I'm a 48 year old white guy, 5’11” 190lbs brown eyes and salt and pepper hair. I’m pretty easygoing, stable, and definitely still young at heart. I'm married, but untortunately the intimacy and connection have been gone for a while, and I really miss having that physical fun. Pineapple
I'm looking to meet a woman who's warm, fun, affectionate, and enjoys a good laugh. I'm a man with a high libido, so physical chemistry is important to me, I'd like to actually enjoy talking, hanging out, getting to know each other, and having something consistent that we both look forward to.
If you're in a similar situation and miss having that kind of connection, I'd love to hear from you.
What is your favorite 80's or 90's comedy.

I have tried serious, funny and everything in between with little luck. So much so I have yet to get a single scammer or bot to respond, only one guy who offered his company while I was on my search (politely declined) and a nice young lady who said she had a menu of service (to which I replied my money is already spoken for)

So if you are a real woman looking for whatever this can be with 46 married guy in the NYC area who knows how to use punctuation, sometimes, this post isn’t for you. If you have put notabot in your post not for you either.

I want to see if I can attract a scammer or 2, maybe a really bad AI chat bot and we can enjoy some delicious grilled pineapple. Maybe I will share the recipe in the comments.

I love my wife and she’s amazing in most areas. I’m beginning to think I may have a nympho problem within me. I can’t be satiated. I could have sex or at minimum do sexual activities 2-3 times a day. I’m lucky if I get vanilla sex that many times in that many months. I love controlling, I love rough, deepthroat, eating, BDSM, lots of different things. Pineapple is my favorite fruit. I love the idea of freeuse as well but she’d never consider that. I’m looking to find a woman (married even better cause they understand) that feels similar and would want an ongoing thing here to help each other work through some of our darker desires with each other that our partner would never be able to satisfy. I want a long term partner not looking for just a sexting buddy or a one time fling or brief encounter. I want to be able to build a connection. I’m a country southern man who’s very tall and built solid.

Maybe you’ve been lurking and wondering if there’s someone you can find excitement with. I am
kind and fun and I would love to have conversation and get to know you. Reach out. Don’t be shy.

I want to discover what makes you you. What are your hopes and dreams? What do you like to do in your spare time? What kinds of desserts do you like? And the big question on everyone’s mind: Pineapple on pizza?

I would love to give you attention and ask you to tell me about your day. I want you to tell me things you don’t tell your husband.

Ideally I would like to exchange photos early on to see if we have attraction because that is important. But I want you for your mind not just your body. This isn’t just about sex in fact I am content for us to take our time building an emotional connection first. I hope to find a pretty woman who wants a deep fun secret relationship.

I might have gone a little hard last night. Drank a bit too much haha. But I had a good time! Now I’m sipping my coffee and just trying to get rid of a headache, and I thought what a better time to meet someone special. Someone that gives me butterflies. That understands that feeling of wanting to feel alive when you check your notifications. That has their pocket partner there for them every day. Day in and day out. That doesn’t want to change situations but enhance it for both.

Just to put it out there in a married guy.

I’ve got tattoos, a shaved head, a clean face, blue eyes. I’m a bigger guy. So if that’s your type let me know

Some of my hobbies: I enjoy watching movies, hiking, riding skateboards, reading, playing magic. I play some video games but I'm not a hardcore gamer or anything like that. I enjoy listening to music and cooking.

Do you think pineapple belongs on pizza?

Just like the titles says, I’m 27 and looking for some new friends to chat with. Don’t get to talk to my wife as much anymore because our lives have gotten so busy pineapple . I’m an open book so if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

I don’t eat pineapple, but also *notabot.

41M in #est doing the daily grind of work and youth sports. Married with 2 younger kids and looking to see a little spark amidst the chaos. Hoping for a woman who can appreciate the attention I give, and feel that warmth when it’s reciprocated. Feel like I’ve vibed with other mom’s but need the discretion of a stranger- I’m sure you feel the same way. I don’t want to change your situation, I only want to enhance it.

