I’m 22. I used to smoke weed, but I stopped because I wanted to be able to drive without worrying about it. Instead, I turned to alcohol.

I started drinking heavily at 20, whenever I got the chance. At my worst, I could drink up to a 700ml bottle of vodka a day.

Back then, I was physically fit and had a good social life. Now, two years later, I’ve gained 10–15 kg, I’m physically weaker, and I feel mentally exhausted.
I sometimes think about how different things might have been if I’d never replaced weed with alcohol. Cannabis isn’t harmless, but I felt it helped my mood back then.

What I really don’t understand is how alcohol is so normalised in our society despite the damage it can cause. People are shocked by so many things, yet drinking a substance that can destroy your health is considered completely normal.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to regulate cannabis and treat alcohol with much more caution? I’m not saying weed is harmless, but I find the double standard strange.

I’d genuinely like to hear what people who’ve struggled with alcohol think about this.

22 year old bi dude with autism ocd and dissociation I used to be a really happy funny drunk I'd either be emotional and feel normal like actually feel normal no anxiety or anything it felt like deep meditating now when I'm drunk i just feel angry and i end up being argumentative paranoid i hate it honestly i just want to be drunk and be emotional like i was before I've been drinking much more since i was 19 but yeah i drink to get drunk i can't just have a couple drinks i have to have like 10 cans of something and if that's not enough i chug a couple buzzballs

So roughly two months back, I wrote my first post about getting my shit together after my last binge and getting locked out of my house by my wife. I wrote about pissing my self on my dads sofa, about how I felt like a miserable wreck how I wanted to save my relationship. Not going to elaborate details to keep this short. After spending 2 months away from my wife, my eyes have opened. It was actually a toxic situation a bad relationship with a controling stubborn woman who only thought about advancing her career and kept me as a sidekick someone to pick up the thrash when her risky financal decisions came down on us. She worked on her image and personal gain while I was stuck handling the burden, now I see alcohol was my escape from the drama and problems she created, I never wanted to be at home with her I had to drink if we were spending time together. 2 months away im sober im working out I quit our company that we had together I have alot of interviews lined up. She went crazy on me for essentialy saying im happy and I dont want to go back to her, I ended up in the ER with a panic attack after seeing her true self, but I am good now. Im content happy and in a safe place.

This message is for anyone whos in a bad relationship and your trying to escape, put down the bottle your eyes will open.

IWNDWYT

Yesterday I turned 34 and had a mimosa with a friend after almost two years of no alcohol.

I told myself I was going to go to a meeting tonight. I’ve been kind of white knuckling this whole thing I guess. Feels extreme to say, I’m a binge drinker so it’s really just… catch me on the wrong day with the right card.

The weekdays are fine. I had trained myself that way for a while. Weekends are when we’re allowed to let loose. So dumb. Like shaking up a soda bottle and then ripping the bitch open after injecting it with liquified mentos.

So. It’s been nearly 50 days. I have friends who know I’m doing this, my mom knows. I’ve been going out and doing my “usual” thing, just no drinking. It’s fine except everyone else is fucking plastered and funnily enough primarily remember the really fun drunk who got us free drinks - not the psycho who screams and kicks at people when too intoxicated and inconvenienced.

So it’s been a little tough to enjoy myself when my buddies (who I’m sure really do mean well) are like “are you done with your streak?” No babe, I’m actively trying not to jump because it’s 7pm, we’re somewhere loud and I LOVE it but now I’m thinking about a fun shot and how fun it’d be to just get riiiight there. And see what happens.

So that’s not good. I need to find an in person community that I can like… maybe talk to where that just doesn’t come up at all. Or it does but not in that way. I told myself I’d go to this like… specific meeting. But then I got there and I only saw like 4 cars and couldn’t decide where to park. Psyched myself out and drove for a bit before parking…. Right in front of a bar. Stared at it. Knew I would not go in there to drink per se but the urge was there to. Just… go in and see what happens.

Felt so weird about it alll and then drove home blasting music. Now in my apartment, a j, more music and just… feeling alone. And kinda kicking myself for not just DOING. I guess I feel weird about it all. Which I didn’t realize I did until I got there. I was honestly driving there with this… like yay I’m gonna make friends!! And then I was like wait that’s not what this is??? And then I just kinda got way too into my head.

This was all in the span of like 35 mins. The meeting is literally just ending maybe.

