r/oneliners • u/daaave33 • 18h ago
146
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r/oneliners • u/LiteratureSure3738 • 16h ago
I quit being a firefighter due to constant burnout
23
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r/oneliners • u/Gussy_writes • 55m ago
I was eating vegetable soup last night, tasted real good until I bit into another wheelchair.
•
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r/oneliners • u/Internal_Drawing_460 • 1d ago
Joking about muslim fundamentalists can blow up in your face
27
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r/oneliners • u/huevosyhuevos • 1d ago
This field of carrots marks the worst snowman mass casualty event in history
19
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r/oneliners • u/No-Cardiologist7640 • 2d ago
Learning Braille is so easy you can do it with your eyes closed
50
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r/oneliners • u/breck • 2d ago
Doc said he would be right back and told me to get undressed but never said stay in exam room.
0
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r/oneliners • u/CFCYYZ • 3d ago
I joined the Procrastinator's Club in university, but the meetings were always postponed.
27
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r/oneliners • u/sulldanivan • 4d ago
After biting a flight attendant Selma Blair had the nerve to complain about the in-flight snacks.
16
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r/oneliners • u/Timberfist • 3d ago
TIL that Area 51, the top secret United States Air Force base in the Nevada Desert is so called because it measures exactly three meters by seventeen.
0
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r/oneliners • u/SlitchBap • 5d ago
It's ironic that pregnant women can only have virgin drinks
63
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r/oneliners • u/ShaggyB • 6d ago
A hurricane and a himmicane got together and made a smaller storm and then developed post partum tropical depression
22
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r/oneliners • u/CrazyKZG • 8d ago
My penis may not be 12 inches long, but it smells like a foot.
59
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r/oneliners • u/Gusto88 • 8d ago
Pessimists see a bathroom stall without a door while optimists see a shit show ready to happen.
9
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