CW: mention of self-harm

I started hitting myself and couldn’t stop. I was so frustrated because I couldn’t scream or cry (I live with roommates).

Everything—the smell of cigarette smoke, the sound of coughing, the sound of the doors, the big light being turned and left on, EVERYTHING—in the house was just too much.

And I wanted to cut myself (like, REALLY wanted to) for the first time in years because I just needed the energy OUT.

I have been having to regulate away from the house. I have had to climb mountains, go to a free dance class, get inside of a waterfall, etc. to just fucking calm down.

But, I made this ! And I didn’t relapse into cutting today. Which is a really fucking big win with where I’m at.

I really hope I can live alone soon. A guy can dream, I guess. I am so fucking tired of living with people. It’s like… like the soda bottle has been shaken for Y E A R S (I’ve almost always had roommates) and I am finally fucking exploding internally.

Fuck.

​

My 4-year-old autistic son injured his fingers twice within the same month at his ABA therapy center when his fingers got caught in a bathroom door, despite being under 1:1 supervision. After the second incident, we discovered he had fractures in two fingers. A few days later, one finger developed a serious infection with pus, requiring an ER visit and surgery under sedation at a children's hospital. A plastic surgeon had to remove his fingernail and clean the infected area. We were told the nail could take up to a year to regrow.

I'm concerned about how this happened twice at the same center despite being he getting good therapy there. Has anyone experienced something similar? What would you do as a parent? Should I consider legal action for cause of medical bill and suffering?

Im a college freshman (F) and a little uncomfortable with one of my roommates, I have really bad social struggles and can’t keep up with other womens social cues and what not. I hate saying it but because of my lack of social skills I find it easier to hang out with men and I act pretty masculine for a woman.
My roommates both asked me if I was a lesbian 2 weeks ago and they keep asking me, not convinced when I say that I’m not.
I’m very uncomfortable with the situation because it feels like they’re pressuring me to get with another woman. I want to talk to them about it but there is alot of tension in our room and I’m very non-confrontational.

I brought it up to my friends and they just laughed and said they agree that I’m probably a lesbian. Ive been getting called one since I was in 6th grade, I just want to understand what makes people think I’m lesbian and hopefully fix that.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with being lesbian I’m just uncomfortable with my sexuality being such a big topic of conversation currently.

People ask me what is it like to be autistic. For context, I am late diagnosed Lvl 1. I did not make up this answer but this is what I use. I tell them its like having a one runway airport in your brain. All day 100 airplanes are trying to land on that one runway at the same time. You are the air traffic controller and all the planes are talking to you on the same frequency at the same time. That is autism for me.

Ive been reading through autism Reddit and I’ve been seeing a lot of people talk about the “type of tism” they have. A couple I found were, “good at school” and “good with people” tism. I think it would help me to understand myself better if you guys told me what you “good at-“ tism is. I’m only now starting to explore this side of me.

I've been on this subreddit, studied the topic and had many autistic people in my life, my biggest wish is that one of them or you would've had my mom for a parent.

She is autistic single mom, had me and my (neurotypical) twin through IVF and worked from home, she really devoted her whole life to us since having kids was her biggest dream (she even worked with disabled kids), but I just wish so badly I was born on the spectrum too so her parenting would've worked like she thought it would.

In a lot of ways I think she thought about her own childhood and tried her very best to do things in a way she would've liked as a child, compensating for her own trauma, like not forcing physical touch or social situations onto us. But for me who didn't have any problems with either of those things, received the good willed gestures as: my mom doesn't WANT to touch me and social situations are something to be scared of.

Idk why I'm telling this here, it's just every time I read your guy's post's I keep thinking what a great parent my mom would've been to someone she could understand, and how much an autistic child would've thriven in her care.

I believe much of my problems with my mom and childhood have been caused by this neurological gap, I think many of you can relate to that. It makes me really sad, now that I'm not longer resentful and angry :(

My whole life so far has felt like a journey to find a balance between peace and functionality that just doesnt exist. Every tiny thing, hygiene, temperature, speaking, working, even things that I should enjoy like puzzles, games or walks are so draining.

