I do not relate to anyone who’s recovered at all. My symptoms are not the same, which leads me to believe I’m in the very severe chronic category where most people never recover. I do not feel or experience anything. in a void of nothing. Yet still afraid of life and feelings.

i have gotten worse each year. When this started in 2022 it was like I had lost my mind completely. Total panic. Agoraphobia. 2023 I did a lot of exposure and the panic stopped, but the numbness deepened. 2024 I got most of my life back. But a total numb zombie. 2025 I achieved the height of my career and continued to push my boundaries. 2026 is almost over and it’s the most numb, lost, dead. Zombie like I’ve ever felt. Nothing brings me any pleasure. I do not feel anxious at all. I do not feel anger, sadness, jealousy, grief. Nothing. But since day 1 I’ve had non stop dreams that are like I’ve lost my mind or am stuck in a hallucination. I have 0 quality of life, I work, I sleep 12 hours, and I lay on the sofa. im not afraid or anxious of leaving the house. I do every single day. But I have no desire for anything. Its all done out of habit like I’m a robot.

my inner self is completely gone. No memory. No feeling. No identity. I’ve lost my inner monologue. My feelings for music, food. Sex. Anything that matters in life. I have music in my head 24/7 on loops and nothing else. No ability to talk to myself or have complex thought. I don’t date, I dont connect with others, I don’t feel, not even anxiety. Most recovery stories are not from people in a state like me, I don’t even see anyone else in this same state. Despite all this, I function at a high level, run my own business and have a lot of people around me, but I’m a ghost, a shell, a hologram.

every day I ask myself what’s the point in living like this. I used to travel and loved life, I wanted to be busy and doing things I loved. I don’t want to die, but I can’t live like this anymore. This is not life, it’s not existing. It’s being a ghost of a person with no hope of ever being normal again. At what point do you end the suffering. Because there is no exit or hope for my life to come back. I’ve given up a long time ago.

I am a 20-year-old male and underweight (I have always been underweight). For the past four months, I have been experiencing a constant feeling of unreality. It feels as though I am drunk, high, or half-asleep, as if I am operating on autopilot and everything around me feels somehow unreal. I have looked up information online, and my symptoms seem to resemble derealization.

I also suffer from fatigue, even when I sleep well. The fatigue does not seem to depend on whether I engage in physical activities during the day or not. However, over the past few weeks, I have started sleeping poorly and waking up early in the morning. I do not snore at all. I have seen a general practitioner and a neurologist about these symptoms, but they have not been able to determine the cause.

I also experience headaches, a feeling of pressure in my head, and neck pain. I have tried muscle relaxants, massage, and acupuncture for the neck pain, but none of them have helped. At the beginning of the symptoms, I sometimes also felt as though I was about to faint while walking, but this symptom has since disappeared. I have also noticed a single eye floater in my right eye. I mentioned it during an eye examination, and I was told that there were no apparent problems with my eye.

What could be causing these symptoms? They do not occur in distinct episodes; instead, they are more or less constantly present. The headaches are not particularly severe and resemble tension-type headaches more than anything else.

Things i have done/tried or checked in hospital
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- triptanes
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- thyroid function normal
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- vitamin b12, b9 and D vitamin ok
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- ferritin 34 and has been moving 26-40.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- calcium, potassium, natrium, chloride, sodium and magnesium ok
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- blood pressure is ok and i checked blood sugar at home and it was ok
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- brain mri ok
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- borrelia test (lyme disease) ok
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- My cortisol level was tested and was normal as well. I also have Crohn’s disease, which is currently in remission.

My neurologist prescribed escitalopram as a trial treatment. I took it for two and a half months, but it did not help.

I have no history of trauma and do not experience panic symptoms. I generally do not feel particularly stressed, apart from the worry caused by these symptoms themselves.

My symptoms began during the final days of a new job at an auto repair shop, where I was moving and lifting car tires. I am unsure whether this could be related to my symptoms, as I had not experienced any other symptoms before those final working days. I have not worked at all during these four months.

What could be the underlying cause of these symptoms?

