Today, I decided that I’m done having anorexia (I’ve been in a state of "quasi-recovery" for 10 years). From now on, I’m simply going to live my life the way people without anorexia do. This morning, I went to the bakery and bought some cake and a chocolate croissant. I’ve also made plans to go out for pizza with a friend, and I’ve picked out some delicious meals to shop for this week - things like pasta with cream sauce - dishes I’ve never actually cooked for myself before.

So, what else do people without anorexia do all day? I think anorexia even influences the clothes I choose to wear and the type of men I date. I feel like I first need to get to know who I am without the anorexia.

In what less-obvious areas of your life does your eating disorder have an impact?

English isn’t my native language, and I had this text translated; I hope it’s reasonably easy to read.

Hi guys, I'm just looking to share some thoughts I've recently had about extreme hunger and recovery. I wanted to put my thoughts into writing and see if anyone relates to what I've been going through + need some help understanding my body's signs.

I've been trying to eat more for the past month or two and started honouring my hunger only a day ago, but I already hit a wall: after about 2k calories in the morning and about noon, I got hit with a huge wave of nausea and my heart beating faster. I've read that nausea can be normal and a faster heart may be because of my body digesting food, but should I be really concerned or wait a bit and see if the pattern continues? I'm thinking of going to a medical professional anyway, but thought it'd be good to share here too in case anyone has experienced this.

I'm actually really glad there's so many others who share in the feelings that I'm going through right now and all of the posts I've seen help a lot in the confusing and conflicting thoughts I'm having, but it's still hard to push against the little (big) ED voice in my head. Any tips on how to quiet it down? Maybe some mantras that you've used for yourself?

Also, is there any food cravings that you were particularly ravenous for when starting your extreme hunger or all-in journey? Curious to hear what other people are craving. I was a huuuge fiend for chocolates and cookies, but now that those have made me sick, I really just want some yoghurt, beans, eggs or noodles. Even with a full stomach, I'm craving those things already.

The worst thing currently is the fact that mentally, I am so incredibly hungry and feel like getting up and making food, but I know that I won't be happy eating them because of how stuffed I am. Do you just eat even if you feel a block in your stomach or do you wait, try to distract yourself with something?

Thanks in advance for any replies :D

hi, idrk where to start with this but i’m gonna try and get everything off my chest. im 21m and have been suffering with anorexia for the past 8 months (i’ve not been to the doctors or anything yet but im currently uw). i’ve lost basically all my friends, my family are extremely worried about me and i ultimately don’t feel like myself anymore so i need help. ive seen recovery content online but im so new to all of this i really dont know what im doing or saying, so im sorry if im saying the wrong things.

so as my first step ive deleted all tracking apps and have taken my garmin off (doesn’t seem like much but this is a big thing for me). i’m really not sure what my next steps should be now, as im struggling to find much info for males in my situation online. ive also got an assessment for some sort of cbt therapy booked for early november which my mum suggested. my parents suggested a family meal which they have cooked, so tonight im going to try my best with that. it’s been so long since i ate anything which someone else has cooked.

any advice for me in general with getting started in my recovery would be greatly appreciated and if anyone has any questions about just my situation then please ask away.

Hi! For context, I am a 24F who is recovering from a recent relapse in anorexia. Over the past 6 months or so, I’ve progressed a lot in recovery, gained weight (although I still haven’t reached my set point I think), worked on the inner work through weekly therapy & reached a point where I’m no longer consumed by the thought of food 24/7 (although I wouldn’t say the mental hunger is gone at all). My period returned once (after not having it for 2+ years), after I went on a 2 weeks holiday where my food intake increased to double of what I usually eat as I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted (and ate out for all meals and snacks). However, my period hasn’t come since then.

I recently moved to a new country on my own, and have been keeping myself accountable to eat 3 meals and snacks in between everyday. Although I do feel proud of myself for staying on track with my eating and recovery, especially since I currently don’t have a therapist and most of my new course mates seem to skip meals or eat little, I am struggling with exhaustion. For example, if I do not have a snack between my meals, I almost feel like I am going to faint sometimes and it just feels like how I used to feel when I was underfueling myself and not eating all my meals in the past. Which is so frustrating, as my brain starts to tell me “what even is the point of eating all these meals everyday if you’re gonna end up feeling as tired and not energised as you would if you ate less”.

