My girlfriend is pregnant about six weeks in and I feel like she hasn't really showed affection towards me whatsoever and it understandable but I try to help her with anything and everything I can I'm in the military but I still do what I can to help her in the best way possible I cook her food I make her meals I make her things for work and I give her back massages I try to keep my peace as much as possible I mean this is new for the both of us I just need something some advice from somebody from anyone who has something that can maybe help out I appreciate it and God bless.

I’m going through a bit of an existential crisis at the moment. I’m 31, have a good degree, great paying and interesting job, GF of 6 years recently turned fiancée, and this year sold our house immigrated to Copenhagen (my fiancée is Danish and I’m Dutch). Got settled now and last month found out we were lucky enough that my fiancée is pregnant.

All things going according to plan (I tend to very much over plan things in my life). This means I am in a place where I should consider myself very lucky and should count my blessings. However, I’m finding myself longing for something else, away from the 9 to 5 and standard rhythms of settled life. I’m afraid my little awakening here is however at the worst time, right after I have just set up this entirely new life with a new job and a baby on the way.

I’m feeling more and more trapped and have this incredible cliche wanderlust. Deep longing for adventure and thrill seeking. I wish I was joking when I say I’m thinking of “I want to see mountains again Gandalf… mountains!” as the best way to describe it. If I could wave a magic wand, we’d travel the world for a year. However this is naturally not something that we can just do. I have really not used the time I had in my 20s to go out and travel. I’ve lived abroad for a few months for an internship, but this was also largely spent behind a desk.

I am so excited to become a father, but I just can’t see how I can still this ever growing stone in my stomach that I’m signing myself into this box of 9 to 5 and ‘civilian’ life.

Looking for some genuine advice and appreciate any view on this kind of late quarter life crisis, whether it is to actually move on this, try and see how to build more adventure in my life, or to stop whining and learn to be happy and appreciate the things we have.

My wife is doing great, and by that I mean managing to keep up and moving despite all the nausea and other symptoms.

I’ve been supporting her all throughout, with massages, comfort food, talking through things and her feelings, doing most if not all the house chores, etc.

She’s getting by, but I don’t like seeing her in such a state.

Anything you’ve done that’s helped, or any pre-moms with advice?

I am so excited and lucky to be becoming a dad. My wife is at 20 weeks but she's having a really hard pregnancy. I feel for her and it really sucks there's not much I can do to make her feel better besides just chores around the house, telling her she's beautiful, and that she's doing a really great job and will be a wonderful mom.

I am doing my best. I make her breakfast and lunch (I'd make dinner if I wasn't working, although I prep dinner as much as I can). I clean and tidy the house. I wash and fold laundry. I spend my lunch breaks driving her home from work so she doesn't have to transit. I have attended every mid-wife and doctor appointment. I make time to be with her after we eat dinner together every night when we usually just chat for a bit, and watch some TV. She spends a lot of time in bed because her nausea is really bad and although I don't spend all my time in bed with her, I check on her at least once and hour to see what she might need.
I'm not drinking alcohol in solidarity with her at her request. She feels sick at the thought of eating meat or drinking coffee so I've basically been off those (nothing around her).

But man, does she seem to hate me lately. She’s always been jealous but is now insanely jealous—interrogating me about my phone, demanding to see it (5 times in less than 2 hours the other day) and accusing me of cheating when I paused to ask what was going on. The next day we got an unexpected doctor appointment email. She immediately texted me super anxious that something was wrong. I didn't see it right away and only texted when I was about to pick her up from work in 10 minutes and I knew we had a hospital appointment the next morning so I texted back "I don't know why. We will find out tomorrow. Coming to get you now." When she got in the car she was pissed. Called me a irresponsible and that I was going to be a bad dad. She said my text was unsupportive and she isn't even going to bother coming to me for support anymore. She also called me a liar when I said I didn't see the text right away.

I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. I know hormones are wild, but these personal attacks hurt, and I’m genuinely worried about how we'll handle a newborn when we're both exhausted. I'm still super excited for the baby, I just wish we could actually enjoy this together instead of her treating me like the enemy.

