Just on the lookout for any others with bipolar in Australia. I have good supports where i am after years of trial and error, I'm more just putting a feeler out in the hope of connecting with others nearby. I'm keen to share stories and try to build a stronger network of people with bipolar in Australia.

EDIT: I'm opening this to cuzzies across the ditch too as i noticed my post has been seen by some Kiwis. Keen to have your input too!

hi guys! so i’ve been off my meds due to my finical situation for about 3 weeks now and one thing i am realizing is that smoking feels quite different. I was medicated for about 1.5 years and smoked weed regularly and maybe for the past 6/8months ive always had a wax pen on me that i would use throughout the day. since i haven’t been on my meds i can’t explain it yet but i can feel that being high is not as relaxing or nerve calming than it was while i was medicated. I’ve been smoking much less but even when i do it doesn’t seem to help with my anxiety anymore, since that’s what i would use it for now that i think about it. i don’t know im just spewing now but has anyone experienced the different from smoking medication vs unmediated. it’s something i really didn’t consider much. thx :p

edit.. i was taking lamictal

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this but I just booked my wedding reception venue! I’m having a legit wedding!!! I never thought I’d be able to marry someone due to all my various mental illnesses but I actually am! I thought when I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 a couple years ago my partner would be scared off but no! He’s stayed by my side through some of my worst moments and wants to continue doing so!
If I can get married with bipolar 2 you have hope too!

How would you answer this on a screening questionnaire for work?

"Do you have any physical or mental health conditions that could affect your ability to perform the mental and physical functions related to the specific privilege you are requesting?"

If you have bipolar 2 but already medicated and stable, should you answer no? I don't want to lie.

So basically, I’ve always been weird. Not super obviously but I was always confused about social rules, especially among other girls. I got the side glances all the time after speaking and even when people would try to tease me I didn’t always notice. I was “incredibly smart but has trouble focusing” etc. I was diagnosed with ADHD but the meds just made my anxiety worse. I went through a long period of trichotillomania that landed me in therapy at 7.

I just felt so odd and out of place everywhere except playing sports. I was told I was cold all the time and never understood why friends would get upset with me for being insensitive. My mom was constantly overstimulated and would hide it really well in public but crash out afterwards (which I have big time). I remember watching other girls to try and figure out how to even dress and talk “right”. In high school I started abusing substances and it helped me feel like I could be normal in groups for the first time. Ive never had a friend group that didn’t revolve around partying.

I finally opened up to my therapist I’ve been seeing for two years and told I even try to act right talking to her and can’t be truly honest with anyone in my life ever I think. Almost all my friends are neurodivergent is some way or another and so is my family. I didn’t want to fall onto the self diagnosis bandwagon that’s become popular but I feel like the level of overwhelm and stress I’ve felt my whole life can’t be simply attributed to BP2 and my therapist agrees.

I script every conversation and go through multiple times after the fact. I’ve nearly perfected the persona i want to present to people. I can hyper focus for hours on researching subjects but can’t do anything if it feels forced. Sometimes I simply can’t handle the pressure and breakdown and feel like I can’t function for days. My husband says I talk to much sometimes when I get excited and it’s off putting for other people.

I read that people with ASD have a higher chance of being bipolar than the general population and that brings me to my original point, does anyone here relate to what I’m saying or have answers? I even feel hesitant posting this because I might seem…weird and annoying.

I just want to be clear that I am not about to use the phrase "multiple personalities" or "dissociative personality disorder."

I'm talking about a lucid feeling that there are distinct separate versions of "me"

I often find myself asking myself "Are you okay?" And answering "Stop asking me! No! I'm not okay!"

I'll act in a specific way and, in the moment, say to myself "what are you doing? Calm down!"

I've felt this way since I was very young. I feel like there are a few versions of me. A scared or downtrodden me, an objective me, a kind me, an impatient angry me. They flow into each other or separate over time but what's consistent is the me that's angry, frustrated or annoyed with the anxious, sad, scared me.

Is this an experience that chimes with anyone else.

Obviously we're not a fan of saying people are 'crazy' here but it's one of the main things that always made me feel crazy.

One of the side effects I've been experiencing from my medication (lithium and lamotrigine) is apathy.

