I’m a first time mom (F28) (Diagnosed/Medicated) baby is 1 year old (extremely attached to me and clingy)
Husband (31M) main/only provider

So our whole marriage issues are basically house chores and anything related to me doing my part.

I’m reaaaally trying my best but at some point my husband’s expectations regarding me are just unrealistic and I keep burning out and get mental breakdowns every two days.

I started to shout whenever I feel annoyed and my physical health is so miserable. No fun. No friends. My screen time is less than 3 hours (huge difference)

I literally have no life and I keep crying everyday or every single night. I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety ofc.

AND THIS MAN KEEPS COMPLAINING ABOUT ME NOT BEING CHEERFUL!

From his pov he’s only asking me to be full time mom and doing all house chores and be cheerful and pretty. I lashed out last night and I told him this is too much and I just can’t do everything all at once without failing at something so miserably or losing my physical and mental health.

I want a divorce because at this point I think he just wants to be served. He barely helps. He pays the bills and bought the house but I don’t think he understands that this lifestyle is just hell for me. Although I really want to be a stay home mom and enjoy my hobbies but i just can’t. And I don’t have a plan or I have nothing to think about tbh because my thoughts are scattered and I just want to relax and process this.

I just want your advice and how can I be a happy stay home mom without being miserable from house chores and routine? Or should I accept my fate and get a job and a helper?

So after a while of advocating for myself to get diagnosed, I finally did about a month ago. Since then I’ve tried two different medications, Ritalin IR 10-20mg, and Adderall IR 5-10mg which I’m on currently.

My psychiatrist is currently on leave for two weeks, so I figured I’d ask this community for some insight in the meantime.

With the Ritalin IR, I felt less fatigued than I usually am along with jitters, tachycardia, and anxiety. I really didn’t notice much difference, if any, at all with my ADHD symptoms.

Luckily my psychiatrist gave me the option to switch to Adderall IR. I started at 5mg x2 daily for a week, now I’m on 10mg morning, and 5mg afternoon. I space my doses about 4 hours apart. The Adderall seems to be more tolerable. I feel calmer, don’t get high heart rate spikes, and am not as anxious. I do get pretty tired though, like I could take a nap.

I’m still not sure my executive function issues are being addressed though. I still struggle with motivation for tasks, task initiation, focus, and the usual ADHD primary inattentive symptoms.

I knew that medication isn’t a magic pill that will fix everything. Over the years I’ve developed coping skills such as reminders, timers, knowing my limits, etc., so I manage okay, but I know I’m not living up to my full potential, and need to put in a lot more effort than a normal person. I’m pretty disappointed that I didn’t have one of those reactions that I see on this sub where people will say “it was like putting on glasses for the first time”, and they knew the difference immediately.

It has me questioning if I’m even diagnosed correctly, and I feel discouraged to keep dealing with the medication crashes. Has anyone had a similar experience to mine, if so, how did things work out?

Well, I‘m only on my third day of this medication and yes - it helps me with the usual things, like initiating action, getting out of bed, concentrating. Overall life feels more silent.

BUT today I feel like I‘m always close to an angry outburst. I know these pills work activating in the body and on the nervous system and since I‘m also struggling with anxiety and depression, these effects might double my issues.

I‘m also tiltrating zoloft atm which I know increases anxiety and irritability in the beginning too. But actually I was hoping it would even out the problems I have with the stimulants.

Can anyone share their experience with anger/anxiety and stimulants? Could you work it out after a while? Is this just early side effects that will vanish? I‘m kinda desperate cause I feel I could really use the help of Medikinet.