I like getting outdoors, on the kayak or by the fire. Workout a few days a week and keep myself in shape, shaved head (just for the look 😉). Have a great sense of humor, very laid back, and love a little ribbing back and forth. Love getting to know people deeper than small talk, come mesh with me! In the Cincinnati OH area if looking local

would love to chat and see where it goes.

​

I've been on and off here for a bit, had some great connections and some crazy ones...like the one whos kink was letting dogs fuck her...or a cop who sent tit pics on duty in uniform. Maybe I attract the crazies, was told that. I'm in the Midwest, Chicago, we don't put pineapple on pizza! Have the accent to prove it! I am in shape from running, I don't drink or do drugs so its kind of my only out. I suppose I can include this? I have all my hair and teeth...great hair...heard its all bald dudes with beards here so ill give you another option. No facial hair or tattoos either! I try to put some effort in my ads but lately this *notabot thing has been a huge pain. I'm into running, can still skateboard at my age, birds...yes birds and being outside as much as possible. Have been visiting National Parks the last 2 years and looking forward to more of that. I listen to punk and metal mostly but my fav album is neither. Send some tunes! If we have talked in the past feel free to reach out again. If we haven't, feel free also!

A strong connection is needed before that first date out of the city where no one will recognize us.

Married with kids, not in a dead bedroom, but missing that spark, everything feels almost orchestrated , like we are going with the flow. I'm looking for a spark, someone who is also searching for something special that can be kept a secret between us. Not looking to change my situation

I'm educated, work a white collar office job, keep a trimmed beard, blue eyes, work out with a goal of being above average in fitness and making sure I still look good naked. I'm outdoorsy with beach trips, hiking, camping trips, kayaking, paddleboarding. I love live music, all types from concerts to the one person band at the local dive bar on the water.

You are 30-50, most likely eastern timezone unless your sleep schedule is messed up. I'm looking to chat more during the work day and then weekends I'm typically free from morning until late at night. I'm looking for a mental and physical attraction so we would need to send pics after a brief get to know each other to see if we are each others types.

Everyone likes a weird conversation starter.

1) Do you believe in ghosts?

2) handcuffs or a collar?

3) If dogs wore pants, how would they wear them? On all four legs half way up their body, covering only the back legs and dog butt, other? Feel free to draw a picture lol

*notabot ~ pineapple

t's not that I think I'm special, or that I'm searching for something niche or taboo. I simply realize I may be trying to thread the needle here. (Suppose a lot of us are)

But, not taking it all too seriously.

I'm seeking to connect with a woman who shares my desire to reintroduce excitement back into our lives. (Online strictly, mind you.) Somebody who's intelligent & playful. Somebody who's comfortable in her own skin. Somebody who wants to indulge her own lustful desires.

Yes, this is sexual. No, it's not strictly sexual. I am interested (and capable!) of engaging in normal, thoughtful conservations. I •do• have non-sexual interests & hobbies. But, I also want to make you cum. Like, very much so.

I don’t have a list of requirements. Yes, looks play a role, but beauty & sexiness exist in a variety of forms. Especially moms... I see, appreciate, and love y'all.

As for me... Almost 50-yr old professional MWM (and dad). Confident that I'm easy on the eyes. Tall, athletic, muscular. Blonde hair has gone gray & called it quits. Bearded but maintained. Tattooed but only visible when shirtless. I've got a penchant for sharing my pictures & videos. Also, pineapple.

I don't want to change our situations, nor will we meet. Not looking for a soulmate. Not here to bash anybody either. No games. No time for ignorance.

We both understand our lives take precedence. Job, kids, partner, friends, house -- stuff pops up. I get that. I'm not high maintenance. While I enjoy being dirty, I also believe in respect. My biggest ask is effort. Consistent low-effort, one-word replies are the worrrrrst. Conversation shouldn't be like pulling teeth.

This is about having fun & enjoying ourselves. Got questions? I'd love to hear them. If you want to add some color and spice back into your life, let's see if we click. 

