TLDR:

My boyfriend's ex-wife keeps asking me to meet her in person and eventually to do birthdays and holidays together as one big family. My boyfriend has said no thank you. Their divorce decree, requires "a meeting" between the new partner and the parent before meeting the kids. We did this over a 30 minute phone call. But she wants to meet me in person. I don't want a friendship with her, but I want to handle this with without making co-parenting harder for them. What's the best way to handle it?

I'm not trying to decide who's right or wrong. I'm looking for the best way to handle this with maturity and respect, without hurting anyone.

Background:

My boyfriend and his ex were married 14 years and divorced a little over a year ago. They have two elementary school kids and 2yo. They both have new partners now.

Their divorce decree sets benchmarks for new partners, and both parents are held to them. At four and a half months, a new partner does a background check and meets the other parent before meeting the kids, and at six months overnights are allowed. The wording just says "a meeting," with no format or length specified. It seems like there wasn't much thought put into the details of how this was supposed to happen. She notified my partner that she had a new boyfriend a few months prior but all my boyfriend got from her was a phone call asking if he wanted to talk to the new partner right now on the phone, he couldn't, so she let him meet the kids anyway. So we really didn't know how it all was supposed to go.

I don't have any problems with the woman. I don't know her. I don't really care about their past relationship and dont want to be friends with her or integrate into what she's doing. Id like to keep my distance because this person is an antagonist to someone I love (so he says) and his family (so they say) and whatever she has going on or did is just none of my business. I don't want to get involved with them at all. I think it cuts down on drama. It seems like control issues played a major part in what broke them up. And I can "feel" that from what happened next....

I did the background check and she was notified that he had a partner that wanted to meet the kids. She responded with wanting to meet me in person but I really wasn't interested in that. I told my boyfriend I would be fine with a video call but preferred a phone call. He told her we would call her but she pushed back for an in person meeting quite a bit but then gave in.

My boyfriend called her from his phone on speaker phone. She picked up and asked us to call her back in 10 minutes because she was in a meeting. When we finally got on the call, she expressed again how she wanted to meet in person but would like us all to get together at her house for events with the kids and wanted me to go to her kids' practices and performances. Most of the time was spent talking about her boyfriend and his kids - what they like to do together with my boyfriend's kids, what their evenings were like together; and then a with few questions about me and a description of each of her children. It left me unsure it was really about ascertaining the kids' safety or a way to stick it to her ex. She invited me to one of the children's birthday parties at her house. (I ultimately told my partner I didn't want to go because I hadn't met the kids yet) But I assured her her kids were safe with me and her children's stability and well being were at the forefront of my mind and actions. I met the children about a month later. They're great. I want to take things slow because they've had a lot of change n their lives. We're 7 months in but I still don't spend the night. I just want to let things unravel naturally.

What's Happening:

This was two months ago, and she has repeatedly asked him to meet me in person. My boyfriend has declined on both our behalves. She even joins the children's video calls if she hears them saying hello to me, to see me and talk to me. When she calls them when they're at his house, she'll ask if I'm there. It's weird. He told her the decree only requires a meeting and the call satisfied it, and she wasn't happy with that. She asked if he was the one saying no to the meeting or me and he said we both think it's weird she keeps asking. He said we don't owe her an explanation, we did what the decree required and he'll shield me from whatever she tries to do, if anything. Neither of us really want to deal with her.

She's also asked for all of us to join her in on Halloween and Thanksgiving. These dates are his time - the kids are with him. She has no family in the state. He declined. Now she has expressed that co-parenting has become harder and she feels hostility from him. I wonder if part of that is that he's now saying no to things he used to agree to.

QUESTIONS:

Is she justified in asking for this? Are my boundaries staining their relationship?

How do we respond to this? Should we ignore her or give her a simple explanation so she'll leave us alone (although he thinks it'll make it worse)

My partner of 25 years and I separated 10 months ago we have a 12 a 7 and a 6 year old boys .we always agreed if we split we would never introduce a new partner for around 6 months .im m50 she is f43

My ex met a man and went on first date Thursday fir dinner the next day around lunch time went to his house and stayed till Saturday night .Then Sunday she had him over to meet my kids I’m shocked as this was also my time to see them .He was then there again Monday and Wednesday it’s now Saturday and he is with them all for my
Sons birthday I asked when I can see son for bday she said well let you know when we decide What we are doing .im lost for words I told my ex this is way to quick if yiu want to see the guy no problem i don’t care go forth weekend or whenever just let me know and ill look after the boys I can’t promise I can every time you want yo see the guy but I will most times as this is weird and not good for the kids opinions please 🙏

Hello all.