It seems like I have to choose between being mildly peaceful while doing absolutely nothing or being mildly functional while being absolutely miserable.

I just want to live comfortably while also being to sustain myself. Im so grateful to have a family that can support me and some savings but what will I do when I eventually live on my own and run out of money?

Does anyone have any tips for managing burnout? Any medication or treatment of any kind?

Is it just me or is this just really disrespectful, especially when it’s intentionally done if you’re upset and it’s not something “that’s valid to be mad about because you’re just autistic and acting irrational” and honestly I can get none family even though it’s still kind of annoying to tolerate because not everyone knows how to interact with autistic people but especially if a person is baby talking you in a busy public area it just feels kind of humiliating almost.

I can't decide if people in society simply feel that "uncanny valley effect" and subconsciously dislike us, and that's why we face so much untoward subtle discrimination.

Or is it because we are easy targets for bad actors, and we get a disproportionately high number of exploitative, genuinely evil people in our lives?

My life has been so crazy chaotic and unnecessarily stressful that I'm in total burnout now. When I look back, I can see that I have not been treated fairly. And even people without neurodiversity aren't treated this poorly. I'm a genuine target for others. Whether it's them taking out their frustrations on me, or treating me poorly due to their own insecurities, or them enjoying a power dynamic, there's always some BS.

And sure, it's a lot of factors. My upbringing especially taught me not to have boundaries or defend myself, and I've worked on that very much. But the thing is, it's too little too late. I worked in a very politically charged high stress corporate job right out of college, and even though I only worked there for 2.5 years, (I was exploited, a whole story in itself), I am now in such incredibly severe burnout that I find it hard to rejoin society. I've become a hermit, and find it hard to start again.

What has your experience been like? Because I can't decide if I should continue being a hermit, which is quite boring and leads to depression, or if I should slowly try to rejoin society on the fringes.

for me it’s the Borgia’s/Pope Alexander

today I was scrolling through tiktok and found a live of a Spanish girl (I'm also Spanish) living in Japan and she was answering questions about her life there.

I've heard before that while Japan is very safe, there are quite a lot of cases of sexual assault and similar. so out of complete curiosity (and due to all I've heard and seen about it before) I asked her: "Hihi! is is true that living in Japan can be dangerous for women living alone?"

I was interested in the answer since I'm a woman myself and I'm very drawn into Japan and its culture. I wanted to know if it's true that men stalk girls, they steal underwear etc. I know maybe I asked in a bit rude way, directly saying "is it true?" but I meant it in a complete genuine innocent way. At least I felt it didn't sound aggressive or anything.

she then reads the question and begins speaking in a very annoyed tone. she began saying repeteadly that nothing had ever happened to her. she was like "what do you think this is?? don't you see i'm alone in the street right now?? i don't think have been killed unless i didn't notice" and similar stuff.

she went on to have a long rant about what is wrong with me, why did i ask that, that Japan was completely safe, etc, all in a both annoyed and rude tone.

it made me feel as if I just asked the worst question ever, and now I feel horrible. I never meant to disrespect Japan, her, or anyone. was what I said really that bad? how could've I worded it better? or was it just a straight up rude question?

I know a lot of autistic people prefer underwired or no bar at all and society in general says this is more comfortable. I'd have to disagree, underwireds SPECIFICALLY with padding are just more comfortable because they have more support and keep them place, it's also very uncomfortable not to wear a bra because I don't like the feeling of my breasts directly touching the clothings or jiggling about with no support

Somehow, everyone claims I'm lying too. People claim that because I conveniently prefer most clothing styles which are considered stylish that I am just saying it as an excuse to wear cool looking stuff rather than what society seems "comfortable" all the time. I've noticed the same with other clothing too, I wear comfy doc martens style shoes for everyday but people claim I am being a "fashion victim" and that "you're not REALLY comfortable unless you let go of aesthetics entirely and wear an ugly pair of sketchers!!!"