Hey gang ,

We are preggers again after a miscarriage earlier this year. Happy but filled with existential dread. My question is how are y’all meal prepping ? I get home a couple hours before my wife so it makes sense to cook but I’m also knee deep in home renovations. Looking for some suggestions for easy casseroles, crock pots , insta pot or air fryer recipes that actually work and not the pretend tik tok life. Thanks !

Crazy gestational kickback

Edit for context: legs and feet kicked up and crossed

I've been so excited over the last few months about having a child. We just discovered that it's a girl. It's kind of funny, because the second the gender and name clicked it's like my whole outlook on life and everything else has changed.

The only thing to be solved, is I was never really around little girls and have no idea what the father-daughter relationship looks like.

As someone who was a very typical boy, I have no idea how I will relate to her and have no idea what I have to offer her.

Does anyone have any thoughts? I'm so excited to love her in the best way I can, but little girls just seem like a foreign creature.

Hi everyone. Found this sub while looking online for help. It made me smile to see some of the recent posts of happy dads and excitement around plus signs.

We found out today at our first OBGYN appointment. The technician found no fetal pole during the ultrasound. I tried to stay optimistic until we saw a provider, who did tell us some encouraging news, if you’d call it that.

The gestational sac is just under fully developed and we’re maybe a little earlier than we might have thought. We have some more testing and another ultrasound next week to confirm one way or the other.

In a way, this limbo is almost harder than just knowing. Especially since the absolute max chance of a good outcome is still very low, and it’s less “there’s hope” and more “we don’t have enough data to medically say it’s certainly a miscarriage”.

Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I’m absolutely gutted. I didn’t know pain like this existed and I’ve never cried like this in my adult life. The people we’ve told, the books I bought, the way we’ve talked about our future. Looking back at it all I almost cringe. I was enjoying the process so much and am so heartbroken right now. I was so excited to be a dad. This might sound strange, but it’s something I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time; even as a kid I remember being excited to be a dad some day.

I want to keep my hopes up but my wife and I both feel like that’s a wasted endeavor. We’re keeping hope for the baby, but not for ourselves if that makes sense. We’ve told some family and close friends so far but that’s about it.

I’ll take any advice out there, be it simple “stay positives” or actionable recommendations. As I said in the title I just feel completely lost right now. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

We're at 37 weeks now, and this will be our first baby. I'm planning to work right up until the moment, and then taking 2 months off work (that's basically how the company policy works, they give us 2 paid months off as the father, which I think is nice).

However, I cannot focus at work. My life is about to be flipped upside down, and I'm going to be responsible for an entire human being, yet I'm supposed to care about a company that would replace me next week without a second thought if I were to die right now. I'm also currently working on something that, TBH, isn't necessary—like it's not something that is saving lives or breaking new ground—it's just niche software product.

How do y'all get work done?

We believe my wife is 6 weeks and 2 days. We called the OBGYN and the soonest they can get her in is Nov 20. Is it normal to wait that long for the first ultrasound? I think that would put her at 10 weeks 5 days.

Nursery is nearing completion! Last two photos are the before (we got a fixer upper lol). Now just need to put up some decorations!

I'm 49 and in good shape, but I worry about being 60 when my kids are 10 and 70 when they're 20. Dads who had kids later, what did you do to plan for that, and what do you wish you'd known? Any advice appreciated.

This bedroom used to run half the length of our house, but one day we thought, “what if we ate up 1/3 of it to create a walk-in closet?”

Some construction later, that leftover 11x12 room (ish, give or take) became our nursery. New accent wall, new crib, new closet system — old floors. Not all the way there yet, but it’s coming along!

The history of trying has been brutal

Lost the first one at 6 weeks about 2 years ago and about 5 months ago we didn't know there was one in there but it was lost shortly after conception

We feel different about this one

6 going on 7 weeks and we saw the heartbeat today

I wept tears of joy when the nurse said all is good and healthy and they can see the heartbeat

