I am genderqueer (afab, going by they/them for maybe 3-4yrs now). This has been a long standing argument since i first used the term.

I was named after both my maternal and paternal great-grandmothers. And according to my mum, due to the 'historical meaning' (unsure what she means by this, but very willing to be educated if need-by), a deadname is used in reference to someone who is rejected by their family/parents in terms of identity.

My parents are both accepting, but I've kinda argued that the term 'deadname' is more used as a general term to describe a name used before coming out, rather than 'given name' or 'birth name' which my mum says i should use.

I've said that in my eyes it's more based on intent (similarly to how I won't take offence if someone accidentally uses the wrong name or pronouns, as long as it's accidental/unknowingly and not maliciously), but she disagrees and will not listen to me.

Other people's thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Am I in the wrong?

Im arguing with my friend about it so i figured id ask the experts. Im saying its pronounced Bla-Ha, hes saying its Blow-High. Help me out here

So for context I've been out as bi for a few years and my mum is supportive.
but she is also a supporter of reform UK.

well i couldn't take it when she was talking about the French protests and how people are using it to push trans stuff and said that I've been thinking about it for months and think I'm trans.

but she just said she doesn't care what I am, I'm me. she wants safe spaces for women and some trans women are going into these spaces like toilets and she thinks that's unfair for "normal" women

and then she said that something like gender neutral toilets with strong locks and security or police buzzers and alarms would fix the issue.

and now I'm very confused. like I think she is just worried about women safety and the economy but I cant stand reform anymore.

anyone got advice on how I could show some statistics or something to show that reform is just evil and bad at money or something? idk what to do.

So I'm trans and one of my best friends know this. Shes fine with this and accepts me but when I mention hrt (specifically for minors which I am one rn) she tells me that I should wait and that minors could die from taking it?? I've been trying to find articles or research on this but I can't get a definitive answer. Is she fear mongering or is there valid concern?

Like the title says, I've been pondering names for myself in the future and I really like the name Ashley, I feel like it's a common MtF name? Is it actually a common name or am I being neurotic?

I swear every time I work up the motivation to try to pick up voice training again, it gets sapped away so quick because literally every single video that claims to be a basic voice training guide turns out to be an hour-long theory lecture with maybe 1 minute covering actual exercises.

I don't need to know every minute function of the Phonatory System in order to sound more feminine. Surely to God its not that hard to just walk people through exercises and then briefly explain why they work AFTER the fact.

Hi i’m Skye (MtF) might start estrogen but unsure which to choose i’m in uk

I hate how whenever my father sees that I have my hands on my hips, he will very over exaggerate my posture and pose and say shit like "you look like a fucking f**got when you do that, son"

Need some advice.

I’m 28, MTF. Been on HRT for almost two years. Due to where I live, I present male socially cause I simply wouldn’t last out here. I wear a loose binder to hide my boobs, always have my hair up, and keep alittle scruff to sell the bit despite being told “bro, you look like a chick.” A couple of times, though I think it’s mostly just a dig on my long hair. I need to lose about 60lbs to achieve the ideal body shape I want. I am a single parent of two amazing kiddos, and have no help from any family, and their other mom is spotty at best as far as taking them when she’s supposed to. She’s had them for 2 days in the last 5 months. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t even ask her or try because I think at this point it’s better to not give the kids any idea that their mom not being around is their fault or that there’s something wrong with them.

Aaannnnyyywaaaaayyys, I’ve lost 100lbs before. A really messed up marriage later and I stress ate myself into a 60lb weight gain. I also drink a lot. Never drunk. maybe three or four drinks every other night after the kids go to bed. I try to not drink, listen to how to stop videos, and even have gone a week or two without it. However, as soon as I feel bad, I just drink. Alcohol and weight loss aren’t two things that really go together. I’m therapists shopping, because I realize this isn’t something that I can beat on my own. I’m not an alcoholic, but it’s an unhealthy crutch that gives me nothing but fake relief. Those of you that have been in my shoes, what steps did you take to find lasting sobriety and the ability to achieve your goals? I feel like I’m spinning my wheels.

