TW: Talks of cancer and infertility

Hey everyone. I just need somewhere to vent. I’m angry and I’m bitter.

I’m 28 years old, turning 29 this coming Monday and I was diagnosed with cancer two days ago. Ovarian cancer and it’s spreading… fast. I have two tumors on both ovaries, a tumor in my cervix that has pushed its way into my rectum, and a spot forming on my liver.

Want to know the cherry on top? My husband and I JUST decided to start trying for a baby in June. I have PCOS so trying to conceive was already going to be very difficult and now I have to battle ovarian cancer?! What fun timing, right? Not that there is ever a good time to get cancer, but why now? My life was just starting to get really good and I was so excited for our future. We were so happy and I loved my life. Now our lives are going to change forever and it feels so unfair.

I’m. Just. So. Angry.

Hi everyone, this will be my final update. 

For anyone who hasn't seen my posts about this before, both my previous posts are on my profile. They are the only posts so should be easy to find.

I had my 4th and final time waiting for court, and it actually happened this time, and in the end....my grandma didn't even have to testify. Almost 4 years of my life going through the investigation and waiting for court dates, I gave my evidence and I held my own in court. Unfortunately, the verdict was not guilty. It shocked everyone, including myself. We were all so sure that it was going to be a guilty verdict. It just wasn't in the cards I guess. I can move on with my life though. 

I also wanted to clear something up from my previous posts. I got the reason wrong with my mum "allowing" me to be in the same house as my uncle when she knew what he was like. The short answer is, she didn't know. She had told my grandma repeatedly that he was not allowed to be in the house while I was staying, she was adamantly against it. I did not remember or even really know about this at the time of my first post and even my update. She has since explained it to me and told me about all the arguments her and my grandma had when she found out he was allowed to stay in the house while I was there. I had no clue it was such a big problem because to me he'd been staying around a lot and it was all fine until he did what he did. 

This may not have been the verdict I had hoped for, but it's still the outcome I'd hoped for. Me taking him to court, not backing down no matter what happened has apparently put the fear of god into him and he has vowed to my grandma that nothing like this will ever happen again, he will also never take drugs or get anywhere near as drunk as he was on the night it happened. This information has only came to me through my grandma though so I am taking it with a small pinch of salt. 

All in all, I'm just glad it's over and I can move on with my life, I have my degree to focus on, I have an incredible group of friends, a supportive family and an exciting new chapter to my life as I navigate being single for the first time in almost three years 😂 (the breakup happened 3 months ago, but I'm still figuring out life as a Single woman).

 I am content in what happened and I know that no matter what, no matter how tough life gets, no one can tell me I'm not strong ASF because if I can wait all this time, hold my own in court against my uncle who I once loved, going against my grandma who is one of the people I love most in the world, and come out the other side still excited for life, then, and excuse my French, I can do fucking anything. 

Once again a huge thank you for all the love, support and advice on my previous posts and to my fellow survivors, you are all so strong. Keep fighting, do what you need to do and don't let anyone tell you how you get to feel about your experiences ❤️

TLDR: Grandma never had to testify, I held my own in court, not guilty verdict but I am content with the outcome

I’m in my early twenties, and my younger brother is nine years old and autistic. I’ve been resentful toward him for years, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve actually had to go back to therapy because of it, and i can’t believe this is my life.

For some context, my parents have always wanted children, and I don’t think they regret having him. However, I do feel bad for them sometimes because I know raising a child with additional needs can be challenging in their early 50s.

My parents are in denial thinking he’ll have a completely independent adult life but by the looks of it that might not be the case.

He’s considered high-functioning, but he still has speech difficulties and stims frequently. He repeats words and sounds over and over again, and he’s been doing this for years and often has issues understanding boundaries. He also can have frequent meltdowns when he doesn't get his way. When he was younger, it was worse because he would randomly scream, including in public. I remember feeling embarrassed to be around him in stores, and I was ashamed to bring him up around friends or family. Those feelings never went away.

As he’s gotten older, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly resentful. He’s not a bad kid. However, I struggle immensely with tolerating the constant stimming and repetitive sounds and the constant yelling. I get irritated just being around him when he does so and I don’t know why.

There are also certain things that happened when I was younger involving him that have stuck with me, which is part of why I feel this way.

My parents have recently expressed that they want me to be more involved in his life. They don’t force me to be his caregiver or expect me to spend every waking moment with him, but they do want me to spend more time with him than i already do. When I was younger I did have to take on that mother role and I would say it kind of traumatized me in a way. Since I left for college that has stopped of course when i lived on campus.

The problem is that I’ve reached a point where I strongly dislike babysitting him, being with him, or driving him places when it’s just the two of us because I know I’ll have to listen to the yelling the entire time.

