Okay don’t downvote, hear me out! I’m going as Sister Paxton from Heretic for Halloween and I’m wondering where I can grab a Book of Mormon to use as a prop for little to no cost without getting it through the official church.

When men return from a city bearing promises rather than goods, the road feels longer.

We departed Jerusalem with Ishmael’s household under our guidance, the gates closing behind us with a finality that offered no accommodation for reconsideration. The city resumed itself at once—lamps lit, voices raised, doors barred against night—as though our errand had been nothing more than an adjustment to its margins.

The company was larger now, and therefore more delicate. For a single household may quarrel and yet remain one body, but two households joined together resemble less a body than an agreement—one that must be renewed by tolerance, fatigue, and the absence of better options.

The road did its work quickly. Feet blistered. Water thinned. The sun gave instruction with its usual lack of pastoral concern. Consent spoken in a courtyard became another thing when carried across stony ground.

Ishmael, who had agreed in the city with a gravity we had respected, did not bear the road as his sons did. He sat down sooner when shade could be found. His daughters adjusted themselves around him without discussion. His wife watched him with the attention of one already counting what must soon be carried differently.

At first no one named this. Men do not easily narrate decline while they still hope to outwalk it. Water was offered. Pace was shortened for an hour, then recovered. Encouragement was given in that brisk tone by which the healthy try, without malice, to lend their strength to the failing.

It did not suffice. By the third day his breathing had shortened. By evening he no longer rose without help. The company stopped because it had to. Water was brought too late to matter much. He spoke once to his wife, once to one of his daughters, and afterward only with his eyes.

When Ishmael died, there was no violence in it. Only interruption. The women made the sounds women make when the future alters faster than language can receive it. His sons stood about him with the stunned uselessness of men whose strength has not been asked in the right form. And because we were in the wilderness and not among our fathers, there was no ancestral place prepared for him—only ground, tools, urgency, and the question of how long grief would be permitted to occupy the road.

We buried him there as decently as motion allowed. Stones were gathered. Earth was moved. His daughters looked on with the fixed attention of those trying to remember a place they know they will not see again. His wife asked no impossible thing. She did not ask for Jerusalem restored. She asked, only once, why obedience had brought her husband to die far from his kindred.

After this, the wish to return ceased to be impatience and became grief with direction.

Voices rose among Ishmael’s people—at first broken by mourning, then sharpened by fatigue.

“Let us return,” they said. “Our father is buried in a strange place.”

“Why should his daughters go farther from all that knew them?”

“Why should we follow further on the strength of another man’s vision, now that the man who consented for our household is gone?”

These were not wicked questions. They were human ones. We heard them. We answered some of them. And in our own weariness we judged their wish to return neither wicked nor surprising.

Then Nephi turned and rebuked us, not merely our proposal but our character. He spoke of hardness, of faithlessness, of ease desired over obedience. He spoke as though grief itself were in danger of becoming rebellion if indulged too long.

This last was insufferable. For there is no faster way to turn a weary man dangerous than to tell him his exhaustion is a sin, nor a mourning household disorderly because it cannot yet proceed in a proper spirit.

Wherefore we took him and bound him—not in calmness, but in that blind moment when argument has failed and bodies must speak.

We wished, at the least, to stop his speech and the movement of the company until morning gave everyone back a little proportion.

And Nephi, being bound, prayed.

And the cords were loosed.

Not by our hands.

Not by our repentance.

They were loosed as though the universe itself had rendered a verdict, having first declined to hear testimony.

Now when a miracle occurs in the midst of a quarrel, the quarrel doth not end there. Only its proportions change.

Some among Ishmael’s household cried out in fear. Some in reverence. Some said nothing, which is often the safest passage through wonder.

And then the daughters of Ishmael—those least consulted and most affected—did the remarkable thing.

They pleaded with us.

“Enough,” they said. “We are already leaving one world. Must we also leave each other?”

And we heard them.

Wherefore we softened.

And Nephi forgave.

Readily.

Thus ended that passage of the journey: with a grave behind us, cords loosed, authority confirmed, and a family’s mourning entered into the record under the heading of obedience.