My sister has been claiming to have adhd for a while now. She has been professionally tested for it and she doesn’t have it. She claims that our parents reporting portion of testing her was “just a few points off”, but I know my parents scored her very liberally, both because they have done my assessments in the past and because they outright told me they scored her this way. I was diagnosed in elementary school. She has never understood my struggle and has infantilized me for it my whole life and still treats me like a child because of my symptoms. She criticizes me for taking adderall and treats it like a recreational drug. She has also said she doesn’t need it and would never take it. She acts like my struggles with adhd are a personal shortcoming because she “also has adhd” and she doesn’t relate. She has never understood my struggles at all and her belief that she also has adhd just further cements her idea that my symptoms of adhd are just a problem with me. She treated me like an idiot for so much of my childhood because I couldn’t get the grades she could and because she couldn’t understand why I needed extra support. I’ve always felt like I was inferior because of how she treated me, and I still kinda do because of how she treats me now. I always felt like I needed to prove her wrong and now people acting like she has ADHD as much as I do just feels like a slap to the face. I’ve made peace with myself by realizing I just have ADHD and I’m not stupid, but now her saying she also has it and still doesn’t understand, is like saying I actually am as stupid as she thinks I am. I’m just so frustrated with her and needed to vent.

Just thinking of the portion of the population that might be getting left behind because of barriers that prevent them from accessing technology?

I’m trying to put together a resource on how to get a mental health care plan from your gp(in Australia you get 10 free psychologist appointments with a mental health care plan from your gp).

I’m wondering if there should be an adhd specific resource also…

I (25f) bought some ear defenders because I’ve been going through immense sensitivity to noises and I tried them and oh my god.

Lately the volume of the tv, chewing, footsteps, breathing, dishwasher noise ect. has been rage inducing. I go through periods like this where my hearing feels supersonic and everything hurts my ears.

Put them on and I can think, my anxiety is cut in half, and I can sit quietly and calmly for longer than 5 minutes. I highly recommend if you’re easily overstimulated by noise.

The noise. All! The! Time!! Every waking moment. There's always some music playing, might be in the background, but it's there. And the 'voices' (=my thoughts, imaginary conversations, memories of conversations, plans for next day ect)....

If it all gets too irritating and I can not use a headset, I just 'play' The Muppets' Mahna Mahna song real loud inside my head. For some reason this song is super catchy but not aggravating to me - just silly, fun, and simple enough to erase some of the clutter momentarily. Works like white noise 😅 There's the bit where the 'lead singer' tries to go off the rails and improvise and the two whatevers are just like nooooo get back in line you and mahnamahna... 🎵

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb47CstE7R4

(if you don't know this song maybe don't watch? you might hate it, super sticky, apologies)

I was diagnosed a couple of years ago (inattentive), but have since been laid off and ended up on a state health plan. Since I’m running out of medication and don’t have a PCP, I found a service that does medication management.

My first appointment via Zoom just felt like a diagnosis session, and now they’re asking me to complete a Creyos assessment. Now I’m worried they’re basically trying to rediagnose me.

After reading about the assessment, it seems like there’s a lot of pattern recognition type questions, which I’ve always been good at (it’s also a huge part of why I’m good at my job).

Can they rediagnose me? Will it invalidate my previous diagnosis? If I cancel will my insurance charge me for what’s already been done? I’m honestly not sure where to go from here.

Hello! I have combined type ADHD and, after years of seeking treatment that actually worked for me, was finally prescribed medication (Vyvanse) for it earlier this year. Simply put, this medication changed my life. Prior to my treatment, I was extremely unmotivated, my executive dysfunction made it impossible to be productive. and I struggled a lot with emotional dysregulation and a low self esteem. I’ve been on meds for 3 months now, and my productivity and overall mood have done a complete 180. I feel energized, motivated, highly focused, and my mood and self image have also improved greatly. However, I have also noticed a few characteristics of my mental state appear to mimic what a manic state looks like. I don’t have bipolar disorder, but I just want to know if these symptoms are to be expected with stimulant use and if there could be a downside. I function best off of just a few hours of sleep, my self esteem is VERY elevated (not to the point of being self obsessed or narcissistic, moreso just feeling like I’m capable of anything and appreciating myself more than I ever have before), my mood is highly euphoric, my thoughts and speech are very rapid and tend to jump from one thing to the next, and I sometimes focus too much on unimportant things. Granted, NONE of these symptoms are a bad thing. Every single one of them has been positive for my day to day life overall minus the focusing too much on unimportant things, which I think might just be something I need to address from a mindset framework. That being said, I’m just wanting to understand if my medication is working the way it is intended and if I should have any concerns, and if anyone else shares a similar experience. Thank you!

