If you have even the slightest sense that you're being manipulated or taken advantage of get out and run. Don't wait around for things to get better because they won't.
This is great advice. There will be people in your life who try and take advantage of you. Learning to say no, forcefully if necessary, is an important life skill. You see advice in women's threads along the lines of "trust your gut, if something feels off get out".
This is entirely correct, and does not apply only to women. The dangers you'll face as a man are different, but they're just as real.
Yeh the career thing fked me over. I lost my 20s listening to my dimwit father of mine since we're all taught to listen to our parents - even when we don't want to...and I really didn't want to...but every time I didn't, he'd go after my mother and lose his shit. Yeh a DV household and if the idiot got arrested no fking way I'd be able to afford just the weekly house bills...ans so... I'm ashamed to even call that duffer my father after me coerced me into working odd jobs here in the US that did nothing for me, just to show proof of income cuz he thought he can get some girl from overseas to marry me off and run the arranged marriage game on me and for that girl to serve him and maintain his respect.
The retard is from the 60s and he's one of those know it all without showing proof delusional a-holes that I had to unfortunately rely on for 8 yrs of financial assistance just to keep a roof over my head. So I lost my 20s and got away from him to the otherside of the world for free housing with my uncle just to watch my grandmother get abused and tortured mentally and physically and die by chocking on her food via Alzheimer's since ppl forget how to swallow due to the disease side effect.
Now I'm back since he lost his job and since I had to take care of my mother since he got a job elsewhere and got nothing to show for it except Trump screwing me over now since I have to work for my Medicaid at the age of 32 and have a revamped life career plan with AI wiping out entry jobs and hiring freeze since 2020 and just broken ass HR and useless recruiters and them not being automated out just to keep things more simplified and speed up the process of getting hired instead of being ghosted and not really knowing who's actually hiring and who's not.
But this is what coercion and being used/misled/manipulated and lied to by useless ppl gets you. Including certain parents who shouldn't deserve to have children. Especially the "know-it-all" sociopaths/psychopaths that treat other ppl like shit and don't give them the benefit of doubt first and act like the world is gonna end the moment you step on an eggshell.
That’s the hard part. Recognizing you’re in that situation, and then leaving it because you say to yourself “I’ve dealt with it for months/years, why can’t I just continue to deal with it now?” Better the Devil you know, than the one you don’t and all that.
Learn to recognize the snakes... Don't always point them out though can cause a lot of issues. I've made enemies pointing out tactics and even letting a manager know exactly what the person is going to attempt soon.
I’m not a guy but the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my adult life is that time is the most precious resource! When you enter a scenario it’s better to say no it not for me or it’s not worthwhile or won’t work a waste of time the longer you stay harder to get out ! Many people have so many regrets because time is something we can’t really control ! I used to lie to myself saying a person or situation is worth it but it’s not and because you’ve been there for long harder to get out why people can stay in situations for a long time!
As hard as it is to say, some family can be the worst people to you. You can wake up to it in your 30s and 40s. Much better to respect yourself now. You're really worth it.
Man my situation is fucked though. I don't have anywhere to run too. It's like I'm on a sinking boat in the middle of the ocean, and I'm not a good swimmer
Hey I've been there man. Hard as it is to believe, it's easier to go to where things are better than to stay where you are while things keep getting worse. Do some research on where you can get to and just take a leap of faith
Been there bro . It obviously depends on your situation whether or not you can tough it out but two happy homes is better than one miserable one for your child.
Good advice, though I have learned what works even better is learning to set solid boundaries and then manipulative people self filter out of your life. They do the running, not me. This is probably why I’ve gained weight in middle age 😅
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u/Dandy_Guy7 13h ago
If you have even the slightest sense that you're being manipulated or taken advantage of get out and run. Don't wait around for things to get better because they won't.