Hi all! FTM at 25 weeks here, and I am feeling so terrified about labor.
I’m currently leaning toward a vaginal birth rather than a planned C-section, but honestly, the thought of it scares me to death. I have a million racing thoughts and could really use some reassurance from moms who have been through it:
The physical part: How on earth do I push a baby through that tiny space?!
Knowing when it's time: How will I actually know when the baby is ready to come out / when labor starts?
Embarrassing moments: What if I accidentally poop or pee while pushing? (This is a huge anxiety of mine!)
Body size fears: what if the baby gets stuck during push and it harms the baby?
The epidural: I plan on getting an epidural, but how do I know when it's the right time to ask for it?

If you felt this way too, how did you get through it? I am literally so scared and would love any advice or personal experiences you can share!

Hi all! I'm looking for some reassurance and would really love to hear about your experiences.

I'm a 23yr old FTM, currently 29 weeks pregnant, and I've had a relatively healthy, low-risk pregnancy so far. I had HG at the beginning, which I eventually got under control with medication halfway through my second trimester. I've also had a few bleeds with no known cause, but my baby girl is growing well and everything seems to be going well with her!

Because of my circumstances, my own research and discussions with my midwife and hospital, we're currently planning for me to give birth in a birth centre.

They've made it very clear that an epidural isn't available there, and from what I understand, gas and air is likely to be the main pharmacological pain relief option. I've read that birth centres are midwife-led, without the same access to anaesthetists and other medical interventions as an obstetric unit, and that midwives can offer other forms of pain management, such as counter-pressure, helping with different positions, and using the birthing pool. That it is because of these alternatives, that patients there tend not to need medical intervention.

I'm actually quite happy with this! I'd already decided that I would prefer to avoid an epidural if possible. The thought of having one honestly terrifies me, I tend to react badly to new medications, and I'm worried about potentially being less mobile during labour. I've also read things about epidurals and tearing, although I appreciate that birth is unpredictable and there are lots of factors involved.

The thing I'm struggling with is that every single person I've told that I probably won't have an epidural has responded with some variation of "You'll change your mind when you're in labour!" When I explain that I'm planning a birth centre birth, people seem horrified.

I completely understand that labour can be incredibly painful and that things don't always go to plan. I'm not against medical intervention, and if circumstances changed or I felt I needed an epidural, I'd absolutely reconsider.

But all of this is making me quite nervous about giving birth in a birth centre because what if something does go wrong? Is it really that unrealistic to hope for a positive birth centre experience without an epidural?

I also appreciate that labour can last a long time, and I'm aware that exhaustion can become a factor. I'm not expecting everything to be easy or assuming that I'll definitely manage without additional pain relief. But will being in a birth centre really be that bad?

So I’m here looking for experiences from other mums, particularly those who’ve had a positive birth centre experience, those who avoided epidurals (or tried to at first?), and those who started in a birth centre but had to be transferred to the hospital. What were your experiences like?

Thanks in advance - a first time mum who is absolutely terrified of giving birth.

38 weeks pregnant here, started maternity leave today! (Exciting) what do you wish you did in these weeks leading up to labour?

Also - any weird signs that it's starting, that I should look out for?

Wish me luck!!!

Hello, I’ve never posted on reddit before as I’m unsure how to work it however, I have a few questions and maybe some of you could share your experiences/advice

I’m currently 41 weeks pregnant today, was due October 16th. I’m just curious to know if spontaneous labour is still possible after this point, and can it still occur if I have no sign of labour whatsoever (no loss of mucus and no cramps) I’m due for an induction on Wednesday at 41 + 5 and I really do not want to as I cannot birth at a birthing centre.

Ive tried everything possible to get baby out, and have had 2 sweeps so far. I’m still only 1cm dilated and my cervix is sort of soft, but still a little firm. I haven’t lost any mucus plug, and never really have cramps. I’ve had no sign of labour whatsoever and I’m feeling a little discouraged and upset over it. :)

I'm giving birth January the 29th. I'll have 26 days of holiday for the new year. I really need to finish decorating my house, I bought it in May then got pregnant that month. I work 5 days a week and by the time I clean my house and do the chores on the weekend I don't have any free time to decorate.

