Do you prefer meeting people through mutual friends, online communities or randomly in real life? Curious to know what actually works for you.

Hey people, so has anyone ever asked themselves how they ended up with the life they have today? Because sometimes when I realize how lonely I am, I just lay in my bed thinking about what I did wrong to end up like this, and with this life specifically.

Now when I say “end up like this with this life” I mean a very boring and lonely life, talking to no one, not going out due to not having friends etc… I don’t know how to change any of that, I’ve tried going to therapy which didn’t quite help lol it was more a wast of money than anything.

I just want to feel less lonely and see if anyone out there feels the same as me, for a bit of comfort I suppose… Sad to say that I’m writing on Reddit because I can’t open myself to anyone since I have nobody that would listen/understand me, it’s feels kinda weird and depressing but yeah at least writing all this made me fell a little bit better than before.

Thanks for reading guys

I’ve always had extreme anxiety and especially socially my whole life, but now that I have moved out, I’m 18 years old and I am fed up with being so insecure and self-conscious. I wanna get to the point where I have no social anxiety and I can just make a friend because I want to, not striking conversation because I have a reason or need to talk to someone, like I want to find a workout partner up here but for some reason, I just can’t get myself to talking to anyone in the gym. I just seclude myself and leave… every day.

Hey everyone!
I’m an introvert myself, and I strongly believe that introversion isn’t something that needs fixing. But I also think that being comfortable with who we are doesn’t mean we can’t sometimes wish it were easier to connect with new people.
I’m a software engineer, and I’ve been working on a little project called TryTheTalk. It lets you learn some basics and then practice everyday social situations through voice conversations with AI characters and gives you feedback afterward. The idea is to build confidence through practice, without having to pretend to be an extrovert.
It’s free to use for now! There are some usage limits to keep my AI costs manageable, but I’m happy to increase them for anyone who wants to explore it further.
https://trythetalk.com
I’d genuinely love to hear what you think. Does something like this seem useful to you? And if you try it, what works and what doesn’t?
Thanks for reading!

Hey yall.

Little bit ab me so its easier to understand why im feeling this way. I grew up in another country and moved to the states when i was a senior in highschool.

I used to make friends really easily back in high school. I would just go, start yapping about random stuff, they would vibe too and we r just frnds then. It was easy. But it feels so overwhelming now, i feel like i make the vibe weird or say something off putting that might make them feel like it was targeted towards them. This is happening too much and i dont like it. I miss the time when people used to tell me how much of a sunshine i was and how safe they felt around me. Now i just feel like a mean bitch and others probably think im a attention seeker.

I also might have a staring problem lol. But most of the time its cause i dont get what the person is saying cause english is my second language or i have zoned out or idk how to reply. AND IT COMES AS OFFENSIVE. I JUST WANNA BE THE SWEET GIRL AGAIN

I grew from the the different country and had to migrated. I was a high-schooler in my country but i need to learn at intensive english school to go to high school in this country . But i have a biggest problem is i cannot make friends with people from the same country as me . I mean i used to not have many friend in my old place but at least i have a few friends to yap (actually 4) . I feel like im not connected with them , like they and me were different. I have been ignoring for a lot of time . I know i dont have any social skill but if i have one , it would be better for a guy who living in the different country

Pls help me

So this happened like two months ago, i was going on a plane and there was a flight attendant standing at the front as usual but for me since I’m so awkward and have bdd and don’t like looking directly at the person at the front cause idk what to say or do, i usually just don’t look at them and just continue walking to my seat but this time is the first time where the flight attendant outwardly showed me disrespect and attitude because im guessing she felt wronged by me not looking at her at the start of the flight when I was walking into the plane? So after the plane landed, i was walking all the way to the front to leave and she’s there again and this time i wanted to make sure to acknowledge the flight attendant which i usually try to do at the end to not be rude i guess lol im genuinely not sure what im supposed to say or do to the person at the front. but she made sure that when it was me she made sure to turn her head all the way to the right to ignore me and not even give me any grace or acknowledgement at all and I felt mad and disrespected in the moment cause that was the first time any flight attendant has ever acted that way towards me, just very catty and like bitchy and immature, which i felt was very unprofessional and till now i still remember how nasty that was to stand at the front and act this way towards a passenger like imagine leaving and getting treated with this type of energy? when stuff like that happens to me it makes me wish i recorded them so i can show how unprofessional they are at their job and hope they get fired lol i just don’t think the person working at the front should be able to get away with this type of attitude if that’s the job they chose, then be professional or bring some good energy lmao. honestly why do they even have those people at the front for? I feel so awkward everytime lol. sorry this was more of a vent of dealing with nasty attitudes from other people just from being introverted, socially awkward and being misunderstood. Does anyone also have this problem?