I’ve already told my parents that when I’m older, I don’t want to be his caregiver. Since he’s my only sibling and my parents are getting older, I worry that the responsibility will eventually fall entirely on me. They say it won’t be a problem now but when he becomes and adult I know they’ll start having an issue with it knowing how they are. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling obligated to care for him. It’s something I worry about all the time.

I’ve isolated myself at home. I’m currently commuting to college from home, partly because I want to save money, whilst working part time. My parents want me to move back closer to school, and honestly, I would love to have that independence. However, I also want to save as much money as possible while I’m in college for future tuition.

But I’m constantly exposed to the stimming at home. I wear headphones throughout the day just to avoid hearing it, spend most of my time in my room, and generally try to keep to myself. I feel like I’m becoming isolated in my own home because I can’t handle the constant noise.

I rarely talk about my brother with my friends. Most of them don’t even know he’s autistic because I hardly ever bring him up. Nor do I invite them to my place because I don’t want them seeing him. I feel guilty for doing this.

It’s just been getting harder to deal with and be around him as I get older, sometimes I wish this wasn’t my life.

Hello, I hope everyone’s doing okay. I literally never use this app, so if I got this wrong, please do tell me.
Right. So. I think I might have Factitious Disorder. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, but I’ve (consciously, I think) convinced my professionals, as well as literally everybody around me, that i also have ASPD and cyclothymia.
It started when I was 11. As far as I remember, I’ve always been a massive liar. I’ve always felt so empty, that, at first, I was mostly “making up” for the gap I noticed. Over the years, I developed a story, symptoms, behaviors, and I took so much joy into it. I know so much disorders almost by heart, and I would pick which one “fit” me most.
Well, now I can’t back down, and I do not think I really want to (I do not feel bad or self-conscious about any of this), and all I do everyday is cultivate this persona of ruined mental health (notably by self harming purely out of boredom).
I fake mood swings, I fake cry, I fake flashbacks, and it makes me laugh. I am not trying to flex, above all else, I am so confused. Utterly confused. I wonder why I’m like this. It doesn’t bother me, I just want to know why. Please do not diagnose me, I simply felt the need to put this somewhere.

My (37F) partner (M45), is very close to his related by previous marriage niece (19F). I love that he is so close with his nieces and nephews, but he completely ignores me if he is with her, or if she comes to visit. I mean, it's like I'm dead to him if she's around. She's very cuddly with him, curling up in his lap, and falling asleep on him. I haven't ever seen anything innappropriate, really, but it really eats at me. There isn't a person in this world that I would ignore him for, so being brushed aside the moment she steps through the door is very frustrating. He also gets stupid protective about her in public, when men look at her, but everyone knows she gets around town and cheats on her boyfriend.

I'll probably get hate for feeling this way, and sometimes I hate myself for it, but I can't help it.

I'm 5'4, balding, and embarrassingly, my dick is covered in these bulging, blue veins. There is just nothing appealing or normal about me from top to bottom. I just can't fathom enduring another 60 or however many years I have left in a body that is so broadly undesirable in pretty much every way. I'm so drained that I can't even express myself properly. I'd like to accurately convey just how stigmatized I am but it's so universal I don't even feel capable right now. Everyone thinks this way, or at least enough do that the difference is negligible. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be shoved into a body that is ridiculed relentlessly, makes me invisible when it comes to dating and socializing, and that people generally view with disdain and disgust. I can't even go for walks. I don't see any men like myself in groups socializing with other people or with women. All the fucking men are tall. People don't engage with me. When you don't belong like I do there is just no point to life. I just can't fucking take it anymore. I want this to end.

We’re both women, if that’s relevant. Together over a decade, but the snoring started about 5 years in. I have to give her a nudge repeatedly through the night to get her to switch positions. Sometimes I move downstairs if nothing changes. Sometimes she moves if she doesn’t appreciate being nudged multiple times. She’s had a sleep study done - no apnea. She’s been trying to lose weight almost as long as we’ve been together. She’s tried nose strips, but that didn’t work. Same with retainers, mouth tape, tongue holders, etc. I wake up with a headache if I sleep with headphones in to block out the noise. She can’t fall asleep if there’s music/white noise playing over a speaker.

The latest development is asking for her to have a special sleep guard made by her dentist. Apparently it’s stopped my mom’s snoring in its tracks. The dentist won’t do it without another sleep test. Our benefits will cover all of these things, but she hasn’t taken any steps towards them. We have a toddler which presents another layer of sleep complexity and I’m getting close to my wits end about it (which she knows). I legitimately don’t know what else there is to do. It’s not her fault, but it also is, you know? And sometimes I’m just mad and frustrated about it.