The healthcare professionals I have consulted about these symptoms, or during visits for other symptoms or examinations when I also asked about them, include:

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- General practitioner
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Neurologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- ENT specialist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Ophthalmologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Dentist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Gastroenterologist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Massage therapist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Physiotherapist
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\- Acupuncturist

For several years now I suffer from symptoms I thought were depersonalization. However I am not sure anymore. I think this might be something else.

I have the following symptoms, that NEVER lift:

• I don‘t feel my personality anymore. Like it‘s completely gone.
• I am almost completely disconnected from my emotions, also a little bit from body sensations like hunger
• Blank mind: no inner monologue, no pictures, no imagination
• a ton of strange physical sensations that do not even have a Name for. The worst one is a physical Sensation that feels like electricity.
• Sometimes it feels Like I have different personalities (I know I don‘t have) or like I am different person

But I don‘t have other classical dp symptoms:
• I don‘t feel Like I am out of my body
•I AM NOT AFRAID of my symptoms. They just depress me
• I don‘t have existantial thoughts
• I am not afraid to become crazy

Is this really DP or some insane Brain Fog? Did anyone experienced something similar and found a Solution?

I see everything to much colorfull and my eyes pullpils are always spreading and shi,, i need someone who have vision issues from this

It’s a very strage situation. After I stopped taking it 4–5 years ago, other problems started; now, 10 mg doesn’t have any effect at all. What’s odd is that previously, when I was increasing the dose—right during the titration phase—all my symptoms completely disappeared; yet, once I settled on the 10 mg dose, everything came back.

For those of you who didn't find relief with Lexaproat 10 mg, but experienced significant improvement after increasing the dose—what happened next? Did 15 mg help? How long did you continue with it, and what ultimately proved effective for you?

For years, I have been struggling with a condition that prevents me from living a normal life. I experience severe mental and physical exhaustion, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, constant internal tension, anxiety, irritability, increased sensitivity to noise, and strange physical sensations. Often, I find myself in a state where I lack the energy to do anything; I feel a profound lack of motivation, and even routine tasks require a great deal of effort.

What puzzles me most is that I once had a very strong positive response to Citoles (escitalopram), yet I still do not understand why that happened or why the same result could not be replicated.

I have tried 10 m of Citoles on three separate occasions. During one of these attempts—specifically while increasing the dosage—my condition improved dramatically; for a period of time, my symptoms disappeared almost entirely. Overall, during that course of treatment, I felt significantly better for about three months, but then the problems returned. In my other attempts, I was unable to achieve the same outcome. For me, a 10 mg dose was essentially ineffective. The main question now concerns a 15 mg dose of escitalopram. I am interested to hear from those with similar experiences: what kind of results did you actually see on 15 mg, how long did it take for them to appear, and how long did the improvement last? Could a strong response to the medication in the past—even if the effect later faded—be a significant indicator when considering an increase in dosage? I don’t want to rely solely on the fact that it worked once; I want to understand how similar situations have played out for others and what ultimately proved effective.

Another issue is that I have reached a dead end with my doctor, and I no longer know which direction to take. We have tried or considered many different medications, but we haven't achieved any stable results. It seems my doctor is also unsure what to prescribe next. We try one medication, then another, but I always end up back in the same state. It is incredibly exhausting—years go by, and I still don’t know what is actually wrong with me, nor do I know which treatment path is the right one.

I am not looking for an online diagnosis or advice on changing my dosage on my own. I am interested in real-life experiences—and, in particular, the perspectives of psychiatrists—regarding cases where escitalopram had a strong initial effect, but that result was not sustained.

For those who did not find relief on 10 mg of Lexapro/Citoles, but experienced significant improvement after increasing the dose—what happened next? Did 15 mg help? How long did you continue with it, and what ultimately proved effective for you?

