I’m f•••••• proud of myself right now. At work, low on motivation and energy, after I just did a complicated and stressful task. Thought to myself, need something to boost me and went for a walk and bought some chocolate and not alcohol - which I probably would have done just a few weeks ago. Anyway - feeling good about it

I'm 4.5 years in deep. I'm triggered by life events and all I want to do is have a glass of red wine. I don't think anything or anyone can stop me but I also need to share this because maybe I just need to hear "don't do it" from people who get it.

Well, I went to the doctor today for my annual physical. I had my blood drawn last week ahead of the appointment so that I could discuss the results with the doctor. The main thing that came out of that is that my liver enzymes (or whatever) are high, indicating fatty liver. She said at this point it’s completely reversible but that I have to make significant changes now - otherwise if I don’t this can progress to cirrhosis.

I’m obese so weight is a significant factor, but I was honest with her about how much I’m drinking. She said I need to completely quit drinking alcohol at least until my liver function returns to normal.

I’m trying to process that, figure out how I feel about that. I admit to myself that I drink too much but I keep asking myself, “It’s not *that* much, right? I’m not an alcoholic, am I?” I know that at this point I won’t have any dangerous medical withdrawal symptoms because I don’t drink every day, but trying to wrap my head around both the absence of drinking and what this means about me as a person is tough to reconcile.

As an Iraq veteran, I suppose it’s a bit of a cliche, but I’ve been self medicating for 20 years and all of a sudden that thing that has been around to soothe me is no longer an option. Of course rationally I know this is a good thing - alcohol does far more harm than good, it’s been a blocker preventing me from achieving a number of goals, rationally I know that. But it just makes me feel sad and kind of, I guess “unmoored”. 

My wife is already gung ho *for me*, which I’m really thankful for. She can drag me into our new journey of improving our health kicking and screaming. But when she said “On Friday we can have mocktails!” I just felt disappointment. And it just sounds silly. I don’t know, I’ve known for a while that I needed to limit drinking, but being told I have to entirely quit, at least for some undetermined period of time just feels like a rug pull.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I’ve had a serious binge drinking problem and after a year sober I started trying to moderate and it went as expected. I left to Thailand to do a DIY fitness rehab. For the World Cup I said I will just have 2 drinks… next thing I remember fighting and kicking police officers, they tazed me multiple times and cuffed me so hard I’ve got a huge scar. It was as bad as expected, worst hangover of my life, in a cell covered in shit and a hole to poop in. Barely any water they’d give you tiny bottles. God it was awful and I had no idea what I was charged with. The cell was unbelievably hot, I felt like I was dying. I was just sliding around the concrete floor. Thankfully the officer didn’t press charges if I paid up… I was arrested for public drunken nuisance and criminal damage to the officers equipment. I was essential extorted and it cost me £2.7k to resolve… the police drove me around to atm after atm. I know I was being extorted but I couldn’t face that cell anymore.i I also recorded myself on my rampage and I was rubbing into traffic lying on the road blocking cars and hurling insults at everyone daring them to run me over.

I’m lucky to be alive though, I was in rehab in Thailand last year and several people died in their relapses out here - including a 21 year old who relapsed and crashed his scooter.

Several more have died since. Anyway, here’s to 3 months alcohol free!

Anyway, here’s to 3 monthS.

I’ve made it this far before but never with the intention to quit for good. I’m so proud of myself and so excited to continue my journey. I won’t lie, it’s been really rough emotionally, i’ve been going through a lot, some drinking related, some not, but i know it will get better. I started going to meetings frequently over the past week and got a sponsor and a big book :) This has been a bit of a lonely road for me, but I know that the community is there, I just need to take some time to get used to it. I will give myself a hug for now.

Also, as someone who unfortunately loves instant gratification, i thought i’d share some changes. not gonna sugar coat it though, just for the sake of people not feeling alone.