A trend I have noticed in life is that modern fashion almost convinces everyone into thinking comfort and practicality of clothing and aesthetics and stylishness will always be inversely proportional; most people wear sweatpants now and consider even a casual dress with nothing else to be an effort, but in old photographs it was the norm to wear clothes that would be considered smart and dressy now

Im 18F, I know self diagnosis is considered wrong but I've exhibited every single symptom of autism before I even had a concept of what autism was. I'm highly considering getting a diagnosis so I can talk about my experiences with lifelong sensory issues, communication issues and my other neurodivergent behaviours without being treated like I have some unserious pseudo disorder just because a doctor hasnt officially given me a label, but im honestly terrified for the assessment.

I never masked as a child, I still suck at masking today and i presented fairly obvious visible symptoms so my parents were either 1: Unobservant assholes or 2: Didnt want to have more than one autistic child (my younger brother is early diagnosed and has more stereotypical boy autism) so as the older sister Id just get told to get over myself and stop being "overdramatic". Obviously I never grew out of my issues I just learnt how to suffer silently. Even kids in school picked up on it before my parents and I got put through almost a decade of bullying where ive been called autistic, the r slur and made fun of for every "autistic" mannerism more times than I can count (of course noone gave a shit or felt any empathy because in most peoples eyes no diagnosis = no autism)

With my history of not being taken seriously im horrified for the assessment. Im scared the doctor will just see me as another woman whos convinced she has autism because its "trendy" online and dismiss me. I dont want to spoil the autism assessment by accidentally "giving myself the answers" (i already have a little which is worrying me), but from what I've heard they put even grown adults through a series of random tasks that I'm deeply afraid of overthinking or failing in some way. I'm scared that overpreparing for the assessment in the first place and already being at the conclusion I'm most likely autistic will just make me look like im just desperate for a label or something because I'm trying too hard to sway the doctors opinion. I really hope they let me talk about my experiences but I'm not sure how to conduct myself and I'm afraid if i memorise my points beforehand to tell the doctor like arguments I'll just look too determined. I know deep down a big part of me is honestly terrified I'm wrong and that it'll just be confirmed i really am weird and overdramatic.

What can i expect when im being assessed for autism and how do i avoid coming off as too determined for a diagnosis?

Hi everyone!

My name is Jenna, and I am a PhD candidate in the Clinical Psychology program at the University of Alabama. For my dissertation project, I am exploring the relationship(s) between individuals’ understanding of sexual consent and levels of various autistic traits. I’m seeking participants both with and without autism to capture a range of these traits. You are eligible to participate as long as you are at least 18 years old, living in the United States, and do not have an intellectual disability (ID)*.

The survey is completely anonymous and entirely online. IT MUST BE TAKEN ON A LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER and is estimated to take approximately 35-55 minutes.

Due to the survey being hijacked by bots multiple times, I have to create individual links for real people who are actually interested in participating and providing earnest responses. Numerous data security measures are incorporated into the survey, so you will be screened out (and not paid) if the survey detects you are a bot. Please do not take the survey while connected to a VPN that places your location outside of the United States, or you may be screened out.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

If you would like a link to the study, please comment “link," and I will send it to you via chat within 24 hours of your comment.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

This link will only work for you, and it will only work once. You do not need to provide any identifying information using this link. Once you complete the survey, you will be redirected to another survey (not linked to your data) where you will enter your email address to receive a prepaid $15 Visa gift card. 

If you have any questions regarding this research, please email [autismandconsent@gmail.com](mailto:autismandconsent@gmail.com). Thank you in advance for your consideration and/or participation! I’d greatly appreciate it :-)

\Those with ID are excluded from data collection in an effort to reduce the potentially confounding effect of ID on the study’s results.*

Let me start off with saying I know this is a silly thing to get annoyed with, definitely a first world problem in the community.

I can’t STAND implied statements, specifically, “you know what I mean.” no. I don’t know what you mean. and I guess society at large knows what you mean but I’M SO CONFUSED??

