I downloaded tinder and bumble and have been getting a lot of matches (6’2 - not completely chopped) but have crippling social anxiety and bad teeth that Invisalign are going to take another year to fix

So just ended up endlessly chatting on tinder convos, saying things to push the line and practising talking to foids as I don’t want to actually go on a date until my teeth are fixed

Eventually started sending dic pics and added one to my profile, now I’m banned

I tried using a different number but it didn’t let me. Got banned on bumble same reason but care less as my algorithm wasn’t as good on it, think I trolled the early matches too much only got 11 matches on it in a month while was getting 15-20 a week on tinder

But this helped me think I might not be doomed once I fix my teeth and anxiety, but have no one to text / sext now

Picture is a grilled chicken place I went to with a friend

I dont like my body,my love life or how my brain works

im not the most handsome guy, the smartest or the most successful and ill never be

I dont know how to change or how to be happy.

Todays lunch:Oven baked chicken and potatoes

Brownie edges and milk

Why tf does everyone in my dms wanna fucking feminize me (╥﹏╥)

People will be in my dms talking bout how cute I'd be as a girl and then fucking tell me to pay for the estrogen myself like (╥﹏╥)

that's not forcefem that's... Suggestionfem

Burger, fries, chocolate milk

Bullshit rice noodle soup with sodiumaxxed broth. I’m gonna die alone and salty, literally and figuratively.

TW: fakecel, retardcel. recently rejected a girl for not being a virgin and she got mad, like really mad. I don't get it, I was honest and told her it has nothing to do with who she is and that I enjoyed hanging out with her and would like to be her friend and that it's just my prefrence. but that didn't seem to get to her. it's beyond me why she got so mad, we weren't even that close and I made sure not to lead her on

instant coffee, basbousa and a cig rolled by yours trully

So there's this girl who's an ex co worker who is very pretty and kind. When I started at work avoided as much ( doesn't want to be seen as a creep ) but we started talking eventually. I forced myself to not fell in love with her bc I am just a fat 130kg looking like a stalker, reseverd to myself due to insecurities and bullying. So I just payed attention to the work I was doing, it was impossible to not look at her while she worked, she is that beautiful. She got used to tease me, calling me cute names and even once took a selfie with me after I started to sleep . I just thought she was pitying me for being the autistic young new and trying to blend in a team. And she left in the end of September, we traded instas ( bc i do photography as a hobby). And she's also doing a blog on another app to show her her trip to Asia. And we are talking, still calling le those surname ( i love it when she calls me by this name ) and its foing great however its nice she gave me compliments and im completely in love with her. But deep down ik it isn't reciprocal. I want to never be able to love so i won't be looking at her pics and smile like a retarded prick.

pork tenderloin medallions with potatoes, bearnaise and garlic bread. And a monster

Chicken and rice with soy sauce. Was okay but cold.

(17m) Shit is hitting the fan real quick y’all. 2 months ago my therapist let me talk about things other than food, I was a good 15 pounds heavier then. A month ago I wasn’t even diagnosed with an eating disorder. It’s been bad for a while but this past year it’s been worse, I’ve gone from my highest weight to my lowest. My therapist says if I keep losing she’ll recommend me to a “higher level of care”, that’s shrink speak for putting me in a program.

Going to a program right now would entirely derail my life. I’m not going to a goddamn hospital. I have to go to college, I have to finish my applications, I have to save money for college and get a job, I have to keep my GPA up for said college. I have a lot on my plate right now and I can’t give it up.

I don’t want to recover but I honestly think I’d feel okay about maintaining, that’s what my therapist wants me to do anyways. The problem is that I’m so used to eating 900-1300 calories a day and in order to maintain my weight I’d have to increase it to at least 1850. That feels like a lot to me right now. I feel alright about my weight I guess but eating that much terrifies me. I know I need to stop puttering around and actually eat more but it’s scary. I am trying to eat more now, it’s been an uphill battle though.

Having to choose between my future and the path to self destruction that’s brought me both pain and comfort shouldn’t be this hard. It should be easy to tell myself to give this up and go to college but it’s not. I wish I could have both. I wish I could keep doing this to myself with no consequences but I can’t, that’s just not possible. I keep telling myself it’s not that bad yet but the people around me disagree. I know I need to suck it up and at least stop losing but I feel like my mind won’t let me. It will, it has to.

Everything I’ve done was with him in mind. I gave up my hobbies and dreams because he didn’t approve. He said they were for “losers and “gay men” (you can imagine the word he used), and now the people I know who stayed in those hobbies are happier and more successful. He had a dinner recently for my sister and brother in law and didnt invite me or even speak about me. He said multiple times that all he has now is my sister and her husband. I did everything to help him when he was struggling. I took out loans, got a second job, I got him an interview at my company for the easiest job they have and for good pay and he didn’t show up, I even stopped when I almost finished my degree because he didn’t like the community college I went to, and I transferred ro a university and owed them $20,000. And now he’s mad at me because I can’t help him with money anymore and chose to focus on myself. Why did I waste my life trying to appease this fucking loser? Why did I care when he didn’t approve of the women I had interest in? Why should I have given him any thought? He married the first single mom who gave him attention after he didn’t take no for an answer. I was so happy Saturday morning too, I realized I went down 4 pounds in 2 weeks. But my sister texting me about this dinner just made my stomach turn.

Guess I'll be making another batch

I am currently getting cucked by my own landlord, he kicked me out of my own room that I pay for for two hours because he is planning on doing a house showing so he can sell it. There are no available apartments in the area to rent out. I might go homeless despite having money in the middle of the Norwegian winter that usually reaches -15°c. I have to either lose my job and thus any future I have or keep working while being homeless and most likely live in my car.

Kebab and beer so I don't go cold while waiting to be able to go back to my room that I pay for.

was about to wank one out to her moans but the guy couldn’t last more than a minute

I used to love cooking but depression and meds have first killed off my appetite then my passion in cooking. I don't cook anymore, I'm having takeaways everyday and I've gotten fatter (I'm still healthy ig?). The little things that make me me have just disappeared from me because of depression, and it's slowly eating me alive. It feels like I'm consciously seeing myself slowly rot away while not being able to do anything about it.

I hate whining and venting about my problems because it makes me feel vulnerable. On a real note, this subreddit has really made me more accepting towards myself, thanks a lot.

Pizza