r/TooAfraidToAsk • • Jun 25 '26

Moderator Post We will not be removing all sexual questions.

613 Upvotes

We've had a few complaint threads, so it seems to be about that time for one of these reminders. Let me be clear: We are not going to ban all sex related questions.

They are firmly within "TooAfraidtoAsk", and always have been. Sex is a fairly taboo topic in a lot of places, and a lot of people have questions about it. (And as an additional reminder, TATA is not only for controversial questions. Nor do we allow question shaming for "googleable" questions). These are not new changes.

We get that not everyone has the same interest in those topics, but it is a core part of the sub. Currently, there are ~5 out of the top 10 posts being sex related. Earlier today, it was 4. Earlier this week, it was 3. It typically fluctuates between ~3-5, usually averaging closer to 3.

If you have particular suggestions (e.g. things that seem ripe for the FAQ), or questions feel free to post them below. No promises, but we're always open for improvements if they're feasible. For a list of common questions we get on this topic (what do we already moderate, has the sub changed?, can i filter posts myself?) see the first stickied comment.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • May 11 '26

Politics Politics Megathread

29 Upvotes

You know the deal, same as the previous megathreads, which were archived.

The rules:

All top level OP must be questions. This is not a soapbox. If you want to rant or vent, please do it elsewhere. Otherwise, the usual sidebar rules apply (in particular: Rule 1:Be Kind and Rule 3:Be Genuine).

The default sorting is by new to make sure new questions get visibility, but you can change the sorting to top if you want to see the most common/popular questions.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 4h ago

Sex Lasting 30-80mins 4 times in a row while having sex? NSFW

116 Upvotes

I’m 18, started dating a new girl and lost my virginity to her. Yes I’ve jerked off since I was 12. I have taken multiple few week long breaks and most recently haven’t ejaculated in 4 weeks. I’ve had with this girl 4 times in the last 3 weeks and every time I can’t finish. I’ve considered the obvious like me being used to a tighter grip from masturbating for so long and all that. It’s just really starting to concern me and I want to nut during sex and I won’t do it to porn.

I don’t fully understand what’s wrong lol. Anyone relate?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 17h ago

Interpersonal Why are people in Florida so awful?

1.0k Upvotes

Just moved from California to Florida and seem to be having these bizarre experiences (across every day, dating, etc) of these incredibly rude, close minded, and entitled people who are just awful. It’s not everyone but there is a lot. How did this state become this way?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 12h ago

Sex How do I start giving my fiance blowjobs? NSFW

364 Upvotes

So here’s the thing. I (f36) have been with my fiance (m41) for almost 20 years. In the beginning my sexdrive was incredible. Then one day out of the blue it vanished. I had no need for anything. Just a kiss every once in a while. It bothered the both of us for many years. About 12 years. Then some time ago…. BAM…. Sexdrive was back, and more insatiable than ever. I can go for hours and several times a day. Even the thought of just being able to give him something turns me on. But the thing is, I’ve never been able to give a blowjob to any man I’ve been with. I think I am afraid of the taste of semen, or the fact that he might cum in my mouth/on my face. My fiancé and I are very open to eachother and he knows everything. But I thought, why not try asking the people on Reddit. Because this is really something I wanna do. Maybe it’s just a mental barrier I need to get over?

What are you guy’s advice?
Also sorry for any typos, English is not my first language.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 17h ago

Other What is up with “grape” flavor?

448 Upvotes

I’m eating a bagel with grape jelly as I type this. What is up with “grape” flavor?

Why does basically every grape flavored candy, soda, medicine, popsicle, etc. taste like the exact same weird purple flavor, but almost nothing like an actual grape?

Where did that flavor come from? Is it based on some variety of grape I’ve never had, or did someone just invent “purple” flavor 100 years ago and we all agreed to call it grape?

Seriously, who decided this is what grapes taste like?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 8h ago

Politics Why does the African Union insist on keeping colonial borders?

68 Upvotes

I'm a Politics student in university and writing an essay on failed states (Somalia in particular) and how the term should be replaced with better terminology.

