Marriage is on the rocks, no idea what’s going to happen there all I know is I feel alive and clear headed which I love albeit so fucking tired all the time (possibly due to adhd meds 🤷🏻‍♂️)

Anyway wife is away for the weekend, time was (56 days ago to be precise) I’d be 6 beers deep at this stage just sitting there on my phone getting drunk.. what a fucking shit way to live that is.. instead I’m having one or two Guinness zeros and going to bed early, if that’s boring- bore me up scotty!

Hello all, fist time posting. I've recently quit drinking at the start of October with the help of Alan carr's stop drinking book, this is the longest I've been sober in about 12 years. I had a habit of getting drunk enough every night that I would easily fall asleep when I laid in bed.

Now that I'm sober I can't sleep. If I lay in bed I lay there awake until the sun comes up and end up getting an hour or two of sleep before I have to start the day. Quick naps have been essential as I am miserable. I try melatonin which helps me initially fall asleep but I'm wide awake a couple hours later and toss and turn until I fall asleep and have to wake up an hour or two later for work, etc. I have tried sleeping pills (antihistamine) which kind of work but I wake up many times during the night and then feel hung over the next day.

What methods have you all had to learn how to become normal sleepers again? It's been so tempting to just grab a drink to ease me into sleep but I don't want to start drinking again. Sorry for the long post.

Tldr: been drunk every night for over a decade. Now sober and don't know how to fall asleep. Help

Something I never thought would be possible, but a third of a year completed.

I found this subreddit incredibly hard to read whilst I was in addiction and drinking because the home truths were hard to admit.

Life is beautiful without the constant control of alcohol engulfing my brain.

IWNDWYT!

Having experienced the rewards of sobriety does not make you immune to falling all the way down that slippery slope if you dare to dangle a leg. On a foolish whim last night, I drank with my wife and our friends over billiards. As the effects of the poison began to wax over me, I tried to hang on to my mind and experience it clinically, observing myself fall. I ended up having a good night, but it was in spite of myself sabotage as opposed to because of drink, and I was very aware of the self-induced limitations, let's say.

Of course this morning I'm sick and bedridden and that sinister liar whispers, "a drink would ease this."

Not falling for it again!

I'm back at day one. But that ain't the point.

The point is this: To be aware of all of my moments, the glory, the pain, the boredom, and the flow is LIFE! I should like not to exit it again until that last permanent unconsciousness.

I am gonna be.

Iwndwyt.

Things keep going full circle, I feel so much sadness and stress in my life.

I’m 99 days sober and I wake up every day pretending I’m okay and tell myself that things will get better but they don’t.

I’m seeing a therapist, took time away from work, working out all the time… focused on getting mentally and physically better

But it always comes full circle and the realisation kicks in that i carry a huge amount of sadness, depression and anxiety around with me every minute of every day and it comes to a point.

I know what people will say. I’m just prolonging it all until tomorrow where it’ll be 10x worse and I will hate myself and the world even more but presently, that seems like a pretty good trade with how I’m feeling right now.

Don’t even know why I’m writing this, maybe hoping if I write it down and send it out into the universe that the right energy will come back my way and keep me from drinking tonight.
And I know it’s a faux comfort, a faux feeling of peace but damn any bit of peace or comfort sounds pretty nice right about now.

My boyfriend, his daughter and I drove the long distance to six flags on Thursday evening in preparation for a day full of fun and thrills for Friday (yesterday). While we were getting ready Friday morning, our power went out in the hotel. Ok, this is ok. I was finished getting ready so it wasn’t too bad.

At some point during the day my boyfriend had to return to the hotel to grab something - which meant his daughter and I were left unattended at a park that serves alcohol all over. Ok, cool, maybe I can sneak one beer or cider, she won’t know what it is and I can get a soda and food after to cover up the smell.

I fought so hard to curb that craving - ended up getting a Coke Zero with my chicken sandwich and got to soberly watch his daughter eat fried frog legs for her lunch (brave girl!!). I was so proud of her and me for facing our fears!!

Then we went back to the hotel. The power was still out and wouldn’t be until the next day (today, the day we were leaving). Ok, it’s fine, we will find a new hotel nearby and get a refund for ours. Every hotel nearby(that didn’t have bed bugs listed on yelp) was sold out. We ended up finding a hotel over 1.5 hours away - ok that’s cool, we will just drive there after the haunted event it’s fine.

