not when my goofy ass can feel good with a shot or seven

I'm not saying this is acceptable by any means. I want to have the same good feeling from exercising, trying new things, spending time with friends, accomplishing things. I just don't, and never did, even before I started drinking.

I'm choosing to feel good, and that makes me sad. Good night.

So, highs or lows for the week?

What is something you're proud of?

Did this week kick your arse?

Has something happened that is going to aid you with how your life goes now?

Doesn't matter how big or small your high or low is. Sometimes, it's just good to share.

Chairz,

Muppet

This 1.14 L vodka bottle didn’t stand a chance 😭💀

😹🤣

My brain already decided to take 4mg 30mins ago and.smoked a bowl. Otherwise i would ne drunk af but dont really eanna drink when on xans lmao

Not fark rum, DARK RUM

Therapy in an hour 🫠

When I'm having a hard time and considering being an absolute degenerate I've been watching the blade live streams. It makes me realise how gross it can get?

Has anyone else seen this channel? Do you like him or hate him? And why?

Btw his foot is fucking gross.

I've made a lot of "progress" but it's starting to feel pointless when all I feel is anxious and alone.

I have nobody to lean on and it's my fault honestly. I don't know why sobriety makes isolation feel so necessary.

I should probably go to meetings but I only have energy to get to work and then sit alone at home.

It doesn't help that I recently moved and now I'm legitimately alone for most of the day to where the thought of "Why not?" Comes into play more often than not.

The only reason I haven't is distance to the liqour store is too far and my state doesn't do 3rd party delivery. I don't drive.

Not even sure why I'm posting here, maybe just to vent and hopefully get one more day.

Who knows, hope you all are doing well today.

i took one singular 25 mg librium 90 hours ago, and i drank tonight forgetting about it, am i gonna be okay?

Stone cold 3:16 brothers. Chairs.

So, highs or lows for the week?

What is something you're proud of?

Did this week kick your arse?

Has something happened that is going to aid you with how your life goes now?

Doesn't matter how big or small your high or low is. Sometimes, it's just good to share.

Chairz,

Muppet

Ever come off kind of a bender and you place kind of trashed with beer, cans and shed everywhere and you finally shake it off and say I gotta clean this place up. I’m living in filth. So you start cleaning up and you realize every third beer is full and full of flys and you’re dumping it out feeling bad because you wasted money but at the same time feeling good about yourself cause you did drink less than you thought you had drank like actually not so bad. Better than I thought it was. I could buy less beer and make sure I drink it all rather buy more beer forgetting to drink it or whatever maybe that’s a luxury I don’t mean to do it. I’m poor as fuck. I’m like about to be homeless.

Chairs people.

The Holy Spirit of booze has blessed me today

Now my whole life revolves around my family wondering if I’m drinking or always being questioned. I miss when they didn’t know and I’d be given money from my parents bc ya they didn’t know lmao. Or like if I want a beer now it’s not oh sure let’s have a few beers! It’s “think about it first!”

OK, so after a potential two week bender Monday I was sober but yesterday the Alcohol took over and it was because stuff wasn’t going my way. My day just ended up feeling like pure garbage. I wasn’t making my goal so I turned to Alcohol and that one turned up to being six and it’s crazy how the mind affects the way you think after drinking this morning I woke up with nausea surprisingly did not throw up and that’s because I also have benzo dependence so my friend gave me 10 2 mg tablets and that kind of gave me a sense of relief because I knew I had medication because he wasn’t gonna be around for two weeks so that gave me a sense ok relief and plus I got a psychiatric evaluation appointment tomorrow. That’s gonna last me an hour and 30 minutes. I don’t know what to expect, but I am gonna go and hopefully they could taper me off the medication and give me a medication to help with the alcohol cravings

Vodka is now almost 1/2 gone after 2 hours. #PacingMyself

Every waking hour is torture when i try to take it slow. I end up vomiting many times from withdrawal. So then i take a few shots, vomit that up and then try to nurse beers all day.

It was originally morning sickness but now its just constantly through the day feeling sick, vomiting and not even being able to walk around without feeling nauseous and wanting to vomit.

I do eat once a day at least. I drink Gatorlyte every morning with my pills. How the fuck do i break this vomiting cycle? I am losing my mind now.

I average around 22 or 21 drinks a day being my lowest. I try to measure shots and try to save beer tabs to help me keep count. I feel like if i could somehow get down to 16 drinks I'd be ok. But i can't seem to do it.

If i ask for benzos they will send me to medical detox so thats not an option unless i wanna miss work for a week. And i don't wanna do detox because i have responsibilities and shit i need to do. Am i fucked? Do i just need to hit the eject button and do detox again? I really don't want to.

Actually, it’s almost 5 o’clock here in San Francisco… So I’m starting a little early.

I’ve always had a hard time tapering (who hasn’t)… I almost always made some schedule of drinks per day, etc. I would drink white claws thinking there was some sort of hydration going on. Tried probably 10 times and succeeded once.

After going back out after some sobriety, shit eventually got bad. I knew I had to taper before stopping, but was too lazy to try to plan out drinks etc.

My plan was simply: buy a 24 pack of Michelob Ultra. Drink one when you’re getting too sweating/shaky. Did this for 3 or 4 days (bought another 12pk during the process).. main thing, keep your will power strong during that time. I succeeded.

The first time i had severe DTs was when i was 27. I didn't realize it at the time that i had a physical dependency. Had to google it and find out cus i never really knew anything about alcoholism and withdrawal.

So i just didn't prepare well and i went to sleep like normal. Waking up to nightmares. Sweating, shaking on my couch. Vivid hallucinations of snakes. The thing i fear most.

And now, Not DT territory but i have these awful vivid dreams of snakes crawling and biting me. I woke up today clawing at my back thinking snakes were biting me.

😆 what the fuck dude. Anyways chairs and I'm gonna have a few drinks to keep these fuckin snakes away.

Which I guess means she's playing a game at the same time as me but not with me and getting annoyed with it so I'll just drink my beer. Again. Super glad I set it up to take two months to fly a few thousand miles to get loaded and post on Reddit from my girlfriend's house instead of from my place.

Cheers, lol.