I need to go tho. The alone time is driving me insane and I just feel like I wanna talk about this without being reminded how much less uptight or worried I am when I was drinking. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. This is so fun!!!!

IWNDWYT … and can you let me know where you’re doing that so I can swing on by 😭

PRO of all of this, is just remembering how much music really does take me away. I truly see a little movie with every song. Anyways. Yea. The above.

Before u comment “a good book”, just don’t. I read! I swear I read! And I do art, and I have friends and family. And a life!

But I also just really enjoyed releasing with alcohol. I can’t do that now, I get that.

And I’m not looking to get into something harder like coke or heroin.

But I’d like a release. I smoke weed for chronic pain reasons, so it’s not rlly a release for me. I thought abt trying kava, but the yogi tea brand did nothing for me. Psychedelics are also too hard for me.

Is there anything I can have that is that release without alcohol/ without something harder than alcohol
Or is this smth I just have to get over…. :(

Sorry if this is an annoying question for a sober community. I’m struggling with staying sober.

And today’s Friday. I want something. Fuck i want something this weekend, anything, to make me feel a little less stressed just for the night. I feel like I’m going nuts!

IWNDWYT

Hi everyone, I posted this about a month ago: Might be the perfect day for it...

Anyway, today is 10/16/26, which also adds up 10+16=26, and makes something in my brain sigh with satisfaction.

It feels really good to be sober, and it also feels like it's going to last this time. Thanks for all of the advice and motivation that you gave me since my first attempt last year.

My spouse and I are in our early 50’s. We’ve been binge drinking together forever. We’ll go five days without drinking and then binge on the weekends. Sometimes to the point of one or both of us blacking out or falling asleep. The friends we hang with also binge on weekends. Every get together always involves alcohol. I stopped drinking a year and a half ago. Spouse was very supportive of this and she also cut down on her drinking drastically. Now when she does drink she says she’ll have one or two and ends up binging. I have expressed my concerns with her inability to drink responsibly. She knows how much it worries me as she has fallen a few times, passed out at dinner, etc. She is convinced that she can drink moderately, and does for a few months and then falls back to binging. I’m trying not to be judgmental, but this is getting to the point where she needs to stop drinking altogether or we’re going to have major relationship problems. Whenever she’s drinking, I feel like I’m the parent having to monitor her and make comments when I think she’s going overboard. This is not how I want to spend our time together being the drink monitor. At this point, I don’t know if I should let let it go and hope that she realizes she needs to quit or continue to press the issue, cause conflict and potentially impact our relationship.

Having previously had a few rough benders involving vodka and other spirits I was determined to stay off spirits. I had a period of time where I was home alone for a week so I told myself no spirits only beers. And not just any beer light beer. Specifically bud light cans at 440ml a can and 1.5 units per can I figured the sheer volume it would take to replicate a bottle of spirit would mean I would give up far before I got too drunk.

I ordered a box of 18 figuring I would drink six at most before bed. Instead I finished the whole 18 pack and then drunkenly ordered another 18 pack finishing all but 4 from the second box. 32 cans of bud light. 48 units of alcohol. 14 LITRES of beer. Almost 4 GALLONS of bud light. In ten hours.

I don’t even know how I managed to drink so much. I didn’t even think it was humanly possible. I checked to see if maybe I threw out or spilled any of it. No. All cans crumpled in my bedroom.

Needless to say I went through the worst hangover/withdrawal of my life. Far worse than any I had with spirits. This was a while ago and scared me out of wanting to touch anything.

I thought I was safe with light beer. But the alcoholic mind knows no bounds when it comes to drinking. In a weird way I’m glad this happened because not only does the horrible withdrawal stick with me, it goes to show NOTHING with alcohol is safe for me to consume.

Please somebody tell me they’ve drunk this much before or more, I feel like some monster. While I am 6’4 I am only around 160lbs so I don’t even know how I was able to consume so much. Granted I was pouring two at a time into a glass and chugging them but still. IWNDWYT

Roommate called in a 5150 on me after I was unresponsive 8 days ago. Got put in a white room in the hospital with a bed and tiny tv and told to just lay down but without real stimulation I was squirming around, laying my bare face on the cold floor, pacing, squatting, anything BUT laying down.