My psychiatrist says it's undesirable, but honestly, I love it.

Anhedonia and lack of energy are definitely not pleasant, but I find apathy to be a blessing.

I barely feel any emotions these days.

I almost never get irritated, I don't worry, I'm not afraid, I don't feel sad, and I don't miss anyone or anything.

I feel nothing.

And I love it.

This is my new life I guess...

How about you? Do you like feeling nothing?

diagnosed around 2023-2024 and started on abilify 10mg at night and hydroxyzine 100mg prn at night. i tried lamictal but got a rash and my psychiatrist discontinued it. prozac and lexapro didn’t work my depression symptoms so i was started on celexa 20mg then we agreed to get off of it bc i felt okay then ended up admitting myself bc i was suicidal and just recently restarted it. now with that my psychiatrist is worried about me crashing so hard after getting off the celexa and restarting it plus my extreme irritability she recommended a mood stabilizer. i was nervous because she recommended Depakote and Carbamazepine.. then when i expressed my worry with NAFLD and those meds she said lithium could be an option.. i am just wondering for those out there with BP II what is your experience with lithium? i’ve heard so many horror stories about it and witnessed firsthand my grandma become a shell of the woman she once was while she was on it..

So my doctor took me off 42 mgs captlyta and put me on the lowest dose of lamotrigine. She told me to take it at night. Idk if it's the fact I stopped caplyta but I sincerely can't sleep. I've tried everything. It's so bad. I'm sincerely tired but can't sleep.

i had to switch primary insurances recently and it’s fucked up all my care coordination. i haven’t had therapy in a month, i feel like my meds are keeping me holding on by a thread, im struggling with ssdi right now, and it all just feels too much. a lot of childhood trauma resurfacing which is unrelated to the previous things mentioned. sorry this is all over the place, i just have the urge to stop my meds because i know it will trigger some kind of hypomania and im so so so sick of feeling this depressed and hopeless. also, im not in immediate danger, i just needed to vent. just wanted to make that clear. sorry again for this all being confusing and word saladish. i’m just struggling.

My aunty is like my second mother and the only mother figure in my life really.

I called her last week because I was really struggling and now I know because my doctor told me, I’m in a mixed episode.

She told me that I was using my diagnoses (8) as an excuse to be lazy. I was so shocked. When I told her how hurtful that was she went mental at me. Shouting at me and I’ve never even seen her angry.

Am I crazy?? I’m not lazy, I’m depressed and struggling.

Hello, everyone!

I finally found the courage to type this out. I’m usually not the type of person who enjoys chatting or sharing personal things, but for some reason, it feels fun to do so right now. Haha!

Back in 2023, I finally decided to seek professional help because I couldn’t fully understand what was happening to me.

I’ve been dealing with trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder), and I believe some of it may be connected to my childhood experiences.

Growing up, I experienced so much stress and bullying at school because almost everyone in our town knew I was adopted.

On top of that, I had a difficult relationship with my adoptive mother, whom I experienced as narcissistic.

My psychologist and psychiatrist helped me explore my past, from childhood to adulthood, to better understand my behaviours, emotions, and experiences.

Through that process, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Bipolar II Disorder.

Looking back, there’s always been so much chaos in my life. Career, relationships, finances, friendships, and even my sex life. You name it. Haha!

Living with these conditions isn’t easy, especially when I’m going through an episode.

But here’s something I find both fascinating and hilarious about my hypomanic episodes.

During one of those periods, I somehow managed to develop an entire software product related to my work, something I genuinely hope can compete in the market someday.

Imagine having that much energy, creativity, and confidence that you spend months coding and building something from scratch!

Then, when the episode passed, I looked at everything I’d built and thought, “Damn. Did I really code all of this? And now, how am I supposed to finish it when my brain doesn’t have the same energy it had when I started?” 😭😂

I honestly just want to laugh so hard at myself. HAHAHA!

But jokes aside, I’m writing this right now because I’m genuinely happy.

Thanks to therapy, medication, and a lot of self-reflection, I’ve finally started experiencing the peace of mind I’ve been searching for.

I’ve learned that not everyone deserves access to my life, and not everything deserves my energy.

I’ve learned how to let go of people, situations, and things that no longer contribute positively to my well-being.