Has anyone else in recovery experienced feeling extremely tired and demotivated to do anything? All I want to do is stay at home and eat, and I am so tired of feeling like this. I can focus really well when I’m attending uni lectures, however, on the weekends I have to FORCE myself to get up when I have plans to meet friends and I’m almost dreading it sometimes because i know i will be absolutely tired during/afterwards. Any advice would really help!

TW: weight gain, anxiety around d*ath, hospitalization

Hi everyone, I’ve been in recovery for about six weeks now after experiencing a wake up call where I was hospitalized due to low blood sugar, and it forced me into taking my health seriously and taking care of my body.

even though i’m eating more, honoring my hunger cues and properly hydrating myself some days i’m just SO TIRED, i feel weak, shaky and just “off” .

some days im also completely fine, high energy and no issues.

i got my blood work done yesterday and all my levels are normal. (even the ones that were off during my hospitalization are back to normal). other than my free t4 which was low.

is it normal to be so tired and your body so exhausted during recovery?? i’m just getting so anxious from my previous hospitalization that somethings off

Recovering from an ed and when I wasn't eating back then I wasnt hungry now tho I eat three times a day and its baffling to me that I get hungry same time everyday morning lunch dinner im always hungry is that normal??? Im trying not to be mean to myself about it but its hard sometimes my mind goes damn really?? Again??

​

I am a 21 year old girl and I have always been on the heavier side. Growing up it of course led to me having some really disturbed views on my body and food. I won't get into details because no one needs to hear all that but it was just pretty standard disorder thinking and actions. It never got too bad to the level of someone interviening, although some of the reason might be that I was in a boarding school ages 13-16 so it was easier to hide shit.

The disorder behavior eased up every now and then and came back in waves. I had a couple of really good years where I learned to love myself more and more but the bad behaviors will always find me at some point.

Lately though I have been reflecting and I realized that the times where my disorder behaviors have flared up are directly correlated to times in my life that I have become more "adult". Like during puberty, that's just painful growing up, and then it got easier for a little and got way worse when I moved to live on my own at 18. And then I got better but now I have just started university and it's getting worse again.

I also have noticed that when I make a mistake my first initial thought is often about how surely everyone will understand because I am just a teenager. But I'm not. I'm an adult and I know better. Like a few weeks ago I smoked some weed and got way too high by accident, and when someone at the party got concerned about me and asked for my age, all I could think of was how much less embarrassing it would be if I was actually young enough for that. But I really have to start taking accountability for my actions because I'm an adult.

But I feel like me wanting to eat less to become small and fragile is connected to me not wanting to grow up to be seen as innocent and good. I just want someone to take care of me a little bit but also hate when people offer to help me with anything. And when I make a mistake I want to have the excuse of being a child. And I want to be small and protected but also not.

It's all pretty fucked up. I don't know what to do with this.

Hi All,

I have loved this community so much and it has helped me through recovery a lot. I have been in pretty much all-in recovery since start of August, with the occasional set backs (sometimes a week of restricting) etc… I am now struggling a lot because I have reached a normal bmi (I understand and know this scale is irrelevant).

However my mental food noise has gotten to an all time high. I will fully have any meal I want without restriction and one that I am craving and does include fats, protein, and carbs. I also let myself eat any snacks. I am struggling because I can’t even study without needing to eat or thinking about food. I am physically never hungry (except sometimes in morning when I wait) and I am always bloated by lunch after my breakfast and normally a snack in between.

I am just wondering if anyone has any stories/advice on how to navigate this. It has genuinely been so distressing as I feel I have been honouring all my hunger, but it’s almost as if the more I do the more I want to eat.

Just the ex hunger ever go away? I am 3 and a half months into recovery and it just feels like it’s never going away I need some motivation 😔. I also have had 2 recovery cycles.so it all has been confusing for me.

Hi all,

I posted a little while ago pulling myself out of a slip, well unfortunately I've been sent to a HLOC.

This two day experience has thus far been tumultuous to say the least, and as expected my mind is all over the place and my duration of stay is currently unconfirmed.