New to the Lakes District area of BC. Heavy Mormon presence here, wondering if anyone can give me any info on the Mormon activity in this area? I know that the Mos here are very interconnected and I feel they have a lot of control over the area, I work with quite a few also. I'm not ex-mo Just looking for info so I can be aware during my time in this town. Thanks eh🍁

I’m completely, irrevocably, & irrecoverably Ex-Mormon. I did attend the Provo Gulag for a few semesters back in the day before I transferred out (a mutual agreement with HCO and others, but that’s another story), yet 40+ years later, I’m still a BYU Football fan. I date back to the Gifford Nielsen/Mark Wilson era.

In my very amateur opinion, Kalani Sitake is a great “players” coach, Bear Bachmeier is outrageously fun to watch, and the defense is arguably the best they’ve fielded in quite awhile.

Anyway, all that being said, am I the only one who thinks the Cougs - as well as they are playing - are just a “wee bit” overrated at #2 this week? That’s an extremely optimistic ranking, IMO. Change my mind…😁

Daniel O. McClellan Why I Tithe Because some folks in my audience have reached out in good faith to express concerns and ask for clarification, I thought I’d share a bit about my decision to tithe. I don’t fault anyone for having a negative reaction to learning that I pay tithing to an institution that still harms marginalized, minoritized, and oppressed groups in a variety of ways, and I don’t think it’s a good use of my time to try to talk people out of feelings like that. But for anyone who would be interested in an explanation, there’s actually been quite a lengthy and ongoing wrestle on my part that has gone on behind the scenes of my and my family’s decision to pay tithing. I want to share a bit of that, not because I am trying to convince anyone that my decision is objectively correct, or ethically superior, or that anyone else’s thoughts or feelings on the matter are wrong or invalid or at all a misjudgment, but because I find that I agree with the observations that have recently been made to me in good faith regarding concerns with where people’s support is going and I always want to try to model honest and transparent engagement with the public.

Now, a lot of this is nobody’s business but my family’s, and this is a big reason I’ve never publicly addressed this before. I’ve been happy to be open and honest when people have asked me in person about it in the past, but I haven’t felt like this is something that needed to be publicly addressed, in no small part because I’m not the only one involved in this decision. My family increasingly values our privacy, and we are having to work harder every day to protect it as my channel grows and as—it seems—a small minority of people feel more and more like they have a right to my and my family’s personal and private lives. Having said that, I don’t think it’s out of bounds to expect me to be above board in broad terms about direct financial support of my work funding harmful institutions. Because of that, I want to start by apologizing for not being more cognizant of my responsibility in that regard.

I’ve gotten a number of messages in the past from people who have told me they support my work in principle, but know that to be an active member in good standing almost certainly means I am paying tithing, so they cannot purchase an online class of mine, or they can’t buy my book, or they can’t even contribute to the views my content gets on a specific platform because they will not fund, directly or indirectly, anti-LGBTQIA+ institutions. That’s totally fair and I have never had any complaints about that. I’m well aware of the debates that have been ongoing for years about the ethics of paying tithing to the LDS Church or even remaining a member of any standing, and I know there are thoughtful, insightful, and well-meaning folks on all sides of those debates. I’m certainly not going to fault or argue with anyone who is protecting their own peace or trying to better live up to their own moral intuitions by refusing to financially support the Church, by leaving, or even by advocating for others leaving. There are, no doubt, many other reasons that I’m also not aware of or am just not thinking of at the moment.

I grew up in a family that frequently went through financial struggles and instability, and I can recall a particularly acute period of financial stress after I graduated from high school and was living at home. My mom was a member of the Church at the time, and because of that, our family of seven had access to the Bishop’s Storehouse, meaning I got to know a lot of their food products intimately. I came to know and love their salsa and their granola cereal, and to tolerate or hate most of the rest of the stuff my mom would bring home. But when the need was there, the Church fed our struggling family. Tithing is one of the two main sources of funding for that program. I am not paying tithing because I think I need to pay the Church back, of course, but I have known many individuals and families over the years who—like my own family—have been able to keep adequate food on their tables because of the Bishop’s Storehouse, including members of marginalized and vulnerable groups, and I think that is a valuable program that merits support.