After 4 days of absolute Hell I was shipped to the psych ward in a different facility. While there I cannot believe the amount of insane shit and crazy people I saw, wrote most of it down to pass the time, even made doodles of the characters I witnessed and I plan on writing some kind of book about my experience.

It sucked. Nobody was provided deodorant, no nail clippers or way to trim my beard, we had to write using flexible pens, no shoestrings, toilet was bare metal-to-ass... I had to beg for new underwear and proper clothes instead of scrubs that constantly ripped at the crotch and I somehow managed to get shoes that were just small enough to fit in instead of grippy socks.

I was constantly stepping on eggshells; it was genuinely adult preschool, I have so many stories from only 4 days and there are people that've been there for months or multiple times. I did get to make a really cool bead bracelet though! Still wearing it right now, it felt stupid in the beginning but it was nice to feel like a child for 30 minutes.

Fuck alcohol, I am done, the trauma from this last week has finally done it.

I’m looking for some motivation. Not that you just feel more positive every day, or learned how to sew, but what real lessons did you discover about yourself since being sober?

Thanks for even considering.

EDIT: Just want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journeys, lessons learned, and encouragement. I’ve read every comment and I feel this is really helping me want to stay sober and keep moving forward ❤️❤️❤️

I really need someone to talk to about this.

I got drunk with some people. I got really drunk. After a point I dont remember anything. Next day when I woke up, I got some very very disturbing news. I knew one of the people in the group who had a crush on me, I tried to kiss her last night and she said no. Then later on we made out.

Then I kissed another one of the girls there who was also apparently reluctant but she kissed me back. I also told her i really like her.

Apart from that I said some bad things about a very close friend of mine who i absolutely love and even subconsciously I dont harbour any bad thoughts about them. And i have never bitched about them before.

I really need help. I did not mean anything i said or did. I am appalled as to how I could even do such a thing. I have been drinking for years and I have never disturbed anyone's boundaries. My own boundaries have been assaulted, I cant believe I made people uncomfortable. I dont recognize myself. For the past one year whenever i drink, i dont remember things. What is the explanation for me doing things that i dont recognize in the morning? like how could i do that. I am having a hard time living with myself.

I’ve written before about my husband having an affair. This year has been a painful struggle and he’s been less forthcoming and understanding of my pain. It has been a real struggle to stay sober but I’ve managed! Kept up my hiking and relationships and photography which has helped.

Today after months of poor communication and him not giving me any info only telling me what it wasn’t never what it was, he’s going to tell me everything. I’m so anxious.
Ive needed this group more than I’ve checked in, and that hasn’t helped.
He told me he can’t remember but thinks they met on this sub years ago. I don’t actually believe him, but it’s made it an uncomfortable place for me.

I hope I hear the whole truth and he’s not going to be hostile towards me and my pain or blame me. That aside, I am worried about my sobriety during getting some honesty and hopefully accountability from him.

This has really taken so much out of me. Alcohol would only take what’s left. I don’t know how I’ll handle the info or how he presents it but I know I do it without alcohol. Wish me luck IWNDWYT❤️

This NA beer just became available in my local supermarket. Very nice taste and not flat compared to the original beer. Really recommend it if you like dark beer.

Pretty much what the title says. I’ve been battling this disease for 15 years and finally laying down the shovel. I’m going to inpatient rehab for 30 days and have never been before.

I worked with some great people who are getting me into a nice facility at no cost due to a grant.

What should I expect?

Myself ive been just cooking, playing on pc and also went for a long walk in the brisk fall air.

I have never posted here before, only lurked, but I am finally ready to unsubscribe and move on from recovery spaces. Before I leave, I wanted to drop my story in case another quiet lurker needs to read it today, because posts like this were always my favorite when I first started.

My last drink was December 31, 2024. I had already been cutting back for a while and decided New Year's Eve would be one last good time before closing the chapter for good. I didn't black out or get wasted. It was just a fun night, and when it was over, I was done.

I had no idea at the time that quitting right before 2025 started would end up saving my life, because the year that followed threw everything imaginable at me:

• Doing hospice care for my 20-year-old cat until he passed away.
• Going through a brutal, high-conflict divorce that went all the way to trial.
• Surviving a major Reduction in Force (RIF) at work in the middle of the chaos.
• Getting into a bad motorcycle crash that broke my leg, required multiple surgeries over the following months, and forced me to relearn how to walk.
• Being assaulted by my brother later that year, having to get a restraining order, and cutting off toxic family and friends who showed their true colors while I was down.

