Hi, I am here to vent but also to share my art.

I was "lucky" to have this "thing" and I can't stop creating pathetic love songs. I suffered for this thing for many years (since 2009 when I was 22). Now I don't suffer anymore, because of my mindfulness and acceptance practices, but over the years I realized she is not going anywhere.

I can't think of a day somewhere in the future when she will not be the most beautiful girl for me, because I keep her in my mind as I remember her back then, coated with idealization, layer after layer. Who can ever compete with that?

A few years ago I thought is a serotonin problem, anxiety and depression got me fucked up. Let's go on SSRIs, that will fix it! Yes it fixed the anxiety and the depression, but I couldn't fix HER. I got tired of trying at some point and I felt better? Because reasons.

I would kill for a second of you liking me.

Anyways, here is the song: Moon by Razvan Ice | Suno Not sure if the post will be accepted, but anyways.

Thanks!

I’m trying to get over my LO by no contact essentially ruining the friendship also by getting rid of it, but does anyone else feel like their LO is so cool that you guys shouldn’t have been friends in the first place. Like obv since she’s my LO I think she’s so unique and cool but idk if it’s the infatuation that’s making me think this way or if it’s just true

Hi everyone,
I am severely struggling with limerence or love, or both, not totally sure. I don’t truly think it’s limerence, but either way I am hurting so terribly bad. I’m a 32 year old male who honestly fell in love with another woman while I’m married. My marriage was not great, I have not been happy for a long time, but I’ve been so scared and so confused on my life. It’s not an excuse, but I did have an emotional affair with the woman I fell in love with. That’s what makes me think it’s not limerence because it was very much mutual, but she cut it off and stayed in her marriage that she was also unfaithful in. We felt as though we were very much each other’s person and if we met in another lifetime, we would have been perfect together. I completely agree and it makes it so terrible for me. I love my wife, but it feels very much platonic and not what I need forever. This other woman has been around for many years, so it’s not like I just randomly met her, but she showed me more in a few months than I’ve ever felt, and to say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. I’m just needing support or someone that understands. I’m in therapy, but nobody gets it and I’m just a bad person in everyone’s eyes. I’m very much drowning and the one person that understood me, is gone.

Is there anything you have noticed about yourselves that either got worse or got better after being out of the limerence loop?

Socially, I’m making more strides. It’s not linear in anyway, but that’s ok. I have more group chats with like 5 different groups of people now, most of them I hang with either often, or seldomly. I talk with like half of my department about different topics we relate to(including a former LO which we connect pretty well on a friend level). I’ve attempted to start up dates with a couple people. Nothing worked out but that’s ok. I’ve learned to not dwell on it and let their actions speak. I also learned that it’s ok to feel frustrated or disappointed, but to also not just lash out or get disrespectful because of it. Just to give them the same energy they give you.

I’ve also been in a confession/apology tour throughout the year regarding my actions during my limerent phase. Told a former gf(she was not one) a coworker(not the LO), my sister and one of my close friends that I almost lost because of it. I did try to contact the LO that was most affected but no response. I also contacted her husband. I know it’s a big no/no but I made sure to emphasize that I’m directly apologizing to him for how I acted to him. I wouldn’t have said nothing; but he actually saved our messages from that time and I was kind of puzzled because I don’t remember a single text from it. I’m also not afraid about the responses I may get from them or from anybody I’ve affected. It just helps to get it out and if people hate me for it, I’ll be ok.

I’ve also set some goals that I’ll set every year just so I have something to look toward. I probably only passed half of them but it’s better than nothing.

I’m able to detect or describe how I feel now more detailed. Used to just be I’m happy, I’m mad or I’m sad, now there’s it’s more fined. I feel ashamed, I feel anxious, I feel nervous, I feel surprised, guilty, frustrated, etc.

Now I know some people may not be as held back as I was or maybe there’s others that are even worse. The important thing is that we improve our quality of life now than let this thing consume us of our real humanity within ourselves. I’m interested in hearing what others have learned about themselves coming out of the other side.