However, it has had me thinking as I research more, why does the African Union want to preseve colonial borders that cause so much trouble?

Surely it would be better for the AU to act as a sort of mediating force that allows for peaceful secession of different countries (like overseeing plebicites which could've prevented many bloody wars like Biafra, Benin, Somali irridentist campaigns, etc and tensions like in Northern Nigeria and Cameroon) and land swaps to occur and make different countries more stable and friendly with each other.

Apologies if this is a sort of naiive or ignorant question to ask, African politics haven't really been my focus of study in the past.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 8h ago

Love & Dating Why do I get "you look like you only date white girls" ?

46 Upvotes

I am a black male 22 and I often get that told "you look like you only date white" or they will throw Hispanic women in the mix.

Some say "or a really smart black woman"

I have heard this from women across the board of all races.
Even from white women themselves often even unprompted.

It concerns me due to the perception of black men that only date white women. Usually they are seen as:

Weak
Bad dressers
Bad haircuts

I am in great shape
My hair is maintained
I am very hard to anger and well adjusted

It feels crazy to me because I have never factored in race in my dating preferences. It's all about who they are as a person for me. Bad and great people come in all colors.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 4h ago

Love & Dating Why is it so hard for me to start dating?

20 Upvotes

I’m 26 fucking years old and have never dated. I genuinely don’t understand it. I’ve had to watch EVERY single one of my friends find romantic partners and have sex effortlessly for the last 11 years. All the innocent high school memories I never got to have. I don’t know how they did it. I don’t know how you go from “meeting” someone to “talking” and then “dating” People explain it like it’s this easy thing, yet whenever I try and take the most basic step, everything falls apart.

It’s getting to the point where honestly, I feel disconnected from most people my age now. They describe sex like it’s nothing and are so much more experienced and yet look at me like I’m some lesser person, or not a “real man” because I’m still a virgin. I legit am treated like I’m not “one of the boys” because of it and it pisses me the fuck off. Especially because so much of why I AM still a virgin does boil down in large part to the fact I had to sacrifice all social opportunities from the age of 18 until now because I was born into literal poverty and had to work throughout school to get to where I am right now. I had to work throughout high school and fucking college because one of my parents died and the other is stuck working in minimum wage jobs. I didn’t have rich parents which enabled me to fucking actually enjoy my youth. Now I’m stuck in corporate hell with nothing.

The last time I was even REMOTELY close to dating someone was 10 years ago, in 2016. It’s been that long. It was with a girl who secretly liked me and I was too afraid to make a move. I found out years later by which time she was already taken. To this stay I’m still not over her (pathetic, I know). Ever since then I’ve been focused primarily on school and survival. I work now as an engineer in defense which is heavily comprised of right-wing men. There’s no opportunities to meet women. Also doesn’t help that I’m stuck in Iowa too. Stuck here until June of next year due to my job offer contract.

I don’t know if it’s my looks. I have an underbite, am skinny, have a crooked nose, and have wrinkled skin that makes me look 20 years older. I don’t think I’m hideous, but standards in the dating app era are insane. You have to have perfectly smooth skin, perfect teeth, muscles, symmetrical face, defined eyebrows and overall look like a fucking Greek god to even be recognized as a sentient being. If you fail the looks test on Tinder or whatever, immediately you’re discarded as subhuman trash. That’s just the brutal reality. I guess I could hit the gym, but I don’t know if that’d compensate for my underbite and skin condition (eczema).

Like I’m not a boring person. I’m socially pretty confident. I’m funny. I consider myself a pretty well rounded person. I have a diverse knowledge of the world and consider myself unique. But none of that seems to matter in the modern dating scene. It’s legit all instant gratification, normalization of outright toxicity, and unattainably high fucking standards on both sides. I’ve tried meeting people in person, but people these days are increasingly withdrawn, on edge, have their guard up, and are addicted to “talking” to multiple people at a time through dating apps. Basic communication skills don’t seem to exist anymore. Dating app companies literally have control over the minds of billions of people currently. They’ve managed to get billions of people addicted to their service. It’s baffling.

