Introverts with soft spoken voices, don’t get a job in retail. You will be told every day that you are too quiet.

Managers and customers will ask you to speak up loader and if you know you’re the type who can’t shout consistently without crying, please do not apply.

Be prepared to learn fast, if you’re too slow, they will always tell you what you did wrong before you even started the task.

They will put you front and center to greet customers before they teach you anything else.

There will be a lot of annoying customers expecting you know everything and you will be forced to ask for help and have to look stupid in front of everyone until the staff finally teaches you how to do your job.

If you’re not ready for a sink or swim method of learning, be warned and don’t apply for retail.

With all that said, I’ve finally completed 1 month here in hell and I can’t wait to quit!

I'm in my second year of university and I have come to the realization that keeping and maintaining friendships makes me feel drained, discontent and sad about life. I can't really pinpoint why, it's just a feeling. I have a substantial amount of friends but there's only about two that I actually actively enjoy having in my life. I actually don't groan at the thought of them. I feel like a part of it is because they're very authentic people. I go to a bit of a posh university and everyone here, including the friendships I have, feel so superficial and draining. Every friendship feels like more of an exchange of validation rather than something you have to actively feel good in your day to day life.

So, I found myself realizing that friendships, at least having a lot, are not for me. The thing is, I often feel really left out and sad whenever I try to respect that about myself. I want to focus on myself and have less draininf friendships that are getting in the way of being myself and honing my needs, but not being social in a place that is so focused on how social you are (university) makes me feel like i'm not good enough or doing enough of my life. Even though it makes me happy, I cannot shake the immediate thought that it means my life is boring, and not worth living or remembering.

I really cannot shake my feeling of disdain for most people though and I think it is amplified by where I am currently at. I definitely miss pre-social media times when it felt like you could be a little weird. Now, i feel like I have to watch what I say and do with everyone, even friends. Life feels like a constant contest for approval. Everyone's so obsessed with seeming like a quality person that it all ends up just feeling really superficial. No room for error or growth, just everyone trying to be the exact same person over and over. I like weird people, but it feels like they are super hard to find.

TL;DR - Having lots of friendships makes me feel sad and unsatisfied with my life because nowadays it feels like you have to surrender your own identity to fit molds. I would rather be on my own at this point, but that still feels sad to me. Anyone else feel the same?

I, 26F, currently an HR just decided (once in a blue moon) to go out of town during my day off. I have weekends day off and basically my day offs would just me rotting in my house and just sleeping. Our department, under Operations, (I have 2 departments HR & Operations), have this kind of thing that we eat all together during lunch. It took me like months just for me to join them. Then my one manager, woman, asked me last last weekend what did I do. So I answered I went out of town for a whole day and just got home after that.

Then suddenly, she told me if I have problem, I can always tell them which made my eyebrow furrowed. Because she told me I was having "impulsive" decision by travelling 8 hours to another city and after whole day just going home for another 8 hours. If I want to go out of town again, I should bring someone and not be by myself.

I calmly and respectfully answered her that I don't have any problem, I just don't want someone to talk to me all throughout my travel towards the city. My job requires me so much to talk to applicants and other colleagues. I need somewhere I can't hear any voices of people wanting to talk to me.

I just smiled after and then finished my food. Lol.

I want to ask if any of you have ever experienced this. Whenever someone is rude, mean, or tries to intimidate me, I freeze. I become speechless, my hands start shaking, and sometimes I end up crying because I don’t know how to respond. I feel weak because I can’t seem to stand up for myself in those moments, even when I know the other person is being disrespectful.
I sometimes wonder if this is connected to the trauma I experienced with my dad and the way he treated me growing up. Now, whenever someone speaks harshly to me or makes me feel intimidated, I struggle to think clearly or focus on anything else. It’s like my mind goes blank, and I can’t defend myself even when I want to.
Have any of you experienced something similar? Do you ever get so nervous around confrontational or aggressive people that you start shaking or feel like you’re having a panic attack? How do you handle these situations without letting the other person’s behavior affect you so deeply?
Honestly, my main coping mechanism has been isolating myself and staying alone because being alone feels safer than dealing with people who might hurt me emotionally. But I don’t want to keep feeling this way forever. I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences and how you’ve learned to cope with this.

If so, what is your life like? Sometimes I feel at peace, but everyone keeps shoving in my face about how humans are social creatures and that this is extremely unhealthy for me. I used to have a huge circle of friends but I lost everyone once I started setting boundaries and matching people’s energy.

I’ve been extra isolated lately but I’m still taking some online classes for school. Even in my classes we are talking about the dangers of isolation, etc. My professors like to emphasize it a lot. I also have to do some presentations about “loved ones” and talk about my friends and family.

