this is a wild story i will go ahead and say. im sharing it for a reason so i hope at least one person will be able to help.
im pretty young and ended up hooking up
with someone 15 years older than me. the guy seemed unique at first. his humor was super dark but some jokes were good. he told me he would buy me a plan b. he took me to burger king after hooking up instead. while leaving, he gets a call and his emotions after that call were just insane. he threw his phone and slammed the door, started to cuss me out and his driving was genuinely beyond terrifying, i have never been afraid to lose my life like this before. he said he would come back an hour later with a plan b and he has not talked to me since. i asked him not to (you know what inside me) and then he said he had a breeding kink as he came. this guy has not responded to me. im pretty sure i’m blocked by him. he did not give me his real name so im terrified and i dont have the money for that. but i just want to hack this guy, find his address and let him know he has to pay some type of price for lying and ghosting, hoping he wont do this again to anyone else. i know this story is really bad and i shoulda been smarter. but if anyone read this and youre able to help, please help. i understand this isnt rape but there was still no consent to come in me or to be unprotected. idk what to do

I’m ashamed to even post this, I feel dirty, like a whore and barely have memory. I was extremely drunk and 2 guys who knew my son drove me home safely. I never drink so this isn’t like me, but I was very depressed and wanted to let loose. I got home, I could barely function, I remember being undressed and telling the 2 boys I got it from here but they insisted getting me inside. I remember saying no please stop, and in and out. I was penetrate and very sore, they didn’t wear protection.
My son who 20 lives with me, he was at his girlfriend late and told me this morning he saw my naked with my legs open on the couch, then he proceed to tell me, he saw a video of his 2 friends having intercourse just an hour ago when he was at school, he plays basketball and 2 player on his team filmed it. My son called me a slut and he is hurting because team mates are throwing this in his face. I haven’t seen the video but I was verbal and it’s embarrassing not having memory. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to file a report, my problem is, I feel like my son will really hate me if I drag this out. I was drunk and that alone should warrant no consent. If anyone else had an experience similarly please give me direction. I can’t stop crying and having bad anxiety.

In January i was raped and beat, was harassed and threatened for months afterwards. I decided to press charges and the police agreed and opened my case then never spoke to me again for months and they now finally called me back saying they interviewed him and the people who harassed me but i had no dna evidence so they are closing my case. All i want is justice instead ive been humiliated on social media and lost many friends and people in my life because they choose to take his word over mine. im at a loss and am just having to accept he will walk free and continue to do so to other women (which he has done, not just to women but GIRLS.)

i feel disgusting and dirty. i found out at 4am and it’s currently 6am and i don’t know how to move on or what to think or how to go about this. can someone please help

I’ve never really shared my story publicly before, but I feel like I’m finally at a point where I want to talk about it.
When I was 18, I went on one of my first nights out clubbing. I met three men, and after the club closed, I went back to where they were staying. My friend had gone home and I felt safe as they were a similar age to me
The night became a blur, I was incoherent and I remember waking up in a bed with no clothes on. One after another, without my consent these men had full sex with me. When they was done they told me to leave.
For years, I didn’t fully process what had happened. It wasn’t until around ten years later that I really began to understand the experience as rape.
I’m older now, and I’ve been through a lot of healing and personal growth. I think part of that healing for me is finally being able to talk about it without feeling ashamed.
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe just to be heard, or to connect with people who understand what it’s like to process something so many years later.
Thank you for reading

​

I made a post on this subreddit a few months back asking for clarification on a situation I thought was rape. After some therapy, talking to several friends, and a lot of journaling, I realized that not only was I raped, but assaulted multiple times by my partner. I've been itching with anger for weeks now over it. I skipped so many events these past few weeks because I don't want to run into him or any of his friends.

I've been talking to my family about it as well. They've been supportive overall, with the exception of my violently misogynistic father, but that's a discussion for another post or therapy session. As I've been telling people, I've decided to start telling people within the friend group he frequents. Again, for the most part, I've been met with support and disgust for his actions. One of his friends however, was not so understanding.

The wild thing is she reached out to me first feigning support. My best friend told her what happened between J and I. J's friend (let's call her Berry) reached out asking how she could help. I told her what happened between us, and she took a few days to get back to me. When she did respond, she said she could talk to J, let him know how he hurt me, then he could write a letter showing remorse for his actions.

