It doesn’t get better. I spent five years without drinking. I thought getting drunk would be easier and my tolerance would be lower. It wasn’t. I have the same tolerance I did back in 2021. The liver pain comes back the tingling fingers and feet come back. Now I spent about a month out and I came to the painful realization that drinking is no longer an option for me , physically my body can not tolerate it and I’m miserable anxiety ridden and feel like garbage.

Had a couple of really bad days, followed by an injury that won’t heal, so I can’t even hit the gym, which is the only thing I look forward to lately. I wish I could just drink after a shitty day, but if I drink for even one day, I’ll be a disgusting creature in the hospital by next month, then I’ll probably just be dead in a year or two because my drinking ramps up FAST once I start.

I’m so fucking jealous of the people who can just drink for a night or two and then forget about it. I am just sitting here playing games, that are only making me even more angry, everything is pissing me off so bad right now and I’m sad and wow a six pack would make the night better, buuuuuuut ruin my life, so I can’t do it.

It’s been pretty easy for me, but tbf this is the first really bad day since I quit. Idk what the point of this is, I’m just upset and want to speak, I know I will thank myself for not drinking in a couple weeks when I feel better, but for right now, it sucks.

I got her a bounce house and there are other kids coming already and I got her an electric scooter.

I’ve been away for two weeks while she’s been in school. With her step dad who she loves.

First week I was at my mom‘s house taking Librium detoxing. She is an RN so she could help me take the pills the right way.

Then I spent a week with my dad secluded with no car, helping him out since he is disabled.

He actually cooked for me and stuff though and helped me eat and get my health back so I’m going home this weekend for my daughter’s birthday party and I’m going to stay home sober.

Even going to NA although, I can’t stand meetings. I’m so serious about this this time.

Maaaan, if I'd have tried to taper with vodka or even wine, I'd probably be dead right now. It takes TIME to put a beer into your body, but the addiction doesn't care; it loves every sip and would give anything for another.

Thank you all for being my friends for another day. I didn't stay sober, but I stuck to beer, and someday I'll be done with that too <3

I've been in and out of recovery for about 10 years. I'm around 7 months sober this time, and I decided to start making music to tell some of my story about the shit I went through and where my head was at during my addiction.

Thought some people here might be able to relate.

Actually a positive post-I had a good day and wanted to make a joke about the "ask your doc if alcoholism may be right for you!"

I've done quite a few things brilliantly in sobriety/getting sober, but compared to what I expected of myself (which is what, exactly? Be the kind of person who never became an alcoholic in the first place?) I did so badly I never felt good about progress. Today was not that day for me!

Today, my meme would read, "Tired of Hangovers, Headaches, Ulcers and Diarrhea? Ask your doc if being Dumb may be right for you!"

I had one priority, and one priority only: To do 100 pullups, on top of my full bench press workout.

I am not in shape lol, I can do maybe 5 pullups (I'm skinny, late 30's) and this week I was sick, but I said I'd do it today.

I got like 4 hours of sleep, I was sick, I had...milk, as my only food before 10pm (and a few handfuls of dry cereal I found later on) and I went at it. I benched to failure 3 times (tiny, tiiiny weight but not so tiny a burn in my chest) then got to work. I was almost immediately kicking to get up, cause homeboy cannot do that many pullups-but I could so 2-3 negatives at a time with good (decent squeeze, not freefall) form, so I did that. 92 good negative reps, 8 good regular pullups, and 7 failed reps that had to be done again. Chin went over the bar 100 times.

I am gonna be sore as shit tomorrow. I'm still out of shape. I'm old. I'll be eating...well hey there ya go. 2,000+ calories and plenty of water are going down the pipe, which is a lot more than previous times.

My back feels better. I'm sure my liver is way happier. My ulcers don't bother me. And I actually worked out.

I may still be an idiot, but I'm a pretty harmless and increasingly useful idiot. I checked-with me-and I say, sobriety's worth a shit.

Hang tight fellas*. Keep up the good fight.

*and fellettes

Was a heavy drinker for almost a decade until around last year. I had 219 days, as long as you don't count weed. Summer is always a bummer and I'm back on my regular crap. Now I just grab a single 30 pack of hamms and some svedka every month or so until I run out and am sober until I feel like I shouldn't be.

Now I feel stuck I don't know if I should feel proud for the progress I have made and should feel as if I am in the exact same place as I was 5 years ago but with the naive cope that I am in a better position than I was 2 years ago.

Anyways not sure what to say but cheers, hamms is nice and I hope you guys are all doing well.