Happy Saturday! I am 43 m from WA looking for like minded individuals or couples to have longterm chats about their fantasies. I love role plays. I love the idea of also building a longterm online friendships or even an online longterm fwb. Let's have meaningful fun conversations about any and all topics. 420 friendly but if that's not your thing all good. I'm an open book and easy going. Looking forward to chatting! But realize we all have lives outside reddit and if we get busy I will get back to you. If you are wanting to chat please give AGE, SEX, LOCATION AND RELATIONSHIP STATUS. don't just say HEY OR GIVE LOW LEVEL RESPONSES! YOU WILL BE IGNORED! Pineapple

Still \*notabot

Ironically, I’m looking for a sane woman with good ASS(ets) such as good sense of humor, good personality, great energy, and even more impressive conversation skills. Pineapple

Im a Black father, fit(5’10,210ish) dark skin,(quite literally can’t be your WHITE knight ), I am Married, not in ANY WAY miserable with my life. Im no Bill from accounting that assumes after asking you what your favorite color is or your dream vacation that I get to ask you to show me your nipples. Nor am I Jack Mehoff from here who thinks “Hey”is enticing. lastly im not chad from school pick up, who thinks that by regurgitating things he reads in every Lady’s post is somehow attempting to connect… Some Past chats have described me as a 14.6/10 ( on the reddit scale),Hot football dad, Super not ugly, great value Tyrese, “ you dont look like you belong here” and the most impressive brag of all….a catfish!! So, come on down and see you can give me a new nickname !

You= A cutie with a booty, baddie with a fatty, draggin a wagon, you get it maybe you’re the sexy, HWP (no hate to bbw gang😊), you still gets double takes at the gym or Target, loves to laugh, can get lost in conversation about the silliest things or the deepest things. ENJOYS dark humor/sarcasm ( If you are politically correct, this aint for you!)if we vibe, I’m gonna make it my sole mission to make you laugh, daily.

Ps: My app of choice should we connect is (rhymes with fapchat 👻). You’d have to be near impossibly amazing to get me on somewhere else. Tell me your favorite beverage to drink while watching sports!Pixar moms to the front of the line!

I’m married, 6’3” dad bod, tattoos, beard, full head of hair, and my collar is blue. If you like the sound of that then I may just be looking for you.

Been feeling like a roommate with a dead bedroom, no kids, missing that spark and connection and just looking for something more. Not looking to change your situation or mine.

I want to hear all about your day and I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know what funny thing happened at the grocery store or the rude person who cut you off in traffic. I want a best friend, I want that connection.

I like to camp, hike, read, watch tv and movies, paint, eat pineapple lol. I have more hobbies than not because life is short and I’m not trying to miss out on anything. that includes you!

Message me your favorite book or your biggest pet peeve.

I've spoken to some lovely women but in all honesty I'm more attracted to someone short, goes to the gym or just looks after themselves. Tattoos are not a big deal for me so don't feel because I have so many that you must have loads. We are just here to make each other happy and not to replace our lives completely. The realisation kicks in too when you remember your in competition with guys on here and then you get ghosted! So annoying..

Here we go, I dunno where to start really. Married for quite sometime however the lack of attention, neglect and loneliness is really affecting me a lot. I feel like I'm just being ignored or something is going on which I'm unaware of.

I feel like I'm attractive enough and i do get compliments on how i look, i take pride in myself and my appearance.
Nothing can hear someone wearing a nice outfit and smelling good.

I have quite alot of tattoos.. neck, throat, arms, 1 leg, chest, ribs and full back, id say im covered in that department haha. I love going to the gym and I do enjoy a kickboxing session every week, keeps me on my toes.

Id love to exchange voice notes, pics & hear about how your day is going and just be there in that moment of need or self doubt. P.S I'm a sucker for a great ass ha

I'm always polite and I'm never rude, please be respectful to each other.
Thankyou for reading

Pineapple

Ladies ...

If you're in Florida, or willing to travel...

If you are looking for passion, focused effort, respect and affection...

If you love to kiss, and be kissed, deeply...

If you can't wait to see me...

.... my hands all over you...

