porn addiction isn’t really talked about among women and so for the last 10 years i was able to gaslight myself into thinking i could stop anytime i wanted, i wasn’t creating any physical issues for myself like death grip for men, and that it wasn’t messing with my head.

i started watching porn when i was 11. i remember i immediately started watching pretty brutal/intense pornography. i was watching it before i even had proper sexual desires of my own, and before i even knew how to masturbate. i am 22 now and my sexual fantasies don’t even involve myself. i think of third person views of attractive women. that is absolutely insane. i’m fully a straight woman and i think about women’s bodies to get myself off.

it’s gotten especially bad recently. my boyfriend and i had been only been having sex like once a month. im not asexual, i was watching porn and getting myself off almost everyday but didn’t want to have sex with my boyfriend whom i am very attracted to. yet i still had the delusion that my porn usage wasn’t causing any issues.

2 weeks ago i was setting screen time limits because my phone usage was really bad and decided let me just try blocking porn sites too and see what happens. i feel the urge to watch porn way more and way stronger than the urge to get on tiktok or eat junk food. i get the urge multiple times a day and i still think oh it’s not a big deal if i just watch it one more time. but planning on sticking with it. i really want to fix my brain and my sexuality

I've been addicted since I was nine.

I have done and seen horrible things.

ive had impulsive thoughts for as long as I can remember, and since trying to abstain from content ive only been thinking bout them more. not only in a sexual context. i look at people i dont know and there is a voice in my head that says hurtful and horrible things to them, about them- sometimes i get faint visions of things occurring and i have to hit myself and shake my head or close my eyes to get rid of them. it never lasts for long.

i don't want to be this way. i am a monster and its all my fault.

I have seen almost everything that there is (never. ever. children.) including non-humans- oftentimes animated or anthro but I regretfully admit there was a handful of times where morbid curiosity got the best of me and I could not get myself out of a spiral. they were real, horrific videos. i to this day cannot believe they were real. a screen makes you feel so disconnected from reality happening on the other side of the glass that its easy to desensitize yourself.

I acted on the latter half once. I was twelve. Thankfully, no creatures were harmed in any way. i live in guilt and shame every day that i even decided to pursue something of that disgusting nature. i was so young. but- right is right and wrong is wrong. am i allowed to forgive myself?

today i told my mother and my girlfriend- everything except for the previous statement. i don't think i can admit that to anyone but a therapist.

i feel lost- disgusted, and most of all- suicidal. i thought that i could recover and deal with these thoughts on my own, but i cant, and i reached out for help which is good- but this will follow me everywhere. this is a drug, a high, and its an addiction that makes me want to leave this plane.

addiction runs on both sides of my family- i was into sh and drugs in my early teens- but stopping those was easy. i think i know why- i had this. i thought i could be better than my weak alcoholic uncles or nicotine addicted father but here i am.

my mother assured me everything would be alright, but my girlfriend cried. a lot.

we are still together, and she insists she wants to see me recover and get better because this isnt me, but what if it is?

she is the love of my life. we are young but from what i understand about romance and relationships- i want to marry her. she held my hand and stayed by my side the entire time i spoke- through whispers and sobs. she wants to go into animal care. it would be easier to feel better if someone stabbed me in the neck. though, i understand maybe im not allowed to or supposed to feel better. ive always had trouble fully comprehending positive emotions like love or admiration- union like friendship and its expectations- and if i am really myself. sometimes it feels like im pretending even though im being genuine- like im a shell of myself. unrelated- sorry.

my best friends' dad growing up was a pedo- i wasn't allowed to go over to their house anymore after he had things on his computer and my friend was upstairs with a neighbor. we were 9-10. maybe that is what started everything? maybe something happened? my dad is semi convinced he touched me but i don't remember a hint of anything. (im ftm)

i thought i understood how wrong it was. i have faint memories of being on my moms computer- googling your basic phrases.

it was a thrill- doing something you knew you weren't supposed to- and the physical satisfaction that came with it? in theory it was harmless. until it wasn't

I'm eighteen now.