-Super irritable (i think this may be stress related as I recently got an insane schedule of two jobs and full time school) (I am also a slightly angry person by nature and would drink and use to mask it)
- My skin is looking so good, i didn’t even realize until the compliments started coming in
- Lost some weight, only like 3 pounds on the scale but my clothes are a lot looser and my tummy is much flatter than times i’ve lost weight previously
- Weekends don’t really matter much to me anymore
- isolating from a lot of friends tbh. I’m realizing i don’t have much to say to them without drugs or alc.
- got a lot closer with some friends that i hadn’t been close with while in active addiction.
- i feel a lot less guilty about eating, i know i know
- sleeping has actually been kinda rough without weed, ive always been a bad sleeper though
- i dont feel as much impending doom before bed
- starting to like myself more, like the inner me
- less stress about time, I am no longer accounting for the hours I am useless bc i’m drunk or high, if i need to write an email before bed or finish a reading, i just can which is really cool

“how great it is that we are like this?
We are edgy, we are dark we are alcoholics.
We had no direction and in the past we caused more harm and destruction than good. However now we have been blessed enough to be given the tools to have a bigger impact in the world than most .We still have the will and the motor of an alcoholic but now we are healing and now we can do good.”
Such powerful words.
God bless everyone and Mr brolin
Onto day 40 tomorrow let’s fucking go.

I keep hearing people talk about how sobriety takes work, how you have to put the work in. But something feels different for me this time. For the first time, I’m focusing on the long-term rather than the short-term, and it doesn’t feel like work.

I think I’ve spent years focusing on what drinking could give me in the moment, without really weighing it against what came afterwards. The immediate pleasure always seemed to get more attention than the consequences, it was automatic.

Now I’m looking at the whole picture when I get the ‘what if’ scenarios. A few hours of ‘pleasure’ (using the words that are associated with it even if not strictly true) versus everything that comes with and after it, and everything I stand to lose the next day and beyond. When I look at it that way, it’s just not a good deal.

I’m not constantly fighting myself or feeling deprived. I’m choosing what’s better for me in the long run over something that might feel good for a few hours, THIS feels like a really important shift. I’m not just ‘trying not to drink’; I’m changing how I see drinking in the first place and that’s kinda changed everything.

It’s almost stating the obvious I know, and I’ve heard about play the tape forward etc, but I’m connecting it to really feeling it, literally projecting how I feel and what I would be giving up and it’s not worth it.

Hey. I just wanted to share that today I am officially sober for one year. I honestly NEVER thought I could do it. You all are a big reason I'm here today. Thank you.

I'll share my favorite prayer, like I do every post. I hope you enjoy, even if you aren't religious.

Peace Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

Today is 90 days sober for me. It’s been years since I’ve had a stretch this long, and I’m really proud to have gotten this far. I have had approx 7 million day ones, and months and months at a time where I could never get past day 3. But it’s finally starting to stick.

I have lost about 10 lb and a pant size, my face actually is starting to have a defined shape again, I’m not red all the time, I’m no longer sweating excessively, and my sleep is pretty good. I have a voracious sweet tooth that I’ll need to reign in (after Halloween) but that’s a vice I can handle, that doesn’t involve tremendous shame. I’m able to show up at work and for my kid in a much better way than I could when drinking.

If you’re here and feeling stuck because you keep ending up back at day 1, be gentle with yourself and keep trying. Someone else here said “never quit quitting” and that mentality has helped me a lot.

I’m excited to hit triple digits in 10 days and really glad to be past several recent work events with open bars (made it sober but it was tempting, thank goodness for NA options). IWNDWYT, fellow sobernauts!

No matter what I need to keep going. I got this I will not drink tonight.

I last posted here 4 months ago from the hospital, being two days sober. I stayed there for over a month and after I got out, things were looking up for me. I was getting help, I was taking antabuse, I had a new social worker.

Then I found out I was going to lose my apartment. For a while things were okay, I was freaking out by applying for apartments and staying sober. But after countless rejections and the threat of homelesness growing nearer, I relapsed. For the past five weeks, I drank every single day.

On monday I decided to kill myself. I was done with drinking and too scared of the future. Half way up the ladder to the top of my apartment building, luckily, my fear of heights kicked in and I climbed back down and took the bus to the hospital.