EDIT: it is also worth mentioning I drink a LOT of energy drinks. Like, overload my brain with caffeine quite a bit… yeah I might have a problem.

I came to this realization this week as my boss, Mark, is out sick. Ive been in my current position for 3+ years now. And was originally really excited to do it. I was fresh out of uni, the job was right time right place kind of thing. Am I super underpaid with the work that I do? Absolutely. It's way below the standard rate in my area. But I genuinely enjoy it. And Im great at it.

And Ive noticed the last year or so that Mark has been spoiling my mood by just existing in the same room as me. He's the kind of person who will subconsciously create a problem so he can fix it and feel needed (imo). Everytime he talks or gives instructions, it irritates me and sometimes makes me irrationaly angry.

He has a lot of impossible expectations and has sometimes sabatoged our team so he can play the hero. He is also pretty unqualified for his position. He's only there bc of seniority, and bc of a weird agreement he has with the company (they pay for his housing and kids private schooling if he works for them)

I find him and my entire situation very irritating and frustrating.

The week he's been gone has been a dream. Huge project needed to be done? I co-led with my coworker and it went great. There's no additional stress. I'm actually enjoying my work and tasks again. Im not on edge that he might be around. Im not actively avoiding his presence bc hes not even here. I feel like I can breathe.

And the reason I posted here is bc 1. Im diagnosed and 2. I'm a firm believer in the saying "it takes one to know one" and my god he's a poster child for Classic ADHD. Someone Im close to mentioned that I might have a strong dislike for him bc I recognize the traits he has as my own. I did the work to navigate this diagnosis. And I feel like he's so oblivious to it. I have 0 idea what to do.

Hello all! What else can I do to manage my adhd? 33M. I used to take medication but stopped for the past 3 years. Im debating on getting back on it. Until then im trying to find other ways to manage. I exercise every day. Even holidays and birthdays, I get sun light every morning, I practice yoga, breathwork, meditation. I take vitamins and proper supplements. I go to therapy every week and have for years. I limit screen time, i try to eat right. I read books, try to learn so my brain is stimulated positively. I limit my caffeine intake. I set reminders, make a million lists, have 12 notebooks for every aspect of life, Ive done and do all the work and all the stuff your told to do. Dont get me wrong, all of this has helped immensely, but it isn't enough. At least thats how it feels. It seems that going back on medication is the only other option. Any suggestions on what else to do? Thanks!

recently started on adderall xr and learned that citrus does not mix well with my meds, which has made me realize how much acid I consume (just had a salad with a vinaigrette dressing this morning before I realized).

I'm not a huge fan of coffee in the first place, seeing that green tea is better than black, but what have people been doing to deal with their acid cravings? Mints are okay but not the same type of sour refreshing, and is it all acid that interferes with adderall?

Hi folks,

Hope everyone’s doing okay.

I just wanted to ask whether anyone else struggles with existential depression or that constant feeling of dread about life and existence.

I’ve felt like I’ve had this cloud hanging over me for as long as I can remember. I try my best to accept it and carry on as normal, but honestly, it can be pretty horrible at times.

One thing I’ve noticed is that Elvanse completely takes it away. For a few hours, I feel free from those thoughts and can just get on with life without overthinking everything. But as it starts to wear off, the feelings gradually creep back in, and I’m back to struggling with it all over again. It’s exhausting, to be honest.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who experiences something similar. How do you manage it? Have you found any strategies or ways of coping that genuinely help?

Any advice or shared experiences would be massively appreciated.

Thanks

Is anyone living with a partner post diagnosis and they still don’t seem to believe or understand it? If so, how have you turned things around?

Similar story as many of you - not diagnosed until 55. “Off the chart initiative ADHD”, according to my doctor. Also diagnosed with feedback dysphoria. That’s led to be being labeled “overreactive” for most of my life.

