My wife recently went to a conference where a speaker talked about their group who helps people adopt orphans from other countries. So when she gets home, she hits me with the I want to adopt what are your thoughts. And I told her I like our life as it is, we can travel when we want. We can buy what we want when we want. And I’m about 9 years from retiring and I don’t want to keep working until I’m 70. And that’s where the discussion ended and arguing started.

First some history on us, I’m 46 and she is 37, we have been together for about 10 years. We can’t have kids of our own and we did the foster program about 6 years ago. It was not all rainbows and sunshine. It was hell on us and in the end the state placed the kids with a relative. And to be honest I was so relieved when it was over.

All the articles I have read say if both people are not fully committed then it will lead to divorce. But since I held fast to my wants and she is holding fast to hers. Then what is the next step???

Hey everyone! I’m using a throwaway account for privacy reasons, but I’m hoping someone here might be able to point me in the right direction.

I’m 29 and looking for my biological mother, who would be approximately 48–49 now. I was adopted as a child in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and I’m interested in finding my birth mom and any other biological relatives.

I’ve started searching and have found a potential lead, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions before I know more.

For anyone who’s searched for biological family, what resources or methods did you find most helpful? Any advice is appreciated! Thanks.

I am a adult adoptee I guess separated at birth as I came to the US as a infant and I have been doing research into adoption trauma and how it can form a fearful avoidant attachment style. This is all new to me and I was hoping someone would have more info on how an adopted baby can have so much trauma and resources I can look into. I hope this makes sense, again everything is fairly new to me as I have never looked into adoption much. This research was a suggestion from my therapist.

I’m looking for information about groups of Brazilian children who were adopted in Quebec or elsewhere in North America in the early 1980s, particularly those who were adopted at an older age.
From what I’ve heard, several of these children may have experienced difficulties adjusting and integrating into their new lives, possibly due to emotional deprivation and difficult experiences in their country of origin, including corporal punishment.
I’ve heard that the Quebec government may have looked into this situation at the time, but I haven’t been able to find any documents or reports about it. I’m planning to conduct research at the Montreal Archives.
I’m posting here in the hope that someone might be familiar with this issue or be able to point me toward relevant sources.
What happened to these children? Did they receive support or assistance from the government, the DPJ (Quebec’s youth protection services), or other organizations? When exactly did they arrive in Quebec, and what measures were put in place to help them adjust and integrate?
I’m also trying to reconnect with someone who may have been adopted under these circumstances.
Any leads, documentary references, personal accounts, or information about the organizations involved at the time would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

hello. i'm an adult, 22m, but in my culture/country we all are unfortunately living in a joint family situation. currently, i live with my parents, my grandparents, and my aunts live in the same neighborhood with their families.

so my nine year old cousin is the daughter of my aunt and her husband. my aunt and i have always been close but have been struggling with friction because of her child's behavior generally being bratty. my aunt doesn't really do anything to discipline her child and she kind of spoils her. part of it is because my aunt feels guilty because my cousin is adopted. recently, my cousin has learned about her being adopted and its affected my little cousin mentally. my little cousin has begun to accuse my aunt of favoring other people over her.

anyways, my cousin was throwing a temper tantrum. the reason why was because i wanted to play on my switch and didn't let her, so it spiraled into her demanding her father and mother for a console, and sobbing about how she didn't have one. she started running all over the house sobbing and she saw my cat and ran out of her way to go and kick him.

i grabbed her and dragged her back when i realized what she had done. she started screaming and yelling and crying about how i grabbed her and how terrible i was. i explained what she did to my aunt, my aunt scolded her, but after that, my cousin kept trying to interact with my cat and running after him. i don't really know what to do because my aunt told me she scolded her, but i just don't trust my cousin anymore. i think hurting an animal in that way is really fucked up and insane, especially my cat.

my cousin is always acting this way and i'm kind of tired of it. my aunt freaks out whenever anyone tells her anything about her child's bad behavior, and she sort of engages in really odd behavior (overcompensating, maybe?) where she talks about how good her child is and how much she looks like me despite us looking nothing alike. i'm blonde and have green eyes, and she has brown hair and blue eyes.

what do i do from this point on? i was having a good relationship with my small cousin and aunt, but i just feel it's been sort of ruined because of this. whenever my cousin engages in bad behavior, i call it out, she throws a tantrum and accuses me or guilt trips her mother into it being because i 'hate' her cuz she's adopted.