Hi, just a quick one
I have noticed an issue with how I communicate with close people and vise versa, the problem is I’m not the best person to explain what’s in my mind or what I feel, and if I do express it, usually it’s in naive and weird way that doesn’t interest most people(for example, more literature and symbolic way, usually bad results almost always), so I began to notice who am I really that I forgot. and I understood that I’m outrageously, badly misunderstood from people around me. I’m talking about at least 20 to 30 closest people -who God blessed me with-.
Everyone has their own image of me in their heads that’s different, and the strange thing is they’re more confident in a way of that this image is Me, more than what I know of myself.
Anyway, lately I developed a habit to just try to not be misunderstood at least, without hurting anyone’s feelings, so I began to decrease the amount of words I say. And I mean literally, one of the things that kept me misunderstood, is I keep repeating what I am saying to others and they don’t listen, so I try to explain it in all different ways and repeat it in relation with their own feelings, which makes it even worse lol. (I am not sure if they don’t understand it, or they’re.. I don’t know what’s their case with it. )So I became “fed up” with it and just started not saying anything not necessary, and I mean I really don’t. And this has helped me a lot strangely, yet, even with this solution, some groups of people still misunderstands me to a point where it hurts, especially if it’s someone old who I have to respect.
Long story short, I feel better with this “technique” yet I still develop it currently. Anyone experienced such things as an INFJ, and has any more advices, insights or suggestions, maybe their own experience, it will help me and others understand ourselves and others more.

Help, my infj 9 core bf always says “making you happy makes me happy”. But for once I want to give him something that is purely him where I am uninvolved. Problem is I don’t know what to give, and he doesn’t really know what he wants or tell me his desires outside of “us”. As a 3, I like to be able to give or perform for him. Something, merely existing is not an option!

I'm an INFJ (F) talking to an INTJ (M), and I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this.

We get along really well, and he shares a lot about his interests and daily life. He also initiates conversations (we're only texting) sometimes, so it's not like I'm the only one reaching out.

But I feel like I'm usually the one asking questions and trying to get to know him, while he doesn't seem as curious about me. It's a little confusing because he does seem engaged when we talk.

Have any of you experienced something similar with a male INTJ? Did it turn out to be just his communication style, or was he simply not that interested in getting to know you? 😅

I'd appreciate any input.

Hello, I'm INTJ (24M) and I've been dating this INFJ (27F).

We have completely filterless communication, we aren't afraid of discussing difficult not personal topics.

We've gone on about 15 dates, some of them were spending an entire day together, including simple peaceful ones like cooking together and just taking walks and talking.

Due to unrelated personal distress and difficulties I've been open about, I flew to Japan alone for a month and a half to disconnect, ground myself and resteady my inner peace I've achieved, while keeping daily communication with her.

We've both found the intensity of our relationship a bit jarring, too good to be true at times, the Ni-Ni loop definitely had some part in that and we both had the inclination that there's a single major unknown that stopping us from committing to a serious long term relationship with the intention of staying together for good unless proven otherwise.

Since flying to Japan I've felt the burden and the pondering lessen and she explicitly said that she thinks the distance and long term connection is the solution for her unresolved unknown,

Some extra context:

Our connection seems to hold true and the trust hasn't been stronger,

We both get incredibly inspired by each other pretty equally, we both find each other incredibly cute especially, intelligent as well as high emotional intelligence, we have inside jokes, our core values match, there's intimate compatibility, we felt absolute peace while cuddling, in terms of a life partner relationship we have the same end goals, we plan our individual futures together to be parallel and compatible while following our own existing dreams.

We both been in toxic relationships, seeked professional help and learned our lessons from those relationships and what to do different and moved on from them.

We currently have a mutual disinterest in seeking another relationship, we seem to be compatible and satisfied together.

I fiercely protect her from giving in to people pleasing tendencies with me, I make sure she doesn't diminish her value,

She gives me what I require from a relationship; equality in expectations, the joy of the present and the grounding in it, as I tend to lose myself in the future often.

Now I would like to ask you, is this the mark of a healthy relationship or are we missing something important or multiple we would need to address and what is your opinion of this physical distance in order to stifle the growing intensity of the honeymoon phase and enjoy our relationship for what it is and not let it burn too intensely?