Also, for almost exactly ten years, I worked full-time as a scripture translation supervisor for the LDS Church, which was a job that sent me all over the world to supervise, to train, to employ, and to fellowship translators and reviewers responsible for translation projects in many different languages. I was well aware of and quite critical of the cultural imperialism that is so common to scripture translation and missionary work, much to the chagrin of some of my colleagues, but in addition to many other efforts, I made sure we had a copy of Lamin Sanneh’s Translating the Message in our translation library and quoted from it regularly in trainings and at headquarters. Other colleagues shared many of my concerns and also went out of their way to advocate for change and improvement to the degree they were able within the scope of their influence. I saw where and to whom the tithing dollars I had stewardship over went. I sat around those folks’ kitchen tables or dirt floors in far-flung parts of the world late into the night and got to know them and their communities and the things the Church was doing that influenced them for good and for bad on the local, national, and global level. I have been surprised how many initiatives the Church is involved in in developing nations around the world. Then I came back home and did what I could to advocate for improvements to a wide variety of the programs funded by tithing and by other donations that operate all over the world. I couldn’t change much as one person, but others are still carrying that torch, and I still keep in touch with some of those folks I worked with around the world as well as at Church headquarters. I traveled to dozens of countries as a part of that job and recruited or hired hundreds of people to help us with our projects, and one of the reasons I tithe is because I shook the hands of, looked into the eyes of, and shared meals with so many of the people to whom many of those dollars go, and I want to contribute to helping them to continue to thrive.

That job allowed me to move my small family out of my in-laws’ house and into a home we had built for us over a decade ago that we still live in today. In addition to giving my family a home, those tithing dollars also funded my PhD (through a couple different channels). I know a number of people who are trying to do the same thing right now for themselves and their families in part-time, in contingent, and in full-time jobs for the Church all around the world, and I tithe in part because I want them to succeed the same way that job helped me and my family succeed.

This doesn’t remotely mean I am blind or in any way indifferent to the harm that the Church has done and continues to do with those dollars, and I have spoken out against that repeatedly and consistently in public and private for over 20 years now, including during my two campaigns for the Utah state legislature as a Democrat in my deep red corner of Salt Lake County in 2018 and 2020 (while I was employed by the Church and even teaching an adjunct religion class at BYU). I particularly abhor the more recent contributions and messaging the Church has made to oppose a citizen-led ballot measure aimed at legislating reproductive freedom in Idaho. The Church is far from a perfect institution, and I hope the work that many people around the world are doing to influence the Church from the inside and the outside toward minimizing harm and maximizing access to power and resources for vulnerable and underprivileged groups becomes more successful, whether or not I am contributing to it.

Next, there are all different kinds of ways people can become entangled with the Church and its members, networks, institutions, and programs that are not visible or even relatable to folks in different corners of the internet. The same is true of a variety of different organizations and institutions that many of us patronize or engage to one degree or another every day that contribute to harm, including Google, AT&T, Amazon, Chevron, NBC, and many others. There are a wide variety of circumstances that may make it incredibly difficult for individuals and families to avoid or to sever such entanglements. There are groups that provide resources and guidance for many of those folks, and that’s something I greatly appreciate, but some folks still may be in situations where leaving the country may be less of a sacrifice than leaving the Church. I’m not suggesting those are necessarily my circumstances, but what I’m trying to stress here is that people can be in all different kinds of circumstances that influence how they curate those entanglements, and I tend to find greater value in prioritizing harm reduction rather than binary purity tests for folks whose circumstances we just don’t know. The fact that someone chooses to continue to be an active participant in the Church is neither an endorsement of everything the Church does nor an indication they have not wrestled long and hard between the implications of those entanglements and what will be best for them and their families in their particular circumstances. If anyone thinks I have been flippant or dismissive of these concerns, or that I haven’t long given them—and continue to give them—long and serious thought, they don’t really know much about me at all.