Anyone who has had experiences in these settings - how can I get the most out of it? I find my issues trying to creep in and disrupt the process which I'm FINALLY starting to acknowledge that little justifications in certain behaviours exponentially grow, resulting in further mental back pedals (which for the record I am actively fighting my damn hardest!)

I'm super lucky to have a great support system at home and the hospital is definitely providing what they can! I guess primarily I'm asking:

1. ⁠What made the process easier
   
2. ⁠Any strategies for tolerating the distress
   
3. ⁠How to take what you learnt (from a very clinical and structured setting) back to real world living!

I technically am not diagnosed with an eating disorder, but communities like this seem to be the only place where folks are experiencing similar things. I had some serious complications from medications that I'm on for other medical conditions that caused me to become malnourished and now I'm on a refeeding plan. I also have a lot of anxiety and OCD, lol.

Basically, I'm on feeding timers, subsisting off mostly liquids and slowly introducing more and more solid foods. It's been a week now since I was released from the hospital. At first, I felt like I had more energy than I have had in months. But now, throughout the day I feel like I've been anesthetized or something, like a wave of tired comes crashing over me and I conk out. Until my next timer goes off. Every. Twenty. Minutes. It's sort of maddening.

I have a lot of medical trauma and anxiety around the fatigue (I'm in therapy and looking for something better/stronger, meds are difficult for me because I am a bit medically complex), because it feels like I'm going backwards. I'm currently on medical leave, but I can't help but feel the stress of "what if I don't get better fast enough, what if I lose my job" yada yada. I hate how my body has deteriorated, I loved how strong it was. I was really fucking strong. I did martial arts and I was good at it, like doing cool spinning movie kicks and stuff. And now I get winded just walking around for 5 minutes. I feel like a baby.

The frustrating part is that I have always had a great relationship with food and my body (well, mostly despite the chronic illness). But these meds I'm on destroyed my appetite and made me nauseous all the time, and it just...it just snuck up on me. I didn't realize how little I was surviving on until it was too late. It makes me feel really, really stupid.

Anyways, I just feel like I don't have anyone around me that really gets what I'm going through. I'm really struggling with the fatigue and anxiety around this recovery process. I'm so worried that I'm not ever going to be "better."

(TW!! possible fatphobia)

Hello. I am little over 1 year into recovery, and while things have improved a TON in the last few months, i cant shake the feeling of grief over the life I had before anorexia.

Right before I developed the eating disorder, I was actually doing great; It was the first time in years I had felt happy. Not getting into too much detail, but I was in new environment and being percieved positively. Physically I was at my healthiest- I was eating good, never had food noise, ate out regularly without any guilt etc etc. I felt pretty for the first time in my life and i think my confidence increased proporionally, so I made tons of new friends.

The eating disorder developed sort of accidentally because I started skipping meals as I got busy with some exams, but it got bad very quick. I was very isolated for a year while struggling.

Anyway now that I am in recovery I feel so much sadness that things are just not how they used to be. I overshot by a lot and honestly now I am neutral about it most days. But I have seen a huge difference in how people treat me. I am constantly tired like there is this permanent brain fog I cant fix. Mentally I have not been doing well because of how traumatizing recovery was. I lost most of my friends during the ed and even recovery. I am so so grateful that I did it and that i am alive and well now, but I recovered sort of publically and it was humiliating.

I am no longer considered “pretty”, and as much as I tell myself that looks dont matter etc, my day to day says otherwise. I am autistic so I think the attractiveness covered my “awkwardness” and people were a lot more forgiving of my autistic traits. People no longer seek connections with me like they used to. I have even seen a decline in the opportunities I get academically. I am in a field where how you do socially matters a lot. I loved to act and got casted frequently for short films which lessed the burden of some financial issues, but nowadays I rarely get cast.

I have tried to let go of everything and still try to enjoy myself and go out and wear cute outfits but I just DONT feel good. I know that this might be partly because of internalized fatphobia, and I am working on resolving that, but every time I feel like I am making progress, something in my day to day reminds me that life WAS infact easier when I was thin. I tried therapy for a while (it was more trauma focused) but couldnt continue because of financial stuff.

