Sat here at a kids' birthday party, and it's... fine. But everyone else knows each other from current school, and my kid is what you'd call a "legacy" friend, so I'm feeling a bit isolated (not to mention under the weather). He feels none of my awkwardness, thankfully, but I have to get through the next three hours, so please entertain me with kids' birthday party scenarios much worse than this one.

Was just on a walk along the coast and saw a £20 note on the path. Asked a nearby woman if it was hers and she laughed and said no you keep it.

If you saw a £20 note in public do you pocket it immediately, or try and ask if someone has lost it?

I was thinking about how much our expectations have changed over the last 20 years.

Growing up, having a TV in your bedroom was a big deal. Going abroad was something you looked forward to all year, and getting a takeaway was an actual treat.

Now we’ve got £1,000 phones, subscriptions to half a dozen streaming services, and people ordering Deliveroo because they can’t be bothered to walk ten minutes.
Not saying things were necessarily better back then, but it’s interesting how quickly luxuries become things we feel we can’t live without.

What else belongs on the list?

I have had the What Three Words app installed on my iPhone for a long time. It used to be suggested on first aid courses as a way to help emergency services find outdoor locations quickly.

I hadn't opened it for ages until recently but now it apparently works like some kind of parody website. There were several different popup messages getting in the way when it first started, it seemed to need some kind of account to sign in (to what?!), it didn't seem to be using location services to find where I was and give me the three words if I tried to cancel past everything, and it even had some kind of ad banner across a significant part of the screen.

Something like this is obviously worse than useless if you're trying to get help as quickly as possible in an emergency so that app has immediately been deleted from my phone. Does anyone know if there is now a similar recommendation (official or just informal but commonly suggested by people who actually work in emergency response) for something else that can help to give an accurate location quickly when there's no obvious address to use?

Basically, what it says in the title.

Recently picked up that horrible American Covid strain, did the whole staying home for 10 days shebang (couldn't particularly leave even I'd I wanted to, that strain really floored my immunocompromised arse), had my antibiotics from the accompanying chest infection, etc etc etc.

After those 10 days (or two weeks, I don't even remember anymore!), I did feel better but still not 100%, so dug out my masks from the pandemic for nipping to the shop/running errands. Oh my goodness, the amount of dirty looks I got?!! I live in quite a friendly city, so genuinely never experienced this before, but every single location had at least one person giving a nasty glare.

Now that I think about it, I haven't seen many masks whatsoever since the pandemic, but if I did, I would just assume whoever is wearing it to either be ill or not wanting to get ill.

So yeah! Just curious to hear what the UK's opinion on masks is, if anyone else has experienced something similar, and perhaps why people wearing masks get what feels like heavy judgement 😅!!

I dislike matte coloured paint jobs, as I cant see reflections as well in them.

I recently made an emotional decision to purchase festival tickets and realised too late that I lost the money. Luckily it was only £70 and I didn't share any bank details with the person. I reported it to the bank and followed through with reporting it on the Fraud website the bank recommended. I know my loss is nothing compared to what others have been victim to but I still feel unsettled and unsafe in regards to my security.

For me it has to be Garic Bread, those shitty baguettes are better than the posh stuff

I keep seeing stories of people falling out over plane seats. People requesting others to move and them refusing.

I have never seen this in person and I would never think to ask to switch seats on a plane. Is this a thing people do in the UK?

One look across the pond with the partisan polarising news sources makes me appreciate the neutrality and reliability of the BBC?

I’m talking on the whole they’re the most reliable along with the sporting events, radio and other media

Why does it get so much hate?

An estimated 219,000 children in England and Wales have a parent in prison every year, so a lot of families go through this. Very few people talk about it.

I went through it as a kid, and what I remember is my mum waiting by the phone with no idea how anything worked. When would he ring? Why hadn't he? Was she doing something wrong?

For anyone who's been through it, what was that first week actually like? What did you not know that you wish you had? And if you've been inside or worked in a prison, what do families usually get wrong?

In year 8 at secondary school in 2001 , my registration class was in the IT department, we all used to play hearts or browse the internet before our lessons. The internet back then felt so different, like it was a genuine escape from reality but a good one. Also waiting 5 minutes for the computers to boot up was an experience itself

Nowadays everything seems to be algorithms that feed you to the same sites and places and the internet just seems a more sad and lonely place.

I have a £50 John Lewis that I got as a gift, sitting untouched in a drawer. I’m currently having a bit of a tough time, so wanted to treat myself to something nice. A food and drink lover, I really wanted to buy some items that I’d never normally get doing my food shops.

The voucher can be used in both John Lewis & Waitrose.

The total cost has to be no more than £50.00.

I am also gluten free (unfortunately)!

So what should I buy?

I'm currently underpaid, however in a stable and secure job and company with colleagues who are all right and it's medium size company, but I've recently received an offer for a new role at a smaller company that pays around 80% more than my current salary. The new position is also one level above my current job title, so it would be a promotion as well as a significant pay increase and it would also mean higher annual bonus and pension installments.

The interview process was relatively straightforward, consisting of two stages. I mainly had a conversation with a senior person at the company, who spent most of the time explaining the role and the business rather than asking me 'tell me about a time...' type of questios. Unlike some other interviews I've attended, I wasn't really tested that much technically or challenged with difficult questions, quite surprised actually but happy about it.

Although receiving the offer is obviously encouraging, it has made me slightly nervous about whether the company might have overestimated my abilities or whether I might struggle once I actually start the job.

In my current role, if I encounter something I don't know, I can ask someone one or two levels above me for guidance, and that's completely fine. I know the environment, I understand the expectations, and I feel secure in my position but at the same time I'm underpaid. I also have colleagues coming with questions to me.