I wasn't hospitalised this time, but I am getting help via a clinic that gives me my daily meds for withdrawals and my social worker is working on getting me a place in a group home for people in mental health and addiction recovery.

Two days sober now, still scared, but motivated. I can do this. One day at a time.

I (F27) very recently quit drinking. It felt like I was stuck in a horrible black hole that I couldn’t crawl out of. I was drinking so much every day. I told friends about it and it wasn’t until I called my mom having a mental breakdown saying that if I couldn’t get sober I need rehab that I decided to stop. I’ve luckily gone a week so far (I know not long) without alcohol. I’m so so proud of myself.

HOWEVER! When I tell friends about me no longer drinking bc I had a problem, they act like I didn’t. A couple have acted confused or like I’m overreacting when I tell them I stopped. I recently hung out with a friend who kept saying that she supports me but kept acting disappointed that I wouldn’t drink with them. I’ve noticed many people talk to me as if I’m overreacting or being dramatic when I say I struggle with alcohol abuse.

I guess I’m just curious if others experienced this when they stopped drinking? Thanks.

I am a 42 yr old man and I'm on day 3 today. Day 1 or 2 has always been where I relapse near the end of the day for some excuse or another.

Its been really hard and I drank likely 12-15 beers or white claws a day since I was 26....something like 80-90,000 drinks.

I've been able to white knuckle the willpower but then its the leaky gut and shitting yourself that forced me back every time to just stop feeling bad, have my gut slow down & feel normal again for a bit. It's to the point where I order everything online, barely go to the office, afraid to go to public places without a readily available bathroom.

The mornings I usually will chug water and then throw up some yellow bile until I'm clean, its almost a routine like brushing my teeth at this point.

Last drink was Saturday at 8pm, and since then I've basically only drank water, juice, bone broth, and eaten a bit of a breakfast sandwich. zero hunger still. Taking AG1 and 2 scoops of Metamuscil in the morning to keep vitamins in line while I attempt to heal my gut.

There is an event I am supposed to go to today and I'm worried about my gut, eating Loperamide and Simethecone as anti diherreals. Might bail on it, but I have to finish this week this time.

In the last 3 years my Dad died of cancer, many of my Co-Workers have been laid off and its a constant state of unease, my wife and I separated over in-laws issues on her side but then she blamed everything on my drinking and made me a pariah to everyone, so I've lost basically any friends, family, or support network I had. Then we finished bankruptcy, and now the divorce is almost finally done. There were days so bad about a year to two ago where I had to stop myself from stopping on the way home to get a way to off myself, and then drinking so much that I woke up on the floor once.

In a weird way, even though my life has been absolute shit for a while, I think I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and its giving me motivation this week to finally do it. I'm aiming for at least 7 to start, I hear days 3-4 are some of the hardest. Figured posting here will help me at least articulate it a little since I'm not telling anyone in my actual life so I don't fail.

I've had such terrible experiences with poor sleep because of alcohol, that sleep kind of becomes my #1 reason to quit, and my long term health is pushed down to #2.

I am scared of the laundry list of potential long term health consequences. But i am even more scared of going through (yet another) day on little sleep.

I made it 65 days alcohol-free, then decided to drink at an annual celebration with college friends. I convinced myself one day wouldn't hurt because I'd already broken the habit.

Well...

• August: 0 drinks
• September: 6 drinks (all at that celebration)
• October: 63 drinks so far. Sigh.

I'm right back to my old habits of 20-25 drinks a week. I'm a gray-area drinker. Functioning, but frustrated. I attend SMART Recovery meetings, and I know being completely alcohol-free is probably what's best for me.

But... Ya'll... I need help...

I have a few occasions each year when I really look forward to drinking. Thanksgiving is one. An upcoming Disney World vacation is another. It's our first big family vacation since having kids, and my husband and I will even get some kid-free time together!