I know things are getting better everyday at least physically as my weight is stable, theres no food noise, less bloat and puffiness, but mentally not so much. If anyone else further in recovery rn struggled with this I would really appreciate support and advice on how to deal with these feelings. And also cope with how fatphobic society is.

Also I understand if this post gets taken down or reported but I really need advice and this is the best place I have found so far. Everywhere else people tell me to suck it up because “thats just how life is” which is not helpful. I can barely go a day without crying at least once about how much I miss being healthy and normal.

For a decade it’s been quiet on the Ed front. Then 5 months ago I started focusing on health bc I’m getting older and losing muscle. It was going great and kind of made me feel even more confident that all the ED stuff was in the past.

And now for 2 weeks all of the disordered thoughts are just so loud. It’s getting to be constant. I’ve slipped into so many numbers and tracking and analyzing. Compensating hasn’t been happening but it seems very possible.

I have a therapist of many years but I don’t want to mention this. Idk how to quiet it all down and stay making good choices. I have goals I don’t want to abandon. I’m at a point where well intended friends also can’t seem to not comment on my body.

What are my options here to shrink this back down to size in my head??

I also see a somatic touch work practitioner and I high key think that broke my hunger and fullness cues last session.

hi.

ive been in recovery from my eating disorder since july 2025, but in that time have had a few relapses. my most recent one was august-september of this year, and during it, i developed rather severe chewing and spitting behaviours. the last few days in particular have been quite good in terms of challenging myself and getting back into the swing of recovery, but about an hour ago, i had a c/s episode that came out of nowhere.

for context, chewing and spitting for me isn’t just the odd bite; it’s always been grand hordes of food, almost always taking me an hour or more to get through, the biggest culprit being chocolate, as it was this time. it’s an extremely addictive behaviour, i’ve found; i’m making progress in other areas, but this seems to be something i keep going back to. the time between episodes has lengthened since going back into recovery- it’s gone from every other day, roughly, to around every two weeks- but moments like these are reminding me that it is still very much something i’m addicted to.

i’ve just sent my mum a text asking her to get the other members of the household to hide multipacks/ big packs of things such as chocolate and biscuits that they get from me, and for her to manage the ones i get for myself, as i do want to challenge these things and turn them into something i can enjoy without it turning into all of this- but other than that, does anyone have any advice as to how i can stop beyond just eating them every so often, or is that really the only thing to it? it’s incredibly tiring, but i’m also type one diabetic, which means that these episodes more often than not leave my blood sugars skyrocketing, which, as they often happen at night, can sometimes have a knock-on effect into the next day. especially with halloween and particularly christmas coming up, i don’t want my addiction to this affecting my family and their enjoyment of food around this season; i’ve already stolen their food before, and i’m desperate for it to stop.

thank you all in advance :))

hey all! hope those reading this are having a good day :)

i am nervous for this weekend because i have my family visiting me while i am in college. of course i am excited to spend time with them, but our plans obviously involve going out to eat for each meal (saturday and sunday) and a lot of unpredictability/spontaneity in our schedule. i know it will be a good challenge for myself, but i also dont want to take on too much where it becomes too overwhelming.

additionally, my family can sometimes be triggering with comments around food and are constantly hovering/monitoring around what/how much i ate.

any suggestions on how i can ease anxiety and still enjoy my time with them? thanks!

The past couple oft days/weeks I’ve noticed that I showed more old patterns and behaviors of Ana. Today it clicked that I can’t relapse again. It’s really hard because all I think about is food and calories. My socials are filled with pro-Ana things again. I tried eating more today but it’s so hard, I wasn’t hungry but I knew that I didn’t eat remotely enough calories. I didn’t have therapy for almost three weeks, so I couldn’t talk with anyone about this. Does someone have some advice how I could improve? I thought maybe writing up reansons to recover could help a little.

1. Never have to speak to another ED professional ever again

As title says.. I am starting to slip into relapse with just being high strung on stress and an overwhelming amount of things going on with my life. They are great things but seem to be mentally taking a toll on me (rehabbing house, MBA, high pressure work environment.)