With the new role, I'm worried that the expectations might be higher because of the more senior job title and significantly better salary. What if they expect me to know more than I actually do? What if I struggle to meet their expectations and fail probation? But they didn't test me much during job interviews to guage it.

If that happened, I'd potentially lose not only the new job but also the stable position I've already given up. Finding another job could take time, and I might not be able to find something comparable to my role now.

On the other hand, an 80% pay increase and a promotion are significant opportunities, and I don't want to turn down a potentially great career move simply because I'm afraid of the risk.

What would you do in this situation? Sense checks of my thinking are very welcome.

Would you take the offer and trust that the company sees potential in you, or would you be cautious about leaving a secure job when you're not entirely sure whether you're ready for the next level?

So what’s something that a person with no friends or people of their own, simply buy for not much money but feel joy every time you look at it or use it or feel it?
It could be something very simple or for a reasonable price

But it should in some way shape or form bring positive vibes and maybe just maybe bring a bit of cheer and shake you off your loneliness and depression!

We’re in the process of buying our dream home, but what should have been a straightforward issue about sharing the costs of a septic tank has potentially put the entire purchase at risk.

The property shares a sewage system with the neighbouring house, which sits on their land. The 2003 Transfer Deed states that we contribute 50% towards the costs of maintaining, repairing and emptying the tank.

During the conveyancing process, the neighbours (two bitter old c**ts) started pushing for costs to be split according to the number of occupants at each property, even including our three-year-old son in their calculations.

We pointed out that the deed clearly states 50/50. They then changed their position, accepting a 50/50 split for running costs but insisting that emptying costs should be based on occupancy. Despite the deed covering emptying costs too, we agreed to their proposed arrangement as a compromise because we wanted to resolve the matter amicably.

You would think that would be the end of it.

Instead, on 8 October, the neighbours sent a formal letter through the estate agent demanding written confirmation from the sellers' solicitors that their terms were accepted. They also imposed a five-working-day deadline for payments after invoices were presented and stated that, if agreement or payment was not forthcoming, they would have to reconsider the arrangement for sharing the sewage system.

That last part is particularly concerning. Our entire property depends on a system located on their land.

The letter prompted our solicitor to raise several issues with our mortgage lender. These included the fact that the deed refers to a septic tank, the neighbours call it a cesspit, and the engineer's report identifies a sewage treatment plant. Our solicitor also identified a lack of express rights of access for inspection, maintenance and repairs, alongside a reported root ingress issue that needs clarification.

Our solicitors have now informed us that the lender has REJECTED to lend based on the presented information and we are now seeking a compromise with the lender via our mortgage broker. This will most undoubtedly mean getting our own sewage treatment plant installed (cost circa £12,000-£15,000).

Now we're facing potential delays, extra legal costs and, worst of all, the possibility of losing a home we've put a huge amount of time, money and emotion into buying.

If we do manage to complete the purchase (possibly by installing our own sewage treatment plant, especially as the owners of No. 123 will probably put their property back on the market at some point), I’ll admit I’m tempted to return the favour and make their next house sale just as straightforward as they’ve made ours. 😂

Any suitably creative, but above-board, suggestions? I’m all ears.

I'm curious about the ratings some restaurants and other businesses have received in my area and was wondering if it's possible to read the actual reports that lead to a business getting a rating.

I came across a Chris Spargo video where he seems to have a report but I can't find how he might've acquired it.

For those who chose to one day disappear for a while and go missing. What was your thought process, did you think about your family, did you have space to think?

I haven’t had anyone go missing but I sometimes think about running away.
33F

Edit: I just wanted to say that while I can’t respond to everyone, I have read and will read every reply and I’m so grateful for people sharing their stories with me. While it can’t take my troubles away, I feel a little more seen.

Had some warning lights on my car so took it into the garage and just been quoted £2k for repairs. Also won't have a car for a week as I can't take it away until it's fixed (battery might explode apparently).

Thought it may make me feel better to know I'm not alone!

What have you had to fork out for this year that you hadn't accounted for?

Interesting conversation with a work colleague today. I start at 8am but wake up at 4:30am every day except Sunday when I treat myself to a 6am lie in. I like to be up early and to relax before my travels to work. Also enjoy sitting by the garden and listening to birds. It might seem extreme to some but I love an early morning.

Just found out Bono from U2 is 66, for some reason I thought he was at least 10 years older being similar vintage to Sting and Elton John. Who have you discovered to be younger than you thought?

Not necessarily your favourite song, just one that instantly brings back a memory.

Maybe something your parents played in the car, a school disco, a family holiday or a particular summer.

I'm fascinated by how vividly people remember these moments years later. What's yours?

**EDIT - Wow this blew up, while I was at the cinema lol! Some incredible beautiful stories here - this has brought me so much joy to read through, thanks so much all!!!!

I was pondering as to what makes something an “aggressive” design? In terms of vehicle design, not deterrent infrastructure. I can tell if a vehicle looks aggressive, it doesn’t have to be black or a dark colour that’s maybe associated with aggression. Is this learned? Or if you showed someone that’s never seen a car a picture of a let’s say standard Nissan micra next to a BMW M3, they could tell you which looks more aggressive? I suppose this goes with guns also when comparing hunting rifles with wooden stocks to AR style guns.

I (31m) have been playing football regularly over the last 15 years. Whilst I’ve never been the best I’ve noticed over the last year a bit of a decline in terms of my speed/reactions and can’t see that improving as I get older.

I wanted to know what skills can you get better at regardless of ageing?

Thanks!

Intrigued to hear what others think. I think passport control guards at airports might be up there, I’ve never seen one smile!