ETA: Lots of people suggesting sleeping in different rooms. We only live in a two bedroom place. One is ours and the other is our kid’s. Sleeping on the couch downstairs isn’t a feasible long term solution

I don't know where else I can say this. I hope either heaven isn't real or reincarnation is.

I have a 8 year old Golden Retriever with terminal cancer and it is killing me inside to have to immagine her alone. We don't have any family members in heaven who she knows and she would be so alone. She's my little side kick, she is so skittish and nervous and i can't immagine her up there alone.

I hope either she comes back to earth and never remembers us or there is nothing after death.

The thought of her having to wait 20+ years to have a companion back with her in Heaven kills me. She would feel so abandoned and packless and there is no way to tell her, we are still here, we are still thinking about her and we will come for her one day.

Our other golden retriever passed in 2023 at 16.5 years old and our flat coat retriever passed in 2009 at 12 years old and I have always taken comfort in knowing my Grandad is looking after them. But Spacey has never met him, she doesn't know him, she knows Honey and she would be so happy to see honey again but I also know she would wonder where we have gone.

I also hope it could be like they loose all memory of earth and they only remember you once you arrive with them , then the memorys come back So they never miss you while your away but find joy in your return.

\- know I sound insane and shes a dog but... all my dogs are my bestfriends and I never want them to suffer and I never want them to think I ever stop loving or missing them.

Hey, if you guys remember, I was the one who made the post a while ago about how I’m too afraid to poop anywhere other than my house, and how I’d sometimes hold it for a week.

Just a couple weeks ago, I made the decision to try and reverse the fear. Your support has encouraged me to try and fix it. Not with therapy or anything, but just simply going to the bathroom when I feel like it.

Now, listen, I don’t IMMEDIATELY poop it out, sometimes it still takes hours to do it, but I no longer wait a week to make it come out. Usually I poop every 3-4 days now.

I also forgot to mention that it was always my own family that’d try and make me use the bathroom when I held for too long, and I’d always try to resist going because I was scared it’d be constipated, but now I can go into the bathroom myself without my family telling me to do so.

I’m not sure if this will work or not, my goal is to overcome my fear so that I can poop wherever I feel like going (I want to travel around different countries, and for me to do that, I’ll have to poop in the hotel bathrooms)

I don't know why, but the thought of being blind genuinely terrifies me. Imagine never seeing the faces of people you love, sunsets, movies, or even the world around you. And for people who lose their sight after having vision, imagine knowing what you're missing.

I know there are other terrible things people go through, and I'm not trying to compare anyone's suffering. But the thought of never being able to see again is something I find genuinely horrifying.

I feel like the future seems so bleak with what's going on in the world. the rise of Al and the threat that poses, wars, cost of living, the climate crisis. It feels like the world is a pot on a stove and we are about to boil over to a point of no return. I really don't see the point anymore? I'm not particularly suicidal but I feel no hope for what's to come In life, so I just think what’s the point? I feel so bad for my loved ones and especially my niece, she's 1 and what kind of future will she have? surely I’m not the only one? I feel like I have an existential crisis when I hear the news.

Never put someone on a pedestal just because they call you their best friend.

I’ve been friends with this girl since 10th grade. It’s been almost 7 years.

We used to have a lot of conversations, and she would always tell me things like, “You’re my only friend,” “You’re my first priority,” and “You’re the only person I trust.”

I genuinely believed her. I used to think, Everyone deserves a best friend like this.

Her family is quite strict, and they don’t usually allow her to go on trips. She would tell me about this all the time, and I felt bad for her. So, I started planning trips with our school friends just for her. Sometimes, when nobody else was available, I was even ready to go on trips with just the two of us. We would go without telling anyone.

I always tried my best to make her happy. I made an effort to meet her whenever I could, planned things around her situation, and tried to make sure she never felt left out. I genuinely cared about her and wanted her to enjoy life, even with her family restrictions.

And she would always say the same things: “You’re the only person I trust,” “You’re the only one I want to go out with,” and all that.

I never thought twice about any of it. For me, she was my best friend, and I treated her like one.

But today, I realised something that genuinely hurt me.

I found out that she has another male best friend, a college friend, whom she apparently calls her first priority too. She tells him the same things she tells me, and she goes out and enjoys herself with him as well.

Now, I know that having other friends is completely normal. I’m not saying she can’t have other male friends or a life outside our friendship. That’s not the point.

What hurts is realising that the words I thought were special to our friendship might not have meant what I believed they did.

For seven years, I put so much care and effort into this friendship. I made plans for her, tried to meet her, considered her situation, and genuinely wanted her to be happy. I thought I was someone special in her life because of the things she told me.

And today, I’m sitting here feeling stupid for believing that I held the same place in her life that she held in mine.