it got bad, really really bad. like i said ive seen almost everything. i feel like i should be in jail, or in a ward or something- like I've been lying to everyone i know because i kept this dark corner hidden in hopes i could get the chore over with and forget it ever happened- but its literally bleeding into my day to day life. intrusive thoughts of almost every nature, all the time. i don't want them. i don't want to be like this. but its so easy to get it over with than try and struggle against the emotional and mental turmoil. but its not right.

my question to recoverees and those in the process is: how do you let yourself/make yourself feel like a good person again?

this all feels unforgiveable. my life feels over before it even began. god forbid i tried to take care of everything myself- id be struggling for years to come. i cant do this alone but i am so ashamed to admit half of anything.

this doesn't feel like who i am. this doesn't feel like me but it was my actions that led me here from so young. i know i can change but i don't know if i will ever feel right again. i pray often that this is ocd, or maybe i was traumatized- something to make the blow of reality easier- but here i sit at my computer, tipsy, trying to forget again.

i feel like i should be punished. do i punish myself?

advice?

i have been addicited to porn since i was 8 years old 10 years now i almost quit but i keep falling back into a hole ive jerked off in every way imaginable i feel disgusting i feel i need to get this off my chest ive been holding this here for years TW skip to next parenthesis if you donot want to weirded out by taboo thoughts (when i was 13 i was badly addicited i mean 2-3 times a day and one day i was home alone i was really horny jerking off around the house i found my moms vibrator and started using the vibrations on my penis and jerking off in her panties i cummed i stole them i used to take some of her worn panties to cum in and keep them and do all weird things to them in them i felt disgusted but i continued to do for months around untill i turned 14 i stoped with the pantie jerking off but i still used her vibrator for years i dont know whyi feel horrendous every time i do use i.) ive been sick for awhile ive jerked off in school with food items with a make shift pocket pussy inside stuffed animals using massage guns ive done almost every thing possible that you could think of im seriously been in a depression for years when whenever im sad i jerk off basically i lost my girlfriend a year ago because of my porn addiction i feel disgusting every time after i cum but it has ruined my life and i need to stop ive let my life slip away from me in this addicition it has killed me made me have no courage no real will to wake up everyday scared to talk to women i need help badly please give me any advice sorry for anything ive said

I’m 30 male and I can look at porn and not get hard at all what is wrong with me. Im trying to get off porn, I have been going to therapy and my therapist said I use porn as emotional connection because my my wasn’t there for me to give me that emotional connection. So I’m trying to stop it but I don’t even get hard. I have watch for 8 hours a days sometimes on off days and not get hard because I use it to feel
A emotional connection. I also just got divorced in June for because I pushed my wife away from this so I want to fix this but I can’t control it. I have been doing this since i was 12 I stopped for a short time when I was 20 but went right back after a couple of months off. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I am a coward. To give some context, I am 25M. I was beaten by my mother who struggled with daily drinking and since I was a kid. I ended up finding porn early on and unknowingly used it as my fall back crutch for anything.

I found out that I had ADHD, BPD, and autism late in life, and I am finally sitting down and analyzing the causes and triggers that made me fall into getting addicted to porn.

I am very anxious due to CPTSD, and I have big feelings from BPD, so whenever I was frustrated about anything minor or major, I would turn to porn. If I was beat? Porn. If I was anxious? Porn. If I was frustrated at myself? Porn. I used porn so often to escape frustration that I would use it to get off multiple times a day.

I started using porn as an escape from feeling shitty and feeling stuck in my home environment while enduring abuse, but I kept going anytime I felt an urge to masturbate, or any of my triggers flared up. Eventually, not only did the porn categories get more extreme, I also developed extreme sex anxiety from consuming so much porn.

As I continued to use porn into my later schooling years, I became violently anxious about myself and my body as well. It felt safer to consume sexual content through a screen, and I ended up turning down or talking myself out of sexual opportunities.

My self esteem was low, and it would then trigger my porn addiction, and it was a never ending cycle.

I would also maintain regular exercise for months, then feel shitty about myself and relapse into porn again.

In my adult life, I had continued to use porn to the point that I had folders of hundreds of content creators and pornstars so that I could counter my PIED (Porn induced Erectile Dysfunction) from porn rotting my brain.

