Content warning for existential / philosophical thoughts. This may be triggering, please skip if you think this may bother you.

Okay, I just wanted to watch videos in bed. I had a great day today, I got to hang out with my friends, and my symptoms lessened a tiny bit because of that. I began watching what I thought was a harmless video about popular songs with weird lyrics. What could go wrong?

For some reason, this creator decided to include a segment where he looks at the viewer and says, "wake up, you're not real," before going back to the video. What the heck? I'm so frustrated right now. Do people think that's funny? I've never thought stuff like that was funny, even before experiencing DPDR. What can I do to avoid this type of triggering content when it could be literally anywhere? Does this make anyone else frustrated too? It makes me especially upset because I had a wonderful day today, and all it took was a random video to ruin my mood.

Im 16 and I’ve had dpdr for over a year due to a very extensive abusive relationship that involved grxoming since i was 12. During the relationship, i was sent to the hospital many times and i grew up being manipulated into feeling like there’s no other chance to feel real other than him. Now that I’m 16, i feel inclined into still believing that and my brain feels uneasy 24/7 and i dissociate 24/7 whenever im not thinking about him or stalking him and looking at everything i have left of him. I feel like my last resort is medication because everything my mom and the people around me have done to try helping hasnt worked. i feel hopeless and feel like the only way I can get out of this torture would be go to back to my abuser. is there hope for this to finally be over?

So I was prescribed Vyvanse 2 years ago by my psychiatrist, I started on 40 mg I took it for the first time and within about 5 hours I felt quite anxious and some intrusive thoughts started flowing, I sat down for lunch at work and I had a rush of panic or some sort of intense response that flushed from head to toe and I had never experienced anything like this before, I then stood up to get some fresh air and my surrounding seemed very off and weird/dissociated, I was very scared and decided to give the medication one more try the next day so I did and although I didn’t have another strong experience I felt quite depersonalised and weird. I never took the Vyvanse again. About 1 week later I started to develop numbness in my head and like severe brain fog etc.

Keep in mind never in my whole life had I experienced anything like this before and since that day 2 years ago I have never felt the same again, I feel permanently altered like my consciousness has shifted and I hate it, I have gone to so many professionals and have not been given the right advice or help.

Does anyone out there have any ideas on what may have happened and or what they think is happening. Anything would be much appreciated

Also 24 year old male who doesn’t drink, take drugs or participate in any of that behaviour

I am so bored. Bored bored bored. People talk to me and it floats past my ears and lands into nothing. At first i was crippled by animalistic anxiety. Being confused and not understanding the world anymore and caring a lot about that. Not anymore. I just dont give a fuck. Everyone says to just move on with life and dont pay attention to it but i cant even participate in what is supposed to pull my attention off of it because i find it all so dull. I totally dont react to anything. When i do try and talk to people they joke about me being blank and immune to everything and i can tell theyre secretly not kidding and kind of put off by it. But i also dont really care about that either. What the hell are we supposed to do if the things were supposed to do suddenly lack a gravitational pull. I feel like im suspended in outer space inside a black hole i dont even really care to leave. But i think i do on some level, i just cant access the feeling.

I ask myself daily what I did to deserve this. And how I got dealt such shitty hands. A horrible childhood, losing my brother when he was 16, and my mom when she was 49 and I was only 25. I got robbed of my whole life with her. And now I’ve been robbed of my own life. For 5 years I have suffered daily in this hell. Every night my mind simulates traumatic situations in my sleep that I have to live through, and the Dpdr gets thicker by the day. I have tried every type of therapy, exposures, meds, acceptance - nothing has worked. Exposures helped me stop fearing my anxiety and got some of my life back. But I’ve never once been out of Dpdr, even for a second.

everything has been taken from my life. I can’t stay awake, I have no energy, I have to live through these horrible survival simulations every single night in my sleep. I am more cut off from myself and reality as time goes on. I dont even remember what it’s like to be me. Or to feel. This is like being stuck in hell and there’s no exit. my dreams have replaced my actual memory. They’re so strange and like I’m trying to find an exit and survive. My life as I know it is over, and I don’t know what I did to deserve this

I really don’t know what to do or try anymore. My dream life has become my actual life and when I’m awake I’m in a total daze. Every single night I dream of being trapped in falling elevators, having to get on a small plane, being stuck in liminal spaces, or people trying to take what I’ve worked so hard to earn in real life, loss, grief. The dreams are endless, and none of it feels like my actual life. there’s no feeling of me anymore at all, I’m just an observer in all of these dreams feeling and experiencing things that I’ve never experienced.

i wake up completely feeling like I just lived through all these things, like I was on another planet. I can’t even fathom where my brain is getting these scenarios from. People I’ve never seen, places I’ve never been, situations that have never happened. It’s like a never ending play my mind is writing in my sleep. The feeling of the dream follows me all day, and has completely replaced my actual memory and emotions. I have 0 access to myself at all, besides the dreams. I can remember dream content from months and years ago, but not anything about my actual life.