Earlier in life in the 1970s, my mother tried to get me diagnosed, but I was not physically hyperactive. What they didn’t understand in those days was that it was my mind that was hyperactive. I went on being labeled as obviously intelligent, but a “daydreamer” lazy and the classic “just try hard harder.” now that I’m on meds and finally have a framework to explain my behavior, life is much better in general.

One of the most positive developments over the last few years is I broke through the ceiling at work and have been elevated to a leadership position, which were not possible before.

One remaining challenge is I’ve been with my current partner for 16 years.

She’s the opposite of ADHD - very disciplined, she has maintained positive habits for 20 or 30 years. She overcame a very violent and sad childhood to become senior vice president of the large bank so I think she feels anyone who isn’t successful just doesn’t try hard enough.

I’ve shared articles and other resources to help explain my behavior, but her reaction kind of tells me she still thinks it’s complete bullshit. I’ve explained these are not meant as an excuse at all but an explanation. Just this week she told me she’s frustrated because she’ll tell me things and I don’t seem to be listening or remember. This is generally first thing in the morning before meds or coffee, to me that shows she still doesn’t buy my diagnosis. therefore in some ways I’m still masking at home.

Any advice?

[Note: parts of this were posted as a reply to a previous post]

Okay so I was washing my hands and realized I said something outta pocket and shocked myself.

Let me start from the beginning: sometimes, I dissociate and have conversations with myself (maybe in my subconscious or something?) and so I’m not actually part of the conversation, I just hear the conversation in my head. But then I’ll catch myself saying something absolutely absurd and realize I was having a conversation with myself and have NO CLUE what the conversation was about. Does anyone else do this or is it just me? I asked my mom, who also has ADHD, and she said she’s never done that before.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult and still trying to figure out everything that is ADHD, so I have no clue if this is normal or I’m just weird? Lmfao.

Currently: 18mg concerta ER and 3mg guanfacine for ADHD-I, US based

The 18mg isn't working and its making me irritable which is not my usual self. I like guanfacine and feel it helps with my emotional sensitivity.

Psych had suggested maybe a combo of guanfacine and either Prozac or Trintellix or another stimulant.

Hoping to get people's experience if they have tried these meds including any other stim. Weighing my options for our next appt.

Edit to add: recently diagnosed so trying to understand why some meds not indicated for ADHD are options and how they may work IRL.

She did say trintellix will be generic but it wont be until 2027 it looks like (comes off patent Dec 2026) so I would be using samples because I dont think I can afford out of pocket for that med.

i’m sure we’re all aware of the idea that “therapy and getting a diagnosis is a privilege”, well i do agree with the statement because of the financial and resource aspect , i don’t think it’s something that i have to consistently acknowledge.

The reason for this is that I don’t think it takes away from the issue, so whatever diagnosis you have doesn’t disappear completely because of therapy.

Another reason being that as a late diagnosed women with ADHD, i have a bit of resentment knowing that this would have been a helpful diagnosis 10+ years earlier and i obviously have to live with this disorder for life so i can’t really acknowledge therapy as a privilege consistently, here and there sure because i am grateful that my mom has the financial capacity to pay for therapy.

also in the context of university, there are student resources, if you choose not to engage with that, that’s on you.

but what are your thoughts on this notion?

I started Elvanse 30mg last summer and went up to 40mg after 2 months. For about 5 months it was great. I was back to my hobbies, productive at home, clear-headed, in a routine, and finally doing things I’d been desperate to do for years.

Around spring I started feeling low and off, which was weird since spring is usually when I feel best (I get seasonal depression). I’m also autistic, so I wondered if it was burnout and cut my demands right back, but things kept slipping. Starting anything felt really hard, my routine fell apart, and I was doing hobbies just to make time pass.

My prescriber and I agreed to try 50mg last month. It feels a tad easier, and I’ve got the basics of my routine back, but I’m still barely functional and one medium-effort task wipes me out for the rest of the day. A typical day is meds at 10, an hour of friction to get going, self-care by 12, then a 1-2 hour dog walk, and I’m a tired heap by 2 or 3. I try food and/or caffeine but it doesn't help much. I was managing all this and more in those first 5 or so months.