Two months ago I confessed my feelings to LO but he didn't feel the same way and we both went NC for several days to avoid hurting me with communication.
Then I broke the no contact because honestly I started feeling better and I liked someone else BUT then I started liking him more. I feel like LO is great, he's sweet and loving and I love him way too much.

But the problem is I can't confess to him again because we'll go NC again and I'm not ready for that 🥺 I'd like to keep being his friend for months, and that one day, the miracle would happen that he'd notice how much I love him 🥲😭 do you think you can be friends with your LO?

(Long story) and boring as hell, if you can tolerate boring things then please continue further, you're welcomed, dear :

When I was in school, I thought having a crush was normal, I never fixated myself on a single person.

Till I met a guy who appeared at such a critical time in my life. He never knew anything about me, never asked me anything, we never talked a lot about each other.

I was going through depression, anxiety and a lot of mental issues during summer break and it continued because of some personal issues in my family and something that happened to me at that time.

I was a teenager, and I am still one but at that time I was so desperate and so hurt that my mind, my true self got so numb that till now I am unable to bring that version of myself, I

lost myself at that time.

Then this guy appeared like an angel, ( Why am I describing him like this)?

Cuz he smiled whenever he looked at me while notebook distribution or simply passing by, it gave me a lot of hope, motivation and I felt somehow very alive.

Idk

..

..

I thought he was this perfect being, i saw him as a good person even though he wasn't really like that.

I made him my god, I never said anything but being around him was enough for me to be alive, he became my oxygen (so cringe).

(Fantasy of him being the peak of perfection)

My weird obsession, I wanted to know more about him but never managed to.

Watched cricket for him even though i never knew, how many balls are there in an over?

Checked schedules related to odi, T20s stuff.

So i could talk to him in class, by using cricket as an excuse. ( SO DUMB)

(He liked me too, cuz I felt it was like, simple.)

BUT NEVER SAID IT, STARTED IGNORING ME BEFORE FINALS.

My section was changed, when I passed the previous class, i still had this longing for him, simply taking a look at him made my day.

I could do anything for him at that time.

Then, he disappeared for a week, it felt like a freaking YEARRRR!!!!!

He went to Goa for his tournament or whatever (PLAYS CRICKET )

Life was going like this till my classmate suggested that I join Snapchat, i wasn't on social till then, but i joined it cuz someone said he uses it too.

So i started using Snapchat for him, so that I could talk to him, silly me. I was so obsessed ( Still I am)

I texted him, he texted back, he never initiated any conversation, i was the one who did it all.

It felt so bad, every hour, every minute, every second, felt like a moment i could never be comfortable at.

I used to wait like a Crazy for him, but never got a single text, like I did.

No spotlights, no memes nothing, not even a hi and me sending hi thinking will it work?

Sometimes, he talked rudely to me I thought it was my fault for bothering him like this.

I cried a lot, a lot, a lot.

I wished, he would some day, wipe my tears.

I've always looked for love, my parents are abusive, they themselves are trapped in a toxic relationship.

Looking at them, I felt like love was like that, you have to earn it like an OLYMPIC MEDAL. It wasn't.

Then, the day came when i confessed to him, he said he used to like me i.e, Main bhi tumhe pasand krta tha.

He never said anything after that. I didn't confess that easily.

(i was telling him stories for like an hour till i came to the main point, he was like please come to the point, he made me say it, i wasn't able to, actually )

He ignored me infront of his classmates or friends, never talked to me in class or whenever classes were merged, he stopped waving at me like he used to whole gong by the bus.

I felt like I was stabbed in my heart, as if i was the problem, I tried my best to keep him, but I could not.

I was exhausted, he never really gave an explanation or something that he wants me to be a good friend.

He continued talking to me through chats and simple.

Asked me to help him cheat during board

That night, my parents i was crying like crazy when he asked me this.