I got into my second (ever) relationship 3 years ago and I was a piece of shit. I had major anxiety for doing anything sexual with my partner, and I couldn't unless I was inebriated to qwell the anxiety.

ADHD + Porn addiction made it extremely hard to perform, and I was too much of a coward to admit anything to my partner.

I ended up falling back into porn after swearing it off in the beginning of our relationship, and started using it to glance at before getting intimate to counter my PIED. The anxiety and guilt only added to it affecting me more, and I ended up continuing this habit and collecting more content that would help faster.

My partner found out a couple nights ago while going through my phone, and I completely ruined their trust and their life. They've helped me through my worst mental episodes, and I betrayed them for three years straight looking at porn behind their back.

I was too much of a coward to tell them directly and fess up, and I was too weak to actually stop and face my addiction. I answered the questions they had for me while they were crying. They are currently staying with friends at the moment and I don't blame them if they leave me.

I've been reading the Porn addiction subreddit posts recently and seeing what everyone else is struggling to with, or what everyone overcame.

I really appreciate the bravery everyone has to talk about this, as I am deeply ashamed of myself for betraying someone's trust. I apologize to everyone if I rambled, or if this is disorganized.

I have been trying to find porn addiction therapy groups near me, or a therapist who can help me with this as well, and I would genuinely love any advice that anyone has so I don't continue on messing up and hurt other people and myself.

Today marks exactly 100 days since I last watched pornography. I’m incredibly proud of myself and just have to share it. I can confidently say that after these 100 days, I’ve noticed tangible benefits—and it’s definitely not just a placebo effect. First and foremost, my sex life has improved tremendously. I’ve never had such great sex, and so consistently, too. My erections are as strong as they were when I was a young guy. I started noticing improvements in this area after just a few weeks of abstaining from masturbation and porn, but hitting the 90-day mark was a real milestone. Now, my erections are rock-solid, and I’m able to have sex in various positions I’ve always wanted to try. On top of that, I’ve experienced greater peace of mind, better motivation for my workouts, and an overall improvement in my well-being.

I truly encourage anyone struggling with a porn addiction to take up the fight—the results are well worth it. I was hooked on this crap for a very long time, and I can see that my life has improved significantly.

Hello, im new to Reddit, so serious replys only.

I'm a male, and I have a serious porn addiction. I don't know how to quit and anything honestly helps. I can't exactly "talk to a professional" about this, due to personal reasons. My addiction started in 6th grade and it made me feel like I would never be loved by anyone. Now, im in HS, and I have a loving and supportive girlfriend. It's gotten so out of hand I can't even look and my freinds who are girls without thinking a dark, sexual thought. Please, im at my ends meet. I used to use self harm to keep myself in check, and that worked for a month but made me feel worse. Every time I jerk off, I feel sick and disgusted. I really need help, Thank you

TL;DR im addicted to porn, and I can't think of my freinds without thinking something sexual, anything helps

Day 7 since the last time I consumed porn.

I'm so scared of what comes next. I've hard longer streaks in the past during busy times, but this is the longest I've managed in a long time. I feel determined and committed to finally, durably overcome this addiction. But I'm also HELLA scared of how I'm going to get through the first 3-6 months.

Still, it feels good to celebrate this step, and I hope to celebrate many more milestones in my journey being free of porn.

So far, I've managed with just keeping all technology out of my room, hitting the gym, sleeping well, keeping busy with friends or hobbies in the evenings, but I expect it to feel way more challenging at times. I've talked so much about the negative effects of porn to my friends that I'm gonna feel so stupid and exposed asking one of them to help me with accountability, but I guess that and getting a pretty good browser and app blocker are the next steps in the journey.

Channeling strength for everyone in this journey!

Quitting porn.

I’ve been trying way harder to quit for myself and my girlfriend. Currently I’m on the longest intentional streak I’ve been on in ages and I can’t tell her because I know she won’t be able to handle it. She wants to support me and I try to let her but I can’t handle the guilt and the added pressure when I tell her anything about what I’m going through is making it a lot harder because she can’t hear about it without overthinking and getting upset and down whenever I talk to her. Her being upset isn’t the problem because I fully expect her to not be but my issue is that she’ll tell me that she’s okay with something and that it’s fine and she knows it’s hard and then a few hours or a day later she says she actually is upset and then it becomes a lengthy discussion. I just don’t think she can handle it and I don’t blame her for that but I don’t think that added pressure is making my recovery easier I think it’s hurting the process. I don’t know what to do.

