I would change this to be polite" instead of *nice. Being nice means not telling someone to fuck off. Being polite means you just use better words and a calm demeanor to say the same thing.
Politeness will get you far, being an asshole or a doormat will not.
The way I see it, there's no such thing as being too kind, and I do think it's deeper than just polite language, but what people forget is that it's very easy to be too *generous*, with time, resources, and emotional energy. "Nice" can mean interpreted a few different ways.
Being nice does not imply being a doormat. I can choose kindness toward people who are behaving poorly because I value my own kindness. It doesn't mean I'm going to enable them or sacrifice much of value for them, it means I'm going to continue to build the world I want to live in and not let someone behaving poorly take that away from me.
I don't take their rudeness or disrespect as a reflection of me, it's a reflection of them. I know my value and worth and live up to it by being the person I want regardless of who the other person is or how they're behaving.
You seem to have made bad experiences with people, I am sorry about this.
Being nice is a struggling path, but kindness should never be misinterpreted as a sign of weakness.
“If others disrespect me or give me flak
I’ll stop and think, before I react
Knowing that they’re going through insecure stages
I’ll take the opportunity to exercise patience
I’ll see it as a chance to help the other person
Nip it in the bud before it can worsen”
It’s not about being nice, it’s about wielding compassion and empathy. Within reason, of course.
I recently learned the term "yellow rock". It's a warmer form of "gray rocking" someone where you dont have to treat others coldly but you can still be warm with people while still maintaining boundaries.
Wow. You are amazing 😊. There are two ways to deal with people who disrespected you. But for people to take your advice they should be incredibly kind!
I think you’re misinterpreting kindness as giving the asshole what they want. Kindness is treating the asshole like the child they are. You don’t need to get mad at a five year old. You can just correct them and ask them if they need a nap.
You can scold them. You don’t have to let their anger infect you. You are in control of your feelings. Kindness is not niceness. Kindness is giving the person what they need. Sometimes that’s a wakeup call.
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u/Equivalent-Dig7259 13h ago
Be nice to people, even those that disrespected you. Kindness comes first.