Thanks for reading my vent.

I've been discovering more about myself lately, and one thing feels so natural to me: my femininity. It's not something I dream about or try to become. It's already a part of me. The more I accept myself, the more comfortable I feel with my feminine side and my own body. Sometimes it's hard to explain, but deep inside, it just feels right. I'm learning to appreciate myself for who I am, and that feeling means a lot to me. 🏳️‍⚧️

I 18 m , have discovered that i was trans at the ripe age of 10 , yes 10 , but throughout the years i didnt think of anything except socially transitioning and didnt understand how HRT works until 16, i was in a fight within myself all this time until i was 17 i have confessed to myself that i am in fact a transwoman , ive always felt like one, but tried to ignore it as much as i could , as i live in a conservative christian family , its really hard for me to transition socially especially in a country were queer people have little to no rights. I dont want it to take any much longer ngl im scared that ill get more masc but ive already gone thru puberty with that said my voice isnt the deepest , my face isnt the most masc looking and i would say it leans to more fem and also my figure and fat distribution goes to my thighs so idk if ill get more masc or not and speaking of which my muscle mass is low and im weak as it is and when i compare myself to my male siblings i literally have nothing of what they have which is good muscle mass and overall masc looking , so would you gals recommend for me to start HRT and hide it from my family and transition socially as soon as i get out of here?

So after checks watch some 30is years of trying to tell myself “It’s all a phase”, “It’s a fetish”, “You’re just confused”, I’m finally admitting to myself that I’m trans. I’d be happier as a woman because inmost cases I can’t see how it would change my daily life besides losing my Scary Dog Privilege that I feel gross using anyway. Plus dresses and makeup and the stuff that calls to me and makes me so jealous when I see other women who get to do those things.

But it also means the end of my marriage. It means the possibility that I lose EVERYTHING in the divorce. It means a LOT of expensive work (laser, hormones, BA, probably other so I look passable), and it means YEARS more of being upset in the limbo I’m in.

The worse part is I have moments when I’m ok as Male Me. I exist, I’m doing things without dysphoria pain. If I can have these moments, why do I have to be so dysphoric in the shower? My shower is where I can close my eyes and be me. Imagine my real shape instead of seeing the fur covered bear in the water. I hate the bear so much I’m on the edge of starving myself to be at least an otter. I hate big hairy me.

It feels like admitting I’m Kathrynn has done a little to lower the dysphoria and has instead just made me angry every time I find myself ok with male me.

Can I get a hug?

Hello, i'm Stefani (she/her) and today i changed my name and gender in one of the most important documents! I'm so happy that i spent the whole afternoon crying like a child and wanted to share.

Now i need to update the rest, but with time i'll get there, especially now that I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

so my dad out of nowhere said i had to go get my hair cut again, but i really want to grow it out. I told him i wanted to grow it out and he told me that that time has passed and that i shouldnt.

The thing is i feel much more comfortable with long(er) hair and don’t want to get it cut. i am still closeted so i can’t just tell him why. what do i do?
T-T

edit: holy moly, i did not expect this many people to see this and actually give advice. thank you all for your kind words and advice on how to handle the situation 🫶🫶🫶

and yeah im definitely not giving in and will give him a piece of my mind.

Coming from a trans man:
I don’t understand the concept of being born with whichever parts and receiving a name that’s expected to be used for the rest of your life, and if you say anything about it, SOME people are gonna get upset and insist that what you were born as is what you are.

From the other perspective, I’m ‘incorrect’, especially if the person knew me as my deadname for a long time, but to me (and people who respect my identity), I am a guy

It gets painful sometimes, I just don’t know what to think :(

‘Was I a girl because people were telling me I was or was I just going with it?’