I was introduced to porn when I was maybe 9? I had unfiltered internet access, of course I found those things. I avoided it up until I was 14. I never watched the videos but I started off with reading explicit material, then I went to ai chatbots. I got addicted to pornographic roleplays and I regret it every day. I just relapsed again today, though it wasn't terrible, I still regret it.

The worst part is, I don't think I ever would have gotten a porn addiction if it weren't for ai. God, I hate ai I hate porn and I hate the Internet. I didn't even get happy teenage years. I did a lot of rps I regret and consumed a lot of content I should never have. I can't stop thinking about how much of a bad person I am for this and I don't know what to do.

Does porn addiction make you more irritable and less content? How does it affect your mood and are hobbies less enjoyable?

I got off porn for 8 months in the past, and I never felt better in my life. So confident, happy, mental clarity and a good life

Managed to get a girlfriend and get married, I stayed off of porn for a while

But the habit has been slowly building up, even if it’s not porn, I désiré to look butt pics on Instagram or another thing

I see another women with desires of sex and I can’t see them just as a regular human being

It’s come to the point Where I Don’t desire my wife anymore, even tho she’s really hot

I have blocked porn from my phone, but when I feel an urge to consume, which is usually when I’m just scrolling on my phone, my brain finds ways to get it.

From Twitter or even from Reddit, those are sites I can’t block unfortunately

Please help, I really want to quit watching porn and live Real life

I need help/ guidance I know each case is so unique, and I've been numbing myself and just need to feel the pain. we never even had sex, I'm a virgin at 20. Everyone else my age has friends, has cars, has jobs and easy access to sex I resent them all :(

I am facing mental stress depression and anxiety because of one thing" porn addiction". I started watching from age 11 i got abused by a 15 year old girl when I was 5 since then I don't know what was it and started searching and watching porn from 11 now I am 16 I am totally fucked up my mental health is fucked up can anyone help me please !

hello everyone, as you can guess from the title i am a porn addict like a lot of you here and i am right now in a very dark place and kind of hopeless because i am still an addict and i reached a chapter where if this keeps going i will lose everything, i have had this shackling addiction since i i was 13 years old, at first i didnt notice it affecting me because it was regular porn and the brain was young, my life started to degrade exactly in 2016 in my 2nd year of university, by then i escalated in fetishes a lot ( female domination ..etc ), this was the start of long years of suffering ... failing at studies, problems with parents ( this has damaged me a lot ). but despite staying 10 years in the bachelor degree ( miraculously didnt get kicked ) ... i managed to get the degree. then i met my future wife in my first year of masters and together with her i got the masters degree which made my parents very proud ( never seen my dad so proud tbh ). from the get go i was upfront with her that i have this problem that is destroying me, despite everything and all my flaws she loved me and accepted me, she is the best person for me and am very gratefull to have her. i am going to fast forward to the present day and the situation i am in, i moved to germany with the help of my parents to start a masters degree in physics, my wife is still in my homeland. right now i have in a crucial situation because i have a golden chance to fix my failure in my studies, make a path for my wife so we can live here in germany together and make my parents very proud .... the german system is very very very different from my country's system and is very study friendly and not stressfull as you can choose what you want to study and spend 3 to 4 years in master. but this addiction is stealing every ounce of concentration .. memory ..energy from me ... i have a lot of responsability on my shoulder .... and i am fapping to a screen ... this is a shame and i feel i can see my life destroyed in some years ... this is very scary and i am in a dark place ... i need some insight from you guys if you can ... i dont know what to do i am lost ... i wish someone could help me breakfree from this ( at first i was talking to my wife about my relapses but as understanding as she can be ...she loves me very much and sometimes the wrong timing will make her very sad ... she would be devastated to hear i relapsed , so now i am afraid to talk to her and she becomes sad ).