I started realising he never gave a fuck but i was too naive and I still.

Left cricket,

I stopped using Snapchat,

I removed him from Snapchat for a year and then added him this year in 2026 ( last week probably) again, I felt like he would never add me but he fucking did!

His intentions were never clear and I am realising that I can't fake it, whatever I felt.

I feel like it's limerence not love, it's obsession nothing else. I've cried for him like crazy, i feel like I am not worthy enough to be with him.

The thing is I don't want to be with him, but want to get him out of my heart, my mind , from the nucleus of my cell.

What do I do? And how?

It's ruining my ruined life ?! Hahaha

I have been limerent for a work colleague for 2.5 years. He is much senior to me, but we are the same age. We are both married with children. I knew straight away, though thought it was platonic. It's now not. We talk via messages for hours each day, often from morning to night, mainly jokes, memes, but an awful lot of personal things- though he never discusses his wife negatively.

On the times he visits work we eat together (in staff canteen) but we never meet up, just message 100's of times per day. He teases me at work, or sings my praises and despite knowing it cannot be true, I am sure he has feelings for me too.

This morning, on my day off I drove just yo 'accidentally' be at work when he arrived as I knew we would get a 15 window to talk in person. When he saw me he said "you look amazing" and my heart nearly exploded.

I am finding myself creepy at this stage. It just feels so nice to be near him, like calm inside. But I know I cannot keep doing crazy shit like this. Any advice? Please be kind. 😞

i have a friend who i met over the summer, and we got pretty close in a short amount of time. we don’t talk as often as we did back then since he’s in college now and we don’t see each other in person anymore, but i’d still consider him a good friend of mine. i think he probably sees me as a good friend too. we reach out to each other sometimes, and i understand that our circumstances are different from when we saw each other almost every day.

the thing is, i came across his reddit account by accident after seeing a picture he posted elsewhere that was also posted on reddit. out of curiosity, i ended up finding some personal information about him that i wasn’t supposed to know. his account is private, so i can’t normally see his posts, and i’ve blocked the website i was using to view them. i haven’t told him about any of this, and i feel guilty because i feel like i’ve seen parts of his life that he never intended for me to see. i’m scared of telling my therapist because i’m scared that we will have to go no contact and that my therapist might make me block him on everything.

even though i’ve blocked the website, i still get the urge to find a way to look again because i’m naturally nosy and curious about people i’m friends with. i don’t necessarily want to act on that urge, but it’s hard to ignore it, especially when i know there’s information out there that i could potentially access.

i feel bad because i genuinely care about him as a friend, and i don’t want my curiosity to cross a boundary or change how i treat him. at the same time, i can’t undo what i’ve already seen, and i keep feeling guilty about it.

has anyone else ever stumbled across information about someone they know that they probably weren’t meant to see? how do you deal with the curiosity and guilt without giving in to the urge to keep looking?

Why are you an absolute idiot?

Learn your lesson!

---

I know it's hard but... stop allowing him to trigger your weaknesses!

You are stronger than this.

You are wasting so much energy and thought over something entirely pointless. All that brain-space you could be saving and putting into something so much more valuable.

All the time you spent and spend imagining how happy he is with her. Trying to understand him, trying to comprehend his words, his values, his state of mind.

He intentionally wraps himself in avoidance and secrets so that wherever he truly is, he is untouchable, inconceivable.

A puzzle you cannot solve. Something you cannot really understand.

A Paradox.

When will you just accept that it was never meant to be? What are you seeking?

Why does it hurt so much?

That this is a lesson you have to learn.

---

Remember who loves you, who for the past 1 year+ has unapologetically been by your side. Through fall-outs, through drama, through long crying nights of grueling calls.

Who tells you he loves you every single day, every moment. The paragon of patience and innocent and truthful love.

Your Dork ♥

He promised you that you will never be alone, that he will never abandon you and he has never once, not even in the slightest, hesitated.

He keeps no secrets, speaks his mind, helps you carry the heavy load of your current illness.