I have found myself peeling away from food from being stressed and it has become an active issue where I am avoiding eating as a whole to just manage control over my day to day. The satisfaction I get with the avoidance is clear as day and the guilt I feel when I eat has started to get louder in my head. I am aware I am slipping up and I am scared to fall back into my cycle of counting and completely avoiding. I had the hardest time getting out of this god foresaken habit and it’s starting to be apparent it’s even easier to get back into it.

I am struggling eating and making an effort to be accountable without feeling guilt, anger and frustration with myself. The conflict of eating and avoiding is so exhausting and I am getting tired of wanting to keep fighting with myself because on one hand the avoidance feels great and awful and eating feels great and awful - so which is right. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Im 25 years old. I know moving back in with my parents at this old sucks but I moved 2 hours away from my family to move in with my bf of 2 years. My eating disorder has gotten so much worse these last few months that my health is insanely bad that I fear my life everyday now. I want to move back in with my parents for support and just to feel better about everything. My bf doesn’t understand the severity of my disorder at all so it’s super invalidating and hard to deal with basically on my own 2 hours away from any other support. Do you think it’s wrong or stupid ? How do I even tell him….

I’m starting my recovery journey and feel very lucky to have an amazing mom and understanding friends. ❤️ I’d like to talk to my friends and family about how they can support me in a way that’s actually helpful, including setting boundaries and avoiding triggering comments.

For those of you who’ve been through recovery, what kind of support from loved ones helped you the most? How did you communicate your needs and boundaries? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Hellooo,
I guess I’m not really looking for advice, I’m just looking for some support from people who might understand what I’m going through.

I’m currently at a point where I’m desperately trying to get help for my ED, but I feel like I keep hitting dead ends. I live in a country where public healthcare has very limited resources for eating disorders (there’s only 1 specialized clinic, but it only has around 20 beds, and the waiting list is 5–7 months long). I’ve also been to the ER, where they treated the immediate physical issues and just told me to find psychological help on my own. And honestly, I’m exhausted. It feels so unfair that you have to fight so hard to access treatment for an illness that literally makes it incredibly difficult to ask for help in the first place. What I wish I had right now is someone to hold my hand through this. Someone to help me eat when I can’t do it on my own, to sit with me through meals, to encourage me and keep me accountable when everything in my head is telling me not to eat. I feel like I need someone to practically spoon-feed me back to health. But since that kind of support isn’t available to me right now, I’m probably going to have to figure out how to do this at home, mostly ON MY OWN, AT HOME.

And that honestly scares me.

Just because of this, I struggle with this feeling that since I’ve never been hospitalized for my ED, I somehow haven’t earned the right to proper treatment. So when I’m trying to recover at home, I start questioning whether I even have a real problem or whether I’m somehow making it all up. Especially following other recovery stories (who are mainly from UK), where most have had inpatient treatment or hospitalization before continuing on their own. It weirdly gives me FOMO. Like I haven't really experienced the real ED journey. I rarely see people talking about what it’s like to recover at home because inpatient treatment simply isn’t accessible to them, or about how lonely and difficult that experience can be. I constantly feel like I have to prove my illness to my friends, to other people, and sometimes even to myself.

I don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of posting this. Maybe just to hear from people who have been in a similar situation. People who have struggled to access treatment, who have recovered or are trying to recover at home?

If anyone is reading this, thank you ❤️

I’m starting IP treatment soon and I don’t want to waste this opportunity but I’m finding it really hard to manage before going in. Has anyone got any advice on how to just hold things where I am until I get there?

hello, i am almost 18F and i cannot afford residential & the programs say they will not take me if i dont do res first. my parents told me this, and they said they do not want me to go to res, so please don't try to convince me as i am not the one in charge of the decision /nm

i have been struggling very badly with bulimia very single day, and i want to stop so badly yet i cannot. i am trying very hard to not restrict as i know that will only make it worse. to anyone who's every stopped, how have you done so? how can i change? how do i stop hating myself so much? i know it is a big ask, so please don't feel like you need to answer every single question. even just encouragement helps. u are all such lovely & strong people. i hope one day i will leave this sub because i no longer have an ed and therefore no longer need recovery advice because i am already recovered /pos