this has taken over my entire life. My nervous system reads the dreams as real life dangers. I can’t travel or experience anything in reality because every night in my dreams I’m in plane crashes, elevators falling, getting into trouble with the law, being trapped, etc. it never ends. I don’t know how my life got this way and that it’s been this night after night for years. Not one doctor or therapist knows how to treat it.

i had 2 or 3 panic attacks and my life changed forever. I had anxiety my entire life but it was such a small part of my life, and I never had dreams like this. ever. It feels as if I go to another dimension in my sleep where there’s no reality boundaries or sense of self, just wandering and being subjected to danger over over over. My mind won’t stop, what kind of life is this? I can’t live in reality because my mind is living in another dimension.

I wanted to ask if anyone has seen a psychiatrist or doctor in New York City who actually specializes in depersonalization/derealization (DPDR).
I’ve been dealing with constant, 24/7 derealization for over a year now, and honestly, I’m reaching my breaking point. It’s affecting my quality of life so much, and I feel like nothing I’ve tried has really made a difference.
I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I used to feel completely normal, and now it’s like I’m constantly living in this strange, disconnected state that I can’t seem to get out of. It’s exhausting, especially because I just want to feel like myself again and enjoy my life.
At this point, I’m willing to pay out of pocket, even if the doctor is expensive. I just really want to find someone who genuinely understands this condition, has treated patients with persistent derealization, and has actually helped people recover.
Has anyone had a positive experience with a psychiatrist or DPDR specialist in NYC or the surrounding areas? I’d especially love to hear from anyone who had derealization continuously for months or years and eventually found something that helped.
I’m not necessarily looking for weekly therapy with an expensive psychiatrist, but I’d absolutely be willing to pay for a thorough consultation and a treatment plan

im losing my mind and fucked up big time i have nobody who understands anymore Gun calls to me everyday just nervous ,i really cant take it being alone makes it worse please someone who understands talk to me , horrible episodes from a near death experience It wont go away i cant take it

Can the root of these symptoms. - feeling detached, underwater, anxious all the time, autopilot, walking but don't feel your body moving or feeling like you got from point a to point b, vision changes, feeling more disconnected from the world - muffled sounds, feeling blind but can see. Symptoms intensifying over 3 mos. Can the root of this be lower ferritin or gut dysbiosis? ferritin was 27 now 40 have been trying infusions no change. Mine started after a thc panic attack but dpdr stuff didnt worsen till months later so not healing or taking longer could be gut or ferritin. My bloods are normal besides higher inflammation which came down a little and the ferritin and some of the iron numbers lower. it doesn't make sense mine is all mental if I didnt have all the dpdr right after the panic attack and it was only mild.

I've managed to book Dr Claudia Hallett for a Q&A on all things DPDR, she is the UK's leading Clinical Psychologist specializing in DPDR and has done a lot of work in this area. I set this up as someone who suffered with severe DPDR for the most of my life.

The tickets are usually £19 but I want to give some away completely for free (I will cover the fee)

I hope this is allowed as sensible self-promotion as it's completely free and a fantastic resource

You'll ask your questions before hand, and Dr Claudia will answer them live on Thursday 22nd October (this Thursday) at 12PM UK time.

The link to the event is here, to get a free ticket just sign up and send me a DM on the platform, or dm me here, or comment here and I'll add your ticket, then a form will be available to ask your questions.

I can only cover a few tickets, as I have a limited budget to book Dr Claudia but I wanted to bring her expertise to more people who might not be able to afford private sessions.

Here is the link to the event: https://www.anxietyfitness.com/events/fCjKetvi7KNyOlcMnc1x

EDIT: Also, if you can't make the time, you'll have unlimited access to the recording afterwards

I see a lot of the posts mostly talk about how distressing or miserable it is but for me the reverse is true, DPDR makes me feel kind of enlightened and I actually feel quite distressed when I'm not "having an episode".

To me, it feels almost like waking lucid dreaming or as if I have left the flow of time and I am somehow some amortal observer watching things around me rise and fall.

Does anyone else view this in a more positive light?

Two years ago (June/July 2024) I took a high dose of weed edibles, went to sleep and woke up to a gigantic panic attack and everything just felt strange and off and I could see weird shapes everywhere. I spent a few days in this state and it slowly went away, until I was put on an antipsychotic to treat my bipolar in the November of the same year which caused me to enter mania and all the strange and weird feelings returned and I had a massive mental breakdown which lasted for a few months, before calming down but I have been experiencing these weird states on and off ever since and am currently there again.

I have all the usual symptoms of DPDR, like feeling detached from myself and my emotions and everything seeming fake, but I also get these completely unexplainable sensations that I can only describe as feeling "ominous" and almost evil, like being possessed and in the Upside Down. It actually feels like I'm developing schizophrenia because these strange sensations and feelings make me question if there is some sort of evil force possessing me.