Through things that the world will scream at him to leave you or for you to leave him because he deserves better (and he does, he deserves so much better than who I am right now), that no one would accept, that not even you may accept (you fucking hypocrite) - he stood by your side.

Remember the man who said he wants to marry you and that you believe will fully keep his promise.

Imagine the ring. The feel on your finger. The weight and lightness of the eternal vow.

Remember who makes you feel like loving you.. is easy? That you're not a chore, who has explicitly told you that he doesn't feel like he's walking on eggshells around you -- despite you being a minefield...

He makes the storm that you are feel like a light summer drizzle.

---

You are sick, an illness that you were weak enough to allow to happen. A horrifying thought parasite that burrows into you and tears your insides and gets stuck in your throat to where only the constant stream of tears can relieve the pressure.

Something is broken in you and it is entirely your responsibility to fix.

---

I don't know how to fix it.

Block! they scream. I can't. I've tried, again and again.

I always unblock. Weak, pathetic fool.

Professional victim.

I hate you.

---

I miss who I was when I wasn't fractured.

How do you cure the addiction when relapses are so easy.. when the supply is so.. available?

---

I have no self control. No self-discipline.

I am a paragon of the pathetic.

---

Long live the Dork Brigade. I will continue fighting until I can't anymore.

I will win.. or die trying.

A few years ago I developed a crush on someone in my workplace. They were very senior to me in both age and position. It was a time of my life I was isolated and lonely and had low self esteem. I was also married. I saw this person 2-3 times a week at the office. Over time we realized we had some things in common and they would share music and movie recommendations with me. I spent a lot of time fantasizing about them. It kept me busy and my mind occupied. I wanted them to also be thinking about me. I never crossed the line or planned to. But I did fantasize about doing it. I never had intention of having a relationship with them. But I knew my crush was too much.

My spouse and I were struggling at this time. After their encouragement, I confided in them that I had a crush. That everything had been above board and it was all in my head. I tried to explain limerence and my upbringing of emotionally immature parenting that has been linked to limerence.

My spouse filed for divorce with one of the main reasons being an emotional affair with said LO. They named the person in court documents and included our work emails and the odd Facebook message as proof. They contacted the LOs spouse to tell them to watch out for me. I was a homewrecker and a stalker. Everyone knew.

I never got to tell my side or explain. My spouse told friends and family about my emotional infidelity, embellishing it significantly. I never spoke to the person again but think about them almost daily. The thought that I may have caused them harm and ruined their family and reputation is excruciating.

My message to spouses of people who experience limerence is: please try to understand. It not something we can turn off easily. We don’t always have bad intentions. Please don’t publicly shame us. Know it’s often a fantasy version of the person that our minds have created and not the actual person we are limerent about.

My message to those with limerence: try and find another source for your dopamine hit. I know all too well how good it feels to indulge in it. Put yourself in the shoes of your LO and their family. How would you feel if a person was obsessing and fantasizing about you. Meet new people if you can. Once I got divorced and started socializing with people and making new friends, my self esteem improved exponentially. I began to like myself. I’m sure limerence will strike again but I feel prepared to nip it in the bud.

Sending love to everyone dealing with this.

Literally don't know what to do, don't know where to go. This is at work. Having limerence--It literally didn't matter at all initially. Thought I could avoid the person but I kept running into them, kept making weird eye contact with them. I thought trying to avoid would make it a better work environment to try and ignore them and it did not work. Tried to explain the situation and it made it worse. I have made it bad for everyone involved by obsessing over the individual.

I saw a YT video, re-explaining what limerence was for me and I got it. I barely knew the person, so they retained themselves as some perfect being in my mind. I know my options at this point ... are to quit this job or to try and voluntarily change my job hours so I STOP running into them. (Well for most days, i cant switch every day most likely). If anyone actually cares, isn't going to roast me into oblivion, remind me of how its my fault (I know) without any actual solutions and wants more details let me know. You'd think my end all problems would be healthcare, insomnia/apnea, anxiety .. but nope. Whats worse is i had like two L.O. at the same time, no problems whatsoever. Didn't have to approach, they didnt notice me and we went on our own separate ways. Then when one of the two L.O. quit .. this situation happened. .. I've prayed, ive apologized, i've cried and ... im so tired.