Im literally getting worse daily. I can’t talk to my parents anymore at all. They do not understand or care to really understand, they don’t want to know. It’s deeply upsetting when this entire time Ive been trying to ask for their help and I get pushed back, told it’s my health anxiety. Im currently investigating autoimmune and Mcas as possible contributing factors as to why im not getting better. Im doing all of this alone. With the support of you guys which I appreciate so much 🩷 but it’s a mind f-\*\*\* when your own family dont believe what your going through is real. Like it’s really upsetting. They can’t possibly undertand how serious this is. And I have to live under the same roof. I avoid going near them, I wait for them to finish cooking until I use the kitchen. Im actually afraid of them which does not help with my dpdr. I feel so fragile like I’m going to crack at any point physically that I can’t risk any more upset. Also they all tend to stick together. Do things together …and I don’t feel one of them is on my side. My siblings take my parents side. It triggers me because I can’t actually go out of the house and get some air or a break. They can. Somehow all their pain gets blamed on me and im struggling to look after myself let alone worry about their issues. Obviously this leads me to a dark place. I can’t even turn to healthcare system anymore. I just wish for a more compassionate, undertanding and caring support. But I just want them to leave me alone now.

I’ve been dealing with depersonalization/derealization for a long time, and I’m wondering if anyone else experiences this.
Sometimes I struggle so much to speak and express myself fluently. I know what I want to say, but it feels like my brain can’t find the right words or put sentences together the way I want to. Sometimes even speaking feels like it takes way more mental effort than it should.
And honestly, I’m so tired of people thinking I’m stupid or that I’m just an insecure person because I struggle with this. It’s incredibly frustrating because I know it’s not a lack of intelligence. A lot of the time, I know exactly what I want to say — I just can’t express it the way I want to.
Does anyone else with DPDR experience this? Do you feel like it has affected your ability to speak, find words, or communicate with other people?

Cannot feel any excitment for life. I dont care about anything. Even when watching NBA or sports which I were passionate about I dont feel that joy and excitment. I really dont care about anything so my memory also suffer. My life is like a blank plank. I hate this, and cannot do anything. I guess I need think more positive. But im so sad where my life went, cause i cannot feel anything. Even if cute cat, dog, kid tells me that loves me, I would be so I dont care or something. Ahhhhhh

I’ve tapered (3 months) Sertraline after 8 years for panic/anxiety disorder and after 2 months everything came back with a vengeance including DPDR (which at the time I was diagnosed didn’t even know what it was) for about a month now, constant rumination, weird and existential thoughts, racing thoughts, panic attacks and almost constant anxiety that obviously feeds the loop endlessly, I tried going back on sertraline for 4 days (25mg) and felt terrible the entire time (except maybe evenings), psychiatrists are shitty in my country and give quick “assessment” and prescribe pills and tell you to come back in a month, now I’m wondering again should I try and go back on sertraline in order to fix DPDR and underlying anxiety and panic or what? People say stick it out for a couple of weeks, it gets worse before it gets better etc and this only makes me feel worse and hopeless because who can stick it out with even worse DPDR and anxiety for weeks… :(

Im constantly projecting long term into the future. Because Dpdr has made my life go so fast, I have this year I’ll die before getting out. Or I’ll be 50 and still stuck this way. I don’t have panic attacks. But it’s distressing to me. To constantly live in fear, fear of life, of grief, of being trapped. Living in this kind of fear of life and death is not living. On top of being in severe dpdr and the horrible hallucinations in my sleep, I have a hell of an existence

This might help to understand the mechanism at play and maybe help in finding the right medicine by researchers

For the last 7 months I’ve been struggling with DPDR/Brain fog symptoms and everything that falls under that umbrella.

It happened after a virus I had in February out of the blue, I never experienced something like this before.

If someone here is dealing with this viral induced, does that change the way of treatment?

I’ve found that anti-inflammatory supplements or meds for headaches seem to lift it off a bit.

considering the fact that this is was my p0rn app a few years ago i’m not sure who’s to read this. or who’s to say i’m “insane” but i feel crazy. other than those two things let me start by saying i am medicated currently and am in therapy so do with that information as you will.