Maybe I expected too much. Maybe I misunderstood our friendship. Maybe I was the one who gave it more importance than she did.

I honestly don’t know.

But it hurts when you realise that the person you considered your closest friend might not see you the same way.

My takeaway? Never blindly trust someone's words just because they call you their best friend. Watch their actions, understand where you stand in their life, and never lose yourself trying to be someone’s first priority.

I’m not saying all women are like this. I’m just hurt, disappointed, and trying to process seven years of a friendship that suddenly feels different to me.

I genuinely wish I hadn’t taken those words so seriously.

It's almost 2 AM. The accident was around 5 PM, and I can't stop replaying it. I was riding in my lane on the highway when a car turned into me.

Then I was sliding, head back, and I could see the cars coming at me as I went toward the right side of the road. Every one of them is getting closer.

All I could do was to close my eyes.

And what came up wasn't my family, or my life. It was the book I haven't finished. Then her face. Just her face, alone in the dark inside my helmet.

I don't know how long that lasted. It was seconds, but it felt like it wouldn't end.

Then I opened my eyes. I was in the middle of the highway, and people were running toward me.

I had proper gear on, and most of the slide happened on my backpack. A few scratches, and my legs are sore.

But I keep going back to the dark, and those two things. Maybe it's just what my brain grabbed when it thought I was done. Maybe it's what I felt like I could have done better, I'm not sure.

​

Hi everyone,

I honestly don't really know where to start. I just need to let this out as I am going crazy from stress and I don't have anyone to really talk to about it.

I've been working at a private clinic for about 3 years, and I've been struggling with my memory, attention, and procrastination for a while now. It's gotten progressively worse over the past few years, I'm not sure why, and I feel like I'm at a point where I can't keep up with things the way I should be able to.

One of the biggest issues is documentation. I've fallen so far behind on my paperwork, and I'm talking months behind, with some things going back over a year. Maybe more. I know how bad that it and honestly I'm feel deeply ashamed even writing that.

The main problem is that I kept putting things off or I half finished things. Then the backlog got bigger, which made me more overwhelmed, so I avoided it even more. And then it just kept getting worse and piling up. I don't even fully understand why I do this. It's like I know something needs to be done, I know it's important, and yet I cannot actually sit down and do it. And now I'm dealing with the consequences of that.

This week, it finally hit me just how far behind I actually am with my clients, like I felt I woke up from a dream and reality and dread just hit me hard. I've been an mess this whole week and have had a few breakdowns. I am thinking to myself worst case scenario. My first job i had to testify in court and they subpoenad my records and went through them. With this job, i just got really lazy. I've been crying on and off for the past two days. I'm so overwhelmed and scared, and I feel like my brain is completely scrambled.

I spoke with one of my practice leaders, and I found out there are other issues with my documentation too. Some things weren't documented correctly in terms of dates and how the notes line up with billing. I also apparently wasn't locking my notes properly after entering them, which means they weren't being initialed as required. My name is on them, but the required authentication is missing. I don't know when I started doing that and am going through records to see how far back this began.

So now I'm not only trying to catch up on a huge backlog, but I'm also trying to figure out how to address these other issues. I'm scared about what the consequences might be, and I feel sick thinking about how much I let pile up.

I'm not trying to make excuses for myself. I work in healthcare, and I know documentation is important. I know this is serious, and I know I need to fix it.

I've started making lists and slowly working through everything and prioritizing some clients. but it's so much. I still have my current caseload to manage, so I'm trying to keep up with new work while also catching up on everything I've neglected.

I'm trying to dig myself out of a hole that just keeps getting deeper.

I don't necessarily think I'm going to get fired, but I'm terrified of the consequences, and I know better so i cant even say i didnt know this was a problem. I know I can't keep going like this. Something needs to change because I can't let this keep happening again. My practice leader talked to me and said basically just improve going forward at this point since I can't go back. But I still feel terrified and not that comforted.

The other thing that's really bothering me is that my memory and attention seem to be getting worse. I genuinely don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I can't manage basic responsibilities that other adults seem to handle without this much difficulty. I keep asking myself why I didn't just do the paperwork when it was due, why I kept putting it off, and why I let it get to this point. Someone told me to look into an ADHD diagnosis but its only been maybe the past few years with this issue (am in my 30s) so I don't know if that diagnosis applies to me.

I feel so stupid and incompetent. I feel ashamed of myself. I know I need to take responsibility and work through this, and whatever consequences come my way i will have to deal with. I'm just so overwhelmed right now, and I feel like I've completely failed at my job. I needed somewhere to say all of this because I feel ashamed to tell people I actually know.

I feel incredibly stupid that I am not noticing these things and putting things off so much. I was so stressed that I didn't even eat yesterday and barely slept. I genuinely just am disappointed in myself and the lack of care I have been putting into this job and don't understand how I let things escalate this badly.

