We (33m and 29f) had dated a little over 3 years prior to this exchange.
She did make the first year of the relationship a struggle. Every milestone we hit, every progress we made, she would get cold feet and express wanting to break up. I stuck through it until she eventually trusted me enough. And we dated for the next 2 years without much drama.
Middle of last year, she started to have some health issues. Mostly to do with anemia. Her lack of energy made her avoidant tendencies come back out. She would get pissed for no reason, and say things that hurt me a lot. We were out for dinner one night, celebrating her work promotion. She didnāt like the food much and the restaurant was loud, and she was pissed all through the dinner. Made us leave early, and just threw a fit in the car. I figured sheād be okay the next day, but two days later she told me she wanted to break up. And that was that. This was Nov of 2025.
I went no contact, but she called me a month later crying that she started to feel dizzy while on the metro, and if I could pick her up. I went and got her, dropped her off to an appointment and then drove her home after.
That incident gave us as excuse to re-connect. We started hanging out as if we were dating but without having the talk. She seemed more calm, more comfortable.
But it all came crashing down during another dinner a few months later. We were out at a restaurant, where the service ended up being very slow. She also expressed to me that she was contemplating moving to a city 5 hour flight away because of her perceived lack of work opportunities in our city. And I didnāt have a good reaction to it. So she accused me of limiting her world or doubting her abilities. I apologised and let her know that Iām her biggest supporter, and that I love her and itās my hurt reacting to learning that she might move far away.
The date night was ruined, and I drove her home. And that was that. She messaged me the next day telling me she was sorry about overreacting. I told her I just needed some time to myself, and would be good for us to take a small break from each other.
The above was the last message she sent me, before she blocked me off everywhere. Itās been 9 months since that, and I still miss her. Have put myself out on dating apps, but I sadly keep trying to find her in the people I meet. And itās killing me.