I'm mtf and I would like to prevent breast growth bc I'm trying to conceal the fact I'm on HRT from my parents. You know, breast growth is the most visible effect. Raloxifene is not affordable for me bc it costs above 70$ in my country. But I couldn't find any people using tamoxifene for this purpose. Do you think it will work?

vocês acham caro uma consulta online com endocrinologista por 450 reais ? eu so pesquisei uma até agora, então nao sei se ela ta cobrando muito caro ou essa é a média de preço

Our family is extremely bigoted and queerphobic, yet I never thought of my sister as such, (I also have a brother who I think(?) isn’t transphobic but I’ve no idea how to come out to him, though he keeps pushing heteronormativity and my birth sex’s stereotypes on me) she’s bisexual + has original characters who are queer (including non-binary, I made her a doll of said character for her birthday) yet everytime I talk to her she keeps referring to me using my birth sex, I correct her and for the remainder of the interaction she uses the correct gender (I should mention that she does not apologize).

Everytime we start a new conversation she forgets newly. I came out to her a month ago, I keep telling myself ”It’s because I came out recently” but I’m starting to have a hard time believing that now.

I would not be surprised if she believes I’ll detransition at some point/only doing this to be “quirky”. Our relationship has always been complicated, but I never thought I’d regret coming out to her of all people.

When I was younger I used to present a lot as my birth sex due to how I was raised + used to do a sport that’s associated with my birth sex, maybe that’s why? Though that’s what I’ve seen from pictures, I have zero memories of my childhood.

Each time it reminds me of how I’ll never be able to actually be non-binary and will always have a real gender, I despise it. I haven’t told her my name and honestly I’d rather have her deadname me ignorantly than on purpose.

If anyone has experience with similar situation or has some advice I’d be happy to hear.

Hello, I'm 22 (M) and I finally have the encouragement to come out. I've loved being feminine since I was a teenager however I am unable to get a transition surgery with how expensive it is for me but HRT comes to mind which is slightly cheaper and seems manageable for me to handle.

At the same time, I live in an environment where being trans is unacceptable and it's hard for me to socially transition. It's such a complicated situation that I'd like to just stay in my room, wear make up and dress up a LOT. Because I really loved it, Do you all think it's okay for me to do this? I would also love to identify myself as trans but being unable to trans gives me hesitation that I shouldn't identify myself as such 😭

So, I have been out long enough that not much gets to me. But I posted something totally unrelated to me (I happened to pass an accident and warned others of the blocked road) and I am being DOGPILED by transphobes posting a picture of me and mocking me. I live in what I used to consider a safer area, but its become clear the transphobes are there and feel emboldened. I'm just disgusted by the hate. This is not on reddit though.

2000 – 2009

2005: Wanting a girl's body.

2005: Wanting to attend school as a girl in a pleated skirt.

2008: Experiencing internal identity as "Rachael" alongside external identity as Matthew.

2008: Feeling internally like a girl.

2010 – 2019

2010: Experiencing a sense of internal split.

2015: Seeing a young girl in mirror reflection.

2015: Wearing girls' school uniforms (experienced without clear awareness).

2016: Feeling that being a girl is not fair for others at home.

2017: Feeling like the only girl at home.

2017: No girls at home to share experiences.

2017: Wanting to be a girl.

2020 – 2029

2021: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without external markers.

2021: Wanting a Disney Princess-themed little girl's bedroom and dollhouse.

2024: I'm referred for gender dysphoria.

2025: Wanting to wear school uniform with skirt, sweatshirt and yellow polo.

2026: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without makeup.

Note: The years listed represent the period in which each experience or pattern first emerged or became identifiable, not the full duration of that experience.

I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship, thankfully being trans isn't a factor.... However I'm trans and I kinda want to escape my life. I know I need to really start over and free myself from all my abusers.

I hear Washington is a very welcoming place for us trans folk. Currently my only job is Uber eats delivery driving....I genuinely do not know how to find a job and don't really have any money to begin with..... I'm 35 and have never found myself as a person and I want to really live and have queer friends