OMG you guys, I'm going to a party tonight, and this is my first time doing makeup and more fem clothing!

I feel AMAZING!

for context: i realized im bigender around a month ago and am so happy about that.

(now the question) but that being said my family (especially my brother and my father) still only call me he/him. i know that they dont do it intentionally because they actually use my new fem name, and to be fair i have to say that i very rarely remind them of the pronoun stuff. but thats not the problem i wanted to address here, the thing is: i know that im bigender, it just feels so great and just ‘right’ but strangely every time someone addresses me as he/him i always think “no. she.”. i wanted to ask if this is “normal” (ik bad word to use i just cant think of another)? like is there anyone with similar experience, if so then please share them with me (only if you want ofc). and also could a reason maybe be that i want to hear some kind of “validation” that they really also see me as a girl? the strangest thing about it is that i theoretically really like the idea of using she and he pronouns while altering between them (like for example one sentence she the other he) (my language unfortunately doesn’t have they/them)

Hi guys! I just want to ask if is it okay to be bigender and novosexuality at the same time? Because I felt like I am. I am a guy and whenever I feel a woman, I feel attracted to men but still attracted to women and whenever I feel like a man,I feel attracted to women and I whenever I feel both genders then I like both sex too. To my fellow bigender people, do you feel the same way or am I the only one experiencing this? Or could I be bisexual?

I don’t have full access to the full transition I want. I feel like a woman and a man. However I also don’t feel woman or man enough. I sometimes feel like I’m making it up. My mental has been kinda shitty. I also don’t know how I would relearn life. I’m seen and loved as a cis man and live a “cis-masking” life, so the idea of change is scary tbh. My transition doesn’t feel worth pursuing at times. However the idea letting that side out and seeing it in the mirror sounds lovely at times also.

I'm happy with being a cis female using she/her but at the same time I want to be a boy but not fully.

I'm thinking that I'm maybe a bigender who identifies as female and demiboy, but I'm not sure yet

I first discovered Reddit as a teenager through the cross-dressing community. It was one of the first places where I felt safe exploring a part of myself I didn’t yet understand. Back then, expressing my femininity felt almost taboo. Seeing other people embrace it helped me imagine a life I’m now actually living.

Today, I identify as bigender and gender fluid. I regularly go out and live publicly as a woman, while my masculine identity remains equally real. I’m proud of both. It’s a pretty ordinary life that happens to be a little complicated. 😂

But something interesting has happened along the way: I’ve started feeling disconnected from the online communities that once helped me understand myself.
My interests have shifted toward everyday life, fashion, relationships, and simply being comfortable in my own identity. I’m no longer looking for permission to explore my femininity. I’m actually living it.

Yet I sometimes find myself feeling misunderstood, even in communities where I expected to feel welcome. There can be pressure to fit particular definitions of gender, appearance, or identity, and being bigender doesn’t always fit neatly into those expectations.

A recent disagreement about my old Reddit username brought some of those feelings to the surface. I chose it years ago, inspired by Halestorm’s Mz. Hyde, long before I fully understood my identity. Someone interpreted it as offensive, which genuinely surprised me. I’m open to understanding perspectives I may have missed, but the experience made me reflect on how complicated online identity discussions can become.

And honestly, maybe I’ve simply outgrown some of what originally brought me here.

I’m curious whether other bigender or gender-fluid people have experienced something similar.

Have you ever felt disconnected from the communities that once helped you discover yourself?

And where have you found meaningful friendships or a sense of belonging as you’ve become more comfortable with your identity?

This has been a significant year of personal growth for me. I’ve gained confidence, started living more openly, and learned to appreciate both sides of myself.

I don’t regret finding these communities. They helped me get here. But I’m beginning to wonder what comes next.
Maybe that’s part of growing into yourself, too. 🖤

I (AMAB) am feeling rather male. I don't even want to be girl anymore at this point. I know that when I feel masculine, I can just not comprehend why I want to be bigender anymore. I just can't see myself being a girl anymore right now, and it started a while ago when I ordered my first pair of feminine clothes. Is this just an extreme of being bigender, or was this just a fun experiment for me? Being a dude for the rest of my life doesn't seem that bad anymore. I might just be slightly depressed.