I feel as if my life is somewhat of a lie, i’m not sure who to share this with considering the fact i am in hs but nevertheless i feel so deeply upset, sad, and disassociated with the real world that i am here currently. To start i would positively express i hate myself to an extent, My life hasn’t felt real since i had some extreme moments back in february where i could not stop feeling unreal or like i was watching someone live my life. I hate it, i never feel real, and the meds ohhhh the meds just make me think less about it rather then really helping. Its notable to say though i somehow for some reason forget about these thoughts when i’m in any sexual situations or having any sexual thoughts.

Set aside the fact that i don’t feel real . I hate myself i really just don’t like my life, my parents aren’t amazing with money whatsoever and don’t plan on moving out of my house that is worth less than my dads truck. I believe most of the trauma i withhold past all of the good memories in my mind, comes from my parents.

On another note, I genuinely am so exhausted mentally and physically and emotionally currently (a lot of “ly’s” i know”) that i cannot focus ever and i always just wish i am no longer here on this planet or i am to go back in time and prevent my birth. I feel as if being a human on this planet is a job, nevertheless i still “work”. I feel as if the earth never needed us,and never will. So what’s the point in living? I feel as if i have no deep emotions for really anybody and I am just incredibly unhappy and with my emotions being so unpredictable i have no clue how that’s to turn out. I sometimes see myself as another person in a way like i mentioned before, or i see someone else’s life being played out, like a movie. I never am really in the moment and when i’m not thinking about the fact that i am not real i don’t understand what i am supposed to do after highschool. I also do not think i could function independently in society after highschool because starting a new schedule for me would be like adding a new holiday to the calendar. It’s unusual. I have nothing else to say, or to type i guess. I’m not entirely sure if this will be flagged so if it does just know, I want help.

Guys wtf I literally don’t sleep or have dreams anymore it feels like I have no consciousness or something someone tell me if they experienced this. I used to dream but it was extremely vivid but that’s how I knew I was sleeping, now I literally don’t even dream/sleep most is the time.

I’ve been experiencing dpdr for about 4 years now. Sometimes it will go away for a very brief time, and sometimes it’s so severe that I swear I can close my eyes and leave my body. During these most severe episodes it feels as though my body is a prison that I’m trapped inside. It’s almost as if I have been apart from my body at some point. Like a memory that is so close to recall but just won’t materialize. My conscious experience of physical reality has been altered to the point that I find myself thinking about myself and my body as separate entities much of the time. I’m trying to accept that this is my new reality and that it is ok, but it is still so uncomfortable and causes me a lot of anxiety. I’m so tired of living like this. I’m just here venting because I don’t know anyone in my life who can understand how this feels. I don’t know if at some point when I went through the few surgeries I had while going through cancer that I may have left my body and just don’t remember. Does anyone else feel this way?

is there anyone else that has smoked THC after being tired of dealing with this shit? i’ve been ongoing 24/7 derealization for about 3 years now, not weed or psychedelic induced, but due to uncontrollable anxiety and stress.

i’m curious to know how anyone felt after trying it again, because i feel like i can’t get any worse than what i already am.

THC panic attack almost 6 mos. ago. I had long covid 2 years and recovered for 1.5-2 years. I had POTS that went into remission. I was working, working out and life was normal. I had mild neuropathy that never went away but I hardly feel it anymore.

So since this panic attack I have not been the same. It started with a terrible panic attack where I thought I was dying. I greened out bad for about 5 days. I had mild DPDR for the first 6 weeks or so and it started improving esp. in the afternoon. I have noticed ever since this happened symptoms get worse when it gets dark. I also had more of an off balance feeling months ago than now. This retriggered pots symptoms where my hr will go up 30 BPM even with meds so my nervous is out of wack. Did lamictal or doing gut gi map and treating bacteria help anyone?

These are my symptoms:

- Started with feeling more spaced out. POTS symptoms were retriggered the next day after but without a lot of fatigue. The slower digestion dysautonomia started about a month after. Started worsening about 6 weeks later.

- Then started increasingly where it was hard to stay present and focus on myself.

- Then more "underwater" feeling, feeling like a glass between me and the world. I increasingly do not feel in reality.

- It feels like I am fading away. Senses are dulled. I can't feel my head or limbs as much. Touch has been duller ever since this happened but hasn't gotten worsen.