The last thing I want to share has to do with my broader decision to remain an active member of the Church. The Church’s anti-LGBTQIA+ agenda has bothered me for more than 20 years, and in that time, I’ve tried my best to get better informed, to raise objections, and to spread awareness. This has brought me into direct personal contact with a wide variety of members, former members, and non-members who are queer, who are parents of queer kids and adults (living and dead), and who are LGBTQIA+ activists, artists, politicians, content creators, filmmakers, etc. I’ve been humbled by the courage, the strength, the thoughtfulness, and the compassion of these folks who have to live in a world they experience in a way that I never will. I’ve also been amazed by the diversity of their experiences and their ideas for the future. While I frequently hear former members talk about their own need to leave the Church for their safety, their peace of mind, or any one of a number of other reasons, I’ve been surprised by how many current members have told me they intend to stay not only because it is just as much their community as anyone else’s and they want to try to effect whatever change they are able to from the inside, but also because they want to provide safe spaces for others, and particularly queer youth, whether closeted or otherwise, who do not have an alternative community or as much agency regarding their activity in the Church.

I didn’t feel like that was my role for a long time, but I wanted to do my best to ensure I never made anyone else feel like I was not a safe person. As I have grown more outspoken within church settings about the harm facilitated by the Church, I’ve become aware of some folks around me who think of me as someone who will hold space for them. As one example, almost five years ago, after I started teaching Sunday school during the Old Testament year, I noticed a shift in who was attending the class. People I frequently didn’t see at church at all would be in my class (and some folks who were usually in class would now frequently have other places to be). I mentioned it to someone at one point, and they told me they were folks who normally didn’t feel comfortable or even safe in the classroom who wanted to attend on the days I was teaching and knew that it would be a safe space for them. I think about that from time to time, as well as a couple instances where folks have confided in me that I’ve helped them to overcome some their own prejudices. These are obviously not things I can share without coming across as having some kind of savior complex, and no doubt many are convinced that’s precisely my rhetorical goal, but the point really is to share experiences that I’ve had that lead me to feel like my activity and even my former employment in the Church have made things better for some of the people around me whose names and faces I know who are in the crosshairs of the Church’s oppressive heteronormativity and misogyny. That has been a factor in my decision to pay tithing: knowing that I can utilize my presence in the Church and my growing platform for the benefit of those inside and outside the institution.

Obviously, these considerations aren’t going to change how many people feel about my participation in the Church and my decision to tithe, and obviously there will be many for whom no circumstances could justify contributing to an organization like the LDS Church. Those concerns are certainly valid, and I don’t want to give the impression that I imagine my reasoning is above scrutiny or overrules anyone else’s experiences. I’m explaining those parts of my circumstances that I am willing to make public that are factors in my ongoing negotiation between my activity in the Church and my concerns for the wellbeing of vulnerable and underprivileged folks in my community and elsewhere in the world. Because tithing is an ongoing practice, so too will that process of negotiation be, and I don’t know what the outcome will be the next time around, though I can say for certain the concerns that have been expressed to me will continue to have a seat at the table alongside my own related concerns.

I will also continue—as a result of what my platform has afforded me—to contribute to those causes and movements that support vulnerable and underprivileged individuals on the local, national, and global level. Again, that obviously doesn’t excuse or cancel out harm done by the Church, but hopefully it can help folks understand a little better what goes into the calculus of my decision to tithe. As usual, I know there are many people out there with much more experience and knowledge than me on these issues, and I hope they will feel free to correct my mistakes or nuance or add to whatever is inadequately or awkwardly expressed here.