Last night, I dreamed I was with another woman. I can barely remember her face, just a few details about her appearance. Nothing sexual happened, at least not that I remember. What I do remember is the feeling. I felt deeply loved, like I finally had something I'd been missing my entire life. I also had friends who made me feel like I belonged, something I've never really experienced.

I have a girlfriend, so I feel guilty about the dream. But more than anything, I wish I could feel that kind of love and connection in real life. Waking up and losing something that felt so real was surprisingly painful.

Am I wrong for wanting a love like that while I'm already in a relationship? Does this make me a bad person, or does it mean there's something missing in my life? Has anyone else ever woken up from a beautiful dream feeling like they lost something they desperately wanted?

Hi,

I (F20) feel disgusted when I think about myself in sexual way. I feel disgusted when I do something sexual (masturbate, have sex etc). I feel disgusted especially when someone sees me getting pleasure.

For example when my ex f\*ngered me, I felt disgusting that he saw me getting pleasure from it. It feels dirty and embarrasing. And if we had sex I felt used. After it I always felt disgusted about him too cause I felt like he had used me. I felt disgusted that we shared this moment of pleasure together.

I hate that I have sexual urges. I hate if people see me in sexual way. I hate sexuality and I wish the world could be non sexual.

Idk whats wrong with me..

The title could be misleading but honestly, I feel so.

I never had a close friend. I never had a friend who I can call everyday and share my everything with. I never had someone like that. I sometimes think that it's normal, but imagine not having friends from your childhood.

My parents always switched places because of work. They never gave me phone until I came to college and so, I could never stay in touch with school friends. I never had a constant friend and it affects me so much.

Imagine, you have a something happening in your life and you have no one to share with, or atleast no one makes an effort to be happy about it. It feels empty.

I want to hear their story, their gossips, anything but something!!!

Not a single fucking person who you can enjoy with that hits your soul. I have friends. I might call some best friends but still, it doesn't feel the same.

I feel my supposed close friend probably died and now I grieve them when I try to search for that type of connections in others.

Originally this post was gonna be about how miserable I am and how im the only alive cause i keep gaslightining myself into thinking lifes getting better then I'd go on about everything bad in my life but half way through I realized that that's not what I want. I don't want to explain why I'm sad, I don't want to have a reason to be sad. I just want to be sad. But I also don't want to be sad alone. I want someone I can cry on call with. I don't want them to tell me that it's okay, I don't want them they to say it'll get better. I just wanna cry and know that someone hears me. That I'm real. I have friends but for one reason or another I can't turn to them. And my parents get angry when I'm sad for reasons that aren't valid to them. So I'm just left sobbing loudly all alone with no shoulder to cry on.

Why is it so difficult for me to get in a relationship?

I (F26) have met all kinds of guys, both abroad and in my home country, in person and through dating apps. With some of them, I wanted things to work out so badly that I tried to make things last for months, even when there were obvious incompatibilities. I’m talking about lifestyle choices and core values.
Looking back, I wonder why I was so convinced I liked these people and why I got so emotionally invested when we had practically nothing in common.

With the last guy I met, though, things could have genuinely gone somewhere. I could actually see things progressing, but this time, he was the one who pulled away.

Maybe I wasn’t good at opening up. I find it really hard to connect with people, I need time, and I’m very cautious when it comes to deeper feelings.
Other than that, I’m a pretty normal person. I’m reasonably attractive, I have healthy habits, and I’ve maintained long-term friendships. I come from a pretty dysfunctional family, but I wouldn’t say I’m toxic or emotionally unstable in relationships.
And yet, things keep falling apart.

What am I missing? I know there’s not enough information here for anyone to give me a definitive answer, but I’d really like to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.

Hi, I’m a 17 year old (F) in my junior year of high school.

I feel like I can never win, whether it be in math class, final grade on a test, late assignments, losing arguments, it’s just so humiliating.

Yesterday on Friday I was in my math class and we were working on content review. See I’m starting to like content review work only because I feel like i’m really starting to understand it. So my friend Tina was chosen to answer the first content review question so she asked me if I could teach her how to do it, I said sure. As i’m working out this problem i’m having fun because I UNDERSTAND IT. And so I help Tina fix some mistakes she made and she was good to go. The answer I got was 2. But i’m guessing because of the low self-confidence I displayed in it, she was iffy about my answer. That makes total sense, so she asked her friend Lou for the answer she has gotten for the same question. She said “Negative 1 1/2”

“is my answer really that wrong..?” I thought.

So I just sat there accepting defeat because I’m used to always losing arguments about who’s right. When it was time to start content review, Tina was first to answer. She chose to say Lou’s answer instead of mine.