I keep telling myself I'll quit after Disney because I want to enjoy drinking there. But that thinking is keeping me stuck. Why work toward 200 alcohol-free days if I'm already planning to drink?

I KNOW one or two days of drinking can turn into another 60+ drinks in a month. I've literally just demonstrated that.

Please tell me Disney World is great without alcohol! I would LOVE to hear from people who have done Disney sober, especially EPCOT. What were your favorite nonalcoholic drinks or experiences? Did you still have just as much fun?

I keep putting off quitting because I don't want to miss out on drinking at Disney. But I also don't want to spend the next several months drinking just because I'm looking forward to a few cocktails on vacation.

I think I just need to hear that I can have an amazing Disney vacation without alcohol, and maybe even enjoy it more. Help me get excited about a sober Disney trip instead of feeling like I'm missing out!

I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that. I drank daily since COVID, 2 weeks was the longest I’ve gone without drinking but that was because I was sick with the flu and once I was better I was back to drinking again.

I hated myself everyday, I felt hopeless, I felt like a terrible mother, I really thought I was going to drink myself to death.

I’m feel proud of myself for pushing through regardless of how hard it was, I still think of alcohol but it’s not as intense as it was the first 2 weeks. I also finally got blood work done after holding off for so long, thankfully most of my blood work came back good, minus my ALT test being slightly elevated, nothing crazy.

I feel a lot more emotionally stable and less hopeless. I feel like I have a lot to look forward to. Most importantly I’m a lot more present when it comes to my kids.

IWNDWYT

I've been completely sober for about five months. I've been exercising alongside my sobriety, and for the first three months, I kept feeling better and better. But about a month ago, I started craving alcohol again. Whenever I experience a little stress, I find myself thinking, "Maybe I could drink just for today."

I keep thinking about the idea of having a little party all by myself to celebrate the end of the day. I've managed to resist the temptation so far, but today was especially difficult. I actually walked all the way to the store to buy alcohol, but I somehow managed to turn around and walk away.

Since I quit drinking, my financial situation hasn't improved, and although my depression has eased somewhat, it hasn't completely gone away.

Would it really be okay if I drank just for today?

I’m 30 years old and have been struggling with alcohol for almost 10 years. For most of that time, I’ve been drinking about a bottle of wine at night, especially after work.
I can go 2–3 days without drinking, but then I end up binge drinking again, and the cycle just repeats itself. It’s become such a routine that I almost don’t know what to do with myself after work without alcohol.

From the outside, I’m what people would probably consider a functioning alcoholic. I work full-time, have responsibilities, and seem to have my life together, but behind closed doors, I’m really struggling with my drinking.
I have my annual physical today, and I’m honestly terrified to tell my doctor the truth about how much I drink. Part of me feels embarrassed and ashamed, but another part of me knows I need help because I clearly haven’t been able to break this cycle on my own.

I’m considering asking about medication to help with cravings or other treatment options besides AA. I really want to change my relationship with alcohol and stop depending on it to unwind after work.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and finally opened up to their primary care doctor? How did they respond? Did medication or any alternatives to AA actually help you?
I’m scared to have this conversation, but I’m also tired of living like this. I don’t want to spend another 10 years stuck in the same cycle.

A few weeks after an alcoholic seizure put me in the hospital. Went on a bender that honestly I didn’t even grasp the severity of until I came home today. 2 trash bags full of vodka, 8 percent beers and Wine all over. I couldn’t believe it even though I was living in it. when I thought I was done there was more.

Went to the hospital again. They hated seeing me. Blew a 300 or something. Detoxed there for like 30 hours before getting kicked out. I’m now 50ish hours sober and I still have terrible withdrawal symptoms.

I can’t believe I relapsed that hard after going through such an incident. It feels like I’ll never feel the same. The damage I’ve done is probably astronomical.

There was vodka left and how badly I wanted it to stop this feeling. I’ll tough out to get to baseline where light doesn’t hurt. Start finally taking the naltrexone I have and start hitting meetings.

I feel ashamed, anxious and uncertain.