I seriously am in disbelief how everyone understands such vague statements like that, even laughing or joking around, meanwhile I am completely dumbfounded. I’m left thinking, even hours later, “hmmmm…. what did that person mean???”

Even worse, if you ask because of your confusion, everyone acts like YOU are out of line?! Like social confusion is some sort of crime.

Wondering if anybody else has this issue. Often times I find help for people who have been ghosted, but not for people who ghost. I guess this version of it is too specific?

I’ve tried for years to make online friends to no avail. I can’t even pinpoint what exactly happens. It’s just too overwhelming for no clear reason. I feel so bad about whatever hurt I might have caused, even though we rarely ever get an entire conversation in before it happens.

It just seems to be so unrewarding and pointless. I have to pretend to be a normal well-adjusted adult for an undetermined amount of time just for the chance to possibly make a friend? I genuinely don’t understand how anybody does this. I don’t care enough about how they are or whatever they’re up to at the moment. I know the point of small talk, but it feels torturous and exhausting when I do it anyway.

Even if its a person I hang out with in real life, whatever connection we had disintegrates once there’s distance. Once the communication/relationship maintenance is purely text, call, social media or whatever, I just ruin it. I also have AVPD and ADHD so that’s probably it too, but man. I just wish something that seems so simple and normal for everybody else wasn’t so freaking impossible for me.

'Everyone is a little autistic'

'Everyone is a little neurotypical'

'he's acting neurospicy'

'the tism showed' In general both those words make me barf.

'I want an autistic girl' and guys just mean an e-girl acting quirky for views or a just a girl with nerdy interests

It is a VERY REAL mental disorder that messes up people's lives and can be difficult to live with. It's not fun or quirky.

the drink Is apple juice

I don’t like many healthy foods and I have been trying to eat healthier. The fact that I am currently in drumline doesn’t help much since you sneed as much energy and carbs as I can. My weight isn’t going down and the fact that my periods have been off this year is another problem.

When I do have healthy food I like I end up eating it over and over and over and over again. Like is it even healthy at that point? My family also won’t let me eat the same things everyday either so it’s a bit harder to stay on the diet that I want.

Anyone have any ideas on how I can try to maintain a good diet, or new healthy foods to try until the season ends?
ALL OPINIONS WELCOME!

Thank you and God Bless😊🙏

So I've heard that allegedly autistic people don't undergo synapse pruning, which is a process that occurs during adolescence where our brain removes weak/unused neural connections. This is the reason why learning a new language is significantly harder for an adult than it is for a child. My question is: do I understand correctly that it means that we have less processing power, but learn and memorise new things better than other people? Or am I getting this totally wrong? I would love someone with high expertise to explain this to me..

Like do you want to share your life with someone and have a romantic relationship or do you enjoy being by yourself and staying single?

This may be a little gross. Ever since highschool I've had issues with vomiting due to sensory issues or big emotions. It's like a psychological thing. If I feel myself get too full after eating or if I feel acid reflux I get nauseous. This also happens when I brush my teeth and it has become a serious issue. As I feel my mouth filling with toothpaste I guess it triggers my gag reflex and I throw up. I don't know what to do about it or how to alleviate it. I don't want to go anywhere with stinky breath. Does anybody else struggle with this?

I was recently diagnosed with von Willebrand's disease and given a medical alert bracelet. I was unsure if the bracelet would be recognizable as my hematologist said it's very important for first responders to know that information, so I posted a picture of it in another subreddit. Some commenters did give really helpful advice and others got so mad at me when I clarified what I was trying to say. They said they wouldn't do anything differently and I know that they should because of how much my hematologist said I need to communicate this information because I don't respond to the usual medicine, and when I clarified more, they got more mad at me. I have a hard time with verbal communication and get really nervous and leave out important parts, which has caused problems in the past. And just to be clear, I am not trying to call out the people who responded to my post, I just don't know how to deal with situations similar to this. I don't want any further conflict on my issue and just added the previous stuff for context. I only diagnosed with vWD a few months ago, am in high school, and am very new to reddit, so I was just so confused and scared. Anyone have advice?

