People who are doing well in life don’t get in physical fights. If you fight someone to prove you are a man, the vast majority of people in society don’t see you as tough, they see you as trashy and low class. If you grew up around people who fight regularly, I’m sorry but you are surrounded by people with low emotional intelligence. It’s a hard truth to swallow about the male role models in your life.
When meeting a girl, you should look at her as a potential friend, not a potential hookup. If you treat her like a real person upon meeting, a genuine connection can form (and it might even increase your chances of a romance to follow if you end up liking each other!)
Figure out your moral code and stick to it. You need to be able to answer the question What does it mean to you to lead a “good” life? Figure that out and then spend every day making choices that align with your code of ethics.
Lead a curious minded life. Be investigative, be interested, be involved.
I second this because my dad is the sort thay believes violence and threats will solve anything in his life , including dealing with me. After living with his for like 28 years I came to realize that he is someone with very low iq
The woman thing is mainly true but there are some situations where it’s very obvious that friendship is not the goal of both people. I am an overly nice and cautious person and I have probably lost out on like 10 relationships because I was too friendly and not romantic in a “timely” fashion.
winning advice here. i'd say self defense or clearly sticking up for your dignity is a caveat, but maybe that was implied.
++on seeing a potential mate non-sexually. it's tough when you are attracted, but it will clear alot of things up. she's hot but she has no job or long term friendships? remove sex from the equation, and it's obviously gonna be bad. really hard to do that when you are young and full of hormones tho - it's like the lord of the rings, your hormones will whisper rationalizations to you!
Great advice, but sometimes before you reach "doing well" you might live in less fortunate circumstances and depending where you live, sometimes fighting is survival. Yes, 99% when something goes down you just need to GTFO as fast as you can but it is unavoidable at times.
As a well adjusted adult now, I look back at myself and some friends I had years ago and just think "WTF were we doing" and am thankful many times things didn't go further south than it did
I really like that moral code bit. It's hard to respect someone who's overly flexible because it seems like they're a shifty or cowardly person and someone overly rigid comes across as a thoughtless robot instead, but a person who makes their moral code clear yet remains flexible with everything else sounds a lot more pleasant to be around
Gross, you're trying to set up young men to be weak creepy fundamentalists.
People should know how to defend themselves and know how to handle themselves in physical altercations.
You're not ever a woman's friend if you've ever considered her a romantic partner. This is "Nice Guy" behavior, and friendship doesn't get you sex tokens.
Your moral code should evolve as you grow, learn and experience life.
the best way for a guy to handle themselves during a physical altercation is to not engage and either run or call the cops, not trying to beat the other guy up like what you’re implying.
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u/kendricklamartin 11h ago
People who are doing well in life don’t get in physical fights. If you fight someone to prove you are a man, the vast majority of people in society don’t see you as tough, they see you as trashy and low class. If you grew up around people who fight regularly, I’m sorry but you are surrounded by people with low emotional intelligence. It’s a hard truth to swallow about the male role models in your life.
When meeting a girl, you should look at her as a potential friend, not a potential hookup. If you treat her like a real person upon meeting, a genuine connection can form (and it might even increase your chances of a romance to follow if you end up liking each other!)
Figure out your moral code and stick to it. You need to be able to answer the question What does it mean to you to lead a “good” life? Figure that out and then spend every day making choices that align with your code of ethics.
Lead a curious minded life. Be investigative, be interested, be involved.