New 2 Burns Lake BC very heavy Mormon presence, wondering if anyone can give me any info on LDS activity in this area? I know that the Mos here are very interconnected and I feel they have a lot of control over the area, I work with quite a few also. I'm not ex-mo Just looking 4 info so I can be aware during my time in this town. Thanks eh🍁

Fresh off their win against Notre Dame and with the highest ranking since 1984, BYU football fans have got to be feeling pretty good right about now. But bad news in the 1000+ calorie cookie market may throw cold water on their high spirits. Crumbl Cookies is closing 57 stores nationally as sales of their (admittedly delicious) half-baked diabetes makers plummet 70%. Now, one might think, "cookies have very little to do with football." And most of the time, they'd be right. But it was the Crumbl owner who convinced BYU football coach Kalani Sitake to stay at BYU instead of moving to a more lucrative coaching position at Penn. And by "convinced" I mean "bought with a massive financial commitment to outbid the Nittany Lions' offer." But with Crumbl in dire financial situation, will its owner have the resources (or desire) to keep that commitment? Or will he decide that his money is better spent keeping his company from going under? And if so, will Sitake start shopping his talents elsewhere after what is looking to be his best season ever, in an echo of Utah's Urban Meyer's abandonment of the Utes?

My husband and I left the church at the beginning of this year and since then have rapidly deconstructed religion and God/Christianity. We are now both agnostics and are raising our children (elementary school aged) with I guess you would call an agnostic worldview. Where we don't really believe in the God of the scriptures but don't 100% deny that there might be some higher power of some kind out there.

Anyway, something weighing heavily on me is how we can create new traditions and re-frame Christmas in a way that makes it about more than Santa and presents and consumerism, but without the Jesus story. Up until now, we have always set out nativities, read scriptures about Jesus and sang Christmas hymns every night in December as part of our celebration. We used to have the ward Christmas dinner, meeting at church for hymns and hot chocolate, the cookie exchange, etc . Now that we won't be doing those things, I'm not sure where to start for making Christmas meaningful.

What are your favorite non-religious Christmas traditions? What do you do to create meaning in a season without focusing on God?

Some things we already do:

-Go to a local farm Christmas village (although I guess we won't be watching the live nativity there anymore)

-Bake a bunch of cookies and deliver them to neighbors and friends

-Go to a local Christmas parade

-make the same food on Christmas eve every year

-have a Christmas themed breakfast

-watch Christmas movies

-visit family

-play games

-drive around to see the lights

I guess what I'm really missing is a sense of purpose and a narrative or story behind it all. I don't want Christianity to be a part of it anymore, but I miss the aspects of having a story and a theme and a narrative to center everything around if that makes any sense. I don't want our holiday celebration to just feel hollow and all about buying stuff. In some ways I miss the places that religion filled in my life, but because I think it is true but that comfortable familiarity and coziness that it brings to feel you're a part of something collectively. I just don't know how to make sense of Christmas now. I feel like I've lost a chunk of what made Christmas feel special to me, but I'm not in a place where I want to talk about the nativity story and reframe it as a myth or a parable. I still admire many of the supposed teachings of Jesus and think they're good, but don't really want him to be the center of our celebration anymore. I know we can always add in more crafts or more outings but I guess they just don't fill the gap that I'm looking to fill.

i found this in my car today, but i have no idea how long it couldve been there. i live in a mormon household but ive been out for coming up on 2 years. i leave my car locked and windows shut, and it was inside the car door. my only guess is i couldve left my car unlocked and while it was in my driveway someone opened the door and placed that there. would the missionaries do this kinda crazy car break in thing or would it be someone else? really confusing and creepy thing to find in your car after school considering i leave everything locked. any guesses?

We're at a posh nordic spa that is a part of our gym"sembership. We're gathered in the heated sauna with 10 other men a women of all sizes and shapes. In walks the near completely covered couple. Her arms are covering her chest, her top is more like a tank top vs a suit, he is wearing a polyester shirt with an SUU logo on it and baggy swim trunks (we're over 1000 miles from UT) everything about them screamed that they were Mormons who felt super ashamed of their bodies . The awkwardness was so palpable.

I’m visiting my TBM parents soon, and a point of friction has repeatedly come up between us.

I’m queer.
I was sexually assaulted once or twice when I was a young teen, went to therapy, and have long since processed and recovered (it sucked, but it didn’t fuck me up that badly all things considered)

Because of this, my parents undermine my autonomy and personal identity by claiming I’m queer BECAUSE of what I went through.

