Some context here:
I have a now ex friend who sexually harassed me, and sexually assaulted my best friend, who I will name Drew. We have two other mutual friends who seem to be “choosing” the assaulters side. One of those friends, I’m just cutting off, they don’t deserve an explanation from me because I haven’t known them for that long and have given me other reasons to not be friends with them anymore. The other friend, who I will name James, was one of both mine and Drew’s closer friends. James and Drew got into a bit of a scuffle when Drew tried talking to him about the sexual harassment, which led to Drew saying some stuff that hurt James’s feelings. Drew apologized and is owning up to his decision of involving him right away, but James is not being receptive and ignoring him. I’m guessing that James resents Drew because he has been posting Instagram stories that are basically saying the he was friends with bad people and taking a hit at Drew’s mental health and how it’s affecting him. The level of pettiness and insensitivity that James is showing is ridiculous and I’m getting annoyed at it. He posted photos on his Instagram stories of hanging out with the sexual harasser and the other friend. After that, I decided that I’m not gonna stay friends with him anymore. I’m not willing to be friends with someone who is friends with both mine and Drew’s sexual harasser, knowing how much pain he caused for both of us. I think the sexual harasser probably twisted what actually happened and victim blame to make James feel negatively against me and Drew. I don’t think that James knows how much he’s hurt me, which is why I feel like maybe I should tell him why I’m ending this friendship. At this point in my life, I just want to protect my mental health and my peace, and if that means cutting out toxic people from my life, then I will do it. I’m done being a people pleaser, and done with putting up with people’s bullshit. I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive and find people that will add good to my life, not stress and negative energy.
So my real question is, should I take the time to text James and tell him that this friendship is over and explain to him how he hurt me, or just slowly cut him off?