Last weekend I had nothing planned for the first time since June, and I kept checking my calendar because I was sure I was forgetting something. The only emails I got were early Black Friday ones, and it is not even Halloween yet.

Since June it has been two weddings, helping a friend move, work drinks and a birthday dinner almost every weekend. I am not complaining, I liked most of it. But a couple of years ago I said no to a lot of stuff and people kind of stopped inviting me. I found out about one friend’s birthday dinner from the photos. So I have been saying yes to everything since.

Saturday I slept in and made eggs, then went for a walk with no plan. I forgot my laundry in the washer for like four hours and had to wash it again. I was waiting all day to feel guilty and it never came, which is new for me. I put an old album on the little Astrotoo speaker on my desk while i folded, and kept zoning out watching the screen move to it. Cereal for dinner. It was a good day, maybe the best one I have had in a while..

My friend texted around eight asking if I wanted to get drinks and I said no, I was staying in. She sent back “you good?” and I know she was checking on me but I still felt bad for a few minutes after, I guess because of the birthday thing. Is it dumb that I still worry if I say no once they will stop asking? I said yeah I was good and watched a movie.

Sunday was more or less the same. I think I am going to ask her to get dinner, only the two of us.

Being around people just drains the life force out of me so bad. I have such a tiny minuscule social battery even by introvert standards and it’s really hurting my ability to connect with others or find a girlfriend. As a guy the only way I’ve ever made friends as an adult is through work and even then they don’t last very long and I’m just so lost. I feel like I can’t get really situated anywhere socially and it makes it impossible to date when I seem like a loser with no friends

Recently, I've started to assume everyone around me is an NPC and it has honestly made me feel better when I'm alone in a public place. I feel less socially anxious that way because anything that I speak or do when people are around, it hardly matters what reactions or the stares I get from them because they are just bots. It's like you are CJ in this GTA San Andreas life and you couldn't care less about the clothes you wear or the murmur you hear around when people walk past you because they are just bots. Not just social anxiety, anything in life revolving around people becomes pointless when you realize that everyone is just NPCs deployed by gods. Someone you know personally earns more than you and is doing well in life? Would you really care if Sweet lives a better life than you while you are financially doing okay and happy the way you are? Wouldn't you think "meh, he's just an npc friend, I'm okay"?

This kinda boils down to the "nothing in life matters" saying. I hope you get what I'm trying to mean.

I’m going to a house party my friend is hosting.I hate house parties but want to support them/be there for them.

In the past, I’ve just tried sticking by whatever friend invited me, which most people get really annoyed by so I’m requesting help on how to avoid doing that and branch out😭 I struggle to jump into convos with strangers, if I’m not with a friend I usually end up leaving, which won’t be an option for this one since it’s out of town and I’m staying at their house, they seem really excited I’m attending.

If anyone has any tips for conversation starters or approaches for this, please send them my way!

I'm a 2nd year college student, and l've been seriously considering switching my major to accounting. Being an introvert, the idea of having a desk job where I can sit down, focus on my work, and have a consistent routine sounds like absolute heaven to me.

Job security is also really important, which is why l would want to get my CPA license. I'm interested in eventually working in government, possibly in tax.

For those in this field, what does your day to day life look like? Is it suitable for introverts, are you happy with your career, and how is the pay and work life balance?

My two biggest concerns right now is again, being an introvert and not being particularly good at math.

Though if I do decide to pursue accounting, I'm going into it with my best foot forward. I'm prepared to work hard, put in the time, and do whatever it takes to succeed. I know it won't be easy, but I'm willing to give it my all. That being said, I'm curious whether accounting is a realistic career path for someone like me so if anyone could provide any advice as well that would be great.

this is needed for me

I really want to improve my habit of reading but I don’t know where to start. Usually I don’t have a lot of time to do anything but I’ve been wanting to pick a book in my free time instead of doom scrolling for hours. If you have any book recommendations it’ll be great!