If you want a true friend who will love you, listen to you, hold you, support you, respect your boundaries and home life...

If you want to laugh and feel something real...

This married guy... right here...

Say hi!

Respectfully pineapple

J

Married professional man in a dead bedroom who has been missing the passion, desire, and physical touch for way too long. Seeking one very special woman in a similar situation that is ready to take a risk.

You should be 40+, confident, discreet, within a reasonable driving distance from north eastern Iowa and open for a genuine connection.

I’m a 57 married male 6’0”, 210, athletic build, HWP, DDF, non smoker, social drinker and a hopeless romantic. Overall just an above average Midwestern guy looking for a girl next door who might just be a little mischievous 😉.

Honesty is very important for this to work out; not here to play games.

Please include the state you live in your initial response and a little about yourself. Do you like pineapple?

What are you waiting for, DMs open?

Grew up in the purity culture and was told that sex before marriage was wrong and bad. So I waited until marriage and feel like I missed out.

Thinking back through all of my high school years in college years I wish I would have explored and had fun.

Now I've been married for 10 years and only ever been with my wife and feel like I missed out on living a large part of life. Maybe you can relate?

Pineapple

I am a stay at home married dad of two boys and life has become quite bland so I’m wanting to find someone to build a connection with. I’m in a dead bedroom situation after having the second kid. I would like to have someone to talk to and spend time with, I would like to know about your day, listen to your story and share mine, getting to know someone and build a connection.

A little bit about me: I like watching shows, listening to music and playing games, reading manga. When I have free time, I like to take my dogs for a walk.

Hope to hear from you soon pineapple :)

Alright so hear me out. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is basically a floating landfill the size of Texas made of plastic that’ll be out there for a few hundred years. Instead of just scooping it and burying it somewhere else, we melt/process the stuff and rotomold it into big hexagonal pontoons. Link them together, drop them in the gyre, and you get a modular floating island that actually stays put and starts growing seagrass, coral, kelp, the works. First one gets George Carlin’s name on it because he’d appreciate the joke.
The whole thing is built so the hexes can be replaced when they wear out instead of turning into more trash. Carbon-black HDPE so the sun doesn’t eat them. Wave-proof honeycomb inside. Real habitat, not a photo-op.
And yeah, once you’ve got a stable platform out there in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors and no rules except the ones you bring, it becomes a private sexy sanctuary. Bring the toys, the drinks, the privacy, the people you actually want out there. Somewhere in the middle of all that we’re planting a pineapple. Because why the fuck not. You in or you just gonna keep talking about it?

Ever wish you had someone to flirt with, talk to late at night, and smile at your phone over a random notification?

After 16+ years of marriage, I miss the chemistry, playful teasing and feeling of someone genuinely wanting to hear from me. I’m looking for a real connection, not endless small talk.

I’m 44, child-free, 5’11”, shaved head, ginger-and-gray beard, hazel eyes, tattoos, sarcastic, a little profane and sweet when it counts.

Looking for a woman who loves witty banter, flirting and conversations that just flow. Online to start, with meeting possible if the chemistry is right. Pics early are a plus.

What are you missing most in a connection right now? ❤

pineapple

I'm lonely, bored, available and have the time to form a real connection. Go ahead and double or triple text me (I like that). I’m a married pineapple (dad) who’s realized I’m missing something—real connection, good conversation, and that spark that makes seeing your phone light up exciting.

I’m looking for a funny, thoughtful woman who can hold a conversation and enjoys talking about everything from your day and random thoughts to big ideas and dumb jokes. I’m looking for something genuine and deeper than surface-level chatting, but I’m not looking to change my situation.

I’m a bigger guy working on myself, bald with a beard and a few tattoos. I’m especially attracted to plus size/bbw women. Sexually open is a plus. No big preference for age, however local or EST/CST is preferred.

I’m looking for consistency—one message every few hours won’t cut it. If we click, I’d like calls, video chats, and voice notes. Be open to swapping pics sooner than later because mutual attraction matters.

If you’re looking for something genuine, fun, and a little exciting, say hey!