And honestly, surrounding yourself with people who have high emotional intelligence just hits differently.

There’s something incredibly peaceful about being around people who understand boundaries, communicate maturely, and don’t turn everything into unnecessary drama.

I’m 36F now, and the older I get, the more I realise that peace of mind is one of the most valuable things I can have.

At this stage of my life, I don’t need constant excitement, chaos, or validation. I just want a clear mind, emotional stability, healthy relationships, and the ability to recognise and manage situations that might trigger another episode.

I know I can’t control everything about how my brain works, but I’m learning to understand myself better and take care of my mental health.

And maybe that’s what growth looks like for me.
Not having everything figured out. Not having a perfect life. Not being happy every single day.

Just finally learning how to live with myself, protect my peace, and appreciate the calm after so many years of chaos.

And for once, that feels more than enough. ❤️

I havent been able to get a psych and i’ve been out of my meds and I feel fine? i guess? nothing big worth noting has come about but i also have been having the worst memory.
my life for the first time is stable and… i hate it. i feel bored and i feel nothing. i feel like i can’t function when i’m alone and i feel like i need more when my boyfriend is home.
i’ve also been sober and.. i hate it! nothing is enough and i feel like i’ve been in this forever endless loop of trying to find something to make me feel better.

my question is, am i just stable for the first time and it’s uncomfortable? and if i am, do i really have bipolar considering i have been off meds?

I'm Dad. I was having a serious depressive episode yesterday. The added stress of travel and visiting people just seemed overwhelming. So the night before the trip I just decided I couldn't go. It wasn't good for me. If I really have this bipolar thing this is a line I needed to draw, how I needed to care for myself. My wife and kids got on the plane without me. I feel guilty for letting them down. I have mixed feelings about it. I do think though that it was the right choice in terms of my symptoms, I have the space to do nothing, be depressed, talk to no one. I found the movie "The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive" and that is keeping me company

Hi,

I (23M) am interested in learning more about your experiences and steps toward diagnosis as I might be on my way to mine.

To cut a long story short, I've had serious mental health issues since I was 15 (never been diagnosed with anything as I've never spoken up about it until I started to have suicidal thoughts last year)

I happened to take the Mood Disorder Questionnaire and was strongly advised to turn to professionals for further evaluations. I've talked about it with my regular doctor, she recommended not to go to a psychiatrist, as it's normal to have your ups and downs and as there is a long waiting period to get an appointment. Then, I thought she was right and felt like a huge fraud, like trying to steal sb's actual suffering to some extent.

Now, after discussing my situation more in details with my therapist, she thought it might be a good idea to get some psychiatrist insight as there is me disorder underlying. Overall, I'm lost. I don't want to feel like a fraud and being considered a fool. On the other hand, I want (and I need) help.
Your experience will help me. Thank you!

I'll be direct.

I have lived with depression marked mainly by anhedonia, lack of motivation and slowed thinking since i exist. That is my modus operandi. However, after all these years - i'm 26 now - i started paying attention to my mood everyday and i realized that i might be going through cycles. I have always had short periods of enhanced mood, but only now i realized that those apparently follow a pattern. I might be wrong tho.

What i noticed is that i am depressed for aproximately 2 weeks and then i have 3 to 5 days of a high mood. The entering to the high mood period is sudden. One day i'm depressed and then in the following day i already wake up with significantly improved energy levels and that is preceded by a short night of sleep, usually 5 hours. The periods are like this:

Depressive state:

- Non-existent motivation

- Body feels heavy, my movements lack fluidity, like i'm under water

- Slowed thinking, i struggle to articulate sentences, i struggle with word recall

- Terrible executive functions, i struggle to organize the steps of what i want to do properly

- I don't like talking, my speech lacks emotion and it annoys me to have people asking me stuff

- Music and gaming feels empty

I basically don't do anything on this state, everything is pointless, nothing is satisfying, it's just a miserable period where i just wait for the day to end hoping that it will be different tomorrow.