I feel terrible at the moment and can't imagine doing this for 3 more months, so who knows if I'll take Maternity leave in January but financially I probably need to work until I give birth. I get 10 weeks of maternity at my pay without a bonus and then go onto Statutory so probably smart to keep as much maternity as I can for after the baby is born. I'm not sure how long after coming back from maternity I will work there as I don't think the hours will be realistic with a baby.

I've never done this before and don't know what to do or expect, any advice appreciated.

UPDATE: thank you all so much for your comments! I spoke to my manager and told her that she was misinformed and antenatal appointments were required to be paid and that I will not have make up my hours.
I think management were just trying to find a loophole as to where they didn’t have to pay me.

Hi everyone, I recently found out I am pregnant with my first baby,
I have told one of my managers and one of the first things she said to me was that I don’t have much annual leave left to use for appointments so we will have to work out how I will make up my hours.
The problem is that I work two jobs so I don’t have much flexibility (my manager at my second job has been amazing and told me that she will give me all day off,still paid, when I need to attend appointments)
I wasn’t aware that I’d have to use annual leave to attend appointments.

Is this how things usually are?

Sorry if this is a silly question, this is all new to me!

I am looking for experiences from people who have given birth privately and on the NHS, particularly after previous losses or late losses.

I’ve had three incredibly devastating late losses and I’m finding myself increasingly anxious about the care I’m receiving during this pregnancy. I’ve had several experiences with my midwifery team that have left me feeling unheard, particularly when it comes to acknowledging my history of stillbirths and losses and birth preferences.
It feels as though this is consistently overlooked in conversations despite how significant it is to my care.
At my appointment today I was concerned to find that a needle was reused twice during a blood draw. My blood pressure was also taken incorrectly at an earlier appointment. After everything we’ve been through these experiences have really shaken my confidence in the NHS.
Following our losses, I was placed on the postnatal ward alongside women who had just given birth to healthy babies which was one of the most traumatising events in my life. The bereavement midwife assured me this wouldn’t happen again but I was given the same assurance previously and it happened again. I appreciate that these situations can be complicated and they have to prioritise other women for private rooms but the impact of being placed in that environment after such tragic losses was enormous.

I genuinely cannot fault my consultants under the NHS who have been incredible. I know some also practise privately which has made me wonder whether private care might offer us greater continuity and levels of care. I’d initially planned a home birth but I’m finding myself increasingly reluctant to proceed with that plan because I’m losing confidence in the care around me.
Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole reading about maternity care failures and now I’m frightened that we might be failed again. I know anxiety is playing a part in this but it’s difficult to separate that from the experiences that have contributed to it.

Out of anxiety, I’ve booked a consultation with The Portland to explore private care. However I’ve also heard that choosing an NHS hospital with a private maternity wing may be a more sensible option, particularly in terms of access to emergency services and specialist care if needed. I’m unsure about this as a few of my co-workers have chosen the Portland and two had an emergency c-section which was incredibly well managed. They also do have a NICU.

So my question is for those that have experienced both private and NHS maternity care. Was private care worth the thousands of pounds? Did you feel you received better care, continuity and communication or did you find that the differences weren’t significant enough to justify the cost?

I am trying to work out what might genuinely help us feel safer and better supported this time around.

I’m in London this week and I see the baby show in Olympia is on. Has anyone been and is it worth it? I’m not from the UK so I’m not sure if I can benefit from any discount codes they may have. Thank you!

Hi everyone

I had my 12 week scan on Monday 5th October followed by the screening blood tests.

I was told I would get a phone call if there was anything serious and if not should get a letter in two weeks. I haven't heard anything at all and the bloods aren't even showing up on my nhs app as "waiting for results" or similar. I'm a bit worried they could be lost? Although have spoken to others who've said theirs were delayed also. Should I be chasing them or relax and wait to get my letter?