Im praying to every god I know the name of that this one sees it through

Мне просто хочется выговориться и услышать советы, потому что я уже вообще не понимаю, что делать.
Я с самого детства жила в маленьком городе. Мой отец ещё когда я была ребёнком сказал мне, что я ему не нужна, но при этом он всё равно поддерживал со мной контакт. Сам он всё это время жил в Алматы. Для меня Алматы всегда казался каким-то другим миром — город намного больше моего, и я с детства очень хотела когда-нибудь здесь жить.
И вот сейчас мне 18 лет, я беременна, уже 7-й месяц 😂
Когда я узнала о беременности, я сама предложила мужу переехать в Алматы. Мы очень молодые, но с самого начала сами за себя, всё оплачиваем сами и понимаем, что ребёнок — это наша ответственность.
Я связалась с отцом, рассказала ему, что мы хотим переехать. Он сказал, что поможет. У него есть такая возможность: он ездит на хорошей машине, живёт в дорогом районе, в хорошем ЖК. Поэтому я, наверное, где-то внутри себя рассчитывала, что раз он обещал помогать, то действительно будет какая-то помощь.
Но в итоге мы приехали буквально почти с нуля. Я сразу устроилась на работу, муж тоже. Я получаю около 200 тысяч, он около 250 тысяч.
И вроде бы 450 тысяч на двоих звучит нормально, но у нас только аренда квартиры 200 тысяч в месяц, ещё коммуналка, еда, транспорт, бытовые расходы и кредит, который уже просрочен. И я сейчас беременна, мне всё тяжелее работать.
Я работаю по 12 часов в кофейне и понимаю, что физически уже просто не вывожу. Но если я уйду, наши доходы очень сильно упадут, и я вообще не понимаю, как мы будем платить за квартиру и всё остальное.
И самое неприятное для меня даже не деньги. Мне очень обидно из-за ситуации с отцом. Я понимаю, что он не обязан содержать меня и мою семью. Мы сами решили переехать, сами решили рожать ребёнка и сами должны нести за это ответственность.
Но с другой стороны, я всегда думала: ну почему тогда, когда я была ребёнком, мне практически ничего не давали, а сейчас, когда я действительно оказалась в очень тяжёлой ситуации и он объективно может помочь, я всё равно должна справляться абсолютно одна?
Я не хочу выпрашивать у него деньги и не хочу выглядеть так, будто я приехала в Алматы только ради его помощи. Мы с мужем действительно стараемся работать и всё тянуть сами.
Просто сейчас я чувствую, что я на нуле. Я беременная, работаю по 12 часов, денег всё равно не хватает, квартира очень дорогая для нас, есть просроченный кредит, скоро роды, а я вообще не понимаю, что будет дальше.
Возвращаться обратно тоже не хочется. Если честно, для меня это будет ощущаться как будто я не справилась. Тем более я сама предложила этот переезд, сама хотела сюда.
Я не знаю, чего я хочу от этого поста. Наверное, просто выговориться и услышать мнение людей со стороны.
Что бы вы сделали на моём месте? Уходили бы с работы, искали жильё дешевле, возвращались обратно или пытались как-то пережить этот период в Алматы?

So, a few weeks ago, I drove 1k+ miles back to where I'm from after ending things with my now ex-girlfriend. We had a pretty toxic relationship towards the end, communication issues, and disrespectful communication, just to mention some of the issues. I reached out to her a little while after I got back - I knew that I heavily contributed to a lot of the issues in the relationship, and thought maybe we could work out the communication issues and potentially reconcile. We've had discussions and a number of arguments and a couple of close "I'm done with you" incidents while talking over the phone, but I've still been wanting to try.

Today she mentioned how she has been throwing up in the morning, how her breasts are sore, and that she had a low grade fever. Turned out the common cause for those things is.... Pregnancy.

She sent me a picture earlier of two tests showing two very clear solid lines. We didn't think this would even happen because she has an IUD. But... Here we are.

I genuinely don't know how to feel about any of this. On one hand, I was already considering going back up there if we are able to work out our issues, but on the other hand, I was also very much okay with us not getting back together if we can't work things out and living my life.

Now it feels like... I'm happy, very happy in a way - I never thought I'd have a chance to have my own biological child. But I'm also very anxious and worried because while we had talked a lot about marriage and having our own child while we were together, I'm honestly not sure I'm cut out for this. She has a young daughter who I very much loved and cared for, but she was a lot to deal with. I'm a horrible person for saying this, but honestly, I felt free when I left.

I have a lot of selfish tendencies, and my avoidant behavior has been a major thing plaguing the relationship since we started, although I've made some progress on it and grown during the time we were together.

