If you have ADHD and are experiencing perimenopause, how are you surviving? Cuz I'm barely getting by.

My brain cannot retain information. I cannot think of words or names to save my life. I can only do half of my laundry, and I will never fold any of it again. All of my ADHD symptoms are worse than they've ever been.

We all deserve to be on disability during this phase of our lives. We deserve Meals on Wheels and free coffees.

When we get notice of overdue bill fines, we should be able to call the company's and be like "I'm 45 years old and have ADHD. I don't owe you crap." And in a just world, they would reply "My god I had no idea. I'm so proud of you for making this phone call today. Please, let me doordash you a coffee."

Basically the title. I watch the same YouTube videos and movies over and over again. I can’t get myself to watch anything new (unless it’s a movie/show that I’ve seen promos for… then I’m weirdly okay?)

When my fiancé tries to put on a new TV or movie that he wants to watch, I immediately get an overwhelming feeling of fight or flight? My anxiety goes through the roof and it ends up coming out as an exasperated or angry tone.

I’m currently unemployed and looking for a new job so I’m also home all the time - meaning I’m able to watch anything I want whenever I want. So I recognize it’s not fair of me to be so… possessive? over the TV, but I feel like I can’t help it. Like I said my anxiety goes through the roof and it sounds so silly but I get so upset when my fiancé puts something on without asking me! And that’s so ridiculous like I do not own the TV!

Does anyone have any advice on ways I can mitigate this and get myself to stop being so weird over the TV? This is not fair to my fiancé and I want to fix that. Thank you in advance 🫶🏽

Does that make it severe? Is depression added on to it then? And is the depression severe? Does anyone else deal with this?
I feel like I’m letting my life crumble apart but the stress of it is still all there. And the stress and overwhelm makes it seem like it’s all impossible to fix. What can I do to make it better?

I am feeling very bad now about it but I just told my 7 year PhD advisor that I had untreated ADHD. I genuinely regret all the time I wasted before discovering I had this condition and another year to finally decide to get medicated. I recently only 4 months ago started my medication and I am finally functioning well. I worked for barely 5 weeks and I already see a manuscript coming in another week or two. I wish I knew this about myself, for every PhD here who hasn’t considered getting diagnosed please do. I still feel bad about telling my advisor but I just told him out of no where, I don’t know what I was thinking. It took me 34 years to discover this about myself, I am finally peaceful and functional.

I just tried to read a story on NextDoor via email notification and the moment an overlay in the browser said I'd been sent an email with a code, I was out and didn't care anymore. I know my sensitivity to barriers is related to my ADHD, so I ask you all this:

How often is it that a site/app deciding a password isn't enough to login because you have to waste valuable seconds waiting, looking for, and copying a code, followed by returning to the site/app to paste it (all of which is an indeterminate amount of time and effort or frustration)?

Side question: WTF is a Passkey really for, and why is adding more opportunities to fraudulently copy my method for entry a good thing when they're all on top of an existing password entry method?

Im not really sure if this is a thing. But I have the kind of ADHD where I talk myself out of things.

For example: I have an interview. I know it will eventually be good for me. I know it will help me eventually be comfortable in that kind of environment. But I talk myself out of it. For example it can be 11 am and my interview is 1 pm and the WHOLE entire time I am worrying and obsessing about this and telling myself I should cancel or reschedule.

I have a French class and the whole entire morning I am thinking of ways WHY I should cancel and why its reasonable to cancel. Even though I know I need to go to gain exposure and more knowledge to the language.

I am thinking this is caused by ADHD because when I am stable and on meds this rarely happens. I pretty much just tell myself to be quiet and just go. Or I decide to go and it happens. When im not on meds, its not as easy.

If i also have to make a phone call or waiting on a phone call that is scheduled at 2 pm. I cannot do anything else aside from hyperfocua and overthink about that phone call.

Its so difficult and exhausting because I want to be successful but I am constantly self-sabotaging.

Any thoughts on this or is it just me?

I really struggle with eye contact with people during conversation - it is just too intense and it makes me not be able to process what is said and respond. I found stimulants helped with this but not completely .

How many of you struggle with this ? It seems to be one of my biggest struggles with processing and also may be related to rejection sensitivity.

I'm a confident speaker and have good social skills - when I make eye contact it is totally masking and causes me discomfort. I have also had people pick me up on this as if I am not listening when I look away while listening and responding.

Do you have any tips to alleviate this and what are your experiences? Does it ever go away ? I thought this behaviour was typical with autism but with my ADHD it seems so intense!!

I stopped taking my meds 3 years ago bc I moved abroad, and getting treatment was almost impossible. However, I returned to my country a year ago and simply didn't go back to the psychiatrist.

I kind of fear losing my "sparkle" and becoming boring. BUT I'm struggling bc:

1. I'm tired all day, but from 8pm-1am I have a lot of energy and can focus, but I work during the day, and I need the energy for daytime.

2. I depend on caffeine and nicotine to focus and have energy.

3. I only feel "centered" or at peace with either nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

4. I can't keep up depending on these bc they are LITERALLY ruining my bladder lining, and I have to pee 24/7.

I know the answer is obvious, and I should go back, but I'm a bit hesitant about being medicated all my life.