I (obviously) told her that that was inappropriate and she was overstepping by assuming what I wanted to do. She basically did a complete 360 on me and came back with a long ass response saying she talked to another woman he used to sleep with and how *she* never had any experience like that with J. She ran her fingers across her keyboard to tell me that she and J used to sleep together and how he had treated her with respect the whole time. Now is a good time to mention that Berry is white, J is biracial, and I am fully black.

In her response she said she believed me but didn't "understand" how he could've done something like that. I was livid. I told her to get a grip and that her statements meant she very clearly didn't believe me. If belief is only conditional to being a certain level of awful from someone you don't know, then that's not belief. That's conditional sympathy.

She never responded to any of it, but took it upon herself to:

1. Spread lies about what happened between J and I, calling it "kink gone wrong" and "a miscommunication"

2. Go on vacation with him and post a picture with him saying how much she loved her friends

Again, I'm livid. I've bitched about it in therapy, cried to my friends about it, screamed at my father for his reaction to my rape, and written entry after entry about how much I hate him and myself for what happened. I want him, both of them really, to have a consequence.

Neither of them are safe people for women, especially black women, to be around. They're both incredibly popular within the queer community on my side of town. He's a DJ and has been getting shows on my side of town lately too. I've been avoiding going out but hate that I feel the need to put my life on hold because of their shit ass actions. I've typed up a post detailing what he did to me and get so close to posting it every day.

I keep having to unfollow people when I see they're at his shows. I've blocked Berry and J on everything. I blocked his best friend to avoid any further backlash, but it's still not enough. I'm sick of being told to "wait for the universe" or "God will handle it in time". I don't believe in God and the universe moves too slow. I want so badly to hit him where it hurts, his reputation.

I know I can't physically hurt him or even spit in his eye should I see him in public again. I don't want to see him ever again. But I do want to make him suffer and afraid to run into me the way I'm scared of running into him. Not because I'm scared of what he'll do, but because of what I'll do. Sacrificing my comfort and being the "bigger person" shouldn't be the response to being raped. People are so scared of a woman (well anybody) who comes forward because it means they have to examine their own thoughts and actions in regard to consent and sexual violence. My own mother, who told me shes been raped too, told me to not say anything and to "wait for God". I can't. I simply can't.

This is getting long, and I'm at work typing this. Does anyone whose come forward about their rapist have any advice? A friend of mine who was raped and made a post about it says it did make her feel a lot better. After getting into a screaming match about it with my dad and the shit with Berry, I'm really not afraid of what anyone could say in defense of J.

In the wake of the Cornell terror, I just can't stay quiet anymore. Rapists deserve consequences, no matter what those may be. Not silent survivors being told to quiet our anger lest we offend someone.

I have only posted twice to Reddit.

Both about my abuses.

I have 13 followers and a few gooners in chat.

I know there are victims worse off than me, and getting poached for opening up is entirely disrespectful and disgusting.

This app sucks my ass, but I hope people get by okay, dealing w all this.

Well hello reddit, im back again to get andwers to questions im tol embarassed to ask. I dont know if actually got raped, we were both girls and we were both 10, she forced me to watch porn and forced me to show porn to our friend that was there with us. At that time i was desperate to find a girlfriend because i finnally figured out that i was lesbian and my dad recentley left so i wanted to feel more loved as my mom was going trough it….she asked if i wanted to recreate the things we saw in the videos and pushed me to say yes, wasnt that hard to make me say yes cause i was (still am) hypersexual. Even tough i enjoyed it at first and we were both fully clothed i wantwd zo stop and wjem i asked her if we could stop she just made me go on top instead..the only reason we couldnt continue is cause we heard my mom coming upstairs so she left me. I dont even know if it counts as rape or just sexual assault since we were botj fully clothed. I told it to our class gc but nobody paid attention and then SHE acused ME of raping her and blaming it on her. I never said she raped me, i only recentley realized what had happened that day. All i said was that weve had sex because i was mad at her for lying and causing a scene (once again.) Especially cause rhis all happened a few days after ive been sexually assaulted at a bus stop with a weirdo trying to touch me between my legs and trying to take off my hoodie..she pretended she saw the guy again and took off his clothes in front of her then started ti chase her, and that years ago the same man tried to kidnap her. Of course it was all lies but she tried to make feel bad for her because “she had it worse” i feel horrible. Its been years and only now have i realized i may have been raped but im still unsure if it counts..