When we got back to six flags the energy was bumping. There was a DJ in the marvel area, people holding their spooky themed booze drinks meandering around the park. My boyfriend’s daughter (and not so secretly him) didn’t want to go on the haunted houses so I did them alone… which meant that we were separated. My phone wasn’t going through to him - my anxiety was setting in. We had a whole park between us. How would he have known if I had a drink or two or three? But then I played the tape forward. We would be getting to our new hotel at midnight or 1 am, and my booze would be wearing off and I’d fall into a not so deep sleep to recover the 13 miles we had walked for the day. I’d then be groggy in the morning for our remaining 4 hours home. I’d feel guilty for sneaking drinks and would buy a tall can or two and a buzz ball or two and drink them that night. And then the cycle would repeat to numb my shame.

Instead, I woke up with sore feet, a sore back, but 7 days sober. I get to be present on our drive while we listen to spooky podcasts (kid friendly) or play trivia or DJ with his daughter. Instead, I have a great memory of an adventure filled 2 days. If I’ve got this, you’ve got this.

IWNDWYT.

13 weeks sober. My body is a temple.

My last drink was wednesday after having over 20 units daily probably 150 out of the last 160 days before Wednesday. I've been saying I wanted to cut down for months and months but never did. At this point the only thing keeping me not drinking is the sunk cost. Remembering how hard it was to stop even once and even for just a few days is keeping me from it. I do find that now I'm indulging on my other negative traits more without guilt (vaping, binge eating, etc) as more of a "I have to make up for the lack of alcohol by making me feel good with other things". I'm having constant headaches, a hard time sleeping, extreme brain fog (almost like I'm tipsy all the time, especially when reading a large wall of text I get this tunnel vision and stars in my eyes) and extreme lethargy. I haven't puked in a few days ever after binge eating which was a problem before. I never attributed it to alcohol I just thought it was me and overeating. Obviously a small sample size of days but I thought I had to share this somewhere.

Trying to remind myself that any time off is good time, and to be proud of what I accomplished, learned, and did during the 25 days I was just sober.

Unfortunately I spent the past 4-5 days deep in it with beer, wine, and whiskey telling myself that I’d hop back on the wagon soon, so I might as well get my moneys worth and drink a whole bunch. No surprise, I now feel like shit, sick and greasy and lost. It only took a couple days of drinking to feel like that again. I think that’s another important reminder for me, that the days of drinking “normally” waking up with a mild hangover and going about my day are over. I’ve advanced past that stage now and it does not work for me.

I found myself in the airport, sneak chugging beers in the bathroom and working out the logistics in my head of how drunk I needed to be to get through the flight. But it’s a bottomless pit and there is not enough booze in the world to fulfill me.

I worked the sobriety muscles though, learning how to say no when it was presented to me and feeling good about those choices. But of course it is truly one day at a time and tomorrow’s abstinence is not promised. And it is not determined by yesterday’s adherence. I know my life can be so much more than what it’s been, I won’t quit quitting ❤️

Felt quite tempted today. It's the first day of a two week break, and normally I'd be celebrating by getting drunk. But not today. Played some videogames, did some writing, kept quiet because my wife was asleep after working a night shift. Nice and simple.