Whipps Cross Hospital, london - if that makes any difference!

Thank you!

Hey everyone! My husband and I are set to go on our honeymoon to Japan in just over a week, and we’ve just had the loveliest surprise of finding out that I’m pregnant!

I’m currently at 5 weeks and have been hit like a truck with the fatigue and nausea already. I guess I’m just conscious about the symptoms getting worse while we’re away, so I was wondering if anyone had any tips/advice for whilst we’re away?

We have a lot of down time on our itinerary so won’t be constantly on the go, and naps will definitely be on the cards. Just wanted to see if anyone could share a similar experience :) Thank you!

A few weeks ago, I started getting itchy here and there, but I didn’t think much of it. Gradually, it got worse, so I called MAU for advice. At the time, I didn’t realise that itching during pregnancy could potentially be dangerous.
They booked me in for blood tests and explained that it could be ICP or simply pregnancy hormones. I had my first blood test and didn’t hear anything for around 3–4 days. Then I received a text asking me to come back for another blood test, but no explanation was given.
I called the unit to find out why, and they explained that some of my levels were elevated and they wanted to check whether they were continuing to rise or whether it had been a one-off result.
I went for my second blood test yesterday, and they called me today to say that my ALT levels were elevated again. They’ve recommended inducing me at 38+6 (I’m currently 37+3).
The midwife said I could take some time to think about it and discuss it with my partner, but their recommendation is to go ahead with the induction because my levels are so high. My bile acids were within the normal range, but my ALT was 133.
I’m honestly so worried and have been crying all morning. I don’t know what to do. This is my first baby, and an induction wasn’t part of my birth plan. I know that plans can change and that birth doesn’t always go the way you imagined, but I’ve heard so many scary stories about inductions, and it’s making me really anxious.
I guess I just want to hear from anyone who has experienced ICP or had elevated liver enzymes during pregnancy. What happened in your situation? Did you have an induction, and how did it go? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, I’m feeling quite overwhelmed right now.

TW: specific details about birth

Hi all!

I found this sub super helpful when I was pregnant and wanted to share more about my birth story as a bit of a cautionary tale and a reminder that you know your body best, and you should never hesitate to advocate for yourself during labour.

First off, I am extremely thankful my daughter and I are both well. She is still as perfect as she was on day one, now two months later! ❤️

I had planned to have my baby in the MLU at my local hospital, as I’d had a pretty uneventful pregnancy.
At 40w+2d, I started having contractions around 8AM. As a FTM, I wasn’t sure this was actually it (even though everyone told me I would just know!), especially since my water hadn’t broken. But I started timing the cramps anyway, just in case.
Fast forward a few hours, and the contractions were consistently 5mn apart. I called maternity triage, only to be told there was no bed at my local hospital and I’d need to go to another one 35mn away (bearing in mind my local one is just 5 mn away!). After some discussion, she finally told me to go to my local hospital after all. Bags in the car - I thought this was it.

We arrived at the hospital around 11:30 and were seen by a midwife. I explained that I believed I was in labour. She was a bit dismissive, but agreed to do a physical check.
Upon examination, she told me my waters were still intact and that I wasn’t dilated at all. She said and I quote:
"This is early labour, it could be weeks before you give birth."
She told me to go home, ride it out, and take a hot bath.

I have a pretty high pain threshold due to endo, but I remember distinctly telling my husband on the way back to the car: "If this isn’t labour, I don’t want to give birth anymore." 😂

We went home and I was frustrated, exhausted, and in severe pain. I tried the hot bath - no change. I lay in bed - no change.
Over the next 1–2 hours, I started getting delirious from the pain and throwing up. I thought I’d picked up a stomach bug since I "clearly wasn’t in labour," so I sat on the toilet because the position made the pressure somewhat more bearable.
The contractions grew insanely intense. All of a sudden, I felt an overwhelming urge to push. My waters broke right then and there.
My husband rushed in to help and tried calling maternity triage and was put on hold for 17 minutes while I cried out in pain on the toilet.