Ok I’m prefacing this by saying I HATED LIMERENCE. I hated every bit of the experience. It was like I was living in hell every day and I would never actually want to go through that again. But I can’t help but feel like my life is so…boring now. I’ve lost contact with LO, and my brain has been occupying itself with short, shallow, and obsessive crushes. I just feel like I’ll never achieve that amount of pure emotion that being in Limerence brought me- even though most of it was pain and suffering. I just kind of miss the feeling of being so happy when someone talks to me. Idk life is so boring without a “big crush” or something like that.

What helped you the most? What habits or little things do you do that didn't seem obviously important but ended up being crucial in helping you overcome your limerence? What advice would you offer someone still struggling?

I am way better than I used to be despite still dealing with occasional daydreams and urge to frequent places where I might run into them on purpose (like festivals and bars we both have aquintances/friends going to, to clarify-not stalking) and I badly wish to get rid of this.

Any advice is very appreciated.

I have been with my fiancee for 5 years. We have been mid distance for the past 3. A couple months ago, I moved in with a couple and another friend. Over that time, I have developed an excruciating and intense limerence for the girl in the relationship.

It's only strengthened by some of the things she does, folding my laundry, cleaning my car, driving me to the airport 1:1, extended periods of 1:1 time in close proximity, teasing, etc.

I feel awful about it but feel powerless to stop it, especially in this living situation. I feel like I owe it to my fiancee to tell her, but I don't want to hurt her. I just need her support in getting over this.

Does anyone have any thoughts?

He’s younger than me which is a first for me i’ve never ever been attracted to someone younger than me in my entire life, and the way i feel about him is crazy because i’ve never even talked to him.

I feel like it’s not limerence anymore it’s something else, it started like one but gradually developed into something else.

At first I didn’t care about him as a person, I just thought he looked cute and when he sits next to me on the bus, i like how he feels against me and i like his smell, but I never felt like I wanted to talk to him because I wanted to know him, i genuinely didn’t care, anytime I looked at him I just that he’s cute and nothing more.

Then Idk what changed now I suddenly feel something intense towards him. I feel like I want to talk to him and get to know him, I want him to know me and I want him in my life. I can’t stop thinking about him, playing what our first conversation would be like, establish a friendship first then see where it goes.

What I hate most is that it seems so easy because he’s very close we go to the same uni, but there has been more than three attempts to talk to him yet something happens and ruins it, either he skips the bus or skips uni or someone sitting with him or he doesn’t go the food court (which is where i plan to talk to him).

He attends uni everyday but I only have classes two days of the week so if for example Wednesday failed i have to wait until Monday which is literal hell, I do have his phone number from the bus group but it’s so weird to just randomly text someone you don’t know. Also i have to be extremely careful because the consequences of my actions are extreme it’s not simple.

I know there’s not a lot of info on my hand about this situation but i just wanted to rant and to see if someone experienced something similar.

Again, I’ve never felt this way about anyone i haven’t talked to, all my previous crushes and lovers started with mild attraction then developed into something gradually, this one is crazy.

And I actually feel like at some point, he would become part of my life, i don’t know why but i just have this gut feeling.

I realized that it was limerence early and I'm really glad that I did, because I was feeling crazy. Now its been like a month and I'm trying to see if there's a chance. I haven't asked her out or really talked to her so, is it crazy if I try to make it work while being cautious to not be obsessive and take notes of the problems that come up or should I just end it in my mind before I'm to invested?

This is the first time I've felt this way about someone and ending it will be hard because I'm scared I might not feel this way again. I also see her everyday so trying to forget about her would be pretty hard. please give advice I'm desperate.