I’m just trying to gain insights from other late bloomers out there. I’m honestly scared right now. I’m soon gonna be 27. My family is all dead. Most of my friends have double digit body counts, or are married or about to be. I’m getting to a critical stage in life where something needs to change, but I don’t know what. I’m terrified I’ll be single like this 10, 15, 20 years from now. I honestly just crave companionship. I want someone to share the remainder of my youth with. Someone who loves me for who I am. Is that even possible in the 21st century?!


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 14h ago

Ethics & Morality Why do people judge all men based on bad experiences, but understand that doing the same with race is wrong?

135 Upvotes

Hey, so a few weeks back I saw a video where they said something like, 'racists love statistics until they realize that it’s all men.' After that, I started seeing many videos like this, and now I'm wondering... All these 'man-haters' are nearly always hardcore anti-racists. This confuses me, because they often say they've had bad experiences with men, which I understand, but isn't that sexist?
Having prejudices against another gender is just like having prejudices against other races. It seems to me that it has become 'normalized' to hate men. Has anyone else thought about this and seen the problem, or is it just me?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 11h ago

Sexuality & Gender Are gay men not wearing condoms anymore? NSFW

78 Upvotes

I was looking at statistics and it seems to be a resurgence of HIV positive cases among gay men. Since PrEP has become so popular, I would like to know if gay men have completely ceased use of condoms


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 3h ago

Interpersonal Would you feel left out if a friend asked another to hang out right in front of you, with no invite directed towards you?

13 Upvotes

I don't mean a situation where you're within earshot, like a time when you are actively there and they ask right in front of you, or a group text but the invites only directed towards the friend


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 14h ago

Love & Dating Am I crazy for wanting to break up?

88 Upvotes

27m, gf is 25f. Weve been dating 6 years and living tigether for 4. Weve gone about a year without sex right now because i have lost desire to initiate. My girlfriend is an angel and shes so good to me, but we are not sexually compatible (she has zero sex drive, we suspect she may be asexual because this persists independed of pretty much every variable that people usually say causes it) she is the perfect gf and I would've married her already if it wasn't for this. The only problem is that its really important to me and without this physical aspect I just feel like her roommate, like im living with my best friend. Awesome roommate, but a roommate nonetheless. Its been wearing on me for years because its such a tough decision. I want to have the things that are important to me but I dont want to break up and ruin my relationship with my gf I love dearly. Shes so trustworthy and an an amazing person who truly wants us to jusy grow and be successful together. I think shes a rare person and I dont want to throw it away

Weve talked about it many times and it always goes in circles. Talk, she gets defensive, she realizes i love her and i just dont have my needs met. She says she is worried she will never be able to be more sexual. We come up with ideas to try and fix the situation because we dont want to break up. Then nothing changes and we go back to being roommates. I really love her and I almost care about her happiness more than my own, but sometimes I feel like maybe I need to break up with her because im the wrong person for her.

Tf do I do


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 4h ago

Culture & Society Why is it more acceptable to hate and stereotype people from other states in the United States but not other countries?

11 Upvotes

r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 3h ago

Culture & Society Is going out solo pathetic?

9 Upvotes

My birthday is coming up and as usual I don’t have anyone to spend it with. But I want to go to color me mine. I know it’s a place for dates and friends, so would it be as pathetic as I think it would be to go alone?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 16h ago

Health/Medical If a dog smells my crotch, does that mean I need to wash more thoroughly?

114 Upvotes

Basically the title, is this just a normal thing for a dog to do? or have I got an issue? I shower everyday, but this has made me wonder if there's an issue...