From Friday to Sunday, I went on a short vacation and got to go to many museums; I had a great time. I’ve always struggled at school but things have seemed to get worse since I got back from the museums. The lights are too bright, people are too loud, I feel like everyone’s always looking at me… I don’t know why these things have amplified since Thursday at school. I have been unable to remain in class for a full period because all the stimuli hurt my eyes, ears, and brain and cause me to cry uncontrollably. I was told by my school’s student support (I forgot to mention that I’m around 16 now) that I was overreacting and it wasn’t as loud/bright as I had complained. My math teacher asked me if I wanted to work in LST yesterday and I was really overstimulated, so I couldn’t answer her. Of course, the student support person used that against me. My parents won’t let me have accommodations besides noise canceling headphones and they don’t even work that well. I’m sick and tired of being seen as dramatic and a liar by my school. I’m never taken seriously!

I have been doing therapy as long as my mind can remember (about 3-4 or something) in an ABA format. This year, I have finally understood what this therapy is REALLY about.

For context, I am a verbal 14 year old with Level 1 Autism. I have been diagnosed with Autism for almost as long as I have a memory. I'd say that most would classify me as an ambivert, as I have been called an extrovert and introvert an almost equal amount of times. I have a lot of friends, but only about 5 or so of them I'm actually close with. So, I'd say I'm more social than the average autistic person. However, the ABA doesn't really care that I am social. In their eyes I'm probably a 7 year old with no friends.

I don't feel comfortable that a company is taking all of this data of me somewhat secretively, and judging me as a person based on how many times I end a conversation properly or recognize passive aggressiveness. Of course if I request the data, they have showed it to me before. They don't take all of this data for non-autistic people; so, I feel like it's unfair that whenever I have any interaction with the ABA they have to judge my every move.

I am a normal American high school student. Yet, the ABA still treats me as if I were in first grade. Whenever I understand something or don't understand something they react as if I were a toddler. I'm tired of the ABA always acting as if any autistic person has zero social knowledge. I understand that one of the core traits of Autism is a lack of socializing with others. However, I don't understand why I have to learn social skills that are meant for 6 year olds.

It seems that every mistake I make is a reason that the ABA thinks I'm somehow not normal. Why can't I just lessons that someone my age gets it's not that hard! I do an online social skills group/meeting with clinical director, and I like it. It's just they are making me do it for 18 months straight every Wednesday and Friday. I have to do 3 hours per week. They act like I have all the free time in the world when I don't. I already know the lessons they were teaching because I was taught them 6 years ago, and I was raised in a normal environment. All I just want to do is just hang out with people every Friday Social Skills groups, and then when I leave I want to get their contact information so I have more friends.

Anyways, it seems that the ABA can't comprehend that I am a normal teenager. I really hope that people start to understand that autistic people are just normal people that were born with limitations that 95% of people weren't born with.

i’m gonna start this by saying my mom is alive and well, and this is also an alt account. i’m a 20 year old girl who still lives with my parents, im chronically ill so i get sick a ton. whenever i am sick i always end up crying and just saying “mommy mommy mommy i need you mommy please” over and over again. i feel embarrassed, shouldn’t i know how to regulate my emotions at my big age? i need to know if anyone else feels the same way bc i just want my mommy.

most of the time she’s not home whenever this happens and ill call her at work sobbing saying that i don’t feel good and that i need her. i feel so so so so so fucking embarrassed calling her multiple times a week just saying i need her and miss her. then when she gets home i feel like i get distant and i don’t want to. then when she goes to bed at night ill sit there crying in my bed or on the couch begging for my mom. i feel like such a child. i’m sorry for the slight vent it’s just been happening a lot since ive gotten diagnosed with POTS.

edit: can at least one person answer, i know i just posted it but im just scared it’ll get buried