My husband and I have been together 16 years, married 6. Sex has always been there but maybe not as it should have been. He always watched porn, phone riddled with reels of women, he would scroll them next to me, stare in public. I would say things, get upset but nothing changed. Weirdly looking back I’m very confused as to why I didn’t stand up for myself more. Eventually a couple years ago through guilt he toned it down some but nowhere near all.
Beginning of this year due to unusual phone activity he refrained from everything. He would give me his phone for days at a time and eventually yes we had been hacked.. was my own phone and children’s too so I know this was truth. So he stopped watching porn around end of may….. alone.
Him and I all of a sudden clicked over sex, 4 weeks of realising that 16 years we had missed out on such a great experience. Then one night he asked to add in porn.. no problem… then another.. ok…. Then the first real blow to my delusional mind was when he completely disconnected from me, I became an object and he watched porn till he finished. It was a shock and I burst into tears.
Sadly this continued, once a week… then twice, etc now we have no sex life at all… we are having sex daily but I’m only capable of his attention for a couple mins then he needs porn and can last an hr to a few of me laying there experiencing this. I have enabled this and take full responsibility for not saying no.
I switch off now but sometimes my hurt and disgust creeps in too much and I loose it. Last week I put on an outfit for his pleasure… he doesn’t flinch and the sane thing happened for several hours… once done I went to the shower and cut the clothing up as I was so hurt. Last night I told him before hand that he can only fuck me to that so go for it… we argued.. he reminds me that I don’t help the situation and I agree… but I also know he created this toxic circle we are in and it’s on him.
After an hr or 2 of arguing I give him the remote, lay down and say we’ll do what u wanna do I just don’t care… although reluctance showed, it’s an act. He put it on and away he went. I cannot believe this is my reality. He is not watching porn alone though, he tries saying that to me and I remind him he does every night. I just happen to be there.
I don’t know what I’m looking for here but some aligns with addiction from what I look at but some makes no sense. 16 years and this is where we land???

Hi, I am addicted to pornography, 14 years ago. I started watching it when I was 12 years old. I want to quit but I still watch it. Is there anything I can do without asking a help from professionals?

Today is my day 1 of quitting porn addiction. I am 22 now. I was addicted to porn since 14. I never took that bad habit seriously, i thought it was normal thing to do. But it has harmed me a lot and it turns out to be my on of the harmful addition. Which caused stress and damaged my mental health. So, now I want to quit porn addiction and lead a healthy life. I will try my best to quit this addiction. So, i want some advice from you guys.

Thanks.

​

Lately life has been amazing and porn wasn't a big problem despite my addiction, but lately I've just been struggling...Maybe once or twice a week I get to tempted, open reddit and just scroll for a bit before telling myself how wrong it is...And I hate that, I hate myself for that so so much

Hey I'm a 16 year old who has been struggling with lust and dearly needs help. I have been watching corn since I was 13 and have been trying to stop for a year. I only make it about 5 days though. I'm not from a very religious family but I do believe in him but can't find to rely on our Lord and Savior. Please comment and give me some ways I can quit

I find myself wanting to share my abstinence from porn, but feeling uncomfortable doing so, particularly with men whom I know consume or have consumed porn. I have been sober from alcohol and tobacco for almost three years, and I find that much easier to bring up casually in conversation -- of course never from a holier-than-thou stance, just wanting to share my wins!

Me (20m) and my GF (20f) have been in a long distance/online relationship for over a year now. And yesterday I finally told my GF about my porn addiction. And its probably gonna cause this relationship to end. I made this account to post anonymously as I my GF and friends have reddit and I'm too ashamed to make any of this about myself to them. This is a long post.