But I don't know if I can change. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I don't know if I can go back and deal with any more contempt, disrespect, or belittling. I don't know if I can give her the emotional intimacy that she needs from me. I don't know if anything is going to be different. But I want to be there for her. I do.

She has been telling me "it's fine, you don't have to come" and things like that, but I've been adamant about wanting to be there for her, even if we aren't together. She has decided to keep the child regardless of if I want to be in their life or not. I'm really not sure what moving forward is going to look like.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the words and the support. I'm making the decision to move back up there with her. The main thing I'm worried about once I get up there is the whole job thing. I'm an IT guy and finding a way to get your foot started in a career like that up in a extremely large city has been exceptionally difficult. I was up there for a year and finding a job working in tech was a never-ending battle. I'm considering finding a program to get into doing electrician work and making that the career for the time being, but if anyone has any tips, let me know. The city is NYC.

Current status: partner is 8 weeks a few days with our first ultrasound in a few day

We all know a lot can happen from when our partners first find out theyre pregnant

The symptoms start emerging of physical body sensitivity and other things our partners experience. Both of us get excited

As a prospective dad, and partner, how do you help your partner manage her emotions and thoughts when the symptoms might be going away or if she thinks shes losing the baby?

I legit feel helpless and try to just listen and let her work through what shes going through and just be an ear to support. As an fyi, we had a chemical pregnancy a few months ago

What confuses me is seeing so many stories from moms-to-be who are in relationships that are emotionally draining or even abusive, yet they still struggle to leave because of the relationship, while I’m in a situation where my girlfriend and I haven’t experienced anything like that.

We’ve definitely had arguments, and there have been moments where we questioned whether we should stay together, but lately things have actually been good. I care about her, I want to be there for her and our daughter, and I’m trying to do my part.
But despite things being better, I still can’t shake this feeling deep down that she sees me more as her “baby daddy” than her boyfriend.

I also wonder if part of this insecurity comes from the fact that we aren’t married and don’t have the same commitment to each other that a married couple would have. We got pregnant relatively early in our relationship, before we really had the chance to build that foundation together. So sometimes I wonder whether she sees a future with me as her partner, or whether the pregnancy simply made us parents before we really became a committed couple.

I’m not saying she doesn’t care about me, and I know pregnancy can completely change the dynamic of a relationship. I just don’t want us to become two people who co-parent our daughter while the romantic relationship slowly disappears.
I want to be her partner, not just her baby’s father. I want us to eventually build a family together because we genuinely choose each other—not simply because we have a child together.

Has anyone else experienced an unexpected pregnancy relatively early in a relationship, especially while unmarried? Did you ever feel like you became “baby mom/baby dad” before you really got to become boyfriend/girlfriend? Did that feeling eventually go away as the relationship developed, or was it a sign that something deeper was missing?

We’re expecting due january and honestly i don’t know how to feel like im honestly scared shitless. I’m great with kids i’ve been with my girlfriend for a year now and i’ve stepped up and helped raise her now about to be three year old son and i’m the only father figure he’s ever known i’ve grown so attached to him and he’s literally my mini me but now that im expecting one of my own all i do is doubt myself. We’re staying with her dad because it’s been way harder than i thought to get our own place and that just feeds my feelings that i wasn’t ready to be a leader of anyone but myself. life was easy when i only had to worry about myself but now i gotta take care of everyone and i feel like im letting everyone down. Then i feel guilty for missing my old life i feel like the days of enjoying my life are over and the hard part hasn’t even started. i know it sounds selfish but i miss having hobbies, traveling and being a happy person now im just a depressed shell of myself. it makes me feel bad because my gf is just happy to have a kid with me she doesn’t care what i have or don’t have. it’s like she only sees the good side and i only see the bad. sometimes i think it’s because she already had a kid when we met so her being able to have hobbies and things like that went out the window not to sound like a asshole but now it’s my turn to give up my old life and dreams and just be a parent and it kills me to think about. i love my girl to death but i feel like she always wanted this life and i still had things i wanted to accomplish and experience that will have to go on the back burner for at least 20 years and by then ill be old and life will have passed me by. these are just some of my thoughts but at the end of the day ill be here with my family cuz they need me and i need them but i just feel numb when it comes to enjoying anything anymore…