My sleep is decent (I take medication for it) and I know my meds work less when I don’t eat or sleep well, so I try to look after both. I can’t tell if this is the meds, burnout, depression or even something else. I think the low mood is partly because I got a taste of what my life could look like, and now I'm back to almost square 1 which is really really tough.

My follow-up is in a couple of days and I feel a bit lost with it all. If you’ve been here or experienced something similar, I’d love any advice or insight.

Does anyone else experience the phenomenon where you feel unable to do something that you want to do if someone else around you does it first, or appears to be better or more committed than you? Even when there's absolutely no competition or reason for you not to also do the thing?

A few examples...

My spouse and I have a lot of the same interests, which is really nice, and most of the time I'm happy and awed to have a talented partner who can do so many things that I also enjoy doing. We both write fiction for example. But sometimes I struggle to write and latch onto the idea that there's no point since my spouse is better and able to do it more often. Similarly, we started going to the gym at the time, I fell off because of a shoulder injury and now I'm struggling to get back to it because even when we were both going, they had the executive function to go more often than I did and I compare myself.

Outside of my marriage it still happens. I wanted to start giving singing lessons - not for income, so no real stakes at play - but then someone I'm acquainted with said she was going to do that so now I feel like I can't do it, even though I know that she wouldn't mind.

Is it a form of demand avoidance? I don't know. I really want to work on it.

I was taking Qelbree for a few months and was shocked at how great my body felt. I thought I was just getting better and all my aches and pains had magically gone away (I have a herniated disc and a lot of migrating pain from nerve damage). Cut to week 2 of no meds and I feel like shit again and everything hurts. I’ve read that ADHD meds can alter the way our bodies perceive pain/inflammation and would love to hear other people’s positive stories if you’ve also experienced this.

Unfortunately Qelbree didn’t work for me because of heart-related issues but I’m trialing Intuniv next. So if anyone has specific experience with guanfacine I’d love to hear it too!

And I like it.

In the sense that there might be "disorder" around me - something others might perceive as frightening or terrible -for me, it’s not just "normal"; I often don’t even understand why they react that way. Their reactions I find endearing.

There’s also the fact that I cannot work for someone else. No matter how many times I’ve tried, the only times I’ve been successful were when I created my own project and worked for myself.

I see no point in denying this in any way. It’s just: well, "strange" -like tilting at windmills.

hello!! i had a journey with concerta for months and currently i have 54 mg. i've been forgetting to take them but theres a effect that i have everytime i take them. i feel so empty that i feel like i need to eat a lot and even after i eat, i am not having any fullness. i do stuff and work done somehow? but i dont know if its thanks to pills effect or i am doing things to forget about that hunger? i also feel like i am tired when i got them. its effect goes after 6 hours with this feeling. other than these, it has no improvement good or bad on me. i still got no idea what should i expect from meds too, since i havent got the "brain on silent mode" effect yet

does anyone feel that way while taking concerta?

Like the title, i just have trouble remembering the past. Idk if it's adhd thing or just me, but it's so hard to recall anything before i was 14, and I'm still only 18 so that's concerning.

Last week, my friends and i just played truth or dare, i picked truth and got asked "What's the most embarrassing misunderstanding you've ever been in?" And i know damn well I've had one before, but i can't remember. I just sat there trying to remember my life which probably took too awkwardly long until someone asked "you wanna skip this one?"....."yeah"

If possible, please comment some mean sounding advice or just criticize me. Maybe it will help me not to care so much. I had a fight with my partner today because of my rsd and I really think I messed up. He told me he was tired of me and was scared to tell me so because of how I would react( mostly when rejected in any kind of way I tend to cry a lot.)
Please help!

ive been struggling with it for years since my childhood i couldn't keep myself in place for more than 15 minutes Im in 10th grade rn and preparing for my exams but the thing is I can do a certain subject more than 30 minutes I just switch to another one and leave the previous unaccomplished so any advice for it I also overthink it contributes to me getting tired and less productive repetitive thoughts so any advice ?