They‘ve insinuated I hate men…. I’m a gay transmasc guy…… why tf would I hate men and then want to transition to be one, while in a relationship with a man?

It doesn’t matter how many times I explain that’s now how it works, or that I don’t like having a natural human experience being pathologized…

They keep going back to this idea that I’m still a traumatized child, and that’s why I am the way I am.

I’m fucking 25. I’ve been out as trans for over a decade, I have medically transitioned, and they still refuse to take me seriously.

It drives me up the wall. Not necessarily because I care what they think, but because it confuses the hell out of everyone else

To strangers, my parents look fucking nuts calling me a she. I have a beard and am overall quite masculine, I’ve passed as a man for around 8+ years now

People who know us look to my parents as an example of how to refer to me…. Figuring that since I haven’t cut contact, I must be perfectly fine with being misgendered. So it causes people to think it’s ok to call me a she.

I’ve asked if there was any doctrinal reason they still feel the need to misgender me

My mom said no, and that she’d pray about it.

Got back to me the next day like “yeah sorry it’s still in conflict with my faith to use your pronouns” ????

I know that there’s nothing I can do or say to convince them to accept me, but I’m fucking exhausted. It’s not safe for me to be outed as trans by my parents constantly in the current political climate.

Is there any way I can convince them to knock their bs off? Or am I just doomed to live with this

Hello everyone! I’m a 25F and identify as a non denominational Christian. Not too long ago I met some nice sister missionaries due to not realizing this Christian group online was associated with the LDS church. Anyways, I ended up really really liking them and because we had this thing to do together that didn’t really have anything to do with faith, I feel like we actually became friends and I’m still on their email lists. We talk regularly (well.. weekly if possible) and I sent one of them gifts for her birthday this past week.

Here is where I need insight. I love those girls so much and I love being like a big sister to them but I can’t ignore this creeping thought that maybe I’m just sort of a failure or less than in their eyes because I’m not LDS myself. Like do they even actually like me as a person or is it all a carefully crafted facade? I’m preparing myself for our friendship to just be circumstantial but it would be hurtful if that were true. Lately, I’ve had an odd fascination with the LDS faith because of how different it is to mainstream Christianity so that by unpacking it, I begin to understand myself more. I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family, a rough past, no father figure, and my family is quite secular. I am the only believer in my family, I attend church alone and my parents and sister are both gay. That alone gets me some unsavory reactions from other Christians so I’m not sure how they feel about me due to that as well. Could it be possibly they want me to convert? I’m not actively trying to convert but seeing how wonderful and pure their families seem in comparison to mine, I’ve been tempted to join because even being in proximity to a family like theirs feels amazing.

I’m sure the answer is no, but should I convert? Basically I’m asking someone to take off my rose colored glasses because I’m struggling to do it myself. I’m not necessarily trying to convert them either, I just want to help them out since I know being on a mission is so difficult and being a woman in the church comes with a lot of misogynistic expectations to fulfill. I’ve helped them get essentials on their P days and got them things such as umbrellas and fans to bear the brutal heat where I live. I want them to know that someone outside of their church gives a crap about them.

I know this is such a personal post but I’m asking for reassurance for something I’ve been internally struggling with for a long time. I’m tempted to convert because these girls seem so happy and I’m really struggling in my life right now. I’m functionally unemployed, can’t land an entry level job in my field, and am failing pretty hard at dating. I’m just looking for purpose and joy and it’s hard to not be attracted to it even if it’s all an illusion.

EDIT: I want to thank all the wonderful and kind souls here who took the time to reply to me and give me their honest feedback. Thank you for reorienting me and helping me follow my intuition instead of my desire to be accepted. I want to apologize if me being honest with any of my feelings and interest in the church rubbed anyone the wrong way. In no way did I mean to minimize the damage the LDS church is responsible for not only on a large scale but on an individualistic one as well. It is clear to me that the damaging messaging from the church weighs heavily on those in this subreddit and that deconstructing takes a lot of time. I am sincerely wishing each and every one of you healing and peace in your lives.