I came up with a masculine name for myself!! Since everyone spams “she” all the time, having a masc name that I like very loosely driven from my actual name makes me feel euphoric! I came up with the name “Link”🩵
I love it sm

And yes, like the legends of Zelda😭 (it wasn’t intentional but AYE)

So i've been on a bit of a self discovery journey this year and i'm starting to think i am bigender. I'm perfectly comfortable being a man (AMAB) but theres definitely some woman in me, i just love getting all dressed up and feeling pretty sometimes! But what im wondering is, how do you all cope with any dysphoria you feel when x gender is 'active' shall we say?

For me, i have a hard time feeling pretty as a girl because of my masc body fat distribution and height (6'3). Obviously nothing can be done about bone structure, but ive been reading a little bit about hrt but then wont i just have the same problem in reverse? A girly figure to contend with when im feeling masc?

Are there any AMAB/AFAB people on here who are on hrt who would be happy to talk about their experience? Or anyone at all who can share some advice about not feeling fully content when presenting as either male/female!

TIA 🫶❤️

I recently figured out I'm bigender. I'm currently masc but want to get in that in-between. Should I try to get thick thighs, muscular arms, or both. I already know I want fat transfers to get breasts and a bigger ass along with wanting to take estrogen.

I didn’t know what flair to put this under so I deleted it and then reposted 😭but I thought this was relatable

I thought I was SOMEWHAT learning to be okay not having people calling me gender affirming language like “boy girl” “pretty dude” “cool guy” yk stuff that makes me feel like both a guy and a girl- and I realized I’m not. My anxiety is horrid and yk what that’s okay. It’s a process and it’s harder than I thought dealing with only being recognized as a girl and only being called pretty. It’s funny bc I feel like no one said “pretty GIRL” as much until after I came out😭. But I’m working on giving myself as much self validation as I can since no one else is. Im starting to dislike posting myself online bc of all the “girl” compliments. So ykw in general if everyone else spams “girl” I’ll just spam “boy”! IM THE PRETTIEST BOY😭💅

With agender people making a large majorty and others that don't seem to understand outside of their own heads (not their fault) I feel out of place. I knew I was a combination as a preteen and even tried mentioning it in the 80s and 90s. Here is a picture of me in the late 70s.

What restrooms are you supposed to use? Do I use the women's restroom when I'm a girl? Do I use the men's restroom when I'm a girl? As I was assigned male at birth, which one do I use when I'm out as a girl? If I use the men's restroom as a girl, I think it would become obvious that I'm not AFAB. However, if I use the women's restroom, I will feel weird even though I probably won't be questioned. Also, do the state laws that restrict transgender people from using the same bathrooms as their gender identity extend to bigendered people? I presume so unfortunately, but I'm not sure.

I just wanted to celebrate. After years of denial and finally admitting that part of me is a woman, I had coffee with a friend this morning as a girl. It was delightful. I was worried I was going to be overwhelmed or scared or gross or even that it would give me dysphoria.

Not even a little bit. It was so happy and comfortable. We just had coffee and talked. It could not have gone better.

Just wanted to celebrate!!

This might just be a me thing, but I feel like when I’m my born persona, with my short hair and glasses, I feel fine as me and ok with how I look, and even without glasses, but when I put on the wig, dress, and lipstick, I look weird. I feel like it just doesn’t look right, my male face on a female body, but that’s how my mind feels. Part of it is male and part is female. But when I want to express my female side, I just look like I am faking it.