Any single one of those events could have been an excuse to start drinking again. If I had still been drinking when 2025 hit, I honestly don't know how I would have made it through.

Instead, staying sober allowed me to actually face all of it head-on and rebuild my life from the ground up:

• While recovering from surgery, I committed to the gym and just hit a full year without missing a week of workouts.
• I lost over 50 pounds and am in the best shape of my life.
• I taught myself how to cook and bake from scratch instead of relying on takeout, and I barely ever eat at restaurants anymore.
• My home is peaceful, my career and finances are thriving, and my life is a complete 180 from where I was two years ago.

This sub helped a lot in the beginning just reading other people's perspectives. Today, not drinking isn't something I even think about anymore. It is just my normal baseline, so it feels like the right time to move on.

If you are quietly lurking here wondering if it is worth it, or if you can survive life punching you in the mouth without alcohol: you can, and the life waiting on the other side is better than you think.

Thanks for everything, and wishing you all the best.

IWNDWYT

Edit: I want to add to how I started off because it definitely wasn't effortless. I had real cravings for months and bridged the gap by crushing cases of NA beer whenever the urge hit, which eventually tapered down to seltzer water, and then to needing nothing at all once the habit loop finally broke.

I'm still at work, but I need to type this out and get this nagging feeling out of my head.

A guy I work along side, not a coworker but a different contractor I'm friendly with, is taking off early to go golfing. I was near where personal vehicles are parked and he waves me over to his car. As I approach he gets out and has two shot glasses in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, with a big grin on his face.

"Weekend's here man!" he says. I laugh and tell him (remind him) I'm sober, and he pours himself a shot and downs it. That's the end of the interaction, but just the beginning of the cravings and nagging stirring around in my brain. Even my mouth starts to water thinking about that second shot glass.

I was strong in the moment politely refusing the shot, but shortly after thoughts of alcohol are rampant in my mind. By the end of typing this out and checking how long my streak is, the thoughts and cravings have subsided.

Its weird because I've been out to the bar after work with people and I'll have a few NA beers while everyone else drinks real ones and it's never hit me like this, this hard.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my story. I'm alright now and will not be drinking today. I hope you all have a great weekend staying sober!

IWNDWYT

The Milwaukee Brewers completed the sweep of the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium the other night..
The Brewers retreated to their clubhouse for the obligatory celebration consisting of champagne and beer flying all over the clubhouse etc.. PARTY!!!
Brewers manager Pat Murphy was invited back onto the field by the Fox broadcast team for an interview..
as he sat down with them he apparently off-camera said something to the effect that the clubhouse was so loud he couldn't hear anything..
a guy on the broadcast team, gesturing to the thermos container Murphy had brought with him and put on the table in front of him responded, "..after this drink you REALLY won't be able to hear us!"..
gestures again to the thermos and asks, "..what's in there Pat?"..
and Murphy says, "..uh, it's carbonated water.. I haven't drank, um, 1984.. is the last time I touched alcohol.."
the broadcast team obviously unaware that Murphy lived a sober life, presumed he was getting loaded in the clubhouse after the sweep clincher, because, well, when we win we celebrate right?.. and celebrating means getting drunk right?.. etc..
anyway Pat Murphy turned the tables in a polite dignified way, and the broadcast team, a little embarrassed I think, quickly then switched gears and moved on with the interview..
anyway I thought of all the kids who might be watching..
pretty cool.. hey kids, it's perfectly ok to play and win and celebrate without getting hammered..

As of today, it has been five years since I quit drinking

Ten years ago, I thought I couldn't quit. It wasn't until my health started to fail in a significant way that I knew things had to change.

Thank you to this community for being my main support network over the years. I wouldn't have succeeded without you.

The good since I quit:

1. My memory has largely recovered.

2. I have lost significant weight and puffiness.

3. No more gout flare-ups.

4. My emotions have largely returned. I can find enough enjoyment in activities and music to make it worth my time. I no longer need a beer buzz to feel super happy or sad.

5. I am significantly healthier in general.

6. 'Will there be alcohol?' is no longer the question that determines when and what I do each day.