I have recently stepped away from the church and while it has been very relieving and great for me. I have felt more lonely and spending a lot more time alone. I am a younger single adult for context.

Does anyone have advice on how to find new friends and community? Any stories or suggestions would be very appreciated.

The church creates more addicts than it helps.

The church causes more suicides than it prevents,

the church breaks apart more families than it keeps together.

I am currently a service missionary. 3.5 months out of 18. I hate it here. I desperate need of advice from people with a different perspective.
I withdrew my applications to all the colleges I applied to (and got into) because I wanted to serve a mission. I spent all my savings on a car that my mom ended up putting in her name, not mine.

I got called to be a service missionary and live with my parents for 18 MORE months and be completely financially dependent on them.
My dad says I'm spending too much money on doctors appointments (and i just need to read the scriptures more to stop my panic attacks) and I wish I could have a job so he wouldn't complain so much about it.

I honestly love some of the core principles of the church. I hate the culture and I honestly have been feeling pretty pessimistic about the future because my girlfriend (from before my mission) and i want to get married and the only thing holding me back is the church. I've seen the way the church has changed lives, both for better and for worse. But the things I love about the church, I'm realizing I could find somewhere else, too.

I grew up in the church and BIC.
I lived out of utah till I was 10, so I didn't have the whole culture stuffed down my throat from infancy. I hate Utah culture and i'm doing everything I can do move out of state and never come back once I finish my service mission.

I went to catholic school for 2 years (8th and 9th) and had a great experience. I'm not catholic and wouldn't practice it, but it gave me some good perspective on other churches outside my own. I don't have to just go to the only church i've been exposed to my whole life.

I'm also queer. I'm bi with a very strong preference for women and i'm genderqueer enough that I strongly dislike when straight men like me or flirt with me. When I came out to my mom in 7th grade, she told me it was okay as long as I married a man. Both my parents are very openly transphobic.
I hated the church for a lot of 7th and 8th grade and didn't attend very often, but we moved (and switched wards/stakes) summer after 8th grade and started going to that ward and liked it a lot better, the leaders were nicer and more inclusive, and there were multiple queer girls around my age in the ward.

I love the temple, but it very much is the weird kind of ritualistic that can be off putting. I also know that any one man can click a button and take away my "worthiness" at any point because of their views on my queerness or other things about me.

I guess my point here is to say- should I finish out my mission even though I'll still be in Utah if I stop? anytime I try to be honest with my bishop or SP they tell me it's a temporary trial and that I'm doing my best and my testimony can help me through it blah blah blah. My girlfriend (from before my mission) is still in high school since she's a year younger than me so it's not like we'd be able to run off into the sunset together or whatever. My grandparents that i was planning on living with during college are very much heavily in the church and i'm worried they'd completely reject me and my girlfriend from living with them because I left the church or ended my mission early.

Genuinely Im so conflicted in so many directions and would just love some validation honestly

When I attend sacrament meeting, I sit next to my wife and I have my arm around her almost the entire time. I honestly love touching my wife and being near her. I've noticed as I look around the chapel that basically zero other couples are touching each other, even if they're sitting together. Its honestly pretty jarring and I need someone to explain this to me as I do not understand.

35% of Mormons see empathy as a danger that can lead society away from God." https://religionnews.com/2026/10/20/an-empathy-gap-divides-americans-ahead-of-the-midterms-say-prri-report/

I often hear people say that, doctrinally, you aren't supposed to tell anyone. But I'm curious, how explicit is telling someone? For example, if someone says "I named my dog after my new name", is it technically breaking the rule, or are you safe since you'd have to know the person's household to know the dog's name and thus the person's new name?

I am a widow. Remarried almost 2 years ago. Husband and I left the church a year ago.

His parents and my late husbands family do not know we've left. His siblings probably suspect. We have not come out directly and told people, we dont feel the need to.

I have a strong suspicion that when they find out, I will be blamed for us leaving. Im not used to being the bad guy or the black sheep. I also know that if we try to explain why we left, it will be dismissed (it is a specific and unusual situation).