“It’s -1 1/2”

As soon as she said negative, Ms. Till started howling. She exclaimed saying how wrong she was, it was funny. But then Tina said “Oh I actually got TWO answers, is it 2??”

Ms. Till was confused and checked her paper and verified she had the work for the answer of 2.

My answer was always correct. But I stayed feeling a little useless because I can never show any real confidence for my answers. I used to be thought of as a smart person because I wore glasses and am a 'good kid' i guess, but after kind of proving that I achieve the bare minimum I became just about clueless as everyone else.

I know I called myself “just as clueless as everyone else” but that's probably not actually the case for me. It’s like I know what to do, but I can’t explain why I’m right. It’s the same when it comes to expressing ideas or opinions, I just can never explain anything well enough, and throughout the years my friends have noted that and so I just shut up because no one ever really understands what I’m talking about. But it’s not their fault, it’s mine for not knowing how to speak clearly, and some of that is due to low self confidence in myself.

But due to me choosing to be silent, about a year or two ago, a friend noticed that and called me dry for being so vague with my answers. She is the kind of person who goes in depth about her ideas and opinions, she’s someone who is really well-spoken, not like anyone I've ever spoken to. That’s how I realized how terrible I am with my speech and how bad I am with words. I think the fact that I surround myself with smart people (not on purpose, their weirdness feels homey to me) doesn’t help.

I’ve always had a feeling that I walk with a sway since highschool, people laughing and giggling behind me , word gay being thrown out here and there and people giving me hints , to this day I have not got over this idk if it’s in my head or not, my family says they don’t see anything wrong with me but I get side eyed from everyone , some even shake they head bro . It’s dehumanizing for me ,I go out to eat I swear I get stares , on the train stares . On the bus stares . At work I get stares . Then everytime I walk I’m nervous about people looking at me . I’m very unwell but I have been for awhile now idk what to do atp

My (16F) sister (15F) and I go to different schools. Basically, we used to go to the same school but because she had failed 8th grade twice she was expelled and had to finish high school someplace else and we chose our neighborhood school. Now, that place is known for being full of problems and I’m not trying to discriminate but it is FULL of problems. The cops are there every day during lunch because some kids try to steal parked bikes, others for drugs and all other sorts of shit. There’ve been multiple incidents too and I think there was a lockdown in 2023 because a student had brought a bat to school. My mother tried really hard to keep my sister at my school because of how much she despised our neighbourhood one but she had already spent 10k for one repeated year and couldn’t afford to spend any more on another private school.

School started about 2 months ago and my sister really didn’t mind the school. My mother was pretty concerned tho and I felt off because she kept on talking about how she was talking to so many guys now and how when she was hanging out with her friends some dude who’s an adult asked for her snap. I didn’t want her to fall into this hole where she thinks she’s getting so used to being somewhat popular even tho it’s all an illusion and older guys being into you isn’t them “liking” you.

My sister recently dyed the front strands of her hair blonde. Yesterday, from what she told me, a girl and her friends came up to her and asked her about her hair and why she looks at her (the girl) in a weird way. Basically they had the same hair color and that girl thought my sister was trying to be her. Apparently she also thought she was talking to her boyfriend. My sister said to her that it’s not the case at all and that she doesn’t look at her in a weird way and she actually thinks she’s really pretty. Then one of the girl’s friends told the girl “I think that deserves a smack”.

Then that girl pulled my sister’s hair really hard (her neck still hurts) and started hitting her head and was kicking her and another girl also joined. Everybody was watching and filming and nobody even tried to help except for a girl my sister says is her friend but I really don’t believe it is the case because it took her quite a long time to help and she seemed kind of like she was “enjoying the drama” in the video at first. Then another girl tried separating them but it took a bit of time. My sister was down on the ground and didn’t try hitting back.

Now the reason why I don’t trust my sister’s friends is because one of them is actually in contact with the girl that hit my sister’s and has been hearing from that other girl’s side. She was told that if my sister came to school on Monday with that same hair, that she would take her up for round 2. My sister told me that apparently she has this guy friend that told her he could get his friends to jump the girl.

I told her not to get anyone her age involved and that it had to be taken on by the authorities. The police actually stopped the fight and the director called my mom. My mom was completely shocked and so scared. The video was sent to the director and apparently the police but we still need to go to a local station to officially report and document the incident.

I am so scared for her and I really don’t want her to go to school on Monday. I think even she is scared a little though she doesn’t admit it. I really believe my mom should try getting her taken out of this school and place her somewhere else. I’ve heard horrible things about this school and yesterday was a beating but who knows I mean one day we could get a call that tells us she is in the hospital.