Warning for severe generational trauma and abuse.

I made a post here yesterday, but it was flagged by the automod. I moved it to r/TrueOffMyChest for anyone curious about what happened. I was in a really bad place when I wrote it so I apologize if I sound incoherent or hysterical. I don't want to go into detail again or spam this subreddit with reposts, so TL;DR:

I was beaten, humiliated, and orally raped by my grandfather two years ago. While I can't speak to his intentions, I've surmised that it was related to me being a lesbian and tomboy-ish based on some of the slurs he called me, and the fact that he was very unhappy when I first came out.

I've remained quiet the entire time, which means he remained freely in proximity to me (whenever I visited my hometown) as well as my cousins (most of whom are minors) and my younger brother up until he passed away this August.

His death is still fresh in everybody's minds, including my own. Despite what he did to me, I grieved him terribly, and a part of me profoundly misses the wonderful, kind, and wise grandfather I believed him to be.

But the idea that he may have targetted others in my family has made me determined to speak up about it. But on the other hand I'm not at all a strong or brave person. If given the option to just... leave it be and never have to confront it, I'd be really tempted to.

I know my grandfather was a monster, but please don't speak too ill of him. I don't want revenge, or to curse him, I just want even the smallest sliver of justice for myself and anyone else he hurt that I can eke out before there's nothing left.

I thought maybe others in this subreddit may have gone through something similar with familial abuse and could provide some advice. I want at least my immediate family to know, but just how the hell am I supposed to blow this sky high without rubbing salt in the wound his death left behind? Can I even call this justice...? I never saw my dad cry until my grandfather's funeral. The idea of being the reason I see him cry a second time destroys me.

I think I might have been raped or sexually assaulted.
I’ve been talking to this guy on and off since August, but we had never hung out before. On Monday, I hung out with him, and we smoked. This was my first time smoking, by the way. We smoked one blunt and then ate. He asked me if I wanted to drink, and I said no because I didn’t know how the high was going to affect me. After we ate, we went back to the car and smoked the second blunt. It hit me, and I did notice that he was hard, but I didn’t say anything. After that, he drove me home.

On Wednesday, we went out again and ate, and we shared a margarita. I don’t think it really did anything other than make me sleepy. After we ate, we went back to my place. We started making out, and he said that we should stop because he didn’t want to fuck me. However, I knew he was lying because he kept doing it. He kept saying he was going to leave because he wanted to fuck me, basically saying that if we couldn’t have sex, then he was leaving. I started crying because I knew what he was doing, but I didn’t want him to leave. So, I drank a 99-cent shot and chased it with his cart. I didn’t know how many hits to take, so I took four back-to-back, and he told me to take two more, so I did.
After a while, I felt like I was dying. I already have really bad anxiety attacks, so that didn’t help. I got up and started walking around, and I kept asking him if I was high. He said yes. Then I kept licking my lips and asked him if my lips were dry. He said yes, so I started panicking and walking around. He was still sitting on the bed, and I wanted to yell for help so badly. I got on the floor and started praying. That’s when he got up, sat me on the bed, and told me it was okay. I told him, “You can’t leave me.” He laughed, and I said, “I’m serious. You can’t leave me ever.” He said okay and laid me down.

After that, I don’t really remember what happened. I just know that, after a while, I started shaking, and he pulled me closer. I’m sorry, but I can’t remember what led to this. I did start giving him oral sex, and it was very sloppy. I kept rubbing my face against his penis because I thought he had ejaculated, and I needed something moist on my mouth. After that, he whispered, “Pull your pants down,” but it felt like I couldn’t move. He proceeded to pull my pants down and started having sex with me.

I just remember thinking about whether what was happening was consensual or not. That’s when he grabbed my face and asked if I knew what he was doing. I said, “Fucking?” He said okay and kept going.

I’ve been crying all day today and yesterday because I don’t know whether I was raped or not. He also gave me strep throat, and I’ve been dealing with that, too. I just want to know whether what happened to me was rape or sexual assault and how I can heal from this if it was.

