I won’t go into detail of my relationship history or what I’ve tried.

I just wanna say when I hear someone found someone to date or even hook up with tbh it just makes me depressed.

Maybe my situation is harder in comparison cuz I’m looking for a serious long term relationship. Not a hook up or fwb.

But just get discouraged. I’ve been alone a long time.

I want this to stop bringing me down. But the very mention just gets me to feel alone. It makes me think “why is that so easy for people?”

And then it progresses to “I’m just not built for this world. I was not raised for this world.” There’s no one to make this worth it when you don’t live for yourself.

What do they do? I don’t even think im ugly. I feel average and have been told im average. Ive had relationships. Mostly online which I just can’t bring myself to do anymore.

What do you notice people just do? I am biased saying this but I don’t feel my standards are even high.

What do they do? Whats wrong with me?

I go to therapy. You don’t have to suggest it.

And my life isn't even bad on paper, at all.

I should've been put into a mental health facility. Too late now.

Do you love it? Hate it? In my case, I have what is called Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Basically, I am a super picky eater, and I struggle to know when I am hungry; I forget to eat a lot because of this. And when I do eat, I get the sensation of being full way too soon. I could easily go a day without any food.

Also, eating to me is just extremely boring. I get very little pleasure from eating food. Sometimes I am excited to eat a food I like, but most of the time I wish I just didn't have to eat at all.

I was always the last person to finish my food growing up, and I still am. I cannot eat in front of people or in public spaces. Restaurants are the worst because of this (I always ask for a box lol).

Now specifically about the food... texture is far superior to taste. I couldn't care less if food is bland, as long as it has good texture. (Unsalted pecans and straight, plain mushrooms are some of my favorite snacks).

I've never been to a casino before, and there's a fairly nice one about half an hour from where I live. I have pretty much no interest in gambling, but I'm thinking about going just so I can have the experience at least once. I'd be going by myself.

Are there any rules or expectations I should know going in to avoid embarrassing myself while I'm there? What should I wear? How much money should I bring? Am I allowed to just sit down at a table and tell them to deal me in, or do I have to wait for a certain point in the game to join? What about leaving? Can I just stand up when I decide I've lost enough money, or is that only allowed at certain times? If I get confused, are people going to get annoyed if I ask what I'm supposed to do?