When I watched the video I felt so helpless and I still feel so angry for her. She can’t even watch the video because she thinks it’s embarrassing and I just feel so bad. I still just can’t believe it happened and I have it on replay in my mind.

Whenever someone talks about fighting or I see anyone fighting whether in tv or whatever I just start feeling so weird. I don’t want to make this about me but I just really feel so sick for her. She is a good kid and yes she gets herself in trouble a lot but this was so not deserved and god knows I hate those girls who did this to her so much.

I have been thinking about something lately and it honestly makes me a little sad, I am 28, single, never married, no kids. I work at reception in beauty salon, so I spend most of my day surrounded by people. I talk to customers, smile, jokee around, listen to their problems. Then I go home, grabs my phone and start talking to people all over again. Mostly men from different countries. Some conversations are funny, some are surprisingly deep, and occasionally I meet someones who makes me think maybe this could actually turn into something. And that is where things gett weird. You can spend hours talking to someone you have never met. Learn about their family, their childhood, what they eat for breakfast, what scares them, what they want from life. They ask how your day went. They remember little things about you. Sometimes you fall asleep smiling because of someone who lives thousands of kilometers away. Then somehow, without any argument or dramatic goodbye, everything slowly disappears. Yesterday you were talking about visiting each other. Today you are wondering whether sending another message would make you look desperate. Tomorrow you are practically strangers again. And the most ridiculous part? There is always someone new. Another interesting conversation. Another person who seems different. Another reason to believe this time might actually go somewhere. I am not saying every connection should become relationship. Of course not. I just wonder when we all became so comfortable getting emotionally close to someone without ever making room for them in our actual lives. Sometimes I catch myself wondering whether I genuinely like someone or just like that brief feeling of being important to them. That is an uncomfortable thing to admit. I want something real. Not constant attention, not perfect messages, not somebody promising me world after knowing me for two days. Just someone who actually wants to be part of my ordinary, sometimes boring life. Someone I can sit next to in silence without feeling like I need to be interesting every second. I still love meeting people, and I am not giving up on finding love. But I think I am getting tired of beautiful beginnings that never become anything else. Maybe the loneliest part of modern dating is not having nobody to talk to. Maybe it is having so many people to talk to and still wishing there was just one person you could actually come home to

I don't even know how to explain this without sounding like an asshole, but I need to get this off my chest because it's been eating at me.

My dad died from leukemia. My brother died from liver failure. And before anyone asks, my brother's liver failure had absolutely nothing to do with drinking.

They both died way too young. They went to the doctor, followed instructions, and did what they were supposed to do. They tried. They wanted to live. And they still fucking died.

And then there's my stepdad. He's 69 and has been a heavy drinker pretty much his entire life. Almost a year ago, he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and sepsis. He survived, but he never really got back to where he was before. He went from walking around independently to needing a walker and being so weak that he's afraid of falling. He recently found out he has a stress fracture in his lower spine, too.

But here's what really gets to me....... He won't do anything the doctors tell him to do.

They recommend physical therapy exercises? He won't do them. They tell him he needs to stop drinking and smoking? He won't. They prescribe medication? He refuses to take it. I just don't understand it. These people are trying to help him, and he won't even try to help himself.

And now things are getting worse. He hasn't eaten anything in five or six days. My mom has been begging him to eat, even offering him something as simple as peanut butter crackers, and he gets mad at her for asking. She's trying to help him, and he treats her like she's doing something wrong.

Do you know how frustrating it is to watch someone you love decline while they refuse to do the things that might help them? My mom worries herself sick over him, and there's only so much she can do when he won't cooperate. We can't physically lift him if he falls, we can't afford around-the-clock care, my mom has her own health problems, and I work full-time. We're doing the best we can with what we have, and it's already overwhelming without feeling like we're fighting against the very person we're trying to help.

And I think this is hitting me so hard because of my dad and brother.

They didn't get to grow old. They didn't get more time with their families or the chance to see what their lives could have been. They did what they were supposed to do, and it wasn't enough.

So when I watch my stepdad refuse medication, refuse physical therapy, refuse to stop drinking and smoking, and now refuse to even eat when his family is practically begging him to, I get angry. I think about my dad and brother, and I wonder why. Why did they have to die when they wanted to live so badly? Why do some people get taken from us when they're doing everything they can to stay alive, while others seem determined to throw away the time they have?

And yes, sometimes I genuinely think, *Why even bother going to the doctor if you're just going to ignore everything they tell you? Why waste their time and medical resources when you're not willing to even try?*

I know how that sounds. I do. I know addiction is complicated, depression is real, and people struggle in ways we can't always see. I'm not pretending every situation is black and white, and I'm not saying everyone who makes destructive choices simply doesn't care whether they live or die. I know it's more complicated than that.

But knowing that doesn't make the anger go away.