I’m on my final day of tapering, just finished my third drink over 2 hours and I’m not even buzzed.

I am (hopefully “was”) a daily binge drinker and often felt like there was never enough time in the day (2-4 hour time periods would often disappear from my memory, making the day feel shorter). But today, I spent 8 hours commuting/working, then 1 hr buying a new appliance, 1 hr walking, then probably 2 hrs doing light household work and relaxing. And IT’S ONLY 8 PM? And I got home from work and the appliance store at 4:30?

Boredom, especially at home, is a major trigger for me which I anticipate will become harder as we get less daylight and colder weather on the US east coast. My core group of friends just had babies, and my non-child friends usually have a lot of family Christmas plans so I’m worried.

I’m so over drinking. I’m literally 29 and eat healthy-ish, have averaged 65 running miles each month for the last 6 months, and have a low-stress and high paying job. Yet I have high blood pressure, occasional liver pain, and anxiety. Even before my drinking, my brain has always been in constant thinking mode and it’s always hard for me to relax. I think I resorted to drinking because I found that it helped drown my thoughts.

I need sobriety.

I literally never want to feel that way again. Back story ive been struggling with alcohol for the last two years but really bad specifically in the last year. I am a secret vodka binge drinker and I got really good at hiding it. I have been successful in quitting a few times but also ended up in the hospital for withdrawal symptoms and pancreatitis once or twice. Youd think it would scare me to stop but nope. I managed to get 2 months sober and got back into it. I however do not drink everyday but when I do I go hard for 2-3 days taking shots whenever throughout the day til I run out or pass out. This last one in particular lasted about 5 days. 350-500ish mls of 44% vodka each day. Barely ate or kept hydrated. I had my last drink 72 hours ago (im 35F, 5'5, 135lbs for refrrence). The hell i went through over these last 3 days absolutely terrified me. Monday I woke up at 2am with extreme body shakes and anxiety, heart beating out of my chest, cold sweats, heart palpitations and just pure panic. I know quitting cold is dangerous but I felt I had no other option. I got to the point if desperation I asked my friend for an Ativan which calmed me. Next night sleep was bit better, but woke up really early atill woth restlessness, chest pains etc. I felt ok once I got up so I started getting ready for work, I was fine and then those feelings hit me again in a wave, except this time I felt extremely light headed, I truly do not know how I got through the day, but I did. This last night was the worst. Woke up 2 am and legit felt like i was dying, tossed and turned til I had to get ready for work. I was scared to even go in as I felt like i was going to faint at any moment. I had a co worker give me some supplements and surprisingly it helped and I made it theough the day, now I am typing this scared to go to sleep. Im hoping the worst of it is over. This all may sound so mild but it was truly terrifying and by far the worst withdrawals I ever felt. I never ever want to feel thos way again. Anyways thanks for listening. Heres to making it through the night. IWNDWYT.. UPDATE: I had a seizure and im on my way to the hospital.

I remember once seeing someone celebrate two years of recovery and I couldn’t even phantom what that could possibly feel like while I was in the throes of my own alcoholism. Welp, now I do and it’s super satisfying! I never thought I’d make it this far and I never thought I’d be able to get the thought of booze and drinking out of my head.

It takes work but it’s worth it. Thanks to everyone in this community; I felt too weak to do it alone and knowing there’s many of you here with the same struggle helped so so much.

Here’s to another year!

Well I drank a bottle of wine last night which is good compared to my 2 a night and liquor I spaced my glasses out and was in bed by 8 I have downloaded an app to count my drinking days V not drinking days and my goal is to see the not come up and up and up…. Right now we’re even and I will not drink today as have a very busy day tomorrow and need to drive… I also do not want to ever go to bender levels again of 4 days plus keep it to 2 or 1 or none

I don’t know why he wanted to mess up. We were doing so good being sober. He told me let’s just pretend like we didn’t do it but I feel guilty and I wish I didn’t drink last night. She bought some vanilla vodka shooters like a 12 pack. I thought I came here to be sober with him. He said we’re going to pretend like it didn’t happen, but we are almost out of weed so he gave me four shooters and sent me to bed. I can’t sleep because I have bipolar disorder and I’m on a manic episode. The shooters helped me for about four hours and now I’m awake and feeling like a piece of shit for drinking since, I am supposed to be on a sabbatical.

He got his Social Security check and first thing he did was go buy some alcohol and share it with me and I wish I didn’t drink a drop. I just did a Librium taper to get myself off of alcohol. Why on earth would I drink again?

Usually around 8-12 drinks, drinking all day from sun up to sun down. Typically more on weekends, like 12-15.