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 1d ago

Sex how to propose the idea of friends with benefits ?!!!! NSFW

802 Upvotes

okay, let’s cut to the chase -
i (25f) am in no way looking for a relationship.
however!!!! needs need met, lol
so there’s this guy, (27m) i haven’t talked to him in probably a year but each time i do it’s like that old saying about riding a bike again.
previously, probably when i was 18 or 19, i spent the night with him.
we were so enthralled with eachother we never even got to penetration.
Anywayyyyy that was the best sexual encounter of my freaking life ?!!!!!
i think about it often, like its basically become my fantasy to have a night like that with him again
of course i’ve flirtatiously chatted with him inbetween now and then, and i’m not usually so shy - but i get the feeling he’s not a hookup type of guy.
i mean im not the hookup type of girl either but with him… i think i might be 😂
everytime we talk he’s sort of begging to take me on a date or something which is sweet, but not what i want from him lol
how do i go about this?!!!


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 8h ago

Ethics & Morality Is it bad/evil to not care about someone's death because they were bad/evil alive?

24 Upvotes

Like lets say the toxic manager died, the one who made work hell for you and your peers and you now don't care you're a little relieved he is gone is that bad?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 13h ago

Habits & Lifestyle I don’t like food anymore and I don’t know why?

52 Upvotes

I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t struggle with my body image. But for some reason lately, it doesn’t matter what I eat it’s nasty. I can make a dish myself when I sit down and eat it just doesn’t taste good. Food doesn’t even taste good when I’m at a restaurant or when it’s fast food. I used to sit down and really enjoy a meal. I used to be excited to sit down and eat. I eat once a day, one singular meal at the middle of my day so the fact that I can’t even eat that is really hard.

I think it might have to do with the fact that I’m away from home and I think where I live does add context because it’s known for cuisine, but I’m far away from Louisiana. When my dad would cook and I would never feel this way. I regard him as the best cook ever so maybe that’s y?

Either way it’s a problem for me because I can’t eat anything and feel satisfied. Never in my life have I forced myself to eat food I was taught since I was young to always finish a meal but lately I genuinely cannot eat because I just wanna throw it all up the second It hits my mouth. It’s more annoying than anything and I think it’s a mental issue I have because I’ve never acted like this before.

Now the only thing I can eat is a turkey sandwich with mayonnaise, Trix cereal, and a double chocolate muffin. (well the only thing I can eat without feeling sick)


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 41m ago

Habits & Lifestyle Why do I have clothes I like but still feel like I have nothing to wear?

• Upvotes

I can have a full wardrobe and still stand in front of it for 20 minutes trying to find something to wear. Sometimes everything suddenly looks wrong, even outfits I liked a few days ago. Does anyone else do this or am I just terrible at choosing clothes?


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 9h ago

Other is it odd that i look at coffins and find them comfy?

19 Upvotes

Like, imaging yourself laying there permanently or getting cremated too like idk it fascinates me. Like i imagine myself laying there personally and just the idea of resting inside of a burial plot sounds okay


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 1d ago

Love & Dating If a cis woman dove into an Olympic sized swimming pool of fresh, viable semen, would she get pregnant? NSFW

1.8k Upvotes

Just wondering


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 1h ago

Culture & Society Are rape jokes “dark humor” even if it’s directed towards someone?

• Upvotes

I’ve seen a lot of comments from men saying that rape jokes are just dark humor and can be funny like for example “what do 9/10 people enjoy? Gang rape”, but do they still think this logic can apply to a rape joke towards a specific woman they dislike or towards someone in general?

Just curious. I personally believe it’s disgusting to make a joke that includes rape about women or men.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 1d ago

Love & Dating What's up with XL unusual bulges on men?

586 Upvotes

So there's this guy at work who walks like a penguin and always has a bulge that's like the hood of an antique car. I'm super-duper into him for other reasons, but I'm really curious what's going on there anatomically. Balls like mangos? Stick so long it has to be stored like a garden hose? Wind chimes? Hernia? Maybe he wears his belt too low and it's cutting off circulation?

Please, any man who has had this trait, or woman with the DL, fill me in on what causes this. I'm desperately curious but also am definitely not going to ask. In case you're wondering, it does not look like resting boner. It looks like grocery bag ready to split. I don't hate it at all, but I need to know what I'm getting into. If I get into it. Which is hypothetical at best.


r/TooAfraidToAsk • • 16h ago

Current Events What's an unpopular sports opinion you guys will defend to this day ??

56 Upvotes