IWNDWYT

i was sober for a week and now i’m back on day one again. I don’t know what i’m looking for in this post except somewhere to rant other than people who are sick of hearing it and chat gpt. i am a 23 year old alcoholic with 2 kids. i’m a pretty functional alcoholic i would say, i drink at night, i keep a job. but i could be a better me. i had a stillborn when i was 21 and ive kinda never been the same since. obviously im stupid and shouldn’t have been having kids so young but what can i do now, my partner and me both turned to drinking when our baby died and i did end up getting pregnant again & we had a healthy son. we both still were drinking after we had our son and he had a manic episode and completely went off the rails and idk cheated on me, he’s been sober since and he doesn’t do anything wrong if anything he’s accomplishing so much sober, he’s a better father and partner and i’m falling behind. i don’t really want to be in this relationship anymore im disconnected, but i have no clue what to do i was sober for a week thinking that’s maybe why i hate my life, and it didn’t change much , and i still didn’t want to be in the relationship, it’s like i do but i don’t i’m back and forth. i drank one glass of wine last night so i wasn’t too drunk vs the normal pint of tequila i usually drink. but im not happy with my life, im stuck, i don’t have enough money to support my kids on my own, but i don’t like my life. i constantly daydream about how i could be living, things i could do differently. during his addiction i got into a massive argument with his family and they hate me now. it’s like the life i dreamed of is ruined, i wont have a wedding with both sides of our family happy, i wont have a house with a backyard for a long time, i dont have anything i want in life and im stuck. im watching all my friends get married and engaged and it hurts. i live in low income apartments, it’s embarrassing, it’s embarrassing by the time i can probably afford something on my own that my kids won’t need a backyard to play anymore. i sometimes think my children are better off without me. i try my hardest, i have them in so many activities, we go do fun stuff, but im lacking, and i hate myself and wish i did better in life for me and for them. i guess im just ranting. i just hate that alcohol played a part in destorying parts of me and my partners relationship. my self confidence is tanked. I just really don’t enjoy being here anymore. I wont hurt myself or anything bc my kids but life is hard

Basically the title says it all. I got hammered before I left for this work event (an evening not-work event) and then got even more hammered while there. I don't think I said anything too stupid, but my boss drove us there and now I'm afraid it's really obvious I was smashed. I'm not getting fired or anything like that; I'm just mortified. :\ Today is rough so far.

Ok I quit drinking about 2 months ago, I haven’t changed anything in my lifestyle. I eat the same amount of food, I would drink sometimes maybe 3 beers and have 2-3 ounces of bourbon some days. Since I quit I’m losing weight, I’ve lost 17lbs in about two months, does quitting change metabolic rate? I quit because my throat was hurting and had that checked and was silent reflux, had tons of bloodwork and everything came back clear.

Went to a birthday party last night with some good friends. They kept offering me drinks - I said no all night and I thought it was easy enough, until one of them literally put her cocktail in my hand and said “that’s a treat for you!” It got REAL AWK when I gave it back to her. I worried I’d made it weird but a kind friend rescued me to tell her “she’s driving!” Y’all I was so grateful … when I got home I collapsed into tears - I didn’t realize how much work it had been to keep it together. Happy sober Saturday during Sober October friends ❤️ you’re doing a lot of invisible work and you’re not alone

pls some nice words

Hi all,

I am very early on in my sobriety journey, only 11 days. I have always been an avid player of video games and tabletop games like Warhammer. Over the years I've made drinking part of these hobbies to the point where they are linked in my mind.

I would like to "reclaim" these hobbies. Maybe that isn't the right word, but I would like to get to the point where they are sober hobbies for me again. I always enjoyed doing them even before I paired them with drinking, so I am hopeful I can get back to that.

The issue is I am nervous. I have associated gaming and painting models with drinking for so long that I am worried trying them sober will cause some cravings and cause me to slip up.

Has anyone been through something like this? Were you eventually successfully able to reclaim your hobbies and make them sober activities again? Any suggestions from learned experiences? Appreciate the help!

Like the title states. I’d like to hear how your life has improved since quitting drinking.

I’ll start.

- Lost 45 lbs, I’m almost back to what I weighed at 22, I’m a 36 year old man
- back in the gym and enjoying it
- My skin has never looked better
- I’ve read more books
- I’m a far more present father
- I haven’t had a serious argument with my wife in months
- I no longer wake up in the morning feeling dread. Dread about what I did the evening before, or fear of facing the day to come

I want to hear about your success, big or small.

Does anyone else get this?

I spend all week looking forward to weekend, even though its only mundane stuff im going to do as a rule, cleaning, gardening, shopping etc

today I got up at 6, walked my dog, an hour and a quarter fell back asleep, showered etc went to town did a shop, fell asleep again, now the days pretty much over, i havent cleaned, i havent prepped the food I bought today.

Im a year in, im not sure if its a force of habit from 20 years of lieIng on my sofa hating myself, thats just what i do? I actually do more in the evening after work, i do not have this issue weeknights.