I'm also in much more control, and better off than I was when I first realized I liked her.

Last week I more or less ended things with my dude, was tired of the hot and cold type of emotional responses. Haven't talked in a week and it sucks so bad, he told me to lose his number and so I deleted it but we didn't remove each other from Instagram. Today I saw he changed his profile pic to a picture I drew of him a couple weeks back. What the fuck?

Sometimes I feel like my LO just KNOWS i have feelings for him. Today in his office (he's a prof and my former prof), I was just sitting there causally doomscrolling then out of the corner of my eye, I see him taking off his sweatshirt and let's just say i got a glimpse... okay it's nothing nsfw but like I saw his stomach cause his shirt rode and i'm SCREAMING. Like does this man know or not know what he does to me? He literally stops right across from the table from me and BAM his sweatshirt and a bit of his shirt comes up. and i'm like.... i got the hots for him... it's so bad. it wasn't as bad when an LO accidentally touched me on the leg tho, that was... something. else. we dont' talk about that LO, he's not a bad dude but that was embarrassing how down bad I was for him. and it's embarrassing how down bad i am for my current LO.

I know we don't recommend sleeping with an LO but hear me out... (ignore me). maybe if we just get out of my syst---- anyway.

this man might as well just taken off his shirt too. idk. but oh my gosh. I should not have seen that. i had to look away and force myself to stare at reddit so I didn't look draw dropped. and I'm PRAYING he did not see me checking him out. If this man caught me, teased me, i'd prolly be willing to do all sorts of.... things. but that's besides the point, i needed to lay my head down cause of what i just saw. now he's not bad looking... but he's not your good looking guy. he's just your average joe. and this (my) average joe, has got to not flash me if he doesn't want me to jum---- okay i really need to relax.

MY POINT IS this man needs some manners on how to properly take off his sweatshirt, and not accidentally give me a heart attack when I basically see him half naked. and NOT stop straight in front of me when he does so, like have some decency (or don't...)

I'm just asking for insight and opinions.

What's the point of getting rid of limerence if it makes you happy and gives you dopamine? Is thinking and dreaming about LO to get a "happy high" not the same as other dopamine addictions like doomscrolling or watching too much TV or whatever else people consider bad? But in the context, I'm not talking about level 100 obsession or self-destructive limerence; I'm talking about mild limerence or intentionally thinking about LO for dopamine. It also seems like limerence is an extremely common phenomenon that people live with, so it's not that rare of a mental state to be in.

I honestly just don't really see or understand the reasons to stop? I'm NC with my LO, and I don't really stalk them on socials anymore, but I just can't find a reason to fully 100% move on if it's something that can bring me happiness. I still have hobbies, friends, and things to keep me busy, but daydreaming and getting those dopamine highs also make me happy and feel good, and I just don't really see where the line is.

What makes it so hard for me to break this pattern is the fact that he liked me a lot during a particular time😭😭😭 he liked me the way i wanted to be liked, for the right reasons.
Now he’s totally detached and living his life while im stuck. I hate myself for this. How do i break this. I hate myself

​So, quick update to my first post about my LO.

​I finally confessed my feelings to him, and his response was short and brutal: "Hi, I have a girlfriend, please never message me again."

​Then I found out in a mutual group chat who the girlfriend actually is. It's another mentee from the exact same adult learning program where I met him. We know each other (not friends), and she witnessed our dynamic from the start.

​Looking back with fresh eyes, I feel like I misread everything and got caught up in a confusing situation. Those shared moments in class were him specifically engaging with the females he wanted, but playing it off so it looked like he was just being charismatic with everyone. In private, things were personal. He kissed me, felt me up, gave soft hugs, and made sweet compliments, but then would turn around and make comments about my body, telling me I needed to lose weight to be "hot."

​He treated us both very differently:

​Me: He called me "gorgeous," but framed me as the "tough girl" with baggage and "unconventional beauty." At the time, we had great banter and chemistry. I loved his mind and really wanted to get to know him on a deeper level.