I’ve hurt my partner, friends and family who only recently saw me seize up and have my life in a tough spot. I want to get better for them but also kind of just want to crawl into a hole and hide.

So, I’m a binge drinker and have been trying to quit drinking for around 2 years. The problem is that I get to later in the week Thursday / Friday and get this uncontrollable rush of excitement to drink. I guess that’s called a craving.

It happens mostly when I’m happy or when something has gone good. Like a good day at work etc. but tbh it’s EVERY week.

I don’t think about alcohol from Sunday to Wednesday. But then it’s kicks in late Wednesday sometimes.

And when I drink it’s mostly a binge of from 5pm to around 2am. It’s not affected anything yet as I’m clever the way I plan it in my dairy and with work.

I do well in work and everything looks good on the outside but this routine of drinking is awful and it’s getting worse.

I’m 45 now and it’s taking days to recover from.

It’s a grey area as I’m not drinking every day and have time between the binges. But I just can’t afford to have my free time dominated with hangovers and feeling like shit.

It’s Wednesday today and last time i drank was on Saturday. Even though i don’t want a drink now I’m terrified of the feeling that will come later today or tomorrow that I can’t control.

Does anyone have the same issue or has overcome something like this?

Thanks

For someone from the Czech Republic, I’ve never really been much of a heavy drinker. Sure, when I was 18–23 and a punk kid in college, the parties were huge, and we’d go out for beer every day. Sometimes I felt sick; I’d have a hangover in the morning that I had to cure with a Pilsner Urquell, and then I wouldn’t drink for maybe three days. But I never blacked out, and I don’t really like hard liquor. I stuck to beer.

Now I’m 32, and I recently realized that I’m addicted. I compose and perform fantasy music as a solo artist; I’m a visual artist who creates linocuts and drawings, for example; and I also write short stories. For some reason, with all these activities, I need to drink to relax. It’s as if I lack self-confidence. When I’m out with friends I know well, I’ll have a beer or two so I won’t be nervous. When I have to speak in front of people at a cultural event for work, I’ll have a beer to give me a boost. I don’t get as drunk as I did in college anymore, except at big events like weddings. One or two beers a day during the week…

This is now the first month I’ve gone without drinking. Not even while working on creative projects or at cultural events with friends. So far, I’m holding up. Sometimes there are moments when I’m irritable and I’d love to have a beer, because I know it would make me feel so much better and give me that reborn feeling again. But no, i dont want to drink anymore. I want to see the world as it is.

Writing down your why daily is a powerful thing...very therapeutic...pardon me while I tell on myself...here goes:

1) I cannot moderate...can't control it

2) I only want more

3) Alcohol removes my basic needs...sleep...money...self respect...my reputation...THE THINGS I NEED TO SURVIVE

4) I have everything to lose and nothing to gain

5) I drink and my life STAGNATES..no progress on any front.

6) I lose time...a week...a month...a year...a decade...WE DONT GET THE TIME BACK

7) This one is tough...once I run out of money...I've been known to shoplift Alcohol from local grocery stores

8) I no longer need "Alcoholic Isolation" 3 day weekends staring at my phone.

9) I quit to have life worth living and a future to look forward to

10) I quit because I'M CLEARLY AN ALCOHOLIC

3 is my biggest #7 took guts! Guys this took courage....please be kind...what's your why?????????

i haven’t gone out to a bar yet since getting sober, but im in my early 20s so i knew i had to face my fears eventually if i wanted any sort of social life. my roommate asked me to join her team for a themed trivia about one of my favorite movies, which was at a pretty big party bar for my community.

super crowded and overwhelming, i could barely hear anyone, didnt really know anyone besides my roommate, and ended up having to sit at the actual bar and watch them pour thousands of drinks for other people. i felt like i was going insane, and was so tempted to just get one, but stuck to my sparkling water and ate a ton of horrible bar food.

it was tough, but i am now home and sober, and my team won first place!! we won a 100 dollar gift card, which now means the groups going back to trivia next week to spend it which means i have to face my fears again, this time being able to get free drinks 🫩. that’s a problem for next week though