I really wish I could explain these feelings, but when I am going through them it feels like I am deep in a horror film, everything just feels really cold. Is this common with DPDR? My issues don't really feel like anxiety and thoughts but this deep darkness which is so scary and makes me break down in tears all the time.

I've been struggling daily. I have headaches everyday, weakness/numbness sensations and these feelings are always more prominent on my left side- left side of my head and face, left arm, left hand. It scares me. I've also been having cognition issues such as troubles reading (having to read things over and over to understand them and I skip over words), when I'm talking I forget basic words and my speech often stumbles. My eyes have also been super wonky, which I know is "normal" for dpdr. My two favorite pass times were playing videogames and watching movies and I can't even do those anymore because I feel like I'm just staring and not actually watching/playing, when I try to play videogames it often makes me feel even more disoriented or dizzy. I have all the normal DPDR symptoms too, like everything being unfamiliar, feeling confused/disoriented 24/7 and the constant overwhelming feeling of something being terribly wrong (I'm used to these symptoms because I've had this disorder for 12 years on and off, this flare up has been the worst though). It truly feels like something is wrong with my brain. I'm terrified of it being some degenerative brain issue and I think about it 24/7. I've had a bunch of tests and everything was normal and once my insurance starts I'm hoping to receive even more help, even if it's just therapy. Has anyone else experienced these symptoms? I'm so scared all day everyday and this has ruined my life for the past 2 months. I barley get out of bed.

I can't be the only one who thought of things so absolutely crazy (like adrenaline sports or way worse) just to see whether it'd pull me back into feeling reality? I wanna hear what y'all think...

Things close to me look real but things at a distance look flat like I’m looking at a picture with no depth to it. Also it feels like I don’t know where I’am in space. The weird thing is that this started after a panic attack but now the anxiety is completely gone, I don’t have panic attacks anymore ever since things started looking less real. The thought of the world feeling off does make me uncomfortable but it doesn’t trigger panic or anxiety with the same intensity as before the dissociation started. I can’t figure out if this is actually dpdr or I’m just suddenly hyperaware of seeing the world and cause of that it looks weird and unfamiliar. While walking or doing stuff I just think of something else so I’m not focusing on the world feeling off. I also feel uncomfortable seeing the world from a first person perspective, it feels unnatural and unfamiliar.

Have had derealization for better part of a decade. Pretty much that whole time Ive lived in the same home. However the home has been consistently falling apart(holes in the walls, pipe busted so didnt have running water for a few months, other things) and I absolutely needed to get out of there

Now I just moved into a new place yesterday. Super nice income based apartment(I havent worked since I developed derealization, but I do online college now!) This place is miles better than the previous trailer I was living in, its just not as secluded as my old home. I have a fair bit of neighbors since the whole place is just a bunch of apartments but its so quiet you can't even tell.

My brain is just on the frits at the moment and not used to this place at all even though its so much better and Im stress free from the downsides of my old home. Last night was the first night Ive slept somewhere that wasnt my old home in about 6 years. Any tips on helping to adjust and how long its taken yourself to adjust to a new place?

I recently started to have these derealization episodes or whatever they’re called, I’m not really sure. And I’m 90% sure its because of me being isolated and alone most of the time. If anyone can relate or simply wants to talk or be friends please do dm me. I have discord too

Constant DR. The only time I didn't feel it was just for a few hours in response to a drug I took some years ago.

What exactly are you meant to do in this situation? Over half of my life has been like this. I've tried lots of therapy, medicine etc.

sometimes I will be trying to get homework done, and then I slowly begin to lose the ability to do it. It's as if the dopamine that comes from completing the task gets sucked out of the task randomly (even if it's something i am deeply passionate about), and trying to force myself to do it feels like I am trying to saw off my own arm.

I have tried many strategies:

- I try super hard to visualize either the actual reward that I will get from doing the task, or a fake reward to try to trick my brain.

- I will try to tell myself that the deadline is incredibly soon.

- I will try to write a checklist that I can physically see in front of me to try to motivate myself to get everything on the list done.

But sometimes it gets so bad that nothing seems to work. I have identified different things in my life that I associate with different levels of dopamine/motivation/appeal, some of which are things that I am not too proud of (fast food, scrolling on my phone) and today specifically, even doing all of those things felt like hell.

It felt like I was physically in pain trying to do anything because my brain was screaming "this is not worth your time. this is a waste of energy. you will be hurt badly if you attempt to do these things" and i guess at this point it was screaming this at everything in existence, so I could only just sit in pain all day today.

I should also mention that when I get into these states, my dissociative state gets a lot worse and I can barely conceptualize anything or register different things as real/describe them without it feeling painful.

all of these symptoms mirror some ADHD symptoms, but I know that it's not ADHD because I didn't struggle with these things before the DPDR set in. do any other chronic 24/7 DPDR havers struggle with this? what ways have you dealt with it?