My dad and brother couldn't control what happened to them. They couldn't just try harder or make different choices and guarantee they'd survive. They did what they could, and they still lost their lives. Meanwhile, my stepdad has people who love him and want him to get better. My mom is right there, worrying about him, trying to help him, practically begging him to take care of himself. And he gets angry with her for it.

I don't want him to die. I need to make that clear because I know how this probably sounds. I don't want to lose him, too. I don't want my mom to go through that kind of heartbreak, and I don't want to watch someone I love suffer. But I'm frustrated, and I'm scared, and sometimes I honestly don't know what to do with those feelings.

It's not just about my stepdad drinking or refusing medication. It's the bigger picture. It's watching someone have opportunities to take care of themselves when two people I loved never got the chance to grow old. It's knowing I can't force him to take his medication, do his exercises, or make healthier choices. He's an adult, and he gets to make his own decisions, even when those decisions affect everyone around him.

I understand that. But understanding something doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and it sure as hell doesn't mean I have to be okay with it.

I think losing my dad and brother left me with a lot of anger I've never really known what to do with. Now, watching my stepdad decline, it's all coming back. I'm scared we're going to lose him, I'm worried about my mom, and I'm exhausted from feeling so helpless.

And underneath all of that, I keep coming back to the same thought.

IT'S JUST SO FUCKING UNFAIR

I miss my dad. I miss my brother. I'd give anything to have more time with them. And I wish I knew how to stop being so angry at a world where people who desperately want to live don't get to, while others seem unwilling to do what they can to keep living.

I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way after losing someone. Maybe you've been on the other side of it and have a perspective I haven't considered. I'm open to that. I just needed somewhere to say what I'm actually thinking, because I can't say all of this to my family without feeling like a horrible person.

I'm grieving. I'm angry. I'm scared. And right now, I don't know how to separate any of those feelings from each other.

dad is sabotaging his own health, isolating from everyone, and can't be reasoned with/won't get help

I'm F27, moved out of my parents' and to another city at 17 with no plans of going back. still visit about once a month.

my dad has always been very complicated and had a pretty awful past who I'm sure I only know the half of. he's confided in me about being abused as a child by an older female family member, about commiting crimes as a young adult, being cheated on, having money stolen by his addict brother, and so on. he's 64 and no longer in contact with his family. he's now decided to no longer interact with my mother's family as well.

him and my mom have been married for about 30 years, i would guess that 20 of those years are just co-parenting and sharing a home with no romantic interactions and constant fighting. he thinks my mom is with him so she wouldnt be judged as the divorcée who abandoned him, my mom tells me she's with him because she's worried he'll stop taking care of himself without her. i agree with that, but i have told her that she cant help him either way.

i have tried at least 5 times to get him to see a therapist. he has gone once to one that was probably very ill suited for him, and never again. i even tried setting up a call with an older male therapist who i thought could be a good match and my dad didn't show up.

he has a ton of health problems and constantly makes them worse due to negligence, or just because he wants to die soon. he's on a lot of medicine which he still takes, because my mom asks him and reminds him to. he's been drinking and smoking more each day, doesn't exercise, skips meals, etc.

the only thing he still does consistently is work. he seems to rely all of his sense of self value in working and doesn't want to stop. he has no hobbies, no friends, no family he talks to. he barely talks to me and I've frankly pushed him away because i couldn't stand him venting to me without ever seeking help or following advice.

I just had a convo with him where I was honestly fed up and snappy, he was telling me about how everyone in his family and my mom's family offended and disrespected him, and he no longer wants to talk to them. I barely have a relationship with these people but I know for a fact he has also argued with them, gotten drunk and messy during family events, and any relationship breakdown was for sure achieved by both parties' doing.

One thing I said is that "I remember every family barbecue ending in shouting and me being upset and thats why i stopped attending". He said he didn't remember him participating in that. I replied that he probably didn't remember because he was drunk. A little later the subject was brought back and he basically quoted me as saying "it was all his fault because he got drunk and fought everyone". Even when I tried telling him that was not what I said and not what I thought, even, he still insisted that it was what I meant.

I'm at a point where I don't know what to do so I can feel a little better about the situation. My grandmas age is catching up to her and my mom will probably move in with her to help; my dad wants to take the opportunity to move out and live alone. At this point I don't put it past him to just drink himself to death. He's told me he won't commit suicide because he's got two daughters, but he's basically just speeding up the dying naturally process.

I love him and want him to get better but I don't want that enough to disturb my own life trying to help him and cater to his needs, mostly because when I did try that, he rejected the help.

But I'm also sure that by doing what I'm doing now, which is basically ignoring him unless things get bad enough that he tries and vents again or my mom asks me to talk to him, I'm gonna feel a world of guilt when he passes.