7. I found new hobbies to replace the ones lost when I quit drinking.

8. I will likely make it to retirement and may have a normal-length life.

9. I no longer wake up with anxiety after sleeping 3-5 hours every night.

10. I am saving so much money by not buying beer every day or two and having alcohol be 25-50% of my restaurant expenses.

11. I haven't embarrassed myself due to being sloppy or a jerk while drinking since I quit.

The bad since I quit drinking:

1. I lost some friends I enjoyed hanging out with. Our interests don't overlap in the same way they used to. In general, I don't socialize as much as I used to.

2. I really miss beer sometimes.

3. I know there is long-term organ and memory damage. It will never be the same as if I never drank. 20 years of drinking will likely contribute to my death.

4. Life feels less exciting, although still okay—nothing like the first year, when everything in life seemed bland and gray.

IWNDWYT.

After 5 months of not drinking, everything finally got so good. I finally got a place of my own, I had a full time job with tons of overtime. I felt like I could handle it. When I finally picked up the bottle again I completely blacked out for 2 weeks straight. I called out of work and the crazy part is that they were willing to work with me as long as I kept checking in. I was too drunk to remember. My husband tells me that he tried to get me to go back to work and I flat out said no, that I shouldn’t have to work. We ran out of money, right before rent was due so now we’re scrambling to make ends meet. Bless his heart he tells me that everything will be okay because I always bounce back but obviously I can’t ever touch the shit again. I fucking cut off all of my hair and don’t remember it. I even tried to stop cold turkey and for the first time had visual and audible hallucinations. The thing I remember most vividly about that experience was how the voices were so fucking mean and vile. I just remember walking around my house trying to stay awake because I knew the nightmares were coming and I wasn’t used to them like I was when I drank for 4 years straight. My mind couldn’t handle it. So I stayed awake and eventually when I went to sleep I felt my heartbeat slow down and woke up coughing and gagging. I literally felt my pulse rising as I regained consciousness. I’ve hit rock bottom. Again. And this time I have everything to lose. The only thing keeping me going is my amazing husband. He’s been here pretty much throughout the worst of everything I’ve been through in my adult life. And I deeply feel like I don’t deserve him. But he tells me it’s just a disease. He knows it’s not me. The anxiety of all of this is eating me alive. I feel like I’ve officially fried my brain and I can’t get out of this. I’m sorry for the rant I just wanted some place to vent. This is extremely eye opening. Nothing like I’ve ever known before. This is it. It has to stop.

Today I celebrate 11 years sober from alcohol!! Ahhh, the gratitude is oozing!
before I got sober, my life was a fucking wreck. My goal of drinking was to black out every time since it was the closest thing to dying without actually dying. I was so young when I started drinking heavily (just 15!) and spent the next 3 years in constant chaos. I was lonely & hurting with a pain I didn’t even understand how to process. I went to rehab for 30 days & relapsed shortly after I got out. I realized the rehab stint was for everyone else & not for me. Well, when I relapsed… I’m not sure what clicked but something did. I didn’t even finish the beer in my hand (shocking!) & decided in that moment, sitting on that curb outside, I never wanted to drink again.

I went to AA meetings literally all day for the first month. I’m talking I got dropped off at 8am & picked up at 10pm. I didn’t want to fail so I committed as hard as I could. Fast forward 11 years later & im engaged, I have two amazing tiny humans who changed my life for the better, I’m about to graduate with my masters degree in clinical mental health counseling with a 3.93 GPA & pursue a career as a therapist, and I’m happy. Even when life is low (and we know life be lifeing right?) I’m happy that I can experience it sober. My worst days sober are still better than my best days belligerently hammered. Feeling gratitude today. Thanks all 🤍

edit: wow! Thank you guys so much. I did not expect all this love, but it really means alot. I’m rooting for everyone in their healing journey!

I’ve made it to day 3 of my sobriety.

https://i.postimg.cc/RCnT0Cqq/IMG-1394.jpg

I have completely let myself go. I used to look normal, like someone you wouldn’t think twice about on the street.

Now I am a land whale. I have gained so much weight from drinking four pints a day and binge eating.

- 4 pints a day.
- some Gatorade to heal the hangover (more calories)
- junk food to binge eat while drinking (often KFC)
- sugary drinks and soda because I hate myself.

I feel like I’m too far gone. I don’t even dare to weigh myself these days.

I need to help myself, and I need to want to be sober to be sober. But I feel like I also need some external help from experienced people.

I’m so lost.