TLDR: should I allow ex spouse to come to Halloween if they won’t respect boundary of basic decency?

I’m struggling to figure out what to do about Halloween which falls on my night this year. We’ve typically always allowed the other parent to come on whosever night it falls on. Ex-spouse and I have no legal agreement, but have both, mostly, adhered to a good-faith arrangement with clear schedules.

But things have been rocky for the last few months, due to a summer argument. Without going into too much detail about it that conflict, the current situation is that they will not look at or speak to me at dropoff or pickup and is generally very unpredictable and problematic (ie telling child about said conflict, not responding to emails or questions regarding child).

My concern is that they will bring this energy to Halloween night and not speak to or acknowledge my existence (and which needs to be done for bits of coordination like who’s going up with child to the houses, taking turns, leading the way, helping child with outfit and so on). I mean we have to speak at some point, not small talk or anything, but my thinking is that if they refuse any interaction whatsoever with me my kid will 100% notice and it will hurt.

My terms: I’ve asked them to acknowledge that they will be civil and respond to necessary questions about the night only involving our child, and to do with politeness. I’ve suggested that if they don’t want to do that, they shouldn’t come.

Question #1: Is this fair? Like I said we have no legal agreement and if they are going to be disrespectful I don’t see why I should share the evening, but I also don’t want my child to be without the other parent, BUT I also don’t want child to see any drama if it ensues.

Question #2: if they don’t answer should I tell them they can’t come? I’m worried they’ve disregarded my boundaries and will choose to show up and continue to act shitty, create drama and ruin child’s Halloween. I don’t think I can “take it” and remain calm if they act with disrespect on the most basic human level.

I am the applicant, so far we have only had an urgent directions hearing back in August where my Lives with & PSO were granted, and Dad was denied any contact not even in a contact centre.

Since then he has completely ignored Cafcass therefore they have recommended zero contact and closed the case.

Now we have this Dispute resolution hearing scheduled, but the court haven’t specified in the order what is required from either of us or if any evidence or position statement should be prepared.

I am representing myself, can anyone give any advice what to expect? Thank you

England, UK

I miss my family so much. Me and my baby mom were having issues and have I think it’s because we were in a house with 8 people and never got our own space and we were always together but we’ve had real good times and I want too be with her again and hopefully for the rest if my life. I’m so heartbroken over it all. I miss my baby girl so much I haven’t seen her in 4 days. I’ve been a wreck.

Recommendations for phones, devices, plans, pre paid vs. other plans? 8 year old goes on visitation out of state 2-3 week block only. Dad does not offer or willing to facilitate communication with me. Been using a gizmo, but it's not reliable. Past DV.

A little back story, I’ve unfortunately not been able to get to a place where my son’s dad(32m) and I(30f) can coparent positively. My son(8f) is diagnosed ADHD and ODD. I’ve tried keeping him busy and staying with therapy. Dad pulls him out every time. (We have equal decision making) Our son is acting out more and more lately and it’s exhausting. I have tried everything I know how to do to try and correct his behavior. I can only do so much since his dad fights me on every single turn.

We recently had CPS show up at our door and have been on the edge of our seats. Two separate allegations, both a load of bs. My son has a flair for the dramatic as well and sometimes just outright lies. I’m worried my son may get taken away from me.

I also have a daughter(1.5), different dad, I don’t want my kids to be taken away. Has anyone dealt with something similar? Please give advice, relatable stories, what to say or not say. I’m a wreck.

So like the title says, I'm going to be filing with the court to change parenting time so I have my daughter (8) for Sunday night through Thursday or Friday, depedning on what the last day of school is that week, and every other weekend with me. Her other parent isn't the best around, they try a bit, they mostly meet her minimum needs and do lots of extras and have lots of love for her. There's a lot of small things that really add up though. No hygiene at the other parents, too small clothing, too small and inappropriate shoes, no bras or undershirt, I nlimited access to screens, no supervision, again small(ish) things. The main reason I'm looking to change time though is that she has only made it to school on time once, had 4 tardies, and the rest are so late that they are counted as morning absences and one full day absence. She has only been with the other parent for 19 school days so far. I don't feel like this is an overreaction, it's not new behavior, and I even had it written into the custody agreement that my daughter has to make it to school and make it on time, specifically because her other parent tried to enroll her in another school under the excuse that it was easier for them, but then still was late or not showing up. Thoughts?