At that point, I felt a bulge and screamed to my husband that the baby was coming now. He dialed 999, getting through straight away.
Their first advice to him was to get me onto the floor and tell me to resist pushing to avoid tearing (which, spoiler alert, did not happen).
The paramedics arrived just 6 minutes later. I didn't even have time to take a single puff of gas and air** **as one push later she was born, 3 minutes later, right there on our bathroom floor, miraculously avoiding putting blood all over the hallway carpet!

We were taken to the hospital in an ambulance, where I had to have surgery for a 3rd degree tear and we stayed for three days of monitoring. Thankfully, we were both okay.
I never had a strict birth plan or was anxious about giving birth, so I don’t feel like I was "robbed" of the birth I wanted - if anything, it makes for a great story. However, I am conscious of how lucky we both are to have come out of this healthy, especially after reading similar, more tragic stories in the news.

My biggest takeaway from all of this is that I wish I had known to advocate for yourself and refuse when they told me to go home. The recovery was difficult with the tear and I wish I had known to push back so I could have given birth in the MLU and had a potentially easier recovery.

YOU know your body better than anyone else.

Simply because someone is a medical professional does not mean they are always right.

Trust your gut and do what you think is best for you and baby! 🫶🏻

PS: shoutout to all the paramedics out there, absolute legends 🌟

Hello, I am currently 5 weeks pregnant today and on Wednesday I went to the EPU as I had cramping and bleeding which is heavier than spotting but less than a period. When I had my hcg levels tested on Wednesday the level was 75 I went back today and my results were 109 from my understanding they are meant to double has anyone had the problem with them rising slowly and what was the outcome? I am incredibly scared I’m having a miscarriage. I have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and due to endometriosis struggled with infertility, I had my endo removed June 2026 and now finally I’m pregnant so I’m so worried!

Hi everyone! Just wondering if anyone else didn’t get much information about their baby’s growth at their 20-week scan?

I had mine yesterday and, thankfully, our baby girl is doing well. At the end of the scan, the sonographer said she was measuring within the normal range and that she’d send all the measurements over to my midwife.

Is this pretty standard? I’ve seen some people mention what percentile their baby is measuring on, and I’m wondering if I should have been given a bit more information about her growth.

Our sonographer was lovely, by the way! She explained everything she was looking at throughout the scan. I think I’m just wondering whether it’s normal not to be told much more about the measurements, especially as I don’t see my midwife for another six weeks.

I’m assuming that if anything had been flagged, they would have let me know? I’m just kicking myself for not asking more questions at the time, but I was so in awe of the whole experience and seeing our little girl that I didn’t really think to ask!

I’m 37+6 and my waters ruptured spontaneously at 4 am this morning!

however since then nothing much has happened.. I have ongoing water trickling and gushing, some back pain but no contractions yet!

was assessed by triage, they confirmed waters have broken and listened to HR. Everything is fine but they said to return at midnight if no progress or return earlier is any signs of progress

I don’t really know what to do with myself, Ive just had lunch and chilling in bed with lights off and Netflix to try and get oxytocin flowing.

Has anyone been in this position before, any positive experiences or advice??

I’ve woken up this morning (29+2) feeling nauseous but also insatiably hungry, like I cannot fill myself even slightly. I experienced this in the 1st trimester although the hunger was not this extreme, has anyone else experienced it this far into pregnancy? I’m assuming it’s because baby grows so much quicker in the last few months but all I’m reading is about appetite decreasing instead due to lack of space for digestive system.

Does anyone know where I can find them in the app? Maybe I'm looking in the wrong place

I'm now 17 weeks and getting worried, I've seen a consultant and my community midwife since having the scan at 13 weeks

My midwife couldn't find the results either but she's honestly awful and genuinely can't use a computer so that doesn't count for much

I had my scan at 36 weeks and my placenta is 6mm from the cervix, my placenta is posterior ( at the back)

I have a planned c section at 39 weeks exactly but they also booked me for another scan at 38 weeks.