Hey everyone. I am deeply tired of this cycle and need to see if anyone else goes through this.
At first, when people meet me, everything is fine. They say I'm nice, or cute, or sweet. But after a really short period of time, it feels like people just give up on me. Because I am shy, quiet, and awkward, I don't open up immediately.

Instead of just letting me be me, people eventually get bored, stop trying, or turn mean and decide I'm "weird" and boring.

I never hurt anyone, I mind my business, and I try my best to be empathetic and kind. But it feels like if you don't match someone's exact social energy fast enough, they just throw you away. It makes me feel like I have an expiration date with every person I meet.

Does anyone else deal with people giving up on you just because you're shy? How do you cope with feeling like no one likes you or no one cares enough to keep you around

Growing up and through school or social settings, I was always a hyper-observant person. Whenever I hit a wall, got stuck, or didn't understand something, my go-to response was simple: hide. I’d just lay low, take the loss, or self-deprecate with a quick "I just suck at this" so nobody would look too closely. I could always run away or drop out of the conversation to stay in my comfort zone.

Then I entered the workforce as a junior software engineer.

I didn't code in school, so I'm already drinking from a firehose trying to learn a complex system from scratch. But I quickly realized at work, you can't hide. You are forced to expose what you don't know and go all out to ask questions—and my hyper-observant brain is making it a nightmare:

I pick up on every detail: I can hear every micro-sigh, heavy breath, or shift in tone when a senior dev gets slightly frustrated or interrupted.

Brain overload: The moment I sense that tension, my brain flags asking for help as a threat. The internal noise starts blaring: "They're pissed. You're stupid. Figure it out yourself."

The trap: I force myself to sit there staring at the same issue for hours, burning out, and feeling like an idiot—only to still have to ask anyway because I'm completely blocked.

At school, hiding was easy. At work, hiding destroys you, but exposing yourself feels terrifying.

For anyone else who is naturally observant and overthinks every interaction—how do you shut off that noise? How do you stop letting other people's micro-expressions or bad moods block you from asking what you need to ask?

Why they think like that?

You can tell someone you don't drive, don't drink, don't go on holidays, or spend most of your time at home and they probably won't think much of it. But say you have no friends and you can almost see their whole reaction change.

I don't have any friends, and I don't want any. I'm not even joking when I say telling that to the average person can get you this weird look of shock, awkwardness or even a kind of icky reaction. If you don't mention it, they might just assume you have friends, but an assumption isn't a fact.

I don't know what it is psychologically, but those few words seem to hit completely differently. Having no friends is treated like there's something inherently wrong with you, even when you're perfectly comfortable with it. You can live differently in almost every other way and people accept it, but apparently choosing not to have friends is where people suddenly get uncomfortable.

Those of us who are quiet homebody types - what activities do you spend your time doing at home? Does anyone like decorating their space and what kind of aesthetics do you like? I’m trying to find some ideas for myself 😊 Also just curious about how similar and different we can be.

Has anyone else ever felt hesitant to post on Reddit after getting to know someone here?

One of the reasons I love Reddit is because it’s anonymous, so I can freely express myself without worrying about who’s reading. But once I start having decent conversations with people here, I become conscious of what I post. I start thinking, what if they see this, connect the dots, figure out things about me, or judge me differently?It’s weird because they’re just casual friends, and I’m not looking to build any relationships here, yet I still find myself filtering what I post.
FYI- I am so careful abt my details here with anyone chat here so am still anonymous .

I think this goes beyond Reddit, though. I’ve been like this since childhood. I’m constantly conscious of how I act, what I say, and how people perceive me. It’s almost like I’m performing to avoid embarrassment or judgment. I’m not very social or confident, and new social situations make my mind chaotic. I feel more comfortable in groups of three or more because I can just listen, but when it’s one-on-one with someone I’m not close to, I either go completely quiet or end up oversharing and trying too hard to keep the conversation going.

I hate how I can’t seem to relax and be myself around people without overthinking everything.