Hi it’s me again. I was raped last week and posted 2 days ago. I finally went to do a STI/STD test today so I’m waiting for those results. But while I was there they noticed these spots on my art. I knew about them but brushed them off but the immediately asked me about them and I told them how more keeps developing and they immediately clocked it as ringworm.

Only possible way I could have gotten it was from this guy that raped me. I’ve only interacted with a few people the past few days and asked them to all check their skin and they have no signs at all. Plus those people just hang out with only each other and me anyways so it had to have been from this guy. The timeline matches up perfectly.

Another thing but question this time. Last week before this happened me and my bf planned to hang out and have sex on my birthday and then I was raped. I needed a few days before I told him but the day I was going to tell him his grandma died. So I haven’t told him. So how am I supposed to tell him when he comes over? He is already in a lot of pain. I still wanna have sex with him on my birthday but I also need him to check in on me and check for signs of a panic attack and doesn’t take it personal if I ask him not to touch me for a few minutes.

(Dw my ring worm won’t be contagious when he comes. I started treatment immediately)

Okay so last week my friend invited to me for a sleepover. I said yes and brought 2 bottles of vodka, one was for the next night because I had a party and wasn’t going home.

She tells me she’s on her way to pick me up, but it ended up being her boyfriend and his cousin (who’s actually a different friends ex).All was swell and I got to her house.

At first, I thought he was gonna drop off the cousin because i wasn’t told he was gonna sleepover too. But then we got there and I just assumed her boyfriend and the cousin would go upstairs and we would do our own thing.

It started getting late and we opened the bottle and had a few shots. My friend and her boyfriend stopped at around 3-4 shots each since they had work in the morning and didn’t want to be hungover.

We played board game and eventually it was time for bed. I assumed the cousin and boyfriend would go upstairs, and me and my friend would stay downstairs. She then told me that I’m sleeping in the basement with the cousin and her and her boyfriend are going upstairs.

By this point, me and the cousin had quite a bit to drink and this is where it gets a bit patchy. I think He was more drunk than me.

We weren’t ready for bed yet so we drank more and played bop it

This is where it just goes blank. I can’t remeber anything but all the sudden I think we were kissing but I’m not sure. I was on my period and I’m a virgin and I remember telling him i was on my period but idk what he said.

I honestly have no clue what happened. Idk how long or if there was foreplay or anything

The only thing I remeber was that I was ontop of him or something but I kind of rolled off and layed there I remeber it really hurt and then he said something like “let’s try this” or something and flipped me so that I was laying there and he was ontop.

That’s when he actually got it in and it hurt SO bad to the point I couldn’t do it and kind of shoved him off and squirmed and then I said no and he stopped and just cuddled me for idek how long then he started kissing me again and I kissed him back and he wanted to try it again but i said no and I sucked his dick because I felt bad for letting him down and u really didn’t wanna try it again because why the fuck does nobody talk about how much that shit hurts genuinely where are you getting pleasure

That’s all I remember from the sex part, at some point in time he got really drunk and was screaming and throwing up so I got my friends boyfriend and he came down to help him and I think that’s when I went to bed.

I’m just so so so mad at myself because first of all I can’t even remeber and second of all he’s my friends ex. I didn’t even realize who he was when we were actually doing it, my mind was just blank.

I remeber when we were playing board games I actually felt weird being with him it almost felt like a weird double date because my friend and her boyfriend were together. I was uncomfortable and I really really really didn’t wanna look like k was trying to flirt with him or anything because my biggest fear is someone thinking I’m trying to fuck their ex or boyfriend or something

He doesn’t remember anything either and I didn’t tell my friend or her boyfriend. I tried to tell the cousin and said “hey I was really drunk do you remember what happened can you fill in the blanks “

He said “nah I was blacked out”

And then I said “do you think we could call or something I kinda need to tell you something”

And he said “not right now” and then blocked me so now I’m even more confused

I’m also super embarrassed because I was NOT read I was on my period and I hadn’t shaved and I’m just so so embarrassed I an almost relieved that he doesn’t remeber because of what I looked like but ik that’s a very rapey thing to say

Anyways I’m not just contemplating whether I tell my friend or not because she keeps mentioning how I killed him with the alchohol since he doesn’t drink that often and I drink quite a bit.

Between me and the cousin we had a bottle and a half each. I’ve never been that hungover.