- The only time I don't feel anything is when I am sleeping. It starts getting worse around 9 or 10 am and worsens all day.

- Light sensitivity that has increasingly worsened.

- It gets worse right before sundown and when the sun goes down. Symptoms worsen throughout the day. Not as bad from 7-9 am.

- Increasingly feeling like I am blind but can see and faded washed out vision. Slightly blurry vision. This is more in the last week or two. This is scaring me. I've had two eye exams and they found no damage. I was diagnosed with BVD but wasn't given prism.

- BP is always normal, blood oxygen normal, brain MRI 100% normal, bloods normal besides low ferritin (27-40) which I got 2 infusions 4 weeks ago. No impact on symptoms. No pain, no shortness of breath.

- POTS meds seemed like they were helping at first now the don't really help that i can tell besides lowering HR. Benzos help a little but were helping more a month ago.

- I started lexapro 6 weeks ago and it has not helped at all and I cannot tell if it made it worse. I started lamictal 5 days ago and the only thing it has slightly helped with mood, but everything I have read it takes about 4 weeks to tell if it helps with DPDR at 50-100 mg.

Long and short it has been intensifying for a minimum of 3.5 months. No one can explain it. Is this DPDR? Will this ever stop getting worse? I am losing hope fast. It seems my nervous system is totally out of wack and dysregulated esp with my history of long covid but the thc panic attack was the trigger. I am losing hope that this will ever stop getting worse.

hi everyone, this is my first time here and also first time asking for advice so delete if not allowed! in 2023 i smoked weed and “greened out”, felt very disassociated for a couple days then was fine until about two weeks later where it hit me again and hasn’t gone away since. i learnt to live with it, still obviously had hard days, but it got to a point where i wasn’t scared to do things; i was talking with people, leaving my house, working, etc. it’s maybe unrelated but in june i started taking ashwaghanda tablets to help with sleeping, and i noticed some brands made me more “floaty” (aka just a bit more dissociative), so i stopped them and swapped to a different brand because it was really messing with me. then the new brand i started taking randomly made me feel very ‘out of it’ one day so i stopped because it was worse then when i had the original episode in ‘23. that happened on this sunday that just passed and i don’t feel better, nothings changed, it gets worse at night or if i am in a silent room. i feel completely exhausted, i can’t sleep because closing my eyes for too long makes it worse, it’s like im on autopilot but im a robot that has no brain or consciousness or something. weirdly i noticed that when i was able to sleep, in those moments where you slightly wake up to move i feel fine so idk if my mind is just playing tricks on me or what. i will add that ive never really been diagnosed with dp/dr because ive never spoken to anyone about this before, this isn’t me trying to self diagnose i truly just want some advice, idc if i can’t ever feel the normal i felt before everything ever again, i got used to how i felt these last couple years and just wanna go back to that. sorry if this isn’t allowed, or if its triggering in any way, but thankyou for any advice or help anyone has :)

Hi everyone, I have had dp dr for 5 months now from a bad panic attack and overstimulation not sleeping one night i was taking my adhd med at that time. I was on lex 10mg for 3 months. I didn't notice any benefit from dp dr only from the panic attacks but i still had bad intrusive thoughts on it. Going back to school I tried adhd meds again because i stopped them during this time because i felt they had a play in the derealization. They def helped when they are working and take the thoughts mostly away but I made the dumb mistake of stopping the lex one week and this brought back worse anxiety. I think the lex separate from aderall helps. I am slowly working on adding lex at a lower dosage. lex by itself made me numb and makes brain fog worse for me. Has anyone been on a similar combo? I feel like only things that bring me back to some reality are stimulants but they cause anxiety by themselves.

The anxiety symptoms are gone but I feel worse cause I don’t feel like a real person. I would prefer the anxiety and panic over this actually. I’m agoraphobic and even going out isn’t triggering any symptoms cause my brain feels like it’s died like I’m just observing the world like a ghost. I feel really claustrophobic when I look at my hand and feet, like someone trapped in a human body.