Pretty terrifying. It jumped over the guard rail so it seemed like it fell out of the sky and hit my car as I drove 65 miles an hour. I'm so used to thinking I did something wrong, missed something, didn't notice.. whatever I'm usually getting wrong or getting blamed for.. but I was totally not at fault.

Could have been so much worse. Still sucks but I'm alive and barely injured. Also - airbags smell terrible.

21m, Graduating from college soon. I’m not sure if this is an ADHD thing, but i haven't made a single friend over here. Sure, I have a ton of acquaintances and people i can talk for a few minutes to, But other than that my social life is completely lonely.

It seems like i can never form a deep connection with anyone. Every interaction i have is like in a office with coworkers around me.

I try to banter or joke around along with others but people still treat me like i'm some kind of background entity that they need to have a few dialogues with.

Not sure what the solution for this is. I've seen a ton of posts here where people are facing the same problem so i guess it is an ADHD thing.

Most replies on those posts are like "embrace solitude" "accept that you're going to be lonely forever and make peace with it" And while the idea does sound nice i'd really like to have a support system.

I got diagnosed late too, and was put on meds around the third year of my college. So i've missed the crucial time to socialize in my first and second year where most people form groups by then. I mean i did socialize, but i was unmedicated so my ADHD awkwardness was on full display i guess.

It bums me out to picture my wedding day and see a sparse room filled only with relatives/family. But since i am properly medicated now i'm still clinging onto some hope that i still have a chance. For people who overcame this, What did you do?

Yesterday I was processing a ton of plants and putting them in grocery bags. It was getting full and tough to stuff the plants in there.

Should we switch to a new bag?

Do I keep stuffing them in?

How do I continue without damaging the plants further?

How full is full? What if the bag breaks? Tape? Double bag?

What if we open a new bag and only put a little bit in there before we have to start a new bag for a new section? Do we take some from the other bag into the new one or just leave it?

How many bags do we have? Do we have to be careful on how many we use?

Do we have to label the bags? Label them what? Do I go off of the tags on the plants? But then I have to take them out again.

So instead of rambling ALL of this to my boss, I simply stated the issue. "The bag is almost full."

He squashed them down and told me to keep going until it was full. When we finished the section, it was full, and he put it to the side without labeling it and got a new bag out without labeling it. 75% of my thoughts weren't even a concern.

When there's an upcoming or potential issue and you need someone else's input, simply state the issue and don't go into the millions of questions, conjectures, modes, methods, etc. about it. Trust that they know what they're doing and that they've planned for this situation. Use them like a computer and just state what the situation is. If they don't understand why you're concerned, state the most major implication and the baseline solution.

Like for above, "I don't think the rest of the plants will fit inside. When do we start a new bag?"

This saves SO much energy and stress. I don't have to bother prioritizing. I don't have to formulate my millions of thoughts into something the other person will understand. I don't have to worry about rambling. I'm no longer dealing with terrible indecision on which of the millions of routes I could take.

Have any of you ever cried constantly because of loneliness, even when you’re surrounded by lots of people?
Do you think ADHD has anything to do with this? Do you constantly feel like there’s no one in this world who truly understands you?
Do you find yourself disliking socializing and preferring to be alone because of ADHD?
Do you ever think that you might spend your entire life alone, crying by yourself, without ever sharing your feelings with anyone?
I’d really like to know if anyone else with ADHD feels this way.

What are your best tips to slow down your brain, fight anxiety and actually overcome paralysis?

I will give you some context, feel free to skip it. Sorry in advance but English is not my first language.

Last year I got my ADHD diagnosis, after years of suspicion. I am unmedicated (always been) because it seemed not necessary, so I "went with the flow".

A few months later I realised that research could never be "my field", because of the level of commitment it is expected for the job, because most of the tasks require me to do things I HATE doing (I can't emphasize it enough) and I was never able to overcome the difficulties. Moreover, It requires constant "mind work", and I cannot take any more of it.

I decided, at the beginning of my third PhD year, that I wanted to abandon this path. Unfortunately I couldn't do it because it required me to pay a lot of money (that I don't have).

Now, I am stuck. At 9 days from the actual finish line. I have 80% of the thesis written, but I have to review it all to adjust "the language". I am spending my days on the couch, constantly thinking about it but never being able to open the file and start working on it. I'm constantly feeling "uncomfortable in my whole body", with trembling and weak sensation everywhere for anxiety. Every email or notification makes my heart drop because I'm fearing solicitation and confrontation.

I can't find a way to calm myself and actually start (to finally finish). My usual strategies are not working.