Im not prepared for the fallout. How do I toughen up and not care?

Tune in tonight to the Mormon Newscast, Monday, October 19 at 6 PM MT.

Is a massive data center being built over a significant piece of Mormon history? Tonight on The Mormon Newscast, we're looking at the proposed development at Arthur Plantation in Missouri, a site connected to Zion's Camp and the discovery of the bones Joseph Smith reportedly identified as belonging to Zelph, a "white Lamanite" warrior.

What happens when modern development collides with Mormonism's historical claims? And what does this project tell us about how the church values and preserves its own history?

Also on tonight's Newscast:

BYU Football Chaos: A dramatic showdown with Notre Dame brings religious controversy, Pat McAfee reading the Book of Mormon, a quarterback with a grudge, and questionable officiating.

Racist Book of Mormon Lawsuit: A legal controversy involving the Book of Mormon and allegations of racism.

BYU Medical School Takes Major Steps Forward: New developments in the church's ambitious medical education plans.

Julie Hanks on Soft White Underbelly: Our friend Dr. Julie Hanks shares her Mormon experience with a massive new audience, sparking pushback from faithful LDS commentators.

Two Missionary Deaths: Tragic news involving two Latter-day Saint missionaries.

Half a Million New Converts? LDS leaders anticipate potentially record-breaking convert baptisms in 2026. But what about retention?

The Evangelical/LDS Trad Wife Trap: Exploring the cultural and religious expectations surrounding women, marriage, and traditional gender roles.

Priest Killed by Falling Cross: A tragic accident in Ecuador raises interesting questions about religious symbolism and whether crosses might eventually appear inside Mormon chapels.

Join us as we examine the news, challenge assumptions, and explore what's happening in the world of Mormonism, with the context, critical thinking, and occasional humor you've come to expect.

I've thought about this a few times over the years. In the Mormon Fanfic BOM, the "evil" Zoramites go to a high wooden stand called a Rameumptom and give the same repetitive prayer about how they are blessed of god and the chosen people, etc. Its all about the evilness of pride and going through the motions etc.

How does the church not see the modern Rameumptoms in the church?

General Conference which is basically the same handful of topics just recycled year after year and all about the Mormons being the only ones with the truth and being the chosen people.

The temple being shoved in everyone's face wherever they go like we're better than everyone else but we really just do the exact same ceremony over and over again until everyone is bored out of their minds.

Honestly, even fast and testimony meeting feels a bit of the same where its either "I had such an amazing experience because I'm so faithful" or "My trauma is worse than yours so I'm going to be blessed."

The overbearing level of pridefulness is honestly disgusting in the church. I'm sure there are many more examples in the church, so feel free to give me some I haven't come up with yet.

DISLCAIMER that i am not saying that them doing their calling and asking 12 year olds about their sex life and shit is good. Please don't assume I'm saying that.

I remember when I was super mormon, really liking my bishop. he was a really sweet older man and he gave out candy and genuinely seemed like such a nice guy, and now that I'm out and I don't instinctively trust bishops anymore I'm starting to wonder how much of that was real and how much of it was culty "the bishop is someone you should like" stuff getting in my head. I'm having a hard time fully coming to terms with the fact that some of the things he did might have been bad or malicious and its hard since he was always so kind to me. I like to think he was genuinely just a good person in the wrong path in life who ended up in a cult, but idk. Is that even possible, being a bishop for years, without an inkling of how fucked up things are??

Just saw this:

Please do not patronize the PCC...the Mormon Church has co-opted the Culture and are profiting from it. They present a Disneyesque version of the culture and whitewash so much of the history. Can't support that at all. This is my opinion and that of the many kanaka I know. Do you realize the way the LDS church got a foothold in Hawaii was by telling the native Hawaiians they were descendants of one of the Lost Tribes of Isreal. It was a vision that one of the missionaries, George Q. Cannon, had in Lahaina. Cannon’s vision was that Polynesians were one of the Lost Tribes of Israel and so Mormon missionaries “had an obligation to return the gospel of Christ,”.