But I don’t have any. I legit do not have a soul to turn to lol 🥲

The person in question is very sensitive and I know that if I dare say "Hey, can we step it down a notch?", it'll reinforce all of these ideas they have about themselves being annoying and unlikeable which won't be good.

They reached out to me maybe 1-2 months ago and from there have messaged me every single day. We spoke on the phone for hours (Platonic but not the same gender) and they'd call me nearly every day, even if the phone calls were brief. I'd call them too but slowly started to taper off because I simply didn't have the energy.

I am not a dick, I specifically stopped engaging so much a to give myself some breathing room. Still - They message me in the morning or at night - "Hey! Checking in! Just wanted to make sure you're doing fine!". If I don't respond for some reason or am busy, then they'll jump to calling me.

I am afraid to address it but I can't keep doing this. I do not have the energy to talk to someone every day on the phone for nearly an hour. It's too much and now, despite me liking them as a person, they are really starting to annoy me.

It feels like a damn chore. I do not want to wake up each morning and know that there's someone who's going to be reaching out to me that I feel like I have to speak with. Middle grounds. Why can't we just be friends without the excess?

For those that started dating late, how did you do it? I’m frightened and too timid to be open and vulnerable with someone. I can’t imagine being in a romantic relationship and have someone also rely on me.

I think I've always been shy since I was a child, but it hasn't affected me in a very significant way so far. At school I don't even remember how I made my friends I only know that one day they were there, I think that the fact that everyone in my class was open to conversations and receptive helped me in this. I ended up moving to college and now I'm living alone so I'm away from most of my friends and only see them on some weekends. But I really thought that I would at least talk to 2 or 3 people in the first semester, as happened in high school, but it's been 2 months as a freshman and I just don't talk to anyone. There is no one I talk to after school or during breaks, at most some people I can have a good day in the hallway but I do not have intimacy or subject to talk to them anymore. I've always been an introvert and enjoyed my alone time, but coming home from college feeling extremely lonely has made it difficult to enjoy my alone time at home. Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

This is a late post and I'm probably going to bed after this. I don't know why I keep on doing this. I'm a introvert and I try to make new friends by talking to them online first but every single time I keep on forgetting to message them back or I wouldn't know what to say. I want to be able to make more online friends but I'm just terrified that I wouldn't message them again when they mean so much to me. Please I just don't know what to do anymore

Maybe a vent but also seeking community (or maybe just a place to rant in) bc im really tired of feeling like this. Very, very, very sorry it's long !!( ;´ - `;)

I'm a shy-kid type of person, though I can be very talkative if talked to. My friends know this, though they often tend to leave me out or not bother to talk to me unless I talk to them first, note that most (if not all of them) are not introverts and enjoy talking and socializing - yelling, even sometimes. Maybe I'm simply not funny enough compared to whom they talk to. Maybe I'm not confident or interesting enough. Maybe I'm not loud enough. Even if our interests don't match perfectly, I listen to them rant about theirs a lot. I genuinely love to listen because I love learning something new and I get to see different perspectives of people and how something affects them. I don't mind that I don't get to talk about mine, but sometimes I wish I'd be given a chance to. Waiting just feels like being patient for something that'll never come.

I feel like there's only one person from our friend group who sparks up some sort of conversation with me and is also willing to learn about my interests, as I am with theirs. When they leave or get tired, I'm alone again. I hate being seen as too attached, clingy or desperate - or vulnerable without that one friend.

The rest of the class, I feel, is worse. Most of them are extroverts as well with their own friend group, and a few quiet kids genuinely don't want to talk at all (which is definitely more than fine, you do you). I know it's not intentional but I feel like they're avoiding me. They're all nice people, though I feel they're not the most inclusive - but they're all very nice. I say 'hi' and wave when they pass by, though I get ignored most of the time but maybe I just wasn't heard, which is fine. I make up for the feeling of uselessness by trying extra hard during tasks and offer to help others if they needed it. I try to join in on banter in the rare occassions I do get spoken to, but I feel like it just drives people away more. Maybe it's because I'm (usually) slow in the head and awkward sometimes, but I genuinely do try.

I don't know how to fix this and I'm tired of it being like this ever since.

​

I personally find going out draining...so how do you actually socialize without going out??? How to find genuine connections?? Any activity, or some online place?? Where you can socialize with friendly, decent people??

Where I come from I have lost contact with almost everybody except my best friend over the last 2 years (since the end of school). I am also currently going to college and am part of a small group of 5 (including me). But if I am honest then the only person of these I actually like and go out of my way to meet is my best friend. The others are just alr and once I got my degree I likely wont keep in contact with any of them.

This means I have one real friend (with whom I talk maybe weekly). And I have to say that I do feel lonely. To me it seems that I just dont really like people. But I AM lonely. So people suck but no people also sucks. Wtf is this bs.

