlfriend both moved to different states to live with our family. We were planning on going long distance until we saved up enough to move in together. Right before we moved I admitted to her that I started drinking again and had been lying about it, which lead to us breaking up. After we moved we eventually started keeping in contact again and started calling for hours and hours every day, which I was so grateful for. I also promised to always be honest about my drinking going forward. I tried my best to be sober whenever we talked, but yesterday we called and she could tell that I drank and I told her she was right. We had made agreements on me not talking to her when I’m drunk so she felt hurt and wasn’t sure about how keeping in touch would look like going forward. I just started a new job that’s been pretty rough so far, but the one thing getting me through it is looking forward to talking to her afterwards. I don’t know how I’m going to get through my shift today without that.. I’m scared that I won’t be able to hold back from drinking as much if she’s not there. I feel so bad for letting her down. We’ve mutually held a lot of comfort in being able to talk as much as we have and I really hope that’s not ruined, but I really need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just not sure how to at this point in my life. My whole life feels flipped around and the cravings have been so strong already, even while having her there to talk to and support me.