F21. diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD (at age 16/17). I feel like im going through an identity crisis. I don’t know how or why I got here or why I am who I am or why I like what I like and even if I like or enjoy anything at all sometimes. Sometimes people tell me that I have autism (tested multiple times but never diagnosed), but even people with autism seem to be birds of a feather. I feel like I have no feathers. When I was 11 a parent passed away and at that time I only cried once and it was more so about the concept of not having a parent rather than about the parent (they were a good parent, I was not abused). It is hard for me to pay attention to details and keep up. when I watch movies I cannot identify the meaning sometimes unless I read what others think. I do well in school though. do I truly feel empathy for others or do I tell myself it is what I am supposed to feel? am I a sociopath? I don’t know what’s going on but I feel malleable and afraid.

extra context might help:
twin sister (fraternal) has autism/intellectual delay but is somewhat independent
brother has autism and nonverbal

Don’t want to make a fuss out of this but I’m on the wrong meds…I’m worried of the long term side effects, I needed to try stimulants to see if it will make a difference but instead I’m on antipsychotics when I have no reason to be…how do you go about trying correct this if anyone has been in a similar position?

Hello, I have moderate combined ADHD, DCD and anxiety. I really want to get on ritalin as i believe it will help with attention/focus, distractibility and overactive mind. The only thing is that I have had a psychotic episode in my past that was a singular event caused by drug use. I think i will ask psychiatrist for a low starting dose to make sure i don’t have psychotic symptoms. What yall think?

I was diagnosed 20 years ago and am almost 30 I have been trying to be a real adult as my parents would say. I moved out a year ago. Got my own apartment, got a really good job. On paper I’m crushing it. In reality I am falling apart. I hate office work but seems to be the only jobs I can get I can’t make myself care about this job no matter how much money or how many opportunities they hand me. I can’t manage my time and am constantly behind. I don’t get here on time and have been progressively later every day. I have medication but forget to take it or get it refilled. Have been put on pips at previous jobs/ always in hot water. Before quitting. I fear that this will be the outcome for this role as well. My gf is supportive but I know If I fail she will leave. I want to to feel successful and fulfilled in life but can’t get out of my own way. I just want to ski and bike and that seems to be the only thing I’m reliable for. I’m looking for any advice possible. I don’t want to make excuses. I want to find solutions.

I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed by this lately and wanted to ask if this is an ADHD thing, or if it's just me.
I feel like no matter how hard I try, I struggle so much with making deep, lasting connections. It constantly feels like I’m standing on the outside looking in. Even when I’m in a group of people or trying to build a relationship, I feel like I'm just there, but not actually part of it. It’s like there's this invisible wall between me and everyone else, and I can't seem to break through to get past the surface level.
On top of that, I always feel left out or forgotten about if I'm not the one constantly reaching out first. It’s exhausting, and it honestly makes me want to isolate myself because trying so hard and failing hurts.
Does anyone else experience this with their ADHD? How do you deal with the feeling of never truly fitting in or breaking through to people? I’d love to hear your experiences or any advice. Thank you.

I have an issue with my forgetfulness. I will feel troubled by something, then I will go through a thought process. Basically this is reasoning it out and coming to the conclusion that things will work out in this sort of way or that things are OK.

But I forget it all the time and have to start from scratch every time. Because my way of thinking is linear, like a tree branching off and off and every time, I’m forced to start at the first branch.

What would you call this sort of thing? Does it have a term? I know there's something called associative thinking but that's mainly related to the branch aspect.

So i take my methylphenidate at morning 9 am or 10 am everyday, but it only starts to work at 1pm or 2 pm like the time gap it starts to work is 3-4 hours why does it take so much time to work for me am i doing something wrong, i have tried it with both food and without food it takes 3-4 hours to work and it is inconvenient cause soon my cllg will at 8 am that means i will have to take this medicine at 5 am or something so it starts to work at 8 am and help me with lectures is there are any tips or Tricks to make it work faster????

I take extended-release Concerta in the morning, and then usually take 20 mg of Ritalin in the afternoon when the Concerta starts to wear off.

I’ve noticed that almost every time the Ritalin kicks in, I get this really peaceful, warm, fuzzy feeling that seems to spread throughout my entire body. I suddenly feel really happy and almost euphoric, and it’s honestly one of the best feelings ever. The strange thing is that it only lasts for about five minutes before going away.

Does anyone know what this might be or why it happens?

I'm straight out of grad school, I'm struggling to find work. I found a job that pays terrible, there's no real opportunities to learn or grow. It's just a dead-end job. Given the market, I'm grateful to have a paycheck at all. At the same time, I'm terribly nervous because I've worked jobs I didn't like before and I would get incredibly stressed and just burn out over nothing.

So, I thought I'd ask on here. Your hacks for getting through the elusive " How to get through something you don't want to do? " but it's half 40 hours of your week.

I kept forgetting to ask my doctor about increasing my meds to help with my period. I saw someone else's post that was talking about it literally five minutes before my telehealth appointment.

He is such a cool dude and we figured out a plan and as soon as my pharmacy fills my script I'm hoping to stop being such a lose canon the week before!

I know a lot of people struggle with meds. And I genuinely feel for you. Getting on meds that work has helped me significantly. I'm 37 and part of me is sad and angry that I missed out on decades of stability or less intense issues because no one else wanted to listen.

The psychiatrist who diagnosed me kept being in shock at every appointment that I went so long undiagnosed. I'm not an overtly obvious case, but I'm definitely not masking my ADHD well.

So, I just wanted to thank y'all for reminding me!