So, how does this work for you guys?

Ive had no one to talk to for a couple of months now and its lowkey getting lonely. One day i got the thought that i would do anything to talk with a clone lf myself or just someone with the same thoughts as me. Like i also think it would be fun to have an imagenary friend sometimes. Like am i crazy or this isnt something uncommon.

My (22F) boyfriend (31M) has a MASSIVE group of super successful friends who constantly have large gatherings. Most of them have been friends for years and obviously understand each others humour, have inside jokes, memories they reminisce on, etc.

Whenever I am around them in these group settings I feel SO awkward. My brain goes completely foggy and I just forget how to socialize. I feel my body tightening and want to get out immediately. It feels like I’m too slow to understand their jokes and that I don’t have much to offer when it comes to conversation because they are all older than me and doctors, businessmen, etc. Even with the girls, it just feels so different from hanging out with girls around my age. Everyone feels wittier, smarter, more interesting than me and I just feel so small. I usually never feel this way around people.

I’ve talked to my boyfriend before about trying to include me more in conversation and he has been receptive to that topic but I haven’t seen him really do it. This weekend they are having a get together with 4 other couples and I have been avoiding going to a hangout for months but now I feel like it’s been so long that I have to.

I feel desperate for them to like me because my boyfriend has expressed before that it’s important he’s with someone who can be on their own in group settings and not attached to his hip. Which I understand.

I love my boyfriend so much and want to be with him but I feel like this is going to cause a problem in our relationship long term. We’ve been together for 10 months now. Could this be a sign of incompatibility? Age gap problem? Or am I insecure? Ugh

Whats the difference between being an introvert, social anxiety and being shy. Like i got called all three of these by people but i dont know wich one fits me best.

I wanna know how frequently you’re supposed to see your in laws.

My in laws are extremely extroverted people. Now that my bf and I have gotten engaged , it’s like they’re trying to force a hangout once a week. They are very nice people.. but at the end of the day we are so different, it takes so much energy for me to go to these hangouts. To put on a mask and act like a family even though I don’t relate to them at all.

I’ve seen them once a week for the last 5 weeks. It’s like once I get through one hangout .. they’re planning another one. I didn’t see them last week, so they made plans because we “haven’t seen each other in a while” .. I’m like .. tf 😅

Am I horrible for thinking this is a bit much? My mom is guilt tripping me saying they like me and I should be part of their family now. And yes , my in laws are very nice people , but at the end of the day.. I have my own family, my own friends, and my own life . Are in laws really a once a week priority??? Do I really have to be that level of family with them?😅

Help 😭

22F. I’m tired of looking for friends on apps. I want to practice my social skills and I need to make friends because I’m in a new city. I tried with apps but meh. It’s not the same and I think it’s not the best way to do it. Did you ever talk to someone random outside and made friends? What do you say the first time? Do you go to specific places? What do you ask? Are in general people open to make friends? Any advice or personal experience is welcome, as well as some motivation. Thank you

Hey all! Bit of a rant / getting something off my chest.
I had eye surgery last Thursday. Fortunately, everything went fine, Thank God, and I’m recovering well. My mom and grandparents came down to help me as I’m newly living on my own and I’m physically disabled. My grandparents stayed for a day after my surgery and my mom stayed for a few more days to make sure I had the help I needed, for meals and stuff like that. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and how eager and willing they are to help me, but I was really dreaming about unwinding alone with a hot bath and just doing whatever I wanted to do. My mom went home for a few hours and my dad came over. He brought me dinner and helped me do my nightly eye drops. He was gonna have to come back four more times throughout the next day to apply them because these eye drops need to be applied multiple times a day. He suggested that I come back home with him so he doesn’t have to travel back-and-forth multiple times a day. I was really tired of having people around. I really wanted to be alone and do whatever I wanted. Even though at my dad’s house, I’ll be home alone most of the day because he works. It wouldn’t be the same as relaxing in your own house with your own stuff. I’m a creature of comfort and habit, so I like being in my own space. But I knew it’d be easier on him if I just went back with him, so I reluctantly agreed. The main thing is I just had all the things I could do home alone, kind of planned out. Whether I’d be listen to the same couple podcast or watch a movie I’ve seen in 1000 times. But I realized I just had to suck it up because but we’re all making sacrifices. After all I just had eye surgery and I need some help whether I like it or not, so I’m currently back at his house. And after sleeping on it, I realized that this is a lot easier for him because he doesn’t have to drive back-and-forth. And plus he’s making one of my favorite meals tonight, steak, so I really shouldn’t complain too much. I’m just not trying to come off as ungrateful. I am very grateful but I just really value my alone time.. I guess I just wanted get this off my chest and talk about it