Hi everyone! I’m hoping to hear from others with MS who have experienced something similar to my husband, Ray, and to get advice on how I can support him. He turns 35 in two weeks.
About two years ago, Ray developed severe eye pain while working on wildfire relief. He initially thought it was smoke irritation, so he delayed seeking care. After visiting urgent care, an eye doctor, and his primary doctor, he was eventually sent to the ER. MRIs revealed white matter lesions consistent with MS, and he was hospitalized for three days for severe optic neuritis and treated with high-dose steroids.
He’s now on Kesimpta, and thankfully, his MRIs have remained stable with no new or progressing lesions. However, he continues to experience recurring eye/optic nerve pain and brain fog, which have affected his mood and quality of life.
We’ve discussed the pain repeatedly with both his neurologist and ophthalmologist, but we’re told he shouldn’t still be experiencing it because there is no active optic neuritis and his disease is stable. His ophthalmologist has noted optic nerve atrophy, likely related to the delayed treatment, but we still haven’t received much guidance about the ongoing pain or how to manage it. Ray feels that his doctors don’t believe him, and I worry that his symptoms are being dismissed because there’s no visible inflammation.
For those who have experienced optic neuritis or similar symptoms:
Have you had ongoing eye or optic nerve pain despite no active optic neuritis or new MRI activity?
Have you experienced chronic pain, brain fog, or other lingering symptoms despite stable MRIs?
What treatments or types of specialists have helped?
I’d also appreciate advice from partners or anyone who has advocated for themselves with doctors.
I attend some of Ray’s appointments but usually let him speak for himself because I don’t want to overstep. However, he finds it difficult to advocate for himself at times, especially when facing a medical team whose doctors are highly regarded for their top-tier care and knowledge surrounding MS. When he repeatedly reports pain but is told he shouldn’t be experiencing it, I’m unsure when I should step in, request more answers, or seek a second opinion. I feel like we just go round and round with the doctors, and nothing ever changes. Is he just meant to suffer now that he has this disease?😭
How do you balance supporting a loved one while respecting their independence? At what point is it appropriate to push for further evaluation when symptoms are affecting daily life but aren’t being adequately addressed?
I love my husband and hate seeing him deal with this without much help or direction. I want to support him without making him feel powerless or as though he has to accept ongoing pain without answers.
I’d be grateful for your experiences and advice. I know this is a very long post so thank you to everyone who took the time to read it to the end and offered suggestions❤️