I was at the mall once as my male persona, and had my female stuff in a backpack. I almost had the confidence to change, walk into MAC wearing my wig and dress and ask for a make up consultation, but I chickened out at the last second cause I just didn’t want to get stared at or be, frankly, assaulted for what I was doing. I want to be me, but I don’t have the confidence to leave the house in it. I’m not ashamed of my male or female side, but I don’t know if I can pass as female with a face like mine. How do y’all manage? I need a pick me up

I can’t come out to my family because they’re transphobic as hell😭✌️(I’m afab) but not being referred to as a boy sometimes by people is giving me extreme anxiety- sooo im coping. I feel like both a girl and a boy(she/he) And I’ve been told that because I present feminine that’s why I’m not referred to as a boy. It sucks - because when I see myself sometimes I see a boy but in a nonbinary kind of way. But no one else sees me that way. I just always look like a girl to everyone else. Whether I look like one or not I always feel like both and would like to be called both a boy and a girl 🫠💔
I just feel like a girl & a pretty boy.

I’ve been experiencing dysphoria because everyone around me keeps calling me a girl🫠 (I’m afab)and it’s giving me so much anxiety and I finally spoke up about it to my bestf and he said “what if I start referring to you as a boy?” Sooo now I’m just super happy😭

Backstory ig! I feel like both! So blehh it just makes me super happy to be referred to as both a girl and a boy 🖤

I like to feminize myself but I have baldness. I feel ugly because I want to have all my hairs.

I like to shave my beard, wear feminine clothes, put nails polish 💅🏼 and have a feminine perfume.

I still come across as a manly man which doesn't bother me. I am tall and strong.

However, when I try to have pictures of myself as a feminine woman, it doesn't work. I still have baldness and a very masculine face.

I'm okay with it, after all, I am a man. But as for my woman side, how can I be feminine ? I would like to have a wig but it's expensive. Do you have any other advice ?

I'm sorry for my English.

* ...for now.

Day 10 winner (by default):

make the kirbies wear both ties and ribbons
- u/PlayerJE, 4 upvotes
https://www.reddit.com/r/bigender/comments/1x04qol/comment/pehp0rg

I'm sorry that it took me so long to make and post the next edit of the flag. It was in part because I had a ton of important stuff to do beforehand, but also because I wanted to see if... more than one person would comment anything.

I've noticed that my latest posts have been slowly having fewer and fewer comments, as well as fewer and fewer upvotes for the winning comment. Last post only had a single comment, and I'm not really sure why this happening. Maybe you guys are already happy with how the flag looks? Maybe you just don't have any ideas to bring to the table (which is fine, I too am dry as a bone creatively)? Or, as much as I'd hate for that to be the case... maybe you guys simply aren't interested in the series anymore? 🥺

Whatever the case may be, it doesn't really matter.

I've decided to take an indefinite break from the series. Not just because of the decline in engagement, but also because it's taking slightly more of my time than I anticipated at first. But it's also because I think the flag is already gorgeous as it is right now, after 10 changes! 😁

I might resume the thread sometime in the future, either here or on r/TopCommentChangeFlag. But for now, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who contributed their lovely ideas to make this flag a reality! I genuinely expected this thread to descend into pure madness, but instead we got the most beautiful flag I've ever seen! ☺️💖

I recently did the big hair chop for the “boy hair” I’ve been waiting to do for a long time and got a wig for when I want to be femme. but now that I have the short hair I want more?! Like I want to be a fem boy or a masc girl if that makes sense but I never seem to get either. I want to fully be a boy which I feel like would be amazing…I was seriously considering T this past summer but never followed through because I assumed I would have the same “grass is greener on the other side” situation but as a guy. But now I don’t know. It’s so frustrating and confusing. But then when I’m masc I see a pretty girl with long hair and yoga pants and a cute top walk by and I feel so chud and ugly and jealous. Also I feel like no one will ever be attracted to me and this gender flipping I do other than maybe a pan person who is also gnc but I haven’t clicked with those ppl in my community yet (just started college in new state, haven’t found the trans ppl yet haha). Advice? Knowledge? Help? Thanks sm.