I dont know if thats a thing

Ohh I didn’t think I’d feel or see a difference. But I do in my face and I’m refreshed. I’ve been staying focused by overly focusing on work, college and all my other responsibilities. I have kids so they keep me on my toes , I’m so worried about when I’m alone . That will be the real test. I have everything to occupy myself but it will be hard I’m sure.

Big milestone for me. Used to drink a bottle of 375 ml bacardi everyday. I can see improvements in my face, wish it was more! Hopefully I get more encouraged along the way!

IWDWYTD!

Almost a month sober and honestly I had started feeling incredible. I was finding joy in my hobbies again and hanging out with people. But in the past week and a half, I’ve started feeling very flat, struggling to motivate myself and feeling really tired a lot. I don’t feel sad or depressed exactly but I feel kind of lethargic and unsatisfied. Anyone else got this around this time?

Last night we had front row seats at a great concert and stopped by our favorite local bar and grill after to hear more music. I had a lot of club soda and water but no alcohol. So many benefits!

1. I remember all of the concert. So much fun!

2. No headache today. Enough said.

3. The scale moved in the right direction this morning. Yay! 11 more pounds to go.

4. Best of all...I didn't wake up until 8:30 am. There is no sweeter feeling than to wake up with light in the room and realize you slept all night.

5. Extra bonus: we were the top scorer in the bar trivia. Had never actually played along on my phonevbefore but it's a great way to entertain yourself and not think about drinking!

IWNDWYT

22 year old bi dude with autism ocd and dissociation I used to be a really happy funny drunk I'd either be emotional and feel normal like actually feel normal no anxiety or anything it felt like deep meditating now when I'm drunk i just feel angry and i end up being argumentative paranoid i hate it honestly i just want to be drunk and be emotional like i was before I've been drinking much more since i was 19 but yeah i drink to get drunk i can't just have a couple drinks i have to have like 10 cans of something and if that's not enough i chug a couple buzzballs

My spouse and I are in our early 50’s. We’ve been binge drinking together forever. We’ll go five days without drinking and then binge on the weekends. Sometimes to the point of one or both of us blacking out or falling asleep. The friends we hang with also binge on weekends. Every get together always involves alcohol. I stopped drinking a year and a half ago. Spouse was very supportive of this and she also cut down on her drinking drastically. Now when she does drink she says she’ll have one or two and ends up binging. I have expressed my concerns with her inability to drink responsibly. She knows how much it worries me as she has fallen a few times, passed out at dinner, etc. She is convinced that she can drink moderately, and does for a few months and then falls back to binging. I’m trying not to be judgmental, but this is getting to the point where she needs to stop drinking altogether or we’re going to have major relationship problems. Whenever she’s drinking, I feel like I’m the parent having to monitor her and make comments when I think she’s going overboard. This is not how I want to spend our time together being the drink monitor. At this point, I don’t know if I should let let it go and hope that she realizes she needs to quit or continue to press the issue, cause conflict and potentially impact our relationship.

The Milwaukee Brewers completed the sweep of the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium the other night..
The Brewers retreated to their clubhouse for the obligatory celebration consisting of champagne and beer flying all over the clubhouse etc.. PARTY!!!
Brewers manager Pat Murphy was invited back onto the field by the Fox broadcast team for an interview..
as he sat down with them he apparently off-camera said something to the effect that the clubhouse was so loud he couldn't hear anything..
a guy on the broadcast team, gesturing to the thermos container Murphy had brought with him and put on the table in front of him responded, "..after this drink you REALLY won't be able to hear us!"..
gestures again to the thermos and asks, "..what's in there Pat?"..
and Murphy says, "..uh, it's carbonated water.. I haven't drank, um, 1984.. is the last time I touched alcohol.."
the broadcast team obviously unaware that Murphy lived a sober life, presumed he was getting loaded in the clubhouse after the sweep clincher, because, well, when we win we celebrate right?.. and celebrating means getting drunk right?.. etc..
anyway Pat Murphy turned the tables in a polite dignified way, and the broadcast team, a little embarrassed I think, quickly then switched gears and moved on with the interview..
anyway I thought of all the kids who might be watching..
pretty cool.. hey kids, it's perfectly ok to play and win and celebrate without getting hammered..