Background info: I was assaulted when I was about the age of 9ish, I can't remember the exact time as I had blocked it out of my memory for a long time. But when I was 10 I got my first phone and only a few months later started watching porn. And it slowly ramped up more and more. It became a full blow addiction and I never admitted it to myself till yesterday. And because of this I grew to be hypersexual. And I really hate it, I really often feel disgusting about myself to the point where I want to be castrated in some capacity so I can remove most if not all of my sex drive. I also have never had a relationship before this one. And have not had my first kiss yet. Nor have I ever been complimented outside of this relationship. Leading me to be really insecure about myself, especially when it comes to sexual and physical attraction.
My GF lives across the country from me (U.S.) and we haven't seen each other in person yet. She has borderline personality disorder and is autistic. She has a hard time expressing herself to me, especially because I have a hard time comforting other people too that isn't just being next to them. When we met we decided to enter an official talking stage, but it didn't last long. As 5 days after we first met here on reddit (different sub) I asked her to be my GF, and not even 3 hours later I told her I loved her. Very fast I know, but its my first relationship ever. And the biggest piece of info is that she said watching porn is cheating, and I agreed to it.

But once we became official I somehow easily dropped all porn. Very easily. I thought it would be a much harder time but I didn't have a hard time for some reason. And I felt pretty good about it. But over time we stopped being sexual together. Which she preferred as she didn't really want to be due to some shitty stuff that happened to her in the past. And I was okay with it for the most part. I don't care about sex that much, especially because I hated how I was hypersexual. But I still did want to be sexual, it just wasn't a priority. But whenever I would try to bring it up I would go about it almost the wrong way every single time. So it never ended well as it would quickly turn into an argument instead about how I only wanted sex and wanted her for her body. Which wasn't true but I still made her feel like that's what I wanted and that is on me.

It got to the point where some random day in July (the month of our 1 year anniversary) I couldn't help myself and I watched some porn, and my addiction started again. And I've been trying really hard to stop, but I can't help myself.

Then during this month we got into a fight about how neither of us open up to each other. And at the end of it I asked if I could vent about how I had been feeling in general. And part of that venting was a sexual section about how I don't feel wanted at all. And that "I wanted to feel wanted, especially sexually." Not instead of just saying "I don't feel wanted by you and its hurting me" I blabbered on more about sexual stuff and how I wanted her to "send me a nude randomly" or "ask me for a dick pick" and just really stupid shit that conveyed a completely different point than the one I wanted. I was an idiot about it and so that's when she first asked me if I watched porn. I liked and said no. And so because of that messaged I sent she would keep asking me if I watched porn. And I kept lying to her and saying no. I do not know why I was just honest, I've never really lied about something this important before. I think it was because we agreed it was cheating and I didn't wanna be another guy who cheated on her like her ex. Or maybe it was because I am ashamed. I do not know and can't tell you as I don't know myself.

But it all came to a head yesterday, where she was not letting it go and kept asking me if I did. I had complained about my sexuality and said "My body wants it but not my mind" which she said was a clue I watched porn. She said she had gone through it too and "So please, let me actually help u" which felt like she really was there to help. Then she also said she wouldn't break up with me if I did. She doesn't lie to me. I can't think of a single time that she has. And eventually in another couple messages I admitted it.

Then like any other reasonable person, she questioned if I had lied about anything else. Like if I was talking to other girls, which I haven't. She said she was disappointed in me because I kept lying to her. And that she needed time to process it. All of which is fair and I'm not holding any of it against her. But since she got this out of me I have finally admitted to myself that its an addiction and I need help. I had therapy only a few hours after this conversation with her and my therapist said many things, like "I'm just trying to fulfill my sexual needs" or things that would help me feel better. Which helped in the moment, but it doesn't help long term.

Then just a few hours ago, my GF messaged me again saying she was feeling suicidal, and it was because of me. I tried my best to comfort her, but again I suck at it. So with that and on top of the fact that I'm the one who hurt her so badly she feels that way it didn't go well. She let some anger out at me. She called me selfish, entitled, immature and a cheater. And said to not be surprised if I end up blocked.

I'm not asking for sympathy. Regardless of my addiction or not I did cheat on my Girlfriend and hurt her badly to the point where she is probably wanting to break up with me. I would like some advice on how to move forward, whether or not I will still have a relationship. And if my Girlfriend doesn't break up with me, how do I show her I really do care and comfort her through this?

Hi everyone! I'm a woman posting here because I'm hoping to hear from men who have struggled with pornography use, especially those who also have phimosis or have experienced physical difficulties with sex.

