Hi everyone, I’ve lived in Australia for about a year now. I grew up in going to international schools and moved countries often growing up. Because of this my accent is exactly the last person I talk to, most times, it is australian.
I am from India, a female, 26, and work in a male dominated field (R&D). I also look racially ambiguous (India is a diverse country) because of which people aren’t able to pinpoint me right away. I have been trying to date here in Brisbane, and I have met really nice and interesting people usually. I tend to get a lot of matches as do most women, and go on dates with guys who are looking for the same things as me.
About a couple times, I have had a few people match me first, initiate conversation, often based on my photos, my prompts, call me pretty etc. We get to talking, and then within the conversation, if it would come to my ethnicity and I tell them I’m from India, either I find myself being unmatched or they stop responding.
Just today, a guy kiwi guy complimented me and greeted me in Maori (I think he assumed I was maori?), and I responded back in Maori appreciating the culture, and he apparently worked in the same field as my dad, which I told to him about , and went on explaining how my dad currently works in India and worked in Singapore and Dubai before this, he casually mentions “Oh why India out of all places? Aren’t wages there way less than Dubai or Singapore”, I told him that my parents are both Indian, which is why he still works there and they get paid pretty well, I found myself unmatched lol.
I’m curious to why there is still prejudice if I’ve “assimilated”, and look good enough to be matched and talked to but sometimes this happens, and it ruins my mood.
Additionally, I lived in the US before this, and this was never my experience, but I’ve dealt with this more than twice here in Australia.
EDIT: Thanks for all of your responses, kind words and inputs. Some FYI:
- All the guys that did this were not white men (at least fully), this has happened thrice, one was a part sri-lankan and Irish australian, the other one was Maori (idk if this is okay for me to say but they did look white passing) ofc and third was a Korean guy. Most white men have been great and respectful.
- I have my ethnicity listed out as “south asian” and the app is Hinge
P.S: Thank you kind people, most of you have given such a constructive input, I truly appreciate everyone’s input. I’m still learning so each comment has been utterly helpful.