But sometimes you execute one so fucking clean it’s almost an art form. 😂
I have Lyft’s deaf/hard-of-hearing setting enabled, so a text satisfies the contact requirement. No phone call necessary.
I initially parked with my passenger door facing the apartment, hoping for a quick pickup. Hop in, flip around, and we’re gone.
But you didn’t give me a quick pickup.
With two minutes left, I send: “I’m in a black Toyota.”
Then I reposition. I’m no longer set up for a pickup. I’m positioned for the roll-off. Facing the exit. No backing up, no three-point turn.
One minute left he texts: “Okay, coming out.”
And I’m thinking, no, you’re not. You’re probably just now grabbing your keys and putting your shoes on. 😂
I’m already betting against you. And now you’re playing against the house.
I’ve accepted a more profitable Uber ride, and I’ve positioned my car so you can’t catch me maneuvering out. You’re racing the clock. I’m waiting for it to expire.
Timer hits ZERO.
At that EXACT moment, your apartment door opens. Here you come!
Left hand on my phone.
Cancel. Collect fee. Roll off. 😂
And there you stand, probably thinking, “But I told him I was coming!”
Brother, telling me you’re coming doesn’t stop the clock.
The house wins. I’m already on my way to Uber. 🤌