Good period:

- Much more motivated

- My body feels light, movements are fluid and organized

- My cognition is crazingly sharp, i articulate sentences in a very fluid way and my word recall is a lot improved as i use a lot of fancy words on my speech

- Executive functions are improved, not great still tho

- It's easier for me to talk and i might even like it, but small talk is still not something i love. My speech exhales emotion on this state, mainly confidence and enthusiasm

- Music feels divine and i notice details that apparently i couldn't hear when depressed. Gaming feels better and my performance is dramatically improved

- Narcissistic feelings

What do you guys think?

First, I wanted to thank this amazing subreddit. I have been dealing with a lot of uncertainty and loneliness lately, and this sub has never made me feel unwelcome.

I know that imposter syndrome is very common with bipolar. And that has been a major focus of my OCD. My psych actually told me that bipolar is "either you have it or you don't." Which I understood to mean that if I actually had it, it would be obvious.

I have convinced myself that my problems are mild. Even though pretty much every day I will have a crash and lay on the floor. Sometimes crying, sometimes with suicidal ideation (without intent). I have no friends. I've become increasingly irresponsible with school. And I've barely been eating or sleeping. Yet I've convinced myself it's not that bad, or that its actually just my own fault.

I know none of the self-blame is true. But I can't help feeling that way. Not looking for advice, just support ❤️

With the recent diagnosis I’m trying my best to be mindful about my behavior towards my partner, but I’m not sure what is the best way to avoid making conflict without simply taking space. I can recognize that it may be hurtful to request a period of absence in order to ensure I’m not cruel while my emotions are high.

My partner has been incredibly patient and understanding even when I do not deserve it. I don’t want to hurt him any more than I have.

So I’m reaching out to the community to gather experiences and skills y’all have applied to have a successful relationship.

To note, I am in individual and couples therapy - but want to hear personal experiences so I can approach my partner with ideas to make a plan :)

Promised i would give periodic updates because a lot of newer people seem very curious but people who update typically stop updating fast. I think this will be my last update. Basically felt like depression around week 10 fully stopped. Around week 12-13 the last new thing I noticed was my hypos have basically stopped (i rapid cycle or still on the fence am i cyclothymic or bp2) my doc now gave buproion a few days ago to help get my libido up. I was shocked when ny hypo day came (i have a very specific schedule and basically always know when it's coming) it hardly went up even after adding buproion 150, before finding out im bipolar i was diagnosed with depression and given buproion, it seriously made ny hypos wayyy stronger esp first two months. This time im actually kinda disappointed it hardly nudged it now once the day came lol,miss them (although when i had the up days suddenly wanted more aggressive sex and felt manlier?) it's such a giant relief to not have depression although after the up days still about half day of hardly noticeable crash. Will keep updating hopefully more of the anhedonia side can lift now.

My grandmother and aunt.

I had been recently broken up with and wash washing dishes. I heard this sudden and perfectly clear voice saying “How bad do you want him?”
“A lot. More than anything” I thought.
“Well, there’s something we can do for you”
And they bring up a witch spell, and how they’ll get him back for me and they witch laugh and I laugh with them in my brain.

It didn’t work.

I wish it was real.

i really want to know your guys’ experiences, with diagnoses, and day to day life with it. how do you feel daily? how did you feel after being diagnosed? what works for you, and what doesnt?

I’m only on lamictal and klonopin but my brain never shuts up. Also diagnosed OCD. I have epilepsy as well so a lot of ssris don’t sound worth it to me with all the side effects but I’m genuinely curious if some people have some success stories for me! I have a friend who said Zoloft worked very well for her but she is on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers as well. I’m becoming emotionally tired, I know I probably need something else 🧎🏻‍♀️

I’d usually take Promethazine to get to sleep but we currently have a shortage rn. So instead I took some zopiclone (which I rarely do but it is there for emergencies) and it’s literally not doing anything at all. I was at least expecting it to make me sleepy, I’m just feeling moderately chilled but sleep is still a big no-no. Been lying here for about 5 hours just staring into space.

Gonna need to call the doc in the morning because it’s been two days and I’m starting to feel like sleep just isn’t happening. Any suggestions are warmly welcome atp it’s 4:30am on day 2 without sleep

New med has messed me up and now I'm balls deep in a mixed episode, has anything helped you recover besides meds (waiting to hear back if I can retry an old med)? I feel like I'm doing everything I can to help myself but I still feel so stuck. Advice pls??