My wife has had it. I've had it, honestly. I've been starting to enter bender territory where I'm connecting days without stopping. Doing a rapid taper cause I'll inevitably fuck it up if I extend it.

I had 6 drinks two days ago and have hung around 4.5 yesterday and today. I've been able to go 17-20 hours in between sessions during this time.

Sleep is obviously terrible and I feel groggy as hell, but no other symptoms over the last few days.

I have to assume I'm good to jump, right? I'm doing all the typically recommended things (eating, hydrating, electrolytes, b complex, multi, magnesium before bed).

Probably overthinking it and just need to accept feeling like death. Anyone else have experience similar to mine?

I’m staying with my dad right now and he borrowed my pipe last night. Did not tell me where he put it.

I literally had to go wake up an old disabled man with PTSD in the middle of the night to find it. I feel bad, but I needed to smoke.

When you wake him up, he startles awake every time and it’s really sad.

I have to rub his arm and be like it is your daughter it’s OK

I had been in the hospital two weeks ago for being on a month long bender of several handles of vodka, fifths, and those 5L wine boxes. I was being medicated but somewhat infrequently. I was receiving mostly zofran and ativan. I was going between shaking to sleeping, could barely eat anything. So I asked to get discharged about the 3rd day because I just wasn't getting any better under their care.

I started drinking again maybe like the next day cause I still felt like dog shit, for two days, 2 more of those 5L wine boxes. But after that ran out I quit. Mostly cause I lost my wallet, but also because my body had just hit a wall and I mentally couldn't keep it up anymore.

Now I think I'm on my like 9th or 10th day of cold turkey detox at home. I had a little ativan helping me hobble through it, but I think it's making me worse at this point. I can keep down fluids and eat 90% of the time except I throw up every time I wake back up (except yesterday when I didn't have any ativan in my system and threw up broth and a whole bottle of gatorade). I was doubling up on ativan for sleep. Now I'm trying to stretch it as far as I can using one pill and Tylenol PM.

I know I'm so many days out, but I still feel like I'm going to have a seizure. Some days I feel a little better, but then it swings rapidly the other way and I feel worse.

I don't know if I should try to get some alcohol back in my system. Like light abv something, 6 or 12 pack. I can't really do the taper thing but I don't want to get drunk either. I just want to survive the night.

I don't know if that's going to set me back even more, or help my body finally stop freaking out.

I will feel shame posting this. I know redditors can be so mean. I’m saying this because even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s why I turned to alcohol.

I must’ve been 11. I was in the hospital because, at first I had pains that made them think I have appendicitis, and then I later had another condition (it was very long, I don’t remember the name). At the same time, I would try to make myself vomit due to insecurities about my body and also because I was terrified of going back to school and I really liked being in a hospital. It felt safe away from school with bullies.

I think at first, I was in a children’s ward. Before I got moved into my own room. There was another kid there. His parents had rented him a tv, he had his xbox, I’d hear him play call of duty all day.

Eventually I spoke to him. I really don’t remember what was wrong with him, but he had a lot wrong with him. I remember he told me they put alcohol in hand sanitiser. obviously now I know they avoid having alcohol hand sanitisers.

But we used to drink it, hoping to get drunk. I had never drunk before but the novelty and feeling alive, doing something risky and “bad” was so fun.

I remember the first time I drank with my friends at school, and I drank the vodka raw. I got bullied, they called me weird. But to me, it tasted like the hand sanitiser we’d taste. they weren’t friends. classmates, peers.

Alcohol always felt so personal to me. It’s like the moment I drank at 13, it felt like the hospital experience was symbolic - like it had to happen.

I am not condoning this at all. I need help, I am expressing what I feel, so others can show me this isn’t the life I should be comfortable with. I need help. Vodka burns so good

an excerpt from drunk me last week:

“Death metal - panchiko is playing. I’ve drank at every corner of my life. I’ve drank a bottle, hugged it. Danced around with it. Who can openly say they have an attachment to vodka like this. Went to america, tequila, had tsuica from my romani aunt, nothing compared to vodka; the burn the taste or blending in with people and they don’t know you’re drunk. People always say they’ll smell it or
whatever. Never had that. I take care of myself.i js e imprisoned myself because of it i can bike, walk, travel whilst almost blah out drunk” i only feel like me drunk meow

So as the title states I've been sober for over two years now. I'm 25, and I stopped drinking in late 2024. Before getting sober, I was drinking nearly half a bottle of gin every night. Since then, I've been married for a year to a woman I love dearly, and I've been working in my dream job for about a year as well. Life on paper is pretty good. However my cravings for alcohol have been incredibly intense over the past 6-8 months.