My fiancé and I have been struggling with intimacy, and one of the biggest explanations he consistently comes back to is his phimosis. I genuinely want to understand how much this can affect someone's sex life and whether it can contribute to relying more heavily on masturbation and pornography.

Our current situation:

My fiancé has phimosis, which he says makes penetrative sex and ejaculation difficult for him. He also takes Adderall daily, which he believes contributes to his difficulties with sexual arousal and performance.

Our sex life has gradually declined to the point where we're intimate approximately once every month to month and a half. When we do have sex, he struggles to finish, and he's expressed that sex can feel performative rather than something he can fully enjoy.

However, he still masturbates regularly, often late at night. He's explained that pornography and visual stimulation make it significantly easier for him to become aroused and reach orgasm.

This is where I struggle to understand things.

If phimosis makes sex difficult or uncomfortable, I can understand why masturbation might be physically easier, especially since he can control the pressure, movement, and stimulation. But I don't fully understand why pornography seems to be such an important part of that experience or why our physical intimacy has become so infrequent.

I know masturbation and partnered sex are different experiences, and I don't expect him to have sex when he's uncomfortable or to finish every time we do. But emotionally, it's difficult not to feel unwanted when he seems to have a desire for sexual release but rarely initiates intimacy with me.

What I'm trying to understand:

I recognize that phimosis is a real medical condition and that it can make penetrative sex uncomfortable or painful. I'm not questioning that. What I'm questioning is how much of our situation can reasonably be attributed to phimosis versus other factors, such as pornography habits, performance anxiety, or potentially becoming accustomed to a particular type of stimulation.

For those who have experienced something similar:

1. If you have phimosis, do you find masturbation significantly easier or more pleasurable than penetrative sex? Can you have a relatively high sex drive and masturbate frequently while having very little desire for partnered sex?
2. Have you found yourself relying on pornography to become aroused or reach orgasm, particularly because penetrative sex is physically difficult? Did that reliance eventually affect your ability or desire to be intimate with a partner?
3. Has phimosis made it difficult for you to ejaculate during sex but not during masturbation? If so, what makes the difference?
4. Have you ever started avoiding sex because you anticipated discomfort, difficulty finishing, or pressure to perform, even though you were still attracted to your partner?
5. For those who have treated their phimosis through stretching, topical steroid creams, or surgery, did your relationship with sex, masturbation, or pornography change afterward? Did penetrative sex become more enjoyable or easier?
6. For anyone who has dealt with both phimosis and problematic pornography use, how did you determine which was contributing more to your difficulties with partnered intimacy?

I think what I'm struggling with most is not knowing whether his preference for masturbation is primarily a way of avoiding physical discomfort or whether pornography has become such a familiar source of stimulation that partnered sex feels less appealing or more difficult.

And perhaps it's a combination of both.

I don't want to assume that he's using phimosis as an excuse, because I know I can't fully understand what he's physically experiencing. At the same time, I don't want to automatically attribute every aspect of our sexual difficulties to his condition without considering whether other factors might be contributing.

I love my fiancé deeply, and I genuinely want to support him. I don't want him to feel ashamed of his condition, pressured to perform, or inadequate because he struggles with ejaculation. But I also miss feeling desired, wanted, and physically connected to him. Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly waiting for him to want me in the same way he seems to want sexual stimulation on his own.

I'm hoping to hear honest experiences, particularly from men who have dealt with phimosis alongside pornography use or difficulty maintaining intimacy in a relationship. Thank you to anyone willing to share their perspective.

Good day everyone
I’m just gonna blunt about my situation because I don’t really care anymore. For context I’m a 23 year old virgin never had a girlfriend and lots of stress in my life kind of feeds into this addiction and it definitely hurts my confidence or makes me not as into going out and meeting people in person, it’s really holding me back in life

Over the past year it’s gotten so bad it’s almost all I think about. It’s even started to hurt my bank as I find myself on OF talking to obvious bots but at times I feel like I don’t care. I’ve had enough I need to grow up and move on.

I could use some guidance and tips that have worked for other people on how to move away from this. How to stop the constant urge to go online

Any help is much appreciated
Thanks in advance