​Her: She was the total damsel in distress, always dealing with crises. On paper, she was the "viable" choice for him. They're around the same age and share a similar cultural background. Everyone praised her beauty and gave her a pass despite her personality, while she acted super friendly with everyone and asked a lot of questions about me and him. Over time, she even started adopting some of my habits.

​People in the program rooted for them, which made me feel isolated. Looking back, I realize I was meant to fail at succeeding in this career because the cards were completely stacked against me in this adult learning environment. I was lashing out and acting desperate for his validation and attention, and he turned around and painted me as "problematic" and "impulsive" to the cohort. He used my genuine, desperate reactions to discredit me, leaving me with zero support from the program or cohort members while he made himself look like the victim or peacekeeper.

​And I know I'm not blameless here either. I hurt someone who genuinely loved me because I was so consumed by this obsession with my LO, which makes processing all of this even harder.

​My brain is still hijacked, but now it is focused on replaying past moments involving both of them, trying to make sense of how things unfolded.

​Then came the final kicker: she set a photo of them together as her profile pic, and his whole look changed:

- ​He lost a ton of weight, turning his jaw into full-on Handsome Squidward (RIP cute chubby cheeks).

- ​His straight jet-black pompadour duck hair was replaced by a Korean perm with highlights.

- ​A thick silver chain, making him look like a total wannabe looksmaxxing chad.

​My limerence isn't cured, but seeing him look so different while trying to untangle all these mixed signals, the rejection, how my desperation was weaponized against me, and the guilt over who I hurt along the way has left me in a really strange space.

​I am so depressed that I wasted so much time after I last saw him trying to fix myself so I would be chosen, only for someone else to be the chosen one. I know limerence is rooted in abandonment wounds, validation, and wanting to be chosen, but his behaviors gave me so much false hope. His ego clearly fed off my hero worship, and then he just got to walk away with the "hotter" option.

​Honestly, I feel like he will always prey on women in his workplace. Just because he got with this girl now, who is to say that later on a more broken, prettier, younger girl comes around and he goes right back to feeling up mentees in private?

​At this stage of the limerence, I'm looking for advice from anyone who has been through this specific shift. How do I push forward from here and break the mental loop so I can finally be truly free? ANY HELP/ADVICE APPRECIATED!!!

I have yet again fallen into limerance. And yet again it is someone who is totally unavailable to me. Engaged. Not their type. Completely disinterested and oblivious.

And it makes sense to me why I do it. I feel unlovable so I have to create a love story. I am lonely so I fill my time with scenarios about a person to spend time with. Etc

It is actually so depressing. Longing and yearning for someone who has no idea. ALSO setting my self up for total disappointment because they never would consider it.

Why why why why. I hate myself for it and I know it is just a sign that I need to turn the focus in on myself and start focusing on what specifically the limerance is telling me. ie. I need to get laid, I need emotional connection. But it just feels like there is something wrong with my brain that this is a habit I have that practically takes over my thoughts.

Genuinely setting myself up for failure and hurt.

How do I stop doing this and get a fuckinggggggg grip I just feel like an idiot and a loser

I’m just here to embarrass myself because all my LO in the past have been at least ‘reasonable’, as in I know them, whether a friend or a coworker.

But no, I am completely absorbed by a random person that takes the same bus as me LOL. and I am so delusional holy goddamn.

And at the start, I felt this energy from him, like you can feel when someone is paying attention to you (again could be delusion) but I looked at him and hes a little older and I felt nothing.

Somehow I went from not giving a fuck to now being obsessed with this person and it’s getting so bad. And I cringe at the thought of this man just minding his business and not interested and is somehow feeling my energy. I don’t want to creep him out even though I am being creepy lol.

I literally can’t get him out of my head though. And I’m not a very sexual person, and thinking of sex with my previous LO made me feel gross and uncomfortable, but this man I NEED. What is happening to me