Every single day I crave alcohol. I genuinely grieve the gift that alcohol is for normal people, something I feel I can't share with my beloved wife. I love my wife dearly and genuinely enjoy spending time with her, but whenever we're out on dates, I often find myself feeling bored and constantly thinking, "I'd love just a glass of wine right now."

I'd love to share a bottle of wine with my wife, be silly together, go on romantic dates, dance, laugh, and just enjoy the gift that alcohol can be. But I can't.

I work a lot and study full time as well, and whenever I finally get some time to rest, I don't really feel rested at all. I crave alcohol so much, not necessarily to get drunk, but just to feel at ease and enjoy life.

The difficult thing is that I don't really enjoy life anymore. I very rarely feel genuinely happy, and when I do, it's only fleeting. (And yes I know some of you will probably say that's just life.) My thought process has slowly boiled down to, "If I'm this unhappy sober, then what's the point of being sober?"

I'm aware that I was depressed before, back when I was drinking my guts out every night. But part of me keeps thinking that things are different now. I'm married, I have my dream job, a pretty good social life, and a real sense of purpose. Maybe alcohol wouldn't be so bad this time around? I know how dangerous that line of thinking can be, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

I genuinely don't know how long I can keep going like this. And before anyone says that cravings come and go, that's not really been my experience. These aren't occasional cravings that last 20 minutes and then pass. They're CONSTANT. Every single day, for months on end.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, particularly after being sober for a couple of years. Does it actually get better? Because right now, the thought of spending the rest of my life feeling this way is honestly exhausting. Please don't tell me to just hold on a little longer, I want to know if anyone in my situation has returned to controlled drinking after drastic life changes and a time of abstinence has passed.

I’m sitting here shaking and puking and extremely nauseous just waiting for this to pass. I was a whole week sober again and then trashed it with a pint of vodka and now I’m paying the consequences today. I’m just feeling so fucking ashamed it’s already noon I haven’t gotten out of bed I fucking stink from puking like 5 times and the dog is moping around waiting to go out. I am just useless.

42 days sober today. Honestly feels good to look back and see how far I've come.

I'm trying to build better habits now too, especially getting back into running and working out. I haven't been very consistent with those yet but I'm trying to take things one step at a time.

Some days are easier than others, but I'm proud that I've made it this far

For those who've been through this did you find it easier to build new habits as time went on?

I want to acknowledge this is a huge accomplishment even though it is my nature not to make a big deal out of stuff. 1000 days clean is not something I thought I could ever do.

Just like every other day. Today really was going to be day one and I'm sat here with a large glass of wine at 1130am.

My feet and my body and my mouth are on autopilot even if my brain is screaming at me to stop.

Not even sure if this is the right sub for this but idk where else to go.

I’ve posted here numerous times over the course of this year. I was a daily binge drinker and had unsuccessfully attempted to quit/taper a handful of times this year. I would say naltrexone and then the injection form, Vivitrol, made the biggest difference. I was a few weeks into my first Vivitrol shot when I finally quit. And it’s been surprisingly easy to stay sober. I think the shot contributes the most to that fact. Anyways. Just wanted to share my progress. 3
Weeks. Yayyyy

Hello everyone, hope you guys are doing fine.

I'm 14 days sober after an epic relapse(almost 2 months drinking 2L of vodka a day)

I needed to be hospitalized to detox, i was being treated so badly by the nurses and doctors in general(low dose of valium + meds that are not used in detox), nurses didn't allow me to go to the toilet, i urinated in my own bed, they yelled at me in the last day, well i was just able to ran away from the hospital and call a psychiatrist, that sent me valium, i took my last dose of valium 24hrs ago(2.5mg). No shakes until now. I also started duloxetine 11 days ago and raised my dose from 30mg to 60mg, im having nausea as a side effect.

I also started naltrexone on sunday, half pill for 3 days and tomorrow i will raise it to 50mg. What to expect from that? I took naltrexone 8 years ago but i used the sinclair method, i used only for a week i guess and didn't see any results back then, i don't use alcohol for euphoria, just to be numb and to fix my anxiety.

Anyone here used naltrexone as an anti-craving med? The doctor said that it should stop the cravings, before that i was sober for 4 months and during the first 3 months i didnt have any craves.

I don't think i have depression, i drink when im bored and then it becames a bender and in a few days im dependent on alcohol again(kindling).

psychiatrist

I did it to numb the pain of losing her. She's still gone but at least I'm 20 days sober. Still miss her like crazy though.