I live in Europe, and most of my closest friends are Muslim. We're a group of 12 and my Muslim friends have usually described themselves as some form of progressive. We've always gotten along really well and have openly discussed faith many times. I grew up in a non-Abrahamic faith but have considered myself agnostic for years. I've always been interested in understanding their religious perspectives, while being equally clear about my skepticism toward organized religion.
A few days ago, I was invited to one of their homes for dinner. When I arrived, I noticed that our three other non-Muslim friends weren't there. I later learned they hadn't been invited. I didn't think much of it at the time.
The evening started normally, but eventually the conversation turned to religion. This time, however, it felt different. They began asking about my beliefs, and the conversation quickly turned into an effort to convince me to accept Islam.
They told me it was their duty to educate me about Islam and that I would find happiness and peace if I accepted it. Much of the discussion revolved around monotheism, which confused me because I've never particularly advocated for polytheism either.
I politely tried to end the conversation several times, but they kept pressing. When they asked about my reservations, I explained that I have disagreements with aspects of religious scripture across all faiths, not just Islam. They called me "ignorant" for rejecting the Quran without first studying it in detail. They told me I would be viewed unfavorably on judgement day because I was being given an opportunity to learn about the "true Islam" and was choosing to reject it.
That was very painful to hear, especially coming from people I consider my closest friends.
A few were more persistent than others. Some visibly disengaged, but nobody stepped in or respected my attempts to end the conversation. Eventually, I said I needed to leave. Those who had been particularly invested seemed upset. I had never seen them like this. One asked if I would visit a mosque the next day to speak with someone and learn more. When I politely declined, he wouldn't even look at me.
Since then, our group chats have gone almost completely quiet. I reached out privately to a few who hadn't actively participated, asking what that evening was about and they have not responded to my messages, which is causing me to get anxious.
I feel pretty awful about the whole thing. These are people I considered my closes friends, and I don't understand why they would put me in that position. I've always respected their beliefs, even when I disagree, and I thought that respect was mutual. Given how they've always presented themselves as progressive and accepting of different beliefs, the experience was very unexpected. I also can't help wondering whether the evening was deliberately arranged for this conversation, given that our other non-Muslim friends weren't invited.
I don't want to lose these friendships. I want to understand why they felt compelled to do this and how I can respectfully make it clear that I don't want it to happen again.
I'd especially appreciate perspectives on whether this is considered a religious obligation, even when someone has expressed repeatedly expressed discomfort. More generally, how do I mend these friendships while respecting their faith and protecting my own boundaries and dignity?