I've read that with placenta previa c section is normally booked between 36 weeks and 37 to avoid labour. So I'm a bit confused why mind is scheduled for 39 weeks.

I'd like to know what week other mums had their c section specifically with placenta previa. In the UK

I’m almost 12 weeks pregnant and, as the title suggests, I’ve just eaten a sandwich that was bought for me which I didn’t realise contained coppa. I thought at the time was cooked ham which I was reassured was ok. It was a small amount, I’d say 1-2 slices, but should I be worried? Would be grateful for advice from people who have experienced similar incidents if possible 🙏

I'm currently 40weeks+1day pregnant and wondering how long it took for everyone to go into labour after their bloody show!

I had my second membrane sweep yesterday. My midwife managed to get two fingers in and said I was around 2cm dilated. She also mentioned that my cervix was very stretchy and that she had a good feeling about it.

Today, I've passed some thick, jelly-like, yellowish mucus with streaks of fresh red/pink blood, which looks like it could be my bloody show.

I haven't had any proper contractions yet, though, I am feeling extra crampy and I'm wondering if this is a sign that things might be getting started!
For those who experienced bloody show after a membrane sweep, how long did it take for labour to start?
Did you go into labour within hours, a day or two later, or did it take longer?
Would love to hear your experiences!

I was meant to have my elective C-section at Wythenshawe hospital this afternoon but got a call in the morning telling me not to bother coming in because they have no space on the ward. They said they would try to fit me in on Monday but couldn’t guarantee that it wouldn’t get cancelled again. I also need to have another pre-op appointment with blood tests because by Monday the ones I had this week won’t be valid any more, but I haven’t been told any details about where or when this will be. I’m 39+2 today and by Monday will be 39+5, I was so so ready to meet our baby today :(

I’m really disappointed (though of course I understand that emergencies have to take priority) and feel like the whole thing has been quite disorganised, I didn’t even get my date until I was 38 weeks and that was after chasing it up for 3 weeks myself!

Has anyone had similar experiences at Wythenshawe, and has anyone ever had their elective section cancelled twice? I’m scared to get my hopes up for Monday now in case it happens again

Had my first NHS midwife appt at 7w3days this week. They go through like million questions about medical history and health and family history etc. fine…
and obviously we go through the obvious: “do you smoke?
no, any alcohol? Yes occasional drinks (pre pregnancy) then she asks “any drug use?” I pause and think - normally I would lie and say blank NO. But you know what… then I think oh maybe it is better for any statistical analysis or whatever that I admit yeah there has been historic recreational drug use. I say Mdma, mushrooms, cocaine.
Then she goes serious and says “we are going to have to report this to social services, and your tests will now include toxicology”.
And I was just like “Are you for real, this was years ago, I couldn’t even tell the last time I took any of those drugs at a party, should I have just lied and said no?”
And she said no we just need to give you the best care and it is important we know all of this.
But it just felt like - you are basically treating me like some sort of crackhead mother before the baby has even developed into a fetus (still an embryo scientifically speaking) and feel like social services need to be involved? Without even asking anything about my social status, education level to make an informed decision whether I am someone with a drug problem or have dabbled with some party drugs in my 20s and early 30s.
So the conclusion is that it is better to lie than be honest, because there will always be a mark on my file now that I have taken drugs. And nobody cares what the father has done, they could basically be shooting up heroin as we speak, and nobody would twitch an eyelid.
I guess I don’t really have a question other than how worried should I be that this will be on the record forever now?

I'm wondering if anyone has been/tried swimming into 3rd trimester?

I'm definitely a water baby & would have done cold water swimming pre pregnancy but haven't been much since finding out I was pregnant. I have severe PGP and feel it would be a great way to get my exercise in but also take the pressure off!

Any tips/stories/advice would be much appreciated!