…of a smoothie? Ha! I couldn't resist. 😂

Apparently, pineapple is the magic word around here now, and I figured if I was going to use it, I might as well have a little fun with it. If that headline made you raise an eyebrow, laugh, or briefly question what kind of subreddit you've wandered into, we might get along just fine.

I'm 50, married, 6'0", with a trimmed beard, a deep voice, and a sense of humor that occasionally gets me into trouble. I'm confident, outgoing, affectionate, and just mischievous enough to keep things interesting.

I'm looking for that connection that makes an otherwise ordinary day feel a little less ordinary. The kind where conversations flow effortlessly, flirting happens naturally, and you find yourself smiling at your phone when you probably should be paying attention to something else.

I miss the anticipation. The teasing. The playful back-and-forth that starts innocently enough, then leaves us both wondering who’s going to be brave enough to turn up the heat first. A little innuendo, a well-timed “what would you do if I were there?” and that delicious feeling of knowing the curiosity is mutual.

I have a full life, plenty of responsibilities, and no desire to complicate yours. But I absolutely believe there's room for laughter, excitement, affection, and a little delicious distraction. I'm not looking for someone to entertain me when she's bored. I'm looking for someone who actually wants to make time for each other—and enjoys keeping a little secret smile between messages.

I enjoy traveling, boating, cooking, great conversation, and people who don't take themselves too seriously. Intelligence is sexy, humor is essential, and chemistry? Well, that's the fun part we get to discover—preferably with plenty of teasing along the way.

So if you're married, missing a little spark, and still believe that butterflies aren't reserved for people in their twenties, I'd love to hear from you. Bonus points if you can flirt without taking yourself too seriously and leave me wondering whether your innocent comment was actually innocent at all.

And since we've already established that I have a questionable sense of humor, tell me something…

Did you click because you were curious about the pineapple, or because you already knew exactly where my mind was going? 😈🍍

Been a while since I’ve been on here. But I figured I’d try again. Disney dad who’d like to have someone to chat with. Share stories. See where it goes. Pineapple. Devoted father. If you’d like to chat, let me know.

Does anyone else low key wish they had something mischievous planned for the weekend? Something we’d have to lie about, maybe something mildly scandalous?? So far my bad behavior has been contained here, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in some in person foolery!
That said, I do love to chat. I love to connect, have a look into someone’s world, or imagine a different one. Would you like some distraction, too?

About me: always the hardest part. People see me as nice, earnest, funny, maybe aloof…I’m a blue collar kinda worker but also a musician and a teacher. I strive to embody the values of the gentleman farmer archetypes of yore. Rural but not backwards, basically.
No kids, but I work with em and am a happy uncle. I’m sort of outdoorsy, sort of resourceful and full of diy stubbornness. That car is NOT dead, it just needs a power steering line and front brakes and seay bar links and some exhaust work and I’ll be finished up with it by Christmas.
Physically I’m tall, thin, long blonde hair, no beard, glasses…was recently described as an outdoorsy nerd.
So, how ‘bout you? Do you ramble? Daydream? Procrastinate? You’re perfect:)
pineapple

I’m seeking an open minded partner to grow, chat and explore with. Something to look forward to outside of our normal day-to-day, that’s equal part wholesome, naughty and spicy. Married but neglected.

I can be whoever you want me to be to satisfy your needs and high preference for someone open minded or few limits.

Miss the getting to know each other or new love interest phase? That’s what I’m craving. Together, let’s be each others space to fill any void you’re not getting at home. Share your fantasies, desires, issues.

About me (SFW): Genuine, kind, non- judgmental. Enjoy sports. A big teddy bear at heart.

About me (NSFW): My main kinks are a genuine desire about anything the female body experiences which men don’t, so lactation and menstruation are huge turn ons.

Other kinks include - Facesitting, period play, tampons/pads, DD/lg, ANR, femdom, ladies bathroom general, pegging, rimming, incontinence.

Limits: Vomit, Scat

Send me a DM